A huge thank you to Caruso5 for her pre-reading/beta help on this chapter!
***********LRM*********
Chapter 78&79 – Anger Management for the Insecure
I wasn't angry with him for keeping the information quiet before our wedding. He knew me well. I was a brooder. I was simply pissed that Gerry could treat him that way.
And that explanation about Chris being too young.
I call bullshit.
During the rare occasions when Gerry would actually go out with us, I'd noticed the way he was always eyeing the other men, especially the very young ones.
Bastard
Bella, sensing my mood, managed to soothe me with her soft words and tender touch so that by the time we arrived home, I was almost myself again.
***LRM***
"Cut!" Clint shouted. "Good take, but I want to try that one more time."
I walked over to Clint.
"I get the feeling you wanted to play that scene a little differently Edward." Clint probed.
I nodded. In the short amount of time we'd been working on the film, I'd really grown to respect him. He not only accepted input from his cast, he expected it.
"I think I want to play it a little stronger, you know, a little more aggressively."
Shane, the author of the novel Enemy Combatant spoke, "Edward's right, his character is pretty angry during this scene. It would be better to see more of that, I think."
Clint nodded in agreement. "Well, we've got the last take, let's do one your way and then we'll decide."
We'd be working late tonight. Clint wasn't a fan of night shoots, he really tried to let the cast and crew have their evenings free, but if we were to finish the film before Christmas, it was necessary.
It was well after dinnertime when I arrived home to an empty apartment. Bella hadn't returned from her night out consoling Christopher.
The place was gloomy without my girl there, so I trudged to the shower with a heavy heart at the prospect of spending the evening alone. After my shower, I found the note she'd left for me.
Edward,
While I'm out with our family tonight, you will never leave my thoughts. I know that if you weren't working, you'd be by my side. I'm going to imagine you there.
No matter how exhausted you may be when you arrive home, please make sure to eat. I've left you a plate in the fridge.
I love you,
B
My spirits lifted, I ate the meal and watched a little television, before turning in. Sleep was hard to come by though. My mind was working overtime, thinking about Chris' situation, and the fact that I missed Bella.
In the process of tossing and turning, an idea came to me. Quite frankly, I was surprised I hadn't thought of it before.
I should ask Chris to stay in the L.A. house…
As soon as the thought solidified in my mind, I realized that it wasn't my place to ask him, not before I'd discussed it with Bella.
I smiled at the feeling of satisfaction that came over me at the realization that she truly was my partner in all things, including the making of these types of decisions.
Some people would view that as a lack of freedom, and resent having to include a spouse in every decision, but that simply wasn't the way things were with Bella and me. For myself, I'd been on my own unhappily for so long that I relished being able to share everything with her.
Not surprisingly, she was thrilled with the idea of having Chris stay in our house.
****LRM****
The next day, while having dinner at my parents', I was able to pull Chris aside.
"Chris, I want to ask you for a favor."
His eyes lit up. "What is it? You have only to ask stud-muffin, I'd do anything for you. You know that. Oh!" He held his hand up to stop me from continuing. "You are going to let me dress you for the movie premier in December! Yes!" He exclaimed as he did a little victory fist pump. "Your sister is so selfish, always trying to hog you for the special events. Now, I want to design Bella's dress as well…."
I laughed. "No, Chris, it's not that, although I wouldn't be averse to you designing for us. I guess you'll have to fight that out with Alice."
He scowled. "Maybe I should ask her while she's feeling sorry for me." He pondered.
"Well, my favor does have to do with your situation."
Chris furrowed his eyebrows.
"As you know, Bella and I intend to make Seattle our home. We are keeping the house in L.A., but had discussed leasing it out. If you were to move in, you would be doing us a favor because the house would still be at our disposal when we were required to be in L.A."
Chris thought for a minute and then smiled. "I love that house Edward. I don't know what to say…"
"Just say yes. Believe me, it would be a load off of our minds to know someone we trust is staying there."
Chris beamed at me. "Then yes, and thank you." He said before hugging me.
-LRM-
"Happy birthday old man," I smiled as I spoke with my Dad.
"Thank you son and none of this old man business, I'll have you know I still feel as I did in my twenties. I actually feel better because these days I get more sleep. Back then I was in medical school."
I laughed. "Yeah, you definitely have the more grueling occupation. I should never complain about my job."
"I should say not." Dad chuckled. "Are you on set right now?"
"Yes. We're almost done for the day."
"That's good. Bella called to wish me a happy birthday as well. She's a wonderful girl Edward."
I took a deep breath as I thought about my wife. "Yes, she is."
"Your mother and I love her very much. If you weren't aware, yours and Alice's happiness is very important to us. It always has been." He cleared his throat. "Now, go home and enjoy the evening with your beautiful bride. I shall do the same; your mother is taking me out."
"Have a good evening Dad. Bye."
"Goodbye son."
-LRM-
"Hey Edward, it's all over the news, Tanya had a little girl." Alec informed as we walked to my trailer.
I was surprised that I didn't feel even a twinge of resentment, only happiness for my old friend. My life with Bella had given me so much joy, that I'd found it easy to forgive Tanya for her selfish behavior months before.
Yes, the fact that Tanya had dragged her feet before finally making a statement about our 'nonexistent' relationship had added to the tension and stress in mine and Bella's lives for months, but it was all water under the bridge now.
"Send her some flowers from us, would you Alec?"
"Sure."
I should have known that my ever thoughtful wife would have beaten me to it by sending a baby gift and flowers.
-LRM-
"Motherfuckers!" I was seething. Bella and I had been happy for Tanya when we heard the news of little Katya, but leave it to the tabloids to take all the joy from the moment.
A couple of the less reputable ones had decided to display a photo of Tanya holding her daughter alongside one of my Bella the night she was out with Chris, Alice and the others, making it look as if she was already bored with marriage and seeking excitement elsewhere.
It took a lot of soothing and a spectacular round of shower sex to turn my mood around, but Bella managed.
I am a lucky man
-LRM-
"What's wrong now, you grouchy fucker," Alec snapped as he brought me a coffee.
I shrugged before glaring at him. "I miss my wife, is that a crime Asshat?"
Alec chuckled. "You've always been moody, but now on top of that, you've turned into a real pussy. Jesus, Edward, you've got everyone's dream job along with a drop dead gorgeous wife, and all you do is sulk."
As much as I didn't want to admit it, he was right. I scowled. "Sorry." I mumbled.
He shrugged. "Don't sweat it man. Just know that I'm always going to give it to you straight." He grinned then. "I'm also kind of jealous. I wish I could find someone I cared about that much, you know; where they're the most important thing, and all that shit."
"You're so eloquent," I told him with a smirk. "I'm surprised you don't have the women swooning at your feet."
"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes. "You know I have no problem getting women, it's just that sometimes I'd like something a little more I suppose."
I shook my head. "It's too early in the fucking day to have this conversation with you."
Alec barked out another laugh.
Little did I know that Alec had conspired with Bella in order that she might surprise me with a visit to my trailer that very afternoon…
After Bella and I spent a little 'quality time' together, I told myself that Alec may be deserving of a raise for pulling that one off.
However when I found him outside waiting and he greeted Bella with a salacious grin before winking at me, making it clear without words that he knew exactly what Bella and I had been up to, I changed my mind.
Asshole
I felt a great amount of pride as I introduced Bella to the other cast members, and to Shane, knowing that meeting a fellow author would be of particular interest to her.
For the rest of the afternoon, I felt invigorated as I worked. Just knowing she was nearby made me incredibly happy and I wondered how she would feel about coming to the set more often.
That was until I found out what day Emmett would be onset to film his 'scene' if you could call it that.
I knew for a fact that Bella wouldn't want to be anywhere near the set that day. I silently wished I could come up with a reason not to be there as well.
-LRM-
"Hey there Philo, how's it hanging?"
I rolled my eyes at the sound of my brother-in-law's bellowing voice as he greeted Clint.
Luckily Clint thought Emmett was hilarious, but then he didn't have to put up with him as much as Bella and I did. We were shooting today in the locker room of a men's gym in downtown Seattle.
"Hi Emmett, are you ready to shoot?" Clint asked him with a smile.
"Hell yeah!" He boomed. "Eddie!" He yelled before slapping me across the back.
Alec snickered beside me.
I turned and plastered on a smile as I greeted the big goof. "Hello Emmett."
Emmett was grinning widely. "What's up? Are you in this scene with me?"
"Uh, no," I answered. "I refuse to share a scene with your ass. It's in my contract."
I could hear Clint chuckling then.
Emmett shrugged. "Your loss my friend." He said before turning back to Clint. "So, you want I should get naked now?"
"Hold on Emmett, not yet." Clint held up a hand as he continued to laugh. "Let me give you the set up for the scene. Now, you see that guy over there," Clint pointed toward Vincent who played one of the terrorists that Clint and I spend ninety percent of the movie pursuing. Clint began to instruct Emmett as I tuned them out. I was vacillating between hanging around the set because Emmett was family, or escaping to my trailer.
I decided to hang around purely out of respect for my wife. If she could spend her afternoon with Rosalie at a prenatal yoga class, I could certainly spend mine with Emmett and his ass.
"So, the close-up will occur when terrorist dude walks past me?"
"Exactly." Clint said with a nod.
I watched as one of the assistants led Emmett over to a makeshift dressing room. When he emerged he was wearing a robe. "Hey Eddie, do you wear one of these over your junk when you do sex scenes?" He bellowed as he pulled open the robe and pointed to the triangular piece of material taped over his genitals.
I didn't even want to acknowledge the question, but knowing Emmett he'd keep pestering me so I nodded and rolled my eyes.
"Good to know." He grinned before dropping the robe altogether.
"All right Mister DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up," He called over to Clint as he gyrated his hips, sending everyone into another fit of laughter. "I always wanted to say that." He chuckled.
Oh dear God
For the next ten minutes, everyone around me had difficulty keeping a straight face as Emmett discussed with Clint whether to 'clench'or 'not to clench' his ass cheeks. I couldn't take it anymore.
"Okay so unclenched it is," Emmett boomed. "I kind of thought that would be your answer but I wanted to make sure. I can see how the clenched cheeks could give the impression that I'm trying to suppress gas which, by the way, is something I never do." He said with a grin and a wiggle of his eyebrows.
Why the hell didn't I escape to the trailer when I had a chance?
"You see Clint, whether we're talking about farts or anything else in my life, I've never felt the need to 'hold back'."
Don't I fucking know it?
Emmett proceeded to place his arm around Clint's shoulders while he continued their 'heart to heart'. "If you ever have the time, I'll tell you how I was able to perfect my 'fire at will' farting technique. It took years, but now my farts are intentional and well-aimed."
Clint stared at Emmett with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open, speechless, while everyone around us dissolved into laughter. Alec was laughing so hard he looked as if he was having a heart attack.
Forgive me Bella…
There was no way I could spend one more minute on that set with my brother-in-law. I didn't walk; I ran straight to the sanctuary of my trailer as if Emmett's farts were in hot pursuit.
-LRM-
Fucking tabloids
One moment they were reporting that Bella was bored with our marriage, and the next they were announcing a pregnancy.
In either scenario, my beautiful girl was painted as an unhappy bride, merely tolerating the situation she found herself in.
Their image of Bella couldn't have been farther from the truth. The reality of the situation was that we were both as deliriously happy as we'd been on our wedding day. The only time we weren't together happened to be the hours each day that I had to work. As Bella had promised, we had yet to spend a night apart.
My girl visited me on set as often as possible. I wish it could have been every day… but I would take whatever I could get.
The tabloids even tried to turn those visits into something ugly.
I scrubbed my face as I waited for the next scene to be set up.
"Hey Edward, did you know Bella was coming today?" Alec asked as he handed me a bottle of water.
My day just got better…
"No, she's here?" I knew my excitement probably showed on my face when Alec laughed and shook his head.
"Yeah, she's over there." He said as he pointed toward a place halfway down the block where I spotted Bella chatting with Shane.
I felt a twinge of jealousy, but I was so happy to see her that I buried that feeling deep down.
"Hey baby," I smiled and kissed her before turning to Shane, "I thought you'd left, Shane," well maybe I didn't bury the jealousy quite deeply enough.
"I, uh, yes, I was just about to leave when I saw Bella. I thought I'd say hi."
a-huh
I turned back to Bella. "I didn't know you were coming today."
"I wasn't sure myself until a little while ago. I had Lou drop me off; I thought maybe we could ride home together?"
I thought about the hours of work yet left to do, and frowned. "I won't be done for hours yet Bella."
"Oh, well, that's okay. I'm always happy watching."
"The thing is, as you can see, we're literally filming in the street today. I'm afraid you'd have to stand so far away that you wouldn't be able to see much."
"I don't mean to intrude but, Bella why don't you wait in the coffee shop on the corner. They have a large collection of books there."
Bella smiled brightly. "That sounds perfect."
"Thanks Shane," Even though I wasn't keen on the interest he was showing in my wife, I owed him one. "Bella, I don't want you waiting alone, how about if I have Sidney stay with you?"
Shane spoke up again. "I can go with her Edward. I have nothing waiting for me but an empty hotel room. This way we can continue our discussion on what constitutes literary genius."
What. The. Fuck?
Unfortunately, Bella seemed thrilled with that idea.
"Is that what you want?"
Please say no…
Bella touched my arm. As usual, the movement calmed me. "Come find me when you finish?" She asked in almost a whisper.
I nodded and smiled before kissing her goodbye.
I made sure to give Shane a pointed look before I left.
Motherfucker just doesn't get it…
"Edward that was a damned good take," Clint congratulated. "Exactly what I was looking for."
The scene required me to be angry. Little did Clint know that it wasn't difficult for me to tap into that emotion. Every time I thought of Bella spending the afternoon with Shane, it was right there just below the surface, clawing to break free.
Dammit
Relief washed over me when the day was finally over. I barely spoke two words to Alec before bolting off to find my girl.
She was in a quiet conversation with Shane, and I wanted to kick myself for my feelings of jealousy when she looked up at me and I saw the love shining in her eyes.
All the way home, I felt like a bit of an asshole, but I couldn't shake my suspicions about Shane.
That evening, I was honest with Bella and told her I didn't trust him. I saw the sacrifice in her eyes when she offered to stop spending time with him, and I felt like even more of a jerk.
There was no way I was going to exercise that kind of control over the woman I loved. I would just learn to deal with my shit. Besides, Shane wouldn't be around forever, he and his 'single' ass would go back to St Louis as soon as the shoot was over.
-LRM—
"I appreciate all of your hard work tonight," Clint told us once we were finally done shooting for the evening. "I know we ran overlong with this scene, but we're in a crunch to get this done before the shoot moves to New Orleans. Thanks everyone."
I made my way wearily to the car, glad to have the next day off, Sidney walking silently beside me. I pulled out my phone, realizing it was too late to phone Bella, and found a text message from her asking how late I'd be.
As I debated whether to phone her, Sidney interrupted my musings. "Hey Edward, I may as well tell you now."
"What?" I asked, only half paying attention.
Sidney hesitated. "Uh, well, I was instructed by Bella to drive you to the new house tonight. It would seem that she wanted to surprise you by having everything moved in."
"You're kidding?" I was happy that we'd finally be in the house, but irritated that I wouldn't be able to enjoy our first evening celebrating.
"Nope. Neither of us knew this shoot would run this late…."
I had a feeling there was more to it than that, but I was so damned exhausted that I didn't pursue it.
Before going upstairs, I took a peek into the great room and found Bella curled up on a blanket in front of the fire. My heart sank when I noted the wine glasses and empty bottle sitting there, along with the remnants of what looked to be a picnic.
She was obviously planning to surprise me with more than the move…
I felt like shit as I lifted her carefully into my arms and walked toward the stairs. Bella attempted to open her eyes. "Baby, I'm so sorry," I whispered.
"Head hurts," she said in a hoarse voice as I tucked her into our bed.
After making sure that she drank some water and took some headache tablets, I proceeded to mentally beat myself up. When I thought about how disappointed she'd probably been that I hadn't gotten home earlier, I felt awful.
Obviously she was disappointed; she drank a whole fucking bottle of wine…
If I'd only known, I would have phoned her.
As usual hindsight's twenty-twenty.
Be that as it may, I was determined to make this up to her, beginning the next day. Every time I attempted to apologize however, she shot me down so, instead, I decided to let my actions speak for me.
I made breakfast and made arrangements for dinner to be brought in.
In the end, the day and evening were perfect. I surprised her by having a picnic 'redo' and Bella couldn't have been more pleased.
Add to that the sex by firelight, and that night quickly became one of my top ten favorite of all time.
-LRM-
I finally had an entire weekend off, and it was shaping up to be a nightmare.
That doll
That godforsaken doll
If this is really how a newborn behaves, Bella and I need to revisit the discussion about having children.
During the ride to Forks, I resisted the urge to toss it out of the window of the hummer.
Just barely.
What? I would have paid for it.
Thank heaven that Chief Swan was the voice of reason in the midst of insanity. He'd dispelled most of my worries when he explained exactly how children really behaved.
After that, my mind was filled with thoughts of Bella pregnant with my child and of little ones running around our house. In my imagination, every one of those children had Bella's brown eyes and hair. I smiled to myself at the image of a miniature Bella climbing into my lap for story time.
Then I thought about the pain my beautiful girl would endure bringing our child into the world and I winced.
But then the Chief said the words that affected me more than all the others 'but it was worth it'.
I still didn't know if I could handle watching Bella suffer, but to have a child which was part of us both, just the thought almost took my breath away.
I wanted it.
We spent the balance of the evening watching old home movies of Bella and Emmett as children.
Damned if Emmett isn't exactly the same…
Bella was an absolute doll, and it made me wish for that little brown eyed girl all the more.
It was strange to hear Renee's voice and I realized that Bella sounded a lot like her. She had been a beautiful woman, and loved her children passionately. I was sorry I'd never get to know her.
-LRM—
My inner horny teenager was officially in control. I wanted Bella in the worst way. I knew that Charlie, and possibly Emmett and Rose would hear us, but I didn't care.
This stupid creaking bed
Sure I turned on the radio trying to give Bella a false sense of security, but I knew it wasn't going to drown out the noise.
Fuck it
The horny teenager and I didn't care.
Not one bit.
-LRM-
"It was nice to have everyone in Church this morning," Charlie stated as Emmett parked the Hummer.
"Yep." Emmett answered. "I was surprised Suzanne wasn't there."
Charlie cleared his throat. "Um, she went to Mass last night, before coming over."
"Suzanne's Catholic?" I asked.
Charlie nodded.
"So Pops, when you gonna propose?"
Charlie froze; his fingers on the door handle. "Are you asking because you want me to propose or because you don't want me to propose?"
I stopped and took a good look at my father-in-law. His face bore an expression which I'd never seen on it before. He looked unsure of himself.
Emmett laughed and slapped his Dad's shoulder. "I think she's great Pops. We all do."
I nodded in agreement as we exited the vehicle.
Charlie eyed me and pursed his lips, thinking, before turning back to Emmett. "Do you, um," he cleared his throat, "I mean do you think she'll go for the idea?"
Emmett grinned at his father as we grabbed the rifles and ammo from the back of the Hummer. "You'd know better than me old man, but, yeah, I think she'll go for it. You are quite the catch. Chief of Police, pushing fifty and still have your hair, that's got to count for something." Emmett said before laughing loudly. "Plus you have a fuckawesome son."
"Thanks jackass," Charlie responded with a scowl.
We were quiet as we approached the target range.
"I guess I should warn you that I don't do much shooting." I murmured.
Or any unless it involves a role in a film.
Charlie quirked an eyebrow. "So, I take it there's lots of room for improvement then?"
I nodded.
Emmett laughed. "That's alright Eddie, even if your shooting skills suck, Bella's a crack shot. She can protect your ass if need be."
I knew Bella could shoot, but I'd never heard anything about her being a 'crack shot'. "She's good?"
Emmett raised his eyebrows. "She's better than me at two things; shooting and pool. At the mention of pool, I thought of Bella's ass in those tight jeans bent over the pool table…
Charlie's laughter broke my concentration. "Don't forget about poker."
"Oh yeah," Emmett grinned again. "But that's only because she has perfected her 'poker face'. Come to think of it, Bella would have done nicely in the old West with those skills." He laughed again.
Yeah, with your farting and her marksmanship, you could have tamed the Wild West in a month.
I laughed at my own joke.
After my pathetic showing on the shooting range, Charlie, Emmett and I stopped off for sandwiches and a round of beers.
We were quiet as we sipped our beer while waiting for the food until Charlie broke the silence. "I think I'll ask her around Christmas."
It took a moment for me to realize he was speaking of proposing to Suzanne.
"I think you should do what feels right Pops." Emmett didn't push him to express his feelings. Charlie wasn't that type of guy.
Charlie nodded, deep in thought. "Being with her feels right." He said matter-of-factly. "You don't think I'm jumping into this?"
"Pops, you've never jumped into anything in your life."
"Except my first marriage," the Chief corrected.
Emmett nodded slightly and shrugged. "I guess."
Charlie spoke directly to him then, "but I don't regret that son. I loved your Mom, and I have you kids. Even with all the shit that came later, I wouldn't have done things differently."
Suddenly, I felt as if I was intruding. Emmett and Charlie, regardless of the teasing that went on between them, had a very close relationship. Charlie needed to know that Emmett supported him in this, and Emmett understood.
"Pops, if Suzanne makes you happy and you want to be with her, then by all means do whatever it takes to keep her in your life. If you love her, propose. The sooner the better."
Charlie nodded and breathed out a sigh of relief.
"Do you think she'll say yes?"
"Why wouldn't she?"
Charlie took a sip of his beer then and fixed his stare on something across the room. "You know she's a widow."
Emmett and I looked at each other in surprise.
"Her husband was in the military, got killed in a training exercise years ago."
"Wow," Emmett muttered with a frown before looking his Dad in the eye again. "Well then, that settles it. You two are perfect for each other. What are you waiting for Pops?"
"It's been a little busy lately Emmett." Charlie huffed.
Emmett laughed at his father's defensive tone. "Ask her." He grinned. "Do you think you'll live in your house after the wedding?"
Charlie's face lit up at the question.
He's got it bad
"I would suppose so. Suzanne's got a house, but it's smaller than mine, and besides, mine's paid for." Charlie frowned as he thought. "She's got a lot of furniture though. I guess we'll have to get rid of some stuff when we combine houses."
"I can take some of the furniture from my old bedroom, if that helps." Emmett suggested. "We have a lot of room in the new house. And Bella could do the same with hers."
Charlie seemed to remember something then. He averted his eyes so that he was staring at his sandwich and his face turned a little red.
Is he blushing?
I swore I heard him mutter under his breath, "Definitely need to replace that old squeaky bed."
"Huh?" Emmett asked.
"Uh, nothing." Charlie practically whispered before downing the remainder of his beer.
Oh fuck.
He heard.
He most definitely heard.
I am never sharing this information with Bella.
-LRM-
'Edward Masen would do well to keep a closer eye on his wife, or she may be whisked away by her new 'friend' Shane Benedict. Shane, aside from being a consultant on Edward's current film 'Enemy Combatant', is actually the author of the novel the movie is based upon.'
'Shane has been seen numerous times with Edward's wife Bella, and they've become 'very close'. Ironically, it was Edward who introduced them.'
I wasn't sure why I tortured myself this way. Reading the gossip sites was never conducive to me having a productive day.
All they managed to do was piss me off, and make everyone want to stay away from me. I always managed to pull it together before getting home to Bella though, so she was none the wiser about my mood swings.
At least, that was my hope.
On Friday I tried my best to not to give in to my bad mood. The dreary day was working against me, but the fact that once I got home tonight I had the entire weekend off was keeping me from being an asshole to everyone.
"Cut," Clint shouted. "Great take people." He continued as he motioned me over.
"Edward, I won't need you back until about eight tonight, so if you wanted to go home and have dinner with Bella, feel free."
"That's great." I told him with a broad smile. "Thanks."
My day had suddenly taken a turn for the better.
I stopped by my trailer to get my stuff, and immediately booked it to the car. As Sidney drove, I checked my phone and found a text from Bella. It said she'd be gone for the afternoon, but I took a chance and phoned her.
When it went to voicemail, I tried to hide the concern in my voice as I left a message,
"Baby, where are you? I know you said you'd be out, but I need to speak with you. Call me back when you get this."
I tried to relax, expecting her response at any moment. When thirty minutes passed and I still hadn't heard from my wife, I began to rack my brain, trying to think of where she could possibly be.
Why the hell wouldn't she be able to answer her phone?
I called again. "Sweetheart, I am a little concerned that you haven't called me back. I may as well tell you that I'm on my way to the house. Clint doesn't need me back on set until tonight, so I thought I'd surprise you. Come home as soon as you can, or I can meet you somewhere. Love you."
Maybe her phone is dead. I suddenly remembered that Lou would have driven her wherever she went, so I phoned him.
"Hey Edward."
"Hi Lou," I rushed out the words. "I'm looking for Bella; can you tell me where she is?"
"Um, Edward, I haven't seen Bella today. She told me she'd call if she needed me. I haven't heard a word."
"Shit," I muttered. "I don't know where she is, and she's not answering her phone."
"Oh man, what do you need me to do?" He sounded worried too. We all remembered what happened the last time no one could reach Bella.
"Just sit tight, I'm going to try her again and then I'll call around. She may be with one of the family."
"Okay Edward, keep me posted."
"Thanks Lou."
I dialed Bella once more. I was so worried that I didn't have a chance to be pissed that she went out by herself. "Bella, I just spoke with Lou. I can't believe you went out alone, and aren't answering your phone. Where are you? I'm getting anxious sweetheart. Please call me."
A knot formed in my stomach as I remembered how it felt to see her in the hospital after the ranger had taken her.
Oh God
There had been no threats. No strange phone calls. No stalkers. The reasonable part of my brain tried to convince me.
I tried to keep the panic at bay, but it wasn't working.
Please, please, please
I didn't even know who I was begging. God?
By this time, we'd reached the house. I ran inside and was met with empty rooms. I realized then that I'd been holding out hope that she was there, and that she hadn't heard the phone.
I felt sick.
I dialed her again. "Bella, I'm freaking out here. If you get this, call me right away. Otherwise, I'm phoning every member of our family hoping you're with one of them. I'm losing my mind baby. I love you. Please call."
After watching the phone in my hand for five solid minutes, I let my panic take control. Someone had taken her. I just knew it.
Who to call first?
Rose
If Bella was spending the afternoon with someone from our family, Rose would be the most likely choice.
"Hi Edward," She answered in a cheerful voice.
"Hi Rose, have you seen Bella? I'm terribly worried that something is wrong…"
"Didn't she call you?"
"Yes, she said she'd be out for the afternoon."
"Yeah, I think the movie marathon will be over shortly. I know that she's going straight home afterward."
"A movie marathon?"
"Yes," I heard Rose draw a breath. "She didn't tell you?"
"No, but that explains her turning the phone off. Although I wish she'd put it on 'silent'. I'm not happy that she went to the movies alone though. God, doesn't she realize that it's not safe. I'm going to have to speak with her about that. What theater was it; maybe we can pick her up."
I was only slightly relieved at the prospect that she'd gone to the movies, and hadn't been abducted. It could still happen.
"Um, Edward, she's not alone," Rose answered back in a small voice.
"Who's with her?" I asked automatically. Expecting the answer to be one of Bella's friends from school.
"Shane," Rose said quietly.
"What the fuck?" I asked incredulously.
"Edward, don't be angry, he phoned and invited her. She knew you'd be working late."
"Oh that makes me feel so much better," I spat out. "The fact is that I had a few hours off and rode all the way home to surprise my wife only to find out that she didn't miss me because she was spending the afternoon in the company of another man."
"Shit, Edward, it wasn't like that."
"Thanks for the information Rose. See you later." I ended the call abruptly. I didn't want to take my anger out on her.
Shane
Motherfucking Shane Benedict
I have been losing my mind for the better part of the afternoon and evening, and it's Shane Benedict's fault.
Fuck this.
I decided not to hang around my house. Who knew how long Bella and Shane would be out enjoying themselves.
Maybe she'd invite him back to the house, knowing that I'd be gone.
Fuck
I ran my hands through my hair.
I knew better.
Bella wasn't like that.
We had almost arrived back in Olympia when my phone rang.
Bella
"Where are you?" I asked in a calm voice while trying my hardest to keep the anger at bay.
"I'm on my way home. Listen Edward, I've been in a movie theater for hours, that's why my phone wasn't on. I'm so sorry..."
"I'm well aware of where you've been Bella, and with whom you chose to spend your day. Rose told me. I wish you had been the one to relay that information, but no matter." I failed at holding the angry tone out of my voice. "Do you have any fucking idea how worried I was? Call me crazy Bella, but it wasn't that long ago that you were kidnapped by a lunatic asshole who planned to kill you. I tend to lose my mind when I can't get in touch with you." I was tugging at my hair like a madman as I spat out the words.
I noticed Sidney eyeing me cautiously in the rearview mirror.
"I'm sorry," she said in almost a whisper.
That didn't stop me from continuing.
"Are you? Because from where I sit it doesn't seem that way. I can't imagine treating someone I love in such a callous manner. And then to find out that you were with Shane. I honestly don't know what the hell to think anymore."
"Edward, what are you saying?"
I drew in a breath, angry with myself for letting this nonsense with Shane go on for so long, but angrier with Shane for making an obvious play for my wife. "I'm just angry Bella. We probably shouldn't be having this conversation until I've had a chance to cool down. Do me a favor and as soon as you get home, lock yourself in the damned house." I growled. I knew I was being a jerk. "I never thought I'd miss the day when you were afraid of your own shadow. At least you wouldn't be spending hours in a darkened movie theater with a virtual fucking stranger."
There was dead silence from the other end of the line. I knew I needed to end the call.
"Listen," I started in a quieter tone, "I've got to go; we just arrived back at the set. I'll see you in a few hours." I took another breath. "Goodbye Bella, I love you…" it was then I realized that she'd hung up.
She didn't even say goodbye
Can you really blame her?
Fuck
What the hell have I done?
When I was through with costume and makeup, and had sufficiently calmed enough that I knew I wouldn't lose my temper again, I dialed Bella's number.
Not surprisingly, it went to voicemail, I chose not to leave a message. I needed to apologize in person.
About five minutes later I received a text.
I'm home. Going to sleep now.
Short and sweet.
That was when I knew how much I'd hurt her.
Somehow I got through the next few hours without thinking about what a dick I'd been. As soon as we were riding back toward Bainbridge Island however, I let my feelings of guilt wash over me.
I'd said some horrible things to the person I loved most in this world.
How was I even going to apologize for my behavior? I pulled out the bottle of liquor I'd brought from my trailer and took a swig. The burn felt good and helped to numb my feelings of guilt.
I knew I needed to apologize, but I also wanted Bella to know that, even though I trust her implicitly, I didn't trust Shane.
If I'd only said something sooner, none of this would have happened.
When I arrived home, I went straight to our room. To my horror, Bella wasn't anywhere to be found. I ran back downstairs, ready to phone Rose to see if she had gone over there, when I heard my beautiful girl scream.
I found her in her small study, obviously having just had a nightmare. I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her small shaking frame.
She screamed again while trying to push me away, obviously not quite awake yet. I held her tightly to my chest, "Baby, it's me. You were having a nightmare."
She seemed to relax in my arms then, for a moment, before I felt her body stiffen. She placed her hands on my chest and pushed me away.
Oh no
And then she said the words that almost stopped my heart. "Don't. Just don't."
*****A/N*****
A/N Okay, this covered chapters 78 and 79. The next and final chapter will cover chapters 80 and 81. Remember that the end scene in that final chapter will continue a bit further than it did in V&V to include the interaction with the family at the hospital. Should be sweet and fluffy.
***********************************LRM****************************************
*This next chapter parallels chapters 80 & 81 of V&V ('Time Warps & Slow Motion' and 'Blessed Events & One Little Year'). Please read those before attempting this.
A huge thank you to Caruso5 for her pre-reading/beta help on this chapter!
Enjoy!
********LRM*******
Chapter 80&81 – Everything I Never Knew I Wanted…
I tried to apologize, but Bella silenced me before having me follow her into the kitchen. My stomach was churning as I watched her move about the room; the liquor I'd been drinking in the car threatening to make a second appearance.When she offered me a cup of coffee, I accepted it merely to have something to hold onto. I looked up into her beautiful eyes and was rewarded with a small smile.
"If it's alright with you, I'd like to speak first." Bella began.
As much as I wanted to throw myself at her feet and apologize, I acquiesced to her wishes.
"Edward, first of all I need to tell you how much I regret my behavior from earlier today. I should have been honest with you in my message. I wasn't, and for that I am truly sorry."
I wanted to interrupt to tell her that she didn't need to apologize. I should have been the one apologizing for taking out my worry and frustration on her.
"I fooled myself into believing that the time I've been spending with Shane didn't bother you. I liked to think you trusted me, I've never given you reason not to, but deep down I knew that you were jealous."
This time I couldn't stop myself from interrupting. I did trust her.
Implicitly.
"Bella…"
She held up her hand. "Please let me finish."
I nodded, reluctantly.
"As much as we love each other, we can't deny that we've both been affected by our past experiences. I have been selfish and insensitive, doing what I wanted, without regard to how it might make you feel." She lifted her eyes to look at me again. "After what Meghan did to you in high school, I should have realized that my spending time with another man would bother you."
I sighed and shook my head; I would never in a million years compare the actions of my beautiful Bella to those of Meghan.
She whispered. "I also considered how I would feel if the tables were turned and you were spending time alone with a beautiful female friend. I had to admit that I didn't like the thought of that. It hurts enough when I have to watch your love scenes..."
My mind flashed back to her reaction after having witnessed the filming of the honeymoon scene in The Harvest of Avarice.
"Bella…" I began. I wanted to remind her that those scenes meant nothing, but she stopped me again.
"However, I won't apologize for my friendship with Shane, because that's all it is and all it will ever be. Edward, you are the only one I could ever love, the only man I want to have children with and spend forever with. You."
She reached over and placed her hand on my cheek. I leaned into her touch. It seemed like a lifetime since I'd felt it.
After a moment, she withdrew her hand and placed it back on the table. "And just so you know, Shane has been a perfect gentleman. He has not made me feel uncomfortable in any way. He's a really nice guy, but I decided tonight that I will no longer spend time with him on my own. Even if it didn't bother you, it's the right decision if for no other reason than the paps. We don't need to continue to fuel that fire."
I had to agree with her about that, so I nodded slowly.
No matter, I still felt like a douchebag.
"There's one more thing I want to discuss, but I'd like to give you a chance to speak first."
I let out a gust of air. "Bella, I was so scared tonight. When I couldn't reach you and I knew you weren't with Lou, I panicked. I don't think I've been that frightened since the night the ranger took you…" I was pulling at my hair as I thought about the wreck I'd been this afternoon. It was no excuse, but I needed her to understand, just a little. "I kept remembering you in that hospital bed bruised and unconscious. I couldn't handle it if something happened to you…" I choked up, the emotions and my fatigue finally taking their toll. "Then when Rose told me where you were and that you were with Shane, I snapped. I'd imagined the worst, only to find out that you were off enjoying yourself with another man. I was relieved, but I was also angry and irrational, and I'm so sorry for yelling at you baby. There is no excuse for my behavior. Please, please say you'll forgive me." I begged as I pulled her hand into mine.
Bella looked remorseful again. "There's nothing to forgive. I deserved your anger Edward. As I explained..."
No, no, no!
I shook my head. "How can you say that? Of course you didn't deserve that. No one deserves that, especially not you."
Bella drew in a breath and shook her own head in response, "Stop doing that."
Huh?
"Stop giving me a pass when I screw up. You had every right to be angry with me, plain and simple. But from now on, I want you to be honest about your feelings Edward. Please don't hold back if something I'm doing bothers you. Okay?"
I nodded because I'd already decided earlier that if I'd been honest about Shane, all of this could have been avoided.
"I tried to ignore the way I felt when you were with Shane. It didn't really bother me until you spent that afternoon with him in the coffee shop." I lightly touched her arm. "I do trust you Bella. I'm not sure that I trust him, but I'll always trust you. Please don't doubt that, no matter how much of an asshole I am."
She nodded and looked away from me. There was obviously something else bothering her.
I watched as she wrapped her hands around her coffee mug, and wished those hands were touching me. She was quiet for a long moment before she spoke, "I was angry with you tonight as well. When you said that you missed the girl who was afraid of her own shadow, it gutted me Edward."
I gasped when I remembered those words leaving my lips. "Shit," I muttered as I closed my eyes.
I was utterly ashamed of myself.
I opened my eyes and reached for her. "Please Bella, I didn't mean it..."
Thank God she let me touch her. I didn't know what I'd have done if she'd pushed me away again. "Edward, I need you to understand that I have no intention of ever being that frightened little girl again. As long as nothing unforeseen happens, I don't think I could ever be that girl again," She looked down at her lap as she continued. "You have no idea how much I hated being weak and broken; everyone feeling the need to constantly protect me."
I am such a fucking asshole
"Maybe that's why I rebel against having Lou with me every time I go out. That is selfish of me, and I'm sorry. I promise to keep him with me more often in the future." She sighed. "I just needed you to know how much your words hurt." She sniffled then.
She was crying.
She was crying, and it was my fault.
I immediately pulled her onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her. She cried into my chest for a moment as I felt the lump in my throat return.
"Bella," I said in a broken whisper. "I am so sorry. Please believe me. I didn't mean it. I could kick my own ass for being so heartless." I buried my face in her hair and breathed her in. She was the best thing in my life, and I'd behaved abominably toward her.
I had to make this right.
"I love my strong, beautiful girl. It was such a fucked up thing to say. You are everything to me baby."
"I feel the same way about you." She whispered.
We sat there as I held her in my arms, grateful for her forgiveness.
After a few moments, Bella pulled back to look at my face. I was certain that I looked like hell. It had been a long day.
"Let's go to bed," She whispered.
After a quick shower, I climbed into bed and pulled her into my arms.
"I think we just had our first fight as a married couple," she whispered.
Relief washed over me at the sound of her chuckle, and I couldn't contain the small laugh that escaped. "Maybe we are normal after all?"
"Yeah right, dream on Mister Movie Star. I don't think we'll ever fit the definition of normal."
We both laughed at that.
"You do know what the best part about having a fight is, don't you?" She said as she peeked up at me.
I smirked, my mind immediately descending to the gutter, "Please tell me you're going to say makeup sex?"
I felt my dick twitch when she grinned back at me. "Yes, well, at least that's what I heard normal couples do…"
"Well… in our quest for normalcy, I think we should at least give it a try."
"I'm game if you are Mr. Cullen."
Oh baby, your request, my command.
Needing no other encouragement, I rolled her over so that I could trap her beneath me. I cut off her laughter with a kiss, vowing to myself that I'd never hurt her again.
She pulled away to speak, "Wait, do we still have to be mad at each other?"
"I don't think so. Are you still mad?"
"No, I'm not. Are you?"
"No baby, of course not." I leaned down to kiss her again. "Well, maybe a little mad at myself, but I'll get over it."
"Hmm," She murmured into my lips. "Ditto…"
I kissed her lips softly and then her cheek, her chin, all the while thinking of how, through my own jealousy and anger, I could have lost her. As I looked into her eyes, I could tell I was completely forgiven for my behavior. The question was would I ever forgive myself for causing her pain?
Doubtful.
All the anger I'd felt earlier had vanished, leaving behind an intense feeling of remorse. I would prove to her that I could be a better man; I owed it to her to show that I trusted her judgment.
"I love you baby." I whispered over and over. She returned the sentiment just as often, while I covered her soft skin with warm wet kisses.
As I kissed and caressed her body, enjoying the way she reacted to me; the way she always reacted to my touch, I felt the urgent need to be inside her. I had to feel her warmth surrounding me again; to be certain that we were okay.
I looked into her eyes and wordlessly asked permission before entering her slowly, wanting to make this moment last. My pace was slow and rhythmic until Bella's soft whispers urged me on. I obliged, but refrained from allowing my movements to become frantic. I wanted to truly make love to her and show her, without words how much she meant to me.
Never taking my eyes from hers, I watched as hers filled with tears just before she climaxed and I followed a moment later. I kissed the tears away one by one, still inside her, never wanting to be anywhere else.
-LRM—
"Hey Shane if you don't have plans, how about having lunch with me?" I registered the shocked expression on Shane's face at my request, and realized exactly how much of a dick I'd been to him.
"Sure Edward," he said with a little hesitation.
"First of all, I owe you an apology Shane," I said as we ate. "I've been kind of a jealous asshole where you and Bella are concerned."
Shane sighed and raised his eyebrows.
"I know I've never said anything to you, but I blew up at Bella after you two went to the movies. I shouldn't have, and I apologized." I continued. "In my defense, I believed you were making a play for her."
Shane surprised me then by laughing quietly. "You should be worried Edward."
My eyes opened wide in surprised.
"Not about me," Shane added quickly with a grin. "Bella's a smart, attractive woman, and men tend to notice that. If I was ready to have a relationship right now she'd be exactly the kind of woman I'd hope to find."
I tensed, feeling my anger begin to rise.
Why the hell is he telling me this?
"But the fact is that I'm not looking for a relationship right now, and even if I was I wouldn't want to have one with another man's wife." He said with a grin. "Like I'd even stand a chance…" He added with a chuckle. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but your wife is head over heels for you man. She mentions you in every conversation, I'm not sure she even knows that she's doing it. She's that closely tied to you, even when you're miles apart."
I smiled to myself and relaxed. It was the same for me. Even when we weren't together, Bella was always there, in the forefront of my thoughts.
I got to know Shane a lot better that afternoon, and realized he was everything Bella had said he was. I had to admit that I still didn't want my wife spending an afternoon with him or any man in a darkened movie theater, but Shane was alright. He could be a good friend both to Bella and to me.
-LRM-
"Nice tights," I told Emmett when he lumbered past me in his King Henry costume.
Instead of reacting as most men would to my teasing, Emmett grinned. "It's not the tights Eddie boy, it's my fuckawesome legs, but thanks anyway," he answered as he slapped me on the back. "Speaking of legs," he said as he let out a low whistle. "Chris, my man! You wear the Glen or Glenda very well son. I mean, damn, you'd put most transvestites to shame," he boomed as he gave Chris the once-over.
Chris laughed. "Hmm thank you, I think, big guy. You look pretty good yourself," he smirked. "But, sadly, I can't take all the credit for this," Chris said as he gestured toward his body, "I was blessed with good genetics and, under this sweater; I'm wearing the best set of fake knockers money can buy."
Everyone in the room laughed, but Chris never lost a beat, "I think I'll go see what the ladies are up to," he sang as he made for the stairs. "See you in a few, hot bods."
I was dying to see Bella, and when she followed Chris into the room a few minutes later, she didn't disappoint. Not that she ever could.
Fuck me
She makes one sexy pirate
I wanted to laugh when I realized that she was staring at me just as hard as I was staring at her.
"Like what you see Mrs. Cullen?" I teased.
She nodded. "You look just like my dream."
I chuckled and pulled her against me. Damned if she wasn't carrying a pistol. I didn't understand why, but ever since I'd discovered that she could shoot, the image of Bella firing a gun had invaded my fantasies.
Bella firing a gun while wearing her pirate costume…
Bella firing a gun while wearing lingerie…
Bella firing a gun while wearing nothing…
Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner…
We spent the rest of the evening enjoying the company of friends I hadn't seen in quite a while, but I remained mindful of the time, anxious to escape upstairs with my girl.
While Bella chatted with Rose and Emmett, I went to the bar to fix her a drink. On the way there, I was accosted by the wife of someone I knew in high school. She attempted to flirt, but I brushed her off with a smile and continued on my way.
"Hello Edward," a vaguely familiar voice sounded from beside me. I turned to find Jennie, an old friend of Alice's, grinning at me. When we were in school, Alice idolized Jennie; probably because she was a couple of years older, beautiful, fashionable, and a magnet for every popular guy.
I admit there was even a time when I had a crush on her. I was thirteen and didn't stand a chance, but had definite fantasies just like every other guy in my class.
She did what any sixteen year old girl would have done; she ignored me.
"It's been a long time," she remarked quietly.
"Yes it has," I answered as my eyes glanced back across the room, finding my girl laughing; no doubt at something her brother had said. I smiled as I watched her so carefree and happy.
"It's funny," Jennie drew my attention away from Bella for a moment.
"Hmm?"
"You're very different from the Edward I used to know."
I raised my eyebrows. "I guess I am. I'm no longer a teenager." I smirked.
She laughed. "Touché. No, I mean you were always very serious. Even when I used to see you interviewed on television, you didn't smile often. Now, you're rarely without one. What happened?"
I shrugged and answered in one simple word, "Bella."
Jennie pursed her lips and studied me for a moment. "Yes, I guess I can see that." She chuckled then. "And to think, I came over to see if you were interested in getting reacquainted," she murmured suggestively as her fingertips touched my arm.
After pulling my arm away, I blinked to clear my head.
Is she coming on to me?
I opened my mouth to answer, but Jennie cut me off.
"We've all heard the rumors you know, that no one in Hollywood is faithful. But Bella seems nice, and now that I think about it, I'd hate to be the one to mess up what you two have. Maybe someday…"
This time I was the one to cut her off. "Jennie, are you joking right now? I mean please tell me that someone put you up to this, because you can't be serious."
"I, uh…" Jennie looked confused.
I narrowed my eyes. "Jennie, I had a crush on you when I was like, thirteen. And now, twelve years later you think I'd actually be interested in acting on that."
Jennie frowned.
"First of all, Alice will be very displeased if she finds out what you just said." Jennie's eyes opened wide. "Also, in case you're seriously thinking that you'd ever have a chance with me, let me be clear, I love Bella in a way that very few understand. She's my everything." I answered frankly. "And just for the record, in order for you to mess that up, I'd have to actually be interested. I'm not. Have a good evening." I turned on my heel and made my way back over to my girl.
The rest of the party was spent in pleasant conversation with friends and family. The look of delight on Bella's face at Shane's arrival told me I'd done the right thing by inviting him.
The only downside to the evening was finding out that reporters had been digging into my past. I made a mental note to have Jasper look into it.
-LRM—
"Edward, Bella, I'd like you to meet my brother Ethan," Shane said gesturing toward the smiling man to his right.
We were in New Orleans for the next leg of the shoot, and were having dinner with Shane and his brother.
Ethan was a very nice guy. He was one of those eternally cheerful people that you couldn't help but like as soon as you met them.
"So Ethan, what do you do?" I asked.
For the first time all evening, Ethan looked serious. "I'm a hospital social worker."
Ethan laughed when he took in both Bella's and my shocked expressions. "I know; it always surprises people when I tell them that. I've been told more than once that I look like a 'sportscaster' whatever that's supposed to mean." He continued to chuckle, and we laughed with him. He shrugged. "I like working with people, especially people who aren't in the best of circumstances. I want to make a difference you know?"
"Oh yes, I completely understand that." I told him as Bella nodded her head.
"I used to work closer to Shane but relocated to New Orleans when one of our sister hospitals had an opening. I love it here."
Later that week, while Bella and Shane were having lunch together on set, any reservations I still held about him being friends with my wife were completely dispelled. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but they were so intent on their conversation that they never heard me approach.
Shane told Bella in detail about the way his family and Shane's ex-girlfriend had treated Ethan after he'd revealed he was gay. It was appalling, and my respect for Shane grew ten-fold that day.
-LRM-
As it turned out, Jasper never had a chance to find out who had been trying to interview my former school mates before excerpts of interviews began to be leaked to the public.
Victor Fucking James
I wasn't surprised.
"Edward, don't worry too much about this," Jasper, knowing how I could be, tried to calm me. "Everything I've heard makes you out to be the good guy in all of this."
"I don't care, call Kyle and get him to do something about this shit." I barked into the phone before ending the call.
'I know for a fact that Edward never laid a hand on her. She told him that she wasn't ready to have a physical relationship. Being the decent guy he was, he respected that. We found out later that the entire time she was supposedly dating Edward, *beep* was seeing some older guy behind his back.'
I cringed, as I thought back to the interview I'd watched earlier in my trailer. The words brought back painful memories that made my stomach churn.
Thank God we're almost finished with this scene.
"Damn it," I muttered before texting Bella.
B-
The attorneys are already on it. Wish you were here. Really fucking need you
-E
I practically threw my phone at Alec before walking over to continue filming.
After the scene, I stalked to my trailer. Everyone knew to give me a wide berth.
When I opened the door, I was greeted with the welcome sight of my beautiful Bella waiting for me. She pulled me into her arms and I relaxed for the first time all day. "How do you do that?" I asked her.
"What?"
"I was so fucking angry Bella, but then I saw you. With one touch, you were able to calm me."
"You need to be calm and rational Edward. It's the only way to get through this. Victor James would like nothing more than for you to lose your temper in public."
I nodded before pulling back and looking at her face. "Are you okay?"
"Of course." She said softly. "However, I am worried about you. I know you never wanted any of this made public."
I nodded.
"But knowing you as I do, that part probably doesn't bother you as much as having to relive the hell you went through." She stroked my cheek as she spoke.
She knew me well.
"Yeah, I don't give a shit who knows what happened. I'm innocent of any wrongdoing, and if James tries to imply otherwise I'll haul his ass to court."
"The past is over and done, and I'm happy now. I just want to be free to turn on the damned television and not have to hear a painful incident from my past discussed as if they were rehashing the football scores from the night before." I said bitterly. "Bella, I hate the fact that there are people like Victor James out there; people with boundless ambition, but no heart or soul to go along with it. He will not be satisfied until he has exposed every secret, every misstep and every embarrassment from my past. If the record of my arrest is made public, there will be some who will believe the worst."
"Edward, those people were the ones who never liked you in the first place. Don't you see? Mark my words; this will backfire on Victor James. The public will be on your side. You were a seventeen year old victim of a deceitful girl and an inept police department."
And there it was… Bella had a way of getting to the heart of the matter and making me feel better instantly. We didn't emerge from the trailer for a while as I made sure to thank her properly for her visit.
-LRM—
All the press attention, good or bad, was grating on my nerves. Bella somehow got me through it, and by Thanksgiving I was feeling almost normal again.
We flew home for the holiday, having exactly two days to spend with the family before we were back on a plane headed for Washington D.C. and the next leg of filming.
"Get these people out of here!" I heard Clint shouting as I looked around.
Why the hell am I lying on the ground?
One minute I was standing on the curb preparing to film the scene, and the next I was flat on my back in the street. And then I remembered the car hitting me.
I must have blacked out for a minute.
Before I had a chance to speak, an EMT was shining a light in my eyes.
"Mr. Masen, are you in pain?"
I thought about that, and nodded, my arm was burning like a son of a bitch. I tried to move in order to look at it but the EMT stopped me.
After they checked me over, they tried to load me onto a gurney, but I was having none of that. I stood and walked, with some assistance to the ambulance. I felt like I'd been beaten up, but nothing seemed broken.
-LRM-
"Sorry you were frightened today baby," I murmured against Bella's hair as we were falling asleep.
"Frightened can't begin to describe how I felt," she said with a catch in her voice. "The thought of you being badly injured or worse…" she ended in a whisper. "I don't want to talk about it Edward."
I nodded and kissed the top of her head before I eventually felt her relax. I soon found myself drifting off to sleep as well.
I was woken to the sound of Bella's sobs. Startled, I reached for her and pulled her against me.
"Bella baby wake up. It's okay, everything's okay."
When she finally opened her eyes, she looked confused.
"Baby, you had a nightmare." She seemed to relax at my words, but the sad expression remained on her face. Suddenly she pulled me to her and buried her face in my neck as she began to sob again.
I frantically tried to think of a way to help…
"You're really here?" she asked in a whimper.
"Of course I am, please don't cry." I choked out.
"I dreamt you died," she told me as sobs wracked her tiny body.
Fuck
I tightened my arms around her. "I'm not going anywhere Bella."
"You can't promise that," she said as she continued to sob in my arms. "No one can promise that. My Mother couldn't. Charlie can't, and you can't."
My poor girl…
"Baby, you're having a reaction to the accident today. You were frightened and now your subconscious is working overtime." I stroked her hair as I spoke.
"I couldn't bear it if I lost you," She whispered. "You are what matters to me most in this world Edward. For those few moments, when the possibility of losing you became very real in my mind, it brought everything into sharp focus. I couldn't survive it; you have to promise to be more careful."
I knew all too well what she was feeling, as the memories of that horrific night when she'd been taken by the ranger replayed in my mind. The cold pang of dread I'd experienced when I'd feared she was gone forever…
I suppressed the urge to shudder as I nodded my understanding.
Bella reached up to trace the side of my face with her fingertips as we lay facing each other. "Kiss me," she whispered.
I leaned in and slowly brushed my lips against hers. Soon, chaste kisses turned passionate, and innocent touches became caresses until we were wrapped around each other, making love as the worries about what 'could have been' melted away…
Bella's soft touch and her breathy sighs pushed the memories of that horrible night, when I'd almost lost her, further and further from my memory until all I could feel or think about was the warm wet heat of her body and the whispered 'I love yous' in my ear.
I was home.
-LRM-
The next morning, I left Bella sleeping before heading to the set.
"You are a stubborn man Edward," Clint greeted me with a smile and a handshake.
I shrugged. "I have a job to do."
"Your health is more important," he admonished. "But I'm glad to see you're okay."
"Never better," I answered as the memory of making love to my beautiful wife the night before came immediately to mind.
The morning passed slowly, the highlight of it being a text I received from Bella. When I texted back and hinted that I'd love her to drop by, I was surprised when she never showed.
Due to the fact that filming ran a little long, I returned to our suite later than usual, only to find Bella fast asleep.
"Bella, sorry I'm a little late," I said as I rubbed her back through the material of her robe. She turned and looked up at me with bleary eyes.
"I was going to visit you," she mumbled.
"Baby, are you alright? It's not like you to fall asleep this early."
"I ache all over. And I'm cold." She said with a shiver.
After covering her with the duvet, I felt her forehead. "You're burning up," I told her. "Have you had anything to eat or drink today?"
"Um, some juice and yogurt this morning." She whispered.
"Bella, it's seven o'clock in the evening." I said before leaving the room.
Shit, shit, shit
I mentally kicked myself.
I should have phoned to make sure she was okay when she never showed up on set.
After she downed the Tylenol I gave her, I excused myself from the bedroom in order to phone my Father.
"Hello son. Everything alright?" Dad asked, knowing it was unusual for me to call him at work. "You're not having any ill-effects from your accident yesterday are you?"
"No Dad, nothing like that," I assured. "It's Bella; I got back from the set and found her in bed. She's burning up, but can't seem to stop shivering."
"Is she complaining of aches and pains?" he asked.
"Yeah," I answered. "I don't understand, she was fine last night and was asleep when I left this morning."
"She may have the flu Edward," Dad informed. "Sudden onset is one of the symptoms. She should see a doctor."
"Okay, thanks Dad. I'll get right on that." I tried not to panic as I phoned Alec and directed him to contact the doctor we used on set. I would need him to pay a house call.
He phoned back to say the doctor was on his way.
When I reentered the bedroom, I found her resting back against the pillows. After telling her that Dad thought she had the flu, I crawled in beside her, holding her in my arms until the doctor arrived.
"Here baby, I've made you some tea."
"Thank you," Bella answered with a small smile. She seemed to study me as she sipped.
"What?"
"You were kind of abrupt with the poor doctor."
I shrugged. "Yeah I know, but where you're concerned, I get a little impatient. I wanted to make sure he did everything possible to make you well."
She patted my hand. "I appreciate that."
After she finished the tea, I made her slide under the covers. "You need to rest as much as possible. Sleep sweetheart."
Once she was out, I slipped quietly from the room and pulled out my phone. "Hi Edward," Clint answered on the second ring.
"Hey Clint, do you really need me on set tomorrow?"
He immediately sounded concerned. "Are you okay? I knew you should have taken the day off after the accident…"
"No, actually I feel fine. It's Bella. She has the flu and being in a strange town with no family around to help… I don't feel comfortable leaving her."
"Of course not." Clint answered. "Listen Edward, we've padded the shooting schedule with a couple of extra days, for weather and such. I'll notify everyone that they've got the day off."
"Thanks Clint, I appreciate that."
"Sure thing. Now go take care of your wife."
That's exactly what I did for the next twenty-four hours or so.
She slept a lot the next day, and with alternating doses of Tylenol and Advil, we were able to keep her fever down. I discovered that the best part about caring for Bella while she was sick was getting to listen to her sleep-talking.
"I need to write," she whispered. I looked down at her face as I sat beside her on the bed, ready to argue until I realized she was still asleep. I brushed my hand across her cheek. Her temperature felt normal.
"Almost done… but Rose keeps hiding my underwear…" she frowned adorably as she spoke.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "I wanna be a mermaid," she whispered and then smiled a contented smile.
Well at least she's not dreaming about sex. That would drive me crazy…
"Edward," she whispered before moaning. "Mmmm. Right there."
Fuck… she is dreaming about sex…
At that realization, my cock sprang immediately to life.
"Mmm, again Edward," she mumbled before sighing deeply, "mmm."
Fuck my life
When I exited the bathroom after my cold shower, I found Bella awake and smiling at me.
Yeah, easy for her… at least she was able to have sex, even if it was only in a dream.
I gave her my biggest smile as I inwardly chuckled at myself. "Hey baby, how are you feeling?"
Bella stretched. "A little better."
It was with great reluctance that I returned to work the next day, but it couldn't be helped. I'd signed a contract and, aside from that, Bella wasn't about to allow me to stay with her two days in a row.
By the time we'd finished in D.C., and were headed to New York, she seemed almost back to normal.
-LRM-
"So Edward, you just finished principal photography for 'Enemy Combatant' and here you are for the premiere of 'The Harvest of Avarice', how are you holding up with the busy schedule?"
I was walking the red carpet at the New York premiere of The Harvest of Avarice. The studio had gone all out, decorating the front of the theater to look like a troop transport during World War II, and the red carpet to appear as part of the 'gangplank'.
"It's definitely been an extremely busy few weeks, or even months, but I'm doing well."
"I guess it helps that Bella's with you?"
I smiled even wider, thinking about my girl safely sequestered inside the theater with my sister and Jazz.
"It makes all the difference in the world to have her with me every day."
I realized that I sounded like a lovesick fool, but that's exactly what I was.
"Without giving too much away, I've got to tell you that my heart was breaking for your character during most of the film. And then that ending…"
I nodded knowingly.
"Yeah, it was a very emotional part to play as well. The entire film, in a way, points out that the hardships and setbacks my character endured were precisely why he became the sort of man who was able to make the sacrifices that he did."
"I've just gotta say that at the screening I attended, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. I think we may be seeing you at the Oscars Mister Masen."
I smiled gratefully.
"Thanks very much."
-LRM-
Because of the fact that I was always uncomfortable watching myself in movies, and also that I'd already seen this one; I spent the two hours watching Bella's face while she watched the film.
I had to suppress my laughter when she narrowed her eyes and glared at the screen during my love scenes with Rachel. And then when her sniffles turned into sobs, I pulled her close and kissed her head.
-LRM—
As I waited backstage for my cue, I watched Justin and Kenan walk out of the front doors of a fake office, supposedly in L.A. Justin was continuing a conversation on his cell phone which he'd evidently begun while still inside.
"Definitely, let's set something up. Have your people call my people." He directed into his cell while flashing a fake smile. As soon as he ended the pretend phone call he scowled while muttering under his breath. "Ass."
Kenan, portraying his bodyguard, turned toward him. "I'll get the car Mister Masen."
I was making my promised appearance on Saturday Night Live with guest host Justin Timberlake. The skit required Justin to portray me, while I got to play an exaggerated, or not, version of one of my fans.
Looking at Justin, I wasn't sure if I should be insulted or not.
Is that really how my hair looks?
The color of Justin's wig was close to my own hair color, but he literally looked as if he'd just rolled out of bed, or possibly been electrocuted.
Justin nodded and started to sing quietly to himself as he waited for Kenan to return. Unfortunately, the song he sang was the 'Masen Rap'.
Who was in the car they found?
Who? Who? Who? Who?
Who was in the car they found?
Who? Who? Who? Who?
Justin sang softly as the audience snickered. Fucker had the nerve to grin and wink at me where I waited backstage. I wanted to groan in disgust, but I had a part to play, so I merely flipped him the bird before getting into character and bounding onstage.
"Mister Masen, I'm like your biggest fan. Like, I've watched all your movies and have a shrine in my house dedicated to your penis." Justin struggled to keep a straight face as I delivered my lines in my most effeminate voice.
"Could I have your autograph please, pretty please," I begged as I batted my fake eyelashes in his direction. The audience sounded their approval with hoots of laughter and a round of applause. "I'll do anything." I said suggestively as I placed my hand on his chest.
Justin just stared and blinked.
I flipped the long blonde hair of my wig over my shoulders as I sighed.
At that moment other cast members, also portraying Masen 'fans' began to crowd around us. One pushed her fake baby in Justin's face. "Mister Masen, sign my baby, sign my baby."
"My cast! Sign my cast!" Another one shouted as she shoved her fake arm cast in his face.
"My photo!"
"My magazine!"
"My panties!"
The shouts continued as more and more cast members pressed against us.
"My pussy! My pussy!" Andy shouted, bringing a shocked silence to the studio audience before he smirked and pulled a cat from under his I 'heart' Edward Masen t-shirt.
"What?" Andy deadpanned. "What did you think I was talking about?"
The audience laughed, but all I could think about was the fact that Andy made one scary looking fan girl.
"Okay, okay," I barked, still in character as I placed my hands on my hips. "Like, I was here first and was just about to have Mister Masen sign my ta-ta's before you bitches butted in."
The audience howled in laughter as I ripped open my 'fan girl' t-shirt to display a freakishly large set of fake breasts. The NBC censors, afraid of allowing us to go too far, had required that each fake nipple be covered by a pasty and a purple tassel.
"Oops! Wardrobe malfunction," I announced with a smirk. "My bad."
Justin, not able to hold it in any more, dissolved in laughter, if it hadn't been for Andy the remainder of the skit would have been unsalvageable.
"I can't believe you agreed to do that, but I'm damned glad you did!" Jasper was still laughing when they all met me backstage.
"Don't be surprised if the next wave of scripts we receive are comedies,"
That would be a nice change of pace…
"I didn't know you had it in you, son." Jasper continued before he slapped me on the back.
-LRM-
The day we were due to fly to London, it was announced that The Harvest of Avarice had been nominated for several Golden Globes, one of which was a best actor nomination for yours truly. I was stunned. Even though I'd heard from a lot of people in the industry that it was likely, it was impossible for me to view my own work objectively so the nomination took me by surprise.
"Edward, I'm so proud of you" Bella said as we drank champagne and celebrated with Alice, Jazz and Chris.
After the London premiere, it was on to Berlin and then Paris. Bella was an absolute trooper, never complaining and always supportive, proving every day that she truly was my 'better half'.
I was a very fortunate man.
When we were finally headed back home to Seattle after what felt like an eternity away, the exhaustion hit us both like a freight train. I didn't even remember crawling into our bed before being awoken by Bella the next morning.
"Do you hear Christmas music?"
"Maybe," I answered, not wanting to open my eyes.
"Edward, someone is playing Christmas music downstairs." She persisted, and then I heard it too.
My eyes shot open and I lurched to get out of bed, tangling my feet in the covers so that the upper half of my body landed on the floor while my feel stayed in the bed.
How the fuck did I manage that?
Bella jumped out of bed and flew around to me. "Edward! Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," I said as I extricated myself from the comforter and stood. "What the hell is going on?" I pulled my sleep pants over my boxer briefs as Bella shrugged.
"But, on the other hand, how terrifying can they be if they're playing Christmas music?"
"Good point."
We argued for approximately one minute as to why/why not Bella should remain in our room while I went to investigate. I caved when she informed that no matter what I said, she was going with me. I knew there was no point trying to challenge her when she set her jaw in that 'don't fuck with me' attitude.
By the time we were halfway down the stairs, we heard the familiar voices of my mother and Alice.
Thank God… I didn't need one more ounce of excitement before Christmas.
"Hello sleepyheads!" Alice exclaimed as she came around the corner and found us.
"Alice, what's…?" I began.
"We're decorating your house for Christmas!" She sang.
"And baking cookies," Mom added as she appeared behind Alice. "Welcome home darlings!"
Bella and I were thrilled to have all of the family over to help. It was the best Christmas present they could have given us, and we told them so.
It would have been a perfect day, except for the fact that Bella was nervous and emotional. For the life of me, I couldn't work out why, but finally decided that it was probably due to exhaustion.
Maybe the thought of her upcoming book tour is causing her anxiety?
I vowed there and then to be as supportive of her as she had been of me during the past few months, and do everything within my power to make things easier for her.
When the dinner arrived, I looked around for Bella but couldn't find her anywhere. I went up to our bedroom and discovered her locked in the bathroom.
Immediately, I feared that she was sick.
"Bella," I called through the bathroom door. "Dinner has arrived. Aren't you hungry sweetheart?"
"Oh, yeah. Um, I'll be out in a minute," drifted the sound of her soft voice through the door.
I tried the knob. "Baby, are you okay?"
No response.
"Bella, please answer me," I hoped my panic didn't register in my tone.
"I'm fine Edward. Please don't worry darling. I'll be right out."
She sounded better that time, so I relaxed marginally. "Okay baby. I'm just going to wait out here."
When she finally emerged, other than looking a bit flushed, Bella seemed perfectly calm, much more at ease than she'd seemed all day.
After dinner, her agitation returned when we received a phone call from Shane letting us know that he and Ethan had decided to fly in a day early, which meant they'd be arriving that night. She seemed noticeably crestfallen at the news.
What the hell? I thought she liked Ethan and Shane.
Maybe she regrets inviting them now, after all this is our first Christmas together…
I didn't have too much time to ponder Bella's odd behavior because it wasn't long after that until Rose went into labor. Our house erupted into a frenzy, as everyone scrambled to get in their vehicles and head to the hospital.
Chief Swan insisted on driving Emmett and Rose. It was probably a good thing because Emmett seemed a little freaked out about the situation. I was surprised. For ages he'd talked about nothing except how he was looking forward to the day his son would arrive. Now that it was here, he looked a little green.
What the hell am I talking about?
If I was in Emmett's shoes, they'd probably have to administer oxygen.
Every female in our group, along with Chris, was in tears as we hugged Rose goodbye, while all the men tried to look strong for poor Emmett.
As we sat waiting, an uneasy prickle of fear worked its way into my conscious mind.
When the time comes for Bella and I to have a child, how will I be able to handle seeing her in pain?
I tried to push the thought away.
The next time I saw Emmett, it was to inform us that we'd be in for a long wait. He was a lot more relaxed that time.
I studied Bella's face as she hugged him and, even though she tried to hide it, I knew she was worried about Rose.
This business of having babies is damned stressful…
-LRM-
Chris and Alice kept us entertained for the most part as we waited, and when Shane and Ethan arrived, the atmosphere became even lighter.
As I'd secretly hoped, Chris hit it off with Ethan immediately.I just prayed that he never found out how my sister and wife had conspired for that meeting. I wasn't certain he'd approve.
Hold on, this is Chris you're talking about.
Have you forgotten that he's a bit of a nut?
Seriously, if he'd known about Shane's brother, he'd have dressed up as Ethan's favorite flavored Popsicle and been waiting to greet him at the airport.
Funny Cullen.
I thought so.
The mood turned almost festive, and I realized that we were being a little too boisterous when Dad decided to find us a private waiting room.
I wish he'd thought of that sooner.
As I mused, the most unwelcome sound I could imagine assaulted my ears: the simpering snarl of one, Victor James.
"Well, well, well, isn't this cozy? If I had known the whole clan was here awaiting the birth of the little shitmaker, I'd have brought a bigger camera crew."
Motherfucker
I turned to find him smirking at us.
"Get the hell out of here James; I don't want you anywhere near my family." I spat.
Victor shrugged casually. "It's a free country Masen or do you go by Cullen." He shook his head. "It's so confusing. It's true that I can't film inside without permission, but I'm allowed to be here as much as you are."
Is this asshole following us now?
"Why are you here?" I snapped, trying to control the urge to cross the room and rip his fucking head from his shoulders.
"Evidently, when the host of a local entertainment show goes into labor it's considered newsworthy. At first I thought it a waste of my time to cover this, but now, I'm thrilled about it." He sneered.
"Just go away before I finish what I started a few months ago," I said through clenched teeth.
Victor laughed. "I'm not afraid of you. But I do have a question for your pretty little wife, and then I'll be on my way."
I was out of my chair in a flash, and moving to stand in front of him. "Get the hell out of here."
There would be no questions for Bella. I felt rather than saw Jasper and his Dad approach and position themselves on either side of me.
Victor smirked. "Take it easy champ; I just know how women love this having babies shit, and I wanted to give Bella my condolences, 'cause after the number your little girlfriend did on you in high school, I'm pretty sure that you're not able to 'get it up'. So, consequently, our poor little Bella won't be having a baby with you anytime soon. Hey, but you know what? I'll bet there are a lot of men who would volunteer for the job…."
"You fucking son of a …" I couldn't help myself; I lunged at him, but my movement was unsuccessful as I felt strong hands holding me back.
Suddenly a small figure darted past us, coming to a stop directly in front of Victor James. The next thing I knew, James was doubled over in pain as my darling mother stood over him, seething with anger, hands planted firmly on her hips.
What the fuck just happened?
Dad arrived back at precisely that moment. I felt Jasper and Colonel Whitlock's hold on me relax as we all stood staring at Victor.
"Was it my imagination my dear Esme, or did you actually just 'junk punch' Victor James?" My Dad asked incredulously.
"Damn right I did." Mom announced.
After a moment of absolute quiet, the entire waiting room erupted in laughter. The anger I'd felt vanished immediately as I watched James try to regain his composure.
Damn, Mom can pack a punch…
She's fucking awesome!
"Before we cause any more of an uproar tonight, I'd like you all to follow me. I've found us a private waiting room." Dad announced. He tried to hide his amusement, but I knew him too well.
As we began to file out of the waiting area, Victor seemed to find his voice again. "Expect to hear from my lawyer lady!" he shouted.
Mom stopped walking and turned to glare at him. "Bring it on! My lawyer's better. And after you've lost in court, maybe you'll remember in future not to fuck with my family," she exclaimed before turning on her heel and storming down the hall, the rest of us following in her wake.
I love my Mom.
-LRM-
"You've got one hell of a mother kid," Charlie said as he came to sit beside me, eggnog in hand.
The next time Emmett had appeared to give an update; Bella had followed him back to see Rose.
"Don't I know it," I answered with a smile.
"I can't figure out what's going on with that Victor James character. Why does he have it in for you and Bells?" He asked.
I shrugged. "I honestly don't know Chief. He made a pass as Bella last year, and ever since then he seems to be out to get us." I sighed in frustration.
Charlie glared. "Son of a bitch." He muttered. "He's making a lot of enemies."
That was true.
When Bella returned, she advised that Rose was about to get an epidural. I hoped that meant that the baby would be arriving soon.
Chris offered Bella eggnog and she refused. When I offered her coffee she also refused, and seemed to be agitated again for some reason.
My poor girl is probably beside herself with worry for her friend
I put my arm around her, and she wordlessly settled against my side and relaxed for a while.
"Hey everyone," the sound of Emmett's voice got our attention. He was smiling broadly. "If you'll follow me, I'd like you all to meet someone."
Bella and Alice squeaked as they jumped from their seats in order to follow him down the hall.
-LRM-
I never attempted to hold him myself, but I watched as baby Whit was passed from person to person. When he was handed to my mother, she smiled and cooed while Dad watched on happily. I smiled to myself when I thought about the day when either Alice and Jazz or Bella and I would give them their first grandchild.
It was a silly notion. Alice and Jasper didn't seem in a hurry to become parents, and Bella and I had been married for all of about a minute, so why was I even considering us having a baby?
I chuckled and shook my head.
Then, as I watched the expression on my wife's face while she held baby Whit in her arms, my heart melted. She cried happy tears as she kissed his forehead and whispered soft words. Her smile as she looked at me from across the room was as breathtakingly beautiful as the one she'd worn on our wedding day, and suddenly I knew I wanted this for us. Not just for my parents' sake or Charlie's, but for Bella and me.
I wanted a child who would be a part of both of us; the perfect expression of our love for one another…
Bella continued to smile as she watched me, before getting a determined look on her face. She handed the baby to the Chief and crossed the room until she stood in front of me. She took my hand in hers, "I need to speak with you outside."
"Did you want to go home already?" I was confused. Maybe she was more exhausted than I'd realized.
She smiled. "Soon."
We bundled up against the cold night air and headed outside.
Once there, Bella stopped and turned to face me. I had no idea why she wanted to be alone, but was grateful for a quiet moment, after spending the entire day with our family.
"Do you know what today is?" She asked.
I smiled. "Is that a trick question?"
"No. It's December 22nd. I know it doesn't seem like a significant date but…"
As soon as she said the words, I knew the exact significance of the date.
"One year ago," I whispered. I would always remember December 22nd as the day my life really and truly began.
She nodded. "A year ago today we met in that conference room where I clumsily spilled coffee all over my shirt and my life was changed forever."
I chuckled and pulled her against me. "It was the most important day of my life as well." I brushed my lips against hers. "We should celebrate."
"Well, you see, I had a whole celebration planned." She began, "But Ethan and Shane arriving early and Rose going into labor kind of changed things."
I finally began to understand her strange nervous mood from earlier today. She'd been planning a celebration for our 'anniversary' of sorts and her plans had been foiled at every turn.
"Oh baby, we can still do something. What did you have planned?"
She smiled and placed her gloved hand on my cheek. "I was going to fix us a romantic breakfast and play soft Christmas music while we ate in the glow of the twinkling lights of our tree."
That sounds perfect
"As we ate, I was going to tell you how much this year has meant me."
I looked at my watch. "We can still do that Bella. It's only a little after three."
"Maybe." She whispered before moving her hand from my face and resting it on my coat, over my heart. "I was going to tell you that you took possession of my heart that very first day, and that it would never belong to anyone else."
I feel the same way baby
I leaned down and touched my lips to hers.
"In one little year, I went from being a sad, scared, damaged girl to a woman who I'm actually proud of. The fact that you could love me as much as I love you, gave me the strength and confidence to do things I never knew I was capable of doing."
I didn't know what to say. Anything I'd done for her paled in comparison to what she'd done for me.
"In one little year, I not only graduated from college, but started a career I love. I'm learning to take the tragedy of my past and use it to help others, all in memory of my mother. Because of that, she will not have died in vain. I couldn't have done that without you."
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my emotions at bay.
"On one warm August day during that 'one little year', I pledged myself to the man I loved and promised 'til death do us part' that I would always be his. But, I want you to know that death will not bring an end to our bond. My love for you will endure for all eternity, and that's exactly how long I plan to be with you."
I leaned forward and kissed her forehead, a silent affirmation of my desire to do the same.
"And lastly, I was going to give you an early Christmas present."
That was unexpected…
She reached into her purse and wrapped her hand around something before looking up at me again. "I hope you like it, because I have to say I'm quite attached to the idea."
She placed the object in my hand and I stared down at it. I knew what it was, but my mind was a total blank as to why Bella would hand me a pregnancy test.
It took approximately one minute for the meaning of the gesture to register with my brain.
She was…
Bella is…
We're going to have…
"Say something," Bella whispered, pulling me from my internal ramblings.
A baby?
Suddenly all the pent up emotions I'd been feeling from the moment I'd watched Bella holding baby Whit, rose to the surface and my eyes filled with tears.
I want this
I want this so badly
A father?
I am going to be a father
"Really?" I asked as the tears escaped my eyes.
She nodded. "Really," as her own tears trailed down her cheeks. "Yet another thing that you've given me, which a year ago I would not have thought possible: a life beyond my own."
I pulled her against me, cradling her in my arms as I buried my face in her neck. This amazing woman, who I loved more than anything in this world, was carrying my child…
Overcome with the enormity of the moment, I felt myself sob into her neck as I held her close. "I love you Bella, so much," was all I was able to choke out.
"I love you too." She whispered back just before my lips found hers. I kissed her passionately, savoring the moment as we held onto each other in the cold night air.
When I finally broke the kiss, the urge to cry had been replaced by an overwhelming feeling of euphoria. "I'm going to be a father?" I asked with a smile.
Bella nodded. I couldn't completely wrap my head around the concept, but it thrilled me nonetheless.
I lifted her and twirled her around as we both laughed. "We're going to have a baby!" I shouted with excitement.
I knew exactly what we needed to do next, as I took her hand in mine.
As if she could read my thoughts, Bella spoke, "When do you want to tell our family?"
I began to pull her toward the hospital doors, "I'd say there's no time like the present Mrs. Cullen."
We were grinning like loons as we rode back up in the elevator. Acting upon impulse, I unbuttoned her coat and placed my hand on her stomach where our child lay sleeping inside her.
I then told her exactly what was in my heart, "I hope it's a little girl with your eyes and your hair."
"Or a little boy who looks just like you," Bella countered with a grin.
I smirked. The truth was I didn't care either way. "I guess we'll both have to settle for 'healthy'."
"I can do that." She whispered back before I kissed her again, my heart filled to the brim with love for her and our unborn child.
During the rest of the ride up I was silent as I contemplated the fact that soon, too soon, our families and then the entire world would know our news.
As we approached Rose's door at the end of the hall, I slowed my pace, eventually pulling to a stop when we were still a few feet away.
Bella's forehead creased in confusion.
I pulled her close once again, tracing her cheek with my fingertips as I whispered, "Bella, I want to tell everyone, and we will, but I kind of like the fact that we're the only ones who know right now. Is it selfish to want to hold on to this moment just a little longer?"
She shook her head and smiled knowingly.
There we silently stood, staring into each other's eyes as I let my mind mull over the possibilities. I could see a beautiful little girl running into our room to wake us before the sun had risen in the sky; or a little boy collecting shells in a bucket along a sandy beach…
So many possibilities…
After a while, we broke apart. We'd had our moment, it was time.
"Are you ready for this?" I asked as I took her hand in mine and turned toward the door.
"As ready as I'll ever be," she answered with a giggle.
Everyone in the room was just as we'd left them, except baby Whit who was now resting in the arms of his mother. My breath caught in my throat at the loving expression on Rose's face as she looked down at him, and I thought about Bella. It wouldn't be long before she'd be holding our child in her arms.
I suddenly couldn't wait.
"Where did you two go?" Chris asked, before seeming to think of something unpleasant, causing him to scowl. "Oh my God, look at the two of you all flushed and disheveled. Weren't you worried that Victor James might still be lurking out there?" He scolded. "I hope you were discreet, because I'm sure he'd like nothing better than to get footage of you both in a compromising position."
"Chris!" Bella and I exclaimed together before I continued. "We went outside to talk."
"Uh-huh," Chris looked unconvinced.
"Jesus, I'd expect that from Emmett, but not from you." I continued.
"Sor-ry," Chris stressed each syllable, not seeming in the least bit sorry.
"Hey! What did I do?" Emmett asked, feigning injury.
"Don't act like you're innocent Emmett," Bella chimed in. "Nine times out of ten you're the one making an inappropriate sexual reference."
"Yeah, well that may be so, but with one big fucking exception." Emmett boomed.
"Language, Emmett!" Rose snapped as she cupped her hand over the baby's ear.
"Oh, sorry," he said to Rose, before turning back to Bella, "the exception being that I would never mention 'sex' and my baby sister in the same sentence. That's just disgusting." Emmett said, looking genuinely uncomfortable.
"When are you going to get over the fact that I'm a married woman Emmett?" Bella snapped, seemingly oblivious to everyone else in the room aside from her brother. "Guess what? Edward and I have sex. Not in the hospital parking lot obviously…"
I saw the Chief wince before rubbing his hands over his face in exasperation, while Emmett shoved his fingers in his ears. "La, la, la, I can't hear you..."
I groaned. This was not turning out to be the happy family moment we'd planned.
"Would you all stop talking about s-e-x around the baby," Rose whisper-yelled, "We don't know how much he can understand."
"Rose, he's like three hours old," Jasper answered. "But I agree this is not an appropriate topic of conversation at the moment, if ever."
"Yeah, especially since I'm not getting any for the next six weeks," Emmett added.
Half the room groaned. "Emmett!" Charlie barked.
"What?"
"Enough!"
"I think I need a little more of that eggnog." My mother chimed in as she went to grab the bottle from the side table.
I looked around at the faces of everyone in that room; some, like my father, Jasper, Shane and Ethan looked amused, a few such as Rose's parents; the Chief and Bella were shooting disgusted glares at Emmett, still others, Mom, Alice, Suzanne and Chris were off in their own little world, oohing and aahing over the baby.
"Everyone, can I have your attention," I spoke up. They all turned to look in my direction. "One of the reasons Bella and I were outside was so that she could give me a Christmas present."
"Damn it Eddie!" Emmett began.
"Emmett!" Rose exclaimed.
"Sorry uh, d-a-m-n-i-t Eddie! I thought I made it clear that I don't want to hear about you and my sister knocking boots."
"This coming from the man who did the nasty in the limo in front of the Cathedral where he was married!" Alice shouted.
Obviously she's still upset about that...
"Hey! At least it was after the ceremony!" Emmett defended with a shrug.
I saw Shane and Ethan fall apart in hysterical laughter as they observed our dysfunctional family in all its glory.
"Would you stop accusing me and Edward of having sex in the parking lot, you jackass!" Bella shouted at her brother.
"Bella, language!" Rose scolded.
"Tell your husband!" Bella snapped back.
"Stop shouting, you'll upset the baby!" Alice exclaimed.
"I need more eggnog!" Mother blurted as she took the bottle again. Instead of pouring it into a glass this time she simply took a swig straight from the bottle.
Oh good God…
The bickering continued until Bella's voice rose above the rest. "Would everyone please shut up for just a minute? The present Edward was referring to was this," she shouted as she pulled the pregnancy test from her purse and held it up for all to see. "We came in here to tell you that we're going to have a baby." Her voice cracked as she spoke, and there was a collective gasp from everyone else in the room. Bella paid no attention before continuing her tirade. "This is not what was supposed to happen," she sniffled, "Alice; you should be squealing and hugging us by now. Esme and Rose, you should be crying. And everyone else should be giving tearful congratulations to Edward and me. But no," Bella snapped, "I forgot to consider the fact that some of you have been drinking and at least one of you is certifiably insane." She glared at her brother before wiping her nose on her sleeve and flopping down in a chair.
Wow.
I approached her with caution and crouched down in front of where she sat, gently placing my hand on hers and squeezing gently. She smiled at me through her tears.
It took exactly that long for what Bella had said to fully register with our family members. Suddenly the room was alive with the excited murmur of voices. Charlie was the first to make his way over to us, just as Mom, Alice and Chris squealed and swooped in behind him, the others following in a group.
The Chief crouched down, mimicking my posture.
"Bella baby, that's great news." He was beaming, "How about a hug for your old man?"
Bella nodded and gave him a small smile before she leaned into his embrace.
"Congratulations," he whispered before turning to shake my hand. "Congratulations to you too, Edward."
"Thank you, sir."
Charlie looked at Bella again and sighed. "So my baby's having a baby? Hard to imagine…" He said almost wistfully.
"Oh Daddy," Bella exclaimed as she threw her arms around her father's neck and hugged him again.
After a moment Charlie patted her back and pulled away smiling. "I guess I'd better get used to this 'Grandpa' title, huh?" He said as he rubbed his chin.
Bella nodded as she grinned.
Just then my Mother's voice sounded loud and clear. "I'm sorry Charlie but if you don't move, I'm going to have to push you!"
Charlie chuckled, as did everyone else. I pulled Bella to her feet and my Mother immediately had her enveloped in her arms. "Oh my dear, I can't believe it! I'm so happy!" She said; the tears streaming as she kissed Bella's cheek.
"I'm even happier than I was on your wedding day!" she exclaimed as she let go of Bella. "I can't wait to help decorate the nursery."
Bella and I laughed. "I think we have a little time before that needs to be done Mom."
"True." Mom turned to me then, pulling me into a fierce hug while Dad hugged Bella. "Oh honey, I am so happy for you." She kissed my cheek. "What am I saying? I'm happy for myself!"
I laughed.
She leaned back and looked up at my face, her cheeks wet with her tears. "Oh Edward, everything I've ever wished for you is coming true." She said with a sob. "I love you darling."
"I love you too Mom."
Dad hugged me next. "Congratulations son, what a day!"
Can't argue with that…
"Thanks Dad."
"You know Edward, the thought of being a father can be daunting, but it's been the most rewarding experience of my life." He said before hugging me.
I looked up to see Emmett grinning cheekily at his sister while holding his arms open for a hug. Bella blurted out a laugh and walked into his open arms.
I couldn't hear what he whispered in her ear, but I saw Bella wipe a few new tears from her eyes.
"Oh Edward, I'm thrilled," Alice practically squealed as she hugged me, "Maybe now Jasper will be a little more open to the idea…" She whispered in my ear.
I nodded, knowing that Jasper found the idea of being a father a little terrifying.
"He'll come around Ali." I whispered back.
"I hope you're right," She said as she brushed away a tear. "Until then, I plan to be the most awesome Aunt ever, and now I'll have two babies to spoil!"
She then threw her arms around Bella.
"Congratulations Edward," Jasper told me with a sincere smile and a handshake.
"Thanks Jazz."
At that point we were swarmed by the rest of the group. Bella received so many hugs that I was afraid she'd bruise.
Alice and Chris were beyond excited as they talked about designing Bella's maternity wardrobe.
Suddenly, one voice rose above the tumult. "Isabella Marie Swan Cullen, get your ass over here!"
Rosalie
Seems she's forgotten about her rule of 'no swearing' in front of the baby…
Bella ran over to the bed and threw her arms around her best friend and her nephew. The two women cried and mumbled incoherently before they were able to pull themselves together.
I saw Charlie hand them a box of tissues. "It isn't often that you upstage me Bella." Rose said with a watery grin. "And I couldn't be happier about it."
She looked down at the infant sleeping in her arms. "Baby Whit will have a playmate soon." She whispered.
Bella nodded, and the waterworks started again.
I silently wondered if all this crying could dehydrate her. When I asked Dad, he laughed at me.
Finally, after what turned out to be a very long night, we all decided to go and leave Emmett and Rose in peace with their son.
I could already tell that Whit was going to be a great kid; he'd laid there sleeping contentedly during most of the crazy.
I somehow think he's going to fit right in…
Ethan and Shane were insistent on staying in a hotel so that Bella and I could be alone, but Mom and Dad wouldn't hear of it, and informed them that they would be staying at their house instead.
I was secretly thankful. Bella and I needed this night together, alone.
When we finally made it home, we were too keyed up to go to sleep. Instead, we sat in front of the fire and watched the twinkling lights of our Christmas tree. I held Bella close in the quiet stillness of our home.
"So do you know when it happened?" I asked.
Bella looked up at me and bit her lip. "Yeah, I was a little out of it that night after you had your accident." She took a deep breath. "I realized after the fact that I was probably still fertile." She looked up at me warily. "I'm sorry Edward; I know we weren't planning for this but…"
I placed my finger over her lips as I thought back to how desperately I'd needed to be close to her that night. The accident and her nightmare coupled with the memories of when she'd been taken by the ranger had affected me as well.
"No regrets Bella." I whispered. "Our child will be amazing."
I chuckled to myself as I thought about the fact that, more than likely this child wouldn't exist if I hadn't stupidly stepped in front of a car while filming.
"What's so funny?"
"I'm just hoping that I won't have to get hit by a car in order to get you pregnant the next time."
I was rewarded with an elbow to the ribs for my poor joke.
"Ow."
Bella grinned and then sighed loudly.
"What are you thinking?"
She frowned. "Will you still love me when I'm big and fat?"
Her question caught me by surprise. I snorted out a laugh before answering. "Yes, no matter how huge you get, I'll still love you the same." I kissed her nose. "Even more so, because you are carrying my child."
"Do you think I'm going to get really fat?" She asked in alarm.
"No, Bella. Of course not."
She groaned. "Suppose I do?"
"I'll love you even if it takes a forklift to move you from room to room." I said with a grin. "Ow!" I complained after receiving another elbow to the ribs.
"You deserved that." She scowled.
I laughed. "Come on beautiful. This isn't the time for your silly insecurities; this is the time to dance with your baby daddy."
I walked over to the ihome and chose the music that said what I needed to say, before pulling my wife into my arms.
"You were so eloquent earlier, I don't think I can compare, but I'll try." I began as we swayed to the music.
Love rescue me
Come forth and speak to me
Raise me up and don't let me fall
No man is my enemy
My own hands imprison me
Love rescue me
Many strangers have I met
On the road to my regret
Many lost who seek to find themselves in me
They ask me to reveal
The very thoughts they would conceal
Love rescue me
"Bella, you have given me so much, I don't know if you even realize how much, even though I've told you time and time again," I smiled softly. "Before we met, those who didn't know me would have assumed that I had everything I could ever want. Money, fame, the love of my family, but Bella I was so utterly unhappy. I know now it was because I was waiting for you."
In the cold mirror of a glass
I see my reflection pass
See the dark shades of what I used to be
"When we met, my perspective shifted. I saw myself for the cold, selfish man I'd become. I didn't like it." I drew in a deep breath and she looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. "I wanted to be better, for you. I wanted to be the man who deserved your love. I know I've still got a long way to go in order to be the person I want to be, but with your help I know I'll get there."
She shook her head. "You're already the best man I know Edward. I can't imagine anyone kinder, more considerate, more protective," she smirked.
"And you can expect a lot more of that Mrs. Cullen. It's not only you that I'll be protecting now."
I smiled and kissed her lips again.
"You give me hope Bella. Hope for the future. Hope that I can be a better man, a better husband, and hope that maybe I won't completely suck as a father." I chuckled when she frowned. "Just think of it my love," I whispered. "We are having a baby; a perfect little person who will be part of you and part of me."
"This is by far and away, the best gift I could ever hope to receive. I thank you so much my love, for this," I said as I placed my hand on her stomach once again, "for saving me from the man I was… thank you for everything."
I've conquered my past
The future is here at last
I stand at the entrance
To a new world I can see
The ruins to the right of me
Will soon have lost sight of me
Love rescue me
-So ends 'Love Rescue Me'—
-The story will continue in the sequel entitled 'Lullabies & Eternal Love'-
Watch the LINKS tab on the right hand side of the blog. As soon as 'Lullabies & Eternal Love' begins to post, it will show up there.
*******A/N*****
A/N Here we are at the end of this chapter in the life of Actorward and Pregella. Thanks to U2 for the song.
Again, I thank Caruso5 for her beta and pre-reader work. I have such wonderful betas! I wish I'd searched them out sooner; life would have been so much easier!
I thank everyone who read and enjoyed the story, everyone who left reviews here and comments on Facebook. I'm aware that not as many read this one as read V&V, and that's okay, but between you and me they missed out on some fun moments.
Love and kisses, Anne (aka Emmamama88)
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