Chapter 1 - Armpits & Coffee Stains

                                                                                       *Tuesday, December 22*

My phone alerted me to an incoming text message.

B-

Meet me in the conference room, 10 mins. Need to talk before meeting at 9:30.

Rose

I looked at the time: 9:10.

Oh please God, I hope she doesn’t expect me to attend this meeting

Yeah I tend to pray a lot when dealing with Rosalie.

Chapter 2 - Drunk Ironing & Snark

“Hey, Bellaboo, care to tell me why my girlfriend is drunk-ironing?” Emmett was standing in my apartment with two open bottles of beer in his hands.

After handing one to me, he continued. “You know that she only drunk-irons when she’s really pissed off, and I get the feeling that you know why.”

When Rose would get really angry she drank tequila. While drinking, she would brood. Then she would drink more tequila and go into Emmett’s closet, remove his shirts and pants, and start ironing.

When we had gotten home, I fixed dinner for Rose and I, but promptly left for my own apartment when she pulled out the tequila.

Chapter 3 - The Snowman & Midnight Mass

I was still a little dazed as I made my way through the grocery store.

I could easily fall for Edward Masen, or Cullen, or whatever. Yoohoo, Bella, did you forget he has a girlfriend? A very well-known girlfriend. And you are, sorry to remind you, a nobody.

 Just like that my former happy mood disintegrated.

Chapter 4 - Grits & Vitamin R

Much later that morning we all stumbled downstairs where everyone proceeded to help make brunch.

I made French toast, and the toppings. Charlie cooked up some sausage. Emmett made his specialty, scrambled eggs, and Rose was in charge of grits and biscuits.

“I may not sound Southern, but I was born in Texas, and my Mama’s from Georgia. Tough shit if you don’t like grits, I’m making them anyway! And besides, it‘s one of the few things I know how to cook!” Rose snarked when Emmett teased her about her grits obsession.

I had to admit that I really liked grits, especially when Rose taught me the proper way to eat them.

Chapter 5 - Kelly Kapowski & The Cougar

The next morning, we needed to return to Seattle. By tradition, we always went to the Forks coffee shop for breakfast. We did this every year because, as Dad put it, “Bella deserved a vacation from cooking after all her hard work“.

We packed up the hummer, and headed out in two vehicles. I rode with Dad in the patrol car.

Chapter 6 - Enchiladas & Store Bought Ta Ta's

As soon as I got home, I threw together the ingredients for chicken enchiladas and a couple of side dishes. While the dinner was cooking, I went to my room to change my clothes.

I decided that I would dress casually. Just the same as if I were home relaxing. I had just slipped into my jeans and my fuzzy green v-neck sweater when my phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Hi Bella, I was just calling make sure you made it home.” Rosalie sounded a little wary.

“Hey Rose, yeah I’m here.”

Chapter 7 - Mercer Island & Mini-bars

“I don’t get to come home as often as I would like, and I actually find myself missing winter. Rather, I miss the change in the weather. In L.A. the weather is just too constant.”

“Unlike here” Rose smirked as she motioned toward the light mist which had forced she and Edward to employ the use of a rather large umbrella as they walked through the Bonsai Garden for day two of Edward‘s interview.

Chapter 8 - The Dude & Dirty Harry

*Wednesday, December 30*

I woke up long before my alarm went off, happier than I ever remembered being before, but nervous as hell. It reminded me of those Christmas mornings when I was a little kid. The night before I’d be so excited that it seemed to take hours to finally fall asleep, but as soon as my body would register that it was morning, I would wake up, tummy full of butterflies, jump out of bed, and go to see what Santa brought. The euphoria overwhelming.

Chapter 9 - Stellar Hineys & Carriage Rides

*New Year’s Eve*

I awoke abruptly from a deep sleep. My dreams so full of Edward, so vivid, so real, so explicit? Coming from the mind of someone who’d never had sex, it was perplexing.

After some time to ponder, I decided to blame my ‘sexy dreams’ on the fact that I’m head over heels in love with Edward a.k.a. ‘Sexward’ Masen.

And also the fact that I‘ve seen his naked tushy.

It’s true that I’d seen several of Edward’s movies over the last few years. But none of them got me ’worked up’ quite as much as September Ends. It was a steamy love story Edward filmed last year.

Chapter 10 - Cosmic Boogers & Black Eyed Peas

*New Years Day*


Emmett had just parked the hummer outside of Saint James Cathedral. He had also just received his first smack-upside-the-head of the New Year, courtesy of Rosalie. The smack being the result of his statement regarding The Feast of the Circumcision being proof that God was indeed a man because “No chick would allow an entire day to be dedicated to the schlotskin!”