Chapter 8 - The Dude & Dirty Harry

*Wednesday, December 30*

I woke up long before my alarm went off, happier than I ever remembered being before, but nervous as hell. It reminded me of those Christmas mornings when I was a little kid. The night before I’d be so excited that it seemed to take hours to finally fall asleep, but as soon as my body would register that it was morning, I would wake up, tummy full of butterflies, jump out of bed, and go to see what Santa brought. The euphoria overwhelming.

Although, in my case, I was usually awoken by the booming voice of my brother who then proceeded to tickle me until I either woke up or peed my pants. He’d drag me out of bed and carry me downstairs, sometimes piggyback (obviously reserved for the times I didn’t pee myself).

Unfortunately, because I don’t know how to ever relax and be happy, a nagging little part of my brain was nursing an irrational fear that last night had been a dream. As soon as I looked at my phone and read the last text message, I knew that I was being silly, and that last night had really happened. I must have already been asleep when he sent it.

Beautiful Bella-


The last words you said tonight were ‘sweet dreams, and I love you’. The latter has made the former possible.


My dreams will be very sweet, because they will be of you.


Sleep in a little tomorrow, the car will arrive at 9:30am. I love you.


-Edward


I did a little happy dance beside my bed.

Was there anything else I would ever need? Maybe food, water, oxygen, and Edward. Yeah, that’s about it. The necessities of life.

I decided that since I had a block of free time, according to Edward’s text, I could do my laundry. I‘d gotten a little behind with it since Christmas.

I stripped the sheets from my bed and stuffed them into a laundry bag. I filled a second bag with clothes from my hamper and headed down the hall to the communal laundry room.

I loaded up everything into the washers and headed back to my apartment to start getting ready for the day. It was only 7:30, which was a little too early to knock on Emmett and Rose’s door.

I wonder if they’d enjoy a big breakfast? Jeez Bella we’re talking about Emmett here. I’m fearful for small animals when he’s hungry, hence the reason I don’t own any. Of course he’s not going to turn down food.

I cooked western omelets and sausages and placed everything in the warmer. I shot a text to Rosalie, telling her that if they wanted food, they’d better get their asses over here in ten minutes.

I then headed back down the hall to move the wet clothes to the dryers. What happened next I blame on the fact that my head was still spinning with thoughts of Edward and his kisses.

As soon as I walked through the door to the laundry, I noticed a pool of water near one of the washers.

Oh no, I hope my clothes washed okay.

I carefully approached the machines. Well, not carefully enough. The next thing I knew, I felt myself slipping and falling.

Oh. Shit.

***V&V****

“Bella, Bella, wake up Bella!”

I could hear my brother frantically calling me. My head was throbbing like a motherfucker.

Ow, I mean OW!

I tried to open my eyes but even that made my head hurt. I lifted my hand to my face and physically pried my right eye open with my fingers.

“Oh!” I heard my brothers booming voice right by my ear.

Does he even have a ‘low’ setting on his volume? Shit! my head!

When my eyes finally focused I came face to face with Jeff Bridges? No, not really Jeff Bridges, but Jeff Bridges in the Big Lebowski.

That just figures. I died and ‘the Dude’ is ‘abiding’ in my own personal purgatory. Fuck my Life, or Fuck my Afterlife, as it were.

“Bella! Can you hear me?”

This.Is.Hell.

“Stop yelling in my ear Emmett. My head hurts.” I replied in a whimper. My words came out like mush.

When I was able to focus, I realized I had been face-to-face with Emmett’s ’Big Lebowki’ t-shirt, one that I gave him for Christmas.

“Bells, honey, we’re taking you to the hospital.” Rose informed me.

I opened my eyes again to see them both hovering over me.

I tried to protest, but my head felt like it was going to explode, and I couldn’t get the words out.

I felt myself being lifted and carried out.

At one point in the car I grabbed Rose’s arm. “Edward is coming to get me at 9:30” I slurred.

“I’ll text him Bells, just relax.”

**V&V**

I was sitting in an exam room, waiting for the Doctor to appear. I wasn’t feeling woozy any more, but the headache was still there.

“Feeling any better?” Emmett looked at me, concern evident on his face.

“Honestly? I’m feeling a little like hammered shit right now, but I’ll live.“ I croaked out, my mouth felt dry, and my voice was hoarse. “I’m so thirsty.” I winced as I thought about my bad luck. “I guess I was due for another accident, I haven’t been in the emergency room for a whole year.”

Emmett and Rose chuckled, but I could tell they were worried. Em handed me a bottle of water.

“I’m going to get the building manager to have carpet installed in that damn room and have something done about the faulty plumbing.” Emmett huffed.

Everyone was quiet for a few minutes. Rose walked over to her purse and pulled out her cell phone.

After drinking my water, I laid back and shut my eyes.

I could hear Rose speaking quietly to someone on the phone, but couldn‘t make out any of the words.

All of a sudden the door flew open and Edward walked in with his father on his heels. Edward had a panicked look on his face. When he saw me, he relaxed marginally.

“Oh thank God. Bella are you alright?” He asked as he rushed to my side.

“My head’s killing me, but I’ve had worse.” Oh boy had I. A little bump on my head is nothing compared to what I’d been through before.

Dr. Cullen exchanged pleasantries with Emmett and Rose.

“What happened?” Edward asked as he took my left hand in both of his and sat in the chair beside me.

I saw both Rose and Emmett’s mouths fall open in surprise.

Dr Cullen smiled. “Bella would it be alright if I checked your chart?” he asked.

“Of course Dr. Cullen.“ I smiled back.

“Carlisle, please.“ He said as he picked up my chart to read it.

I proceeded to tell Edward and Carlisle all about my spill in the laundry room. My brother completed the story.

“So we get a text message promising us breakfast. Then you didn’t answer your door Bells. I had to resort to using my key.” He said, seeming a little put out by this.

“When I entered the apartment, I started to freak when I couldn’t find you anywhere. As soon as I saw the bottle of detergent sitting by your clothes basket, I figured you were doing laundry.”

“I left Rose to make coffee, and went to find you.” Emmett started rubbing soothing circles on the hand he was holding. He wouldn’t meet my eyes, staring down at the edge of my bed instead. “I found you on the floor. I was so scared.” His voice was shaking. Rose came over beside him and rubbed his back.

“It’s okay Em, it was just a stupid accident. I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful.” I told him. I started to choke up. I never could bear to see my big brother upset. “Thank you for finding me.” I said in a small voice.

I could see that Edward was on the verge of losing his shit. He was trying to take slow even breaths, a method I practiced to ward off panic attacks.  I patted his hand. “I’m alright Edward. These kinds of things just seem to happen to me. I land in the emergency room quite often.”

Carlisle pursed his lips and nodded in agreement as he studied my chart. I knew that he was probably looking at a ‘laundry list’, pardon the pun, of all my past injuries.

I turned back toward Edward. “I’m glad you’re here.” I smiled at him. “Even if I am dressed like a slob in my pjs and hoodie. I’d understand if you didn’t want to date me now Mr. Masen.” I teased.

“You are more beautiful every time I see you, even dressed like this with no makeup. You take my breath away Miss Swan.” He murmured.

He drew in a deep breath, “I came as quickly as I could after receiving Rosalie’s text message. I phoned my father on the way, and he met me at the door. Bella, I’ve never been so worried.” He sighed and dropped his head down in relief. I gently cupped the side of his face with my hand, he leaned into it and closed his eyes.

I had forgotten that we weren’t alone in the room until I heard my brother clearing his throat.

When I looked over at him, he looked a little freaked out. I then realized that, outside of our small family circle, in seven years, he’d never seen me casually touch anyone. He was probably waiting for the meltdown that would never come. “It’s okay Em.” I softly smiled at him.

Emmett and Rose tried to wipe the shocked looks off of their faces, but failed miserably.

“Edward, don’t you need to go to the photoshoot?” I asked when I realized it was already after ten.

“That is the least of my worries Bella. I’ll call and tell them we need to reschedule.” He answered as he pulled out his phone.

Just then another doctor walked in. He looked pleasantly surprised to see Carlisle there, and they shook hands as Carlisle handed him my file.

Edward stepped away to let the Doctor approach.

“Hello Isabella, I’m Doctor Legg.”

Emmett’s head perked up and I noticed him reading the Doctor’s name tag. So, of course I had to glance at it myself.

Oh cripes.

I tried to send a message telepathically to my brother so he wouldn’t embarrass me.

Emmett, don’t say anything, don’t say anything, don’t say anything.

I chanted silently. But, obviously my telepathic skills were shit, because he spoke anyway.

“So um, Doc?” I laid back and covered my face with my hands, peering from between my fingers as Emmett started to speak.

Dr. Legg turned to face my brother. “Yes?”

“Your first name’s really Seymour?” He started snickering. “As in Seymour Legg?” Emmett still chuckling, as everyone else just stared at him.

“Yes, unfortunately my parents had a strange sense of humor.” Dr. Legg said as he plastered a fake smile on his face.

“Don’t sweat it Doc, at least your last name’s not Butts.” Was my asstard brother’s brilliant reply.

The doctor got a pained look on his face as Rose, Edward, and even Carlisle started snickering. “As if I’ve never heard that one before.” Dr. Legg said as he turned back to me.

Another day, another chance for Emmett to embarrass me in public.

“Please excuse my brother Dr. Legg, he never grew up.” I stated dryly.

“Anyway, Isabella, as you probably know you’ve suffered a mild concussion. We’d like to keep you here under observation for a little while longer, but I don’t see any reason for you to be here overnight, as long as someone can stay with you for the next 24 hours.”

“Not a problem Doctor.” Rose stated. “Bella’s got a great support system.”

I smiled at her gratefully.

“I’ll send a nurse in with an ice pack and some pain meds for your head.” He glanced once more around the room. I did notice his gaze lingered on Edward for a moment, as if he recognized him. He must have decided against saying anything, and left.

I turned to Edward who was still chuckling. “Don’t encourage Emmett.” I snarked. Edward tried, but failed to hide his amused smile.

“Well, Bella, you’re in quite capable hands here. I’m going to head back upstairs to prep for my next surgery.” Carlisle said. “Please have someone call me if you need anything.” He patted my hand, then Edward’s shoulder.

“Goodbye everyone.”

“Bye Dr. Cullen.” Em and Rose said together.

Edward followed his father out to make his phone call.

“Bells!” Rose’s eyes were wide. “What exactly is going on between you and Masen?” She and Emmett were listening intently for my response.

“We love each other.” I stated simply. There was no reason to beat about the bush.

If I thought they looked shocked before, it was nothing compared to that moment. They also seemed to have been rendered speechless.

Emmett was the first to recover. “In just one week?” He sputtered out.

“Everything seems fast, yes, but our hearts, not our heads, seem to be in control. Even I, the born skeptic, now have to admit that ‘love at first sight’ is possible.” I answered them sincerely.

Edward re-entered the room just as I said the last sentence, and came back to my side, taking my hand in his again.

“I know this seems strange to you both, but I have never felt this way about anyone before. Today proved to me that Bella is all I’ll ever want, and I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost her.”

I saw Emmett and Rose share a look and a small smile at these words.

As promised, the nurse arrived with my icepack and meds. Not long after that, I was released with instructions to keep applying icepacks for the next couple of hours, and take Tylenol as needed.

I had to argue with Edward and Rosalie so they wouldn’t cancel the last part of the interview. They finally relented, and even decided it would be okay for me to attend, as long as I understood that I was only there to observe, not work. I just needed to stop home first to get dressed.

Convincing Edward to allow Emmett and Rose to take me home so he could go to his hotel to get ready was a little more difficult. I finally got my way by pretending that arguing was making my head hurt worse.

“I’m so sorry Bella, of course I’ll do as you ask. But, can I please come by to pickup you up and take you to the station?”

“That would be fine Edward, and thank you.”

We walked out to the exit. Emmett and Rose realizing that Edward and I were loathe to be separated, went out to the parking lot to bring the car up. This gave us the opportunity to give each other a quick goodbye kiss away from prying eyes.

***V&V***

When I got home, Emmett and Rose made sure I wasn’t alone until Edward arrived. They were taking the doctors instructions very seriously, and it was driving me nuts.

Edward wasn’t much better, making me sit on the sofa, and waiting on me hand and foot. Emmett had dried the infamous laundry and brought it back to the apartment. I allowed Edward to put the sheets on my bed, but forbid him from folding my clothes.

There was no way in freaking hell he was going to handle my unmentionables. We hadn’t even been on our ’official’ first date yet.

Besides that, thanks to Rosalie, my underwear would make a hooker blush. She wouldn’t let me own, what she judged, ‘ugly underwear’, so she made all my lingerie purchases. Every time I purchased ’normal’ undergarments, she would find my hiding places and confiscate them. She was like a bloodhound whose mission was to seek out and destroy cotton panties.

Edward and I were sitting there talking when my doorbell rang. I didn’t think it would be Rose or Emmett because they never used the bell.

“Bella, don’t move, I’ll get that.” Edward ordered.

“Yes sir” I answered in my most sarcastic tone.

As soon as the door opened I heard my father’s voice. “What are you doing answering my daughter’s door? And where is Bella?”

Oh jeez, Charlie sounds pissed.

“Dad, I’m right here.” He charged around the corner to the living room, and came over to sit beside me. He was still in his uniform, and armed.

“How are you doing baby, Rose called and told me what happened, so I drove right out here.”

“I’m fine. Edward was keeping me company before we have to leave for the TV station.” I tried to avoid going into a lot of detail where Edward was concerned.

I’ll postpone that talk until later.

Charlie looked at Edward, narrowing his eyes and raising one eyebrow.

“Dad, you didn’t need to come all this way, I just had a slight concussion.”

“Bells, I was coming tomorrow anyway. I just had Mark take over things a day early.” He said, still eyeing Edward.

I cleared my throat. “Dad, I’d like you to meet Edward Masen. Edward this is my father Charlie Swan.”

Edward, ever the gentleman, reached his hand out to shake Charlie’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you sir, Bella’s told me a lot about you.”

Charlie begrudgingly shook Edward’s hand. “Well that makes one of us.”

What a grouch. I know he’s pissed that I didn’t tell him about Edward, but he doesn’t need to be rude.

I glared at my father. “Come on Dad, we have to leave for the station. We’ll have a talk about this later.” I said, trying to calm him.

Sidney was waiting downstairs, and drove Edward, Charlie and I to the TV station. Emmett and Rose went in their own car because they were leaving for the airport immediately after the interview.

Rose and Jasper’s parents had been away on a ‘Christmas cruise’, and were arriving back into Seattle this afternoon. Jasper and Alice, as well as Emmett and Rose were meeting them at the airport and they were all going out to dinner.

My evening, on the other hand, would be spent with Edward and Chief Swan, heaven help me.

--V&V--

I was sat in a folding chair beside my Dad and Emmett as we watched the third and final part of Rose’s interview with Edward.

The questions for this portion all involved Edward’s future plans.

“If I’m being completely honest, I’d have to say that I’m more hopeful about the future than I’ve been in many years.” Edward was answering one of Rose’s questions, but his gaze wandered over to me.

Am I the only one who noticed the sparkle in his eye when he said those words.

“Is there a specific reason for this Edward?” Rose asked.

“Well, it’s just that things I never thought possible for me seem to be falling into place. I don’t want to expand on the reasons too much. I‘m a very private person but, I’m sure that some time down the road, the public will be made aware.”

Ah, Edward being cryptic as always. I have to say that it’s nice to be in on the secret for once.

The minute the interview was over, Edward and Rose came over to where we were seated.

“We’ll see you later, we’ve got to get to the airport.“ Rose said as she hugged me and Charlie.

“See you tomorrow Bella and Dad. Later, Edward.“ Emmett gave us all a smile and a wink before leaving with Rose.

“Dad, can you wait here for one moment, I’ll be right back.” Dad nodded.

“Edward, can you come with me?“ I said as I took his hand and led him toward my cubicle.

When we were sufficiently out of earshot of my nosy co-workers I began. “Edward, can you wait to come over until about seven?”

“Of course Bella. I’m assuming you need a little time to speak with your father?”

“Exactly.” I smiled, even though Charlie had me a little stressed.

Edward gave me a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll see you then. Goodbye beautiful.”

I giggled and gave him a quick hug before leaving with my Dad.

--V&V--

We were settled back at my apartment while Charlie served me a cup of tea, insisting that I rest.

“Bells, I don’t want to pry, but what exactly is going on? And why didn’t I know? I just saw you a few days ago.” Charlie sounded confused and a little hurt.

“Dad, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything last week. Things are still very new with Edward.”

“Are you dating him?” He asked in a serious tone.

“For all intents and purposes, I guess I am.” I didn’t want to go into detail about Tanya et al. I just hoped that Charlie had never paid attention to the tabloid magazine covers while standing in line at the Thriftway.

“I really care for him Dad, he’s important to me.”

Not going to tell you how important right now Chief, because I know you will flip your shit.

Charlie looked stunned. “Bells, you’ll have to forgive me, this is all pretty sudden. Quite frankly it’s surprising the Hell out of me.”

“Believe me Dad, no one is more surprised than I am.” I said with a small smile.

“Bells” Dad’s tone was quiet and serious. “Is this what you were talking about when you said you’d decided to be happy? Does he make you happy?”

“It is, and he does.” The truth of those words resounding in my ears.

“He’s not good enough for you. But, no one ever would be.” Charlie said, grinning now. “And I know why you wanted to speak with me alone, but I can’t promise to behave myself when he comes over tonight.” His grin was bigger now, looking very much like Emmett’s.

“Just try. For me Dad.” I pleaded.

Charlie nodded.

When Edward got there, Charlie did try. I guess. In between the times that he was being a jerk.

The first thing Edward did wrong was choose an import beer from my fridge for himself, while Charlie sipped on his Vitamin R.

“Something wrong with domestic Edward?” Charlie asked while pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes.

“Um, I like Harps?” Edward answered, a little confused as to what the ’right’ answer could be. Truth was no matter what he said, Charlie would find fault.

“Cut it out Dad.” I challenged.

“What?” Charlie tried to look innocent.

“You know what. I have three different types of beer in that fridge to keep you, Emmett and Rose happy, and you’re the only one that drinks the ‘domestic’ beer.”

The next bone of contention was firearms. “You mean to tell me that you didn’t learn to shoot a gun until you had to for a movie role?” Dad made a sour face. “Didn’t your father ever take you hunting? It‘s a great father-son bonding experience.”

“Dad, would you please give me a break. You attempted to take Emmett hunting once, do I need to remind you of how that turned out?”

Charlie started to look a little nervous.

I am so going to get you now Mister.

“Let me tell you about Emmett and Dad’s great ‘bonding experience’ Edward.  Emmett decided that he would use the trip as some sort of ‘wilderness survival’ experiment.  When they got home, he spent the next 24 hours throwing up because he thought it would be macho to drink his own urine.“

“He also had a rash in the worst possible place because when he emulated a bear and ‘shit in the woods‘, he just happened to take that dump on some poison ivy. And on top if all that, he managed to piss off, not one, but a whole family of skunks which resulted in him and my father both reeking for a week!”

“Yeah, they bonded alright, when Mom made them both sleep out in the garage until the smell dissipated.”

Edward, God bless him, was struggling mightily not to laugh.  He suddenly ran to the bathroom and I heard the loud guffaws before the door even closed.

Charlie narrowed his eyes at me. I answered it with a smug smile. Score: Bella 2, Charlie 0.

The next discussion was about Edward’s chosen profession. “I don’t think much about Hollywood actors these days. They’re all so ‘in touch with their feminine side’. I’ll take a Clint Eastwood film over all that touchy feely crap any day.” Charlie said, looking satisfied.

I rolled my eyes at him. Charlie was, without a doubt, Clint Eastwood’s number one fan. Charlie thought that man hung the moon. It was bordering on ridiculous how obsessed he was.

“What a coincidence. Clint asked me to be in a film with him, we start work in September.  Parts of it will be filmed right here in Seattle.  If you were interested in meeting him I could set it up.” Edward offered.

The air in the room got very still, and then it was as if the sky opened, and all the choirs of angels began to sing. Chief Charlie Swan transformed into a giant pile of stuttering goo right before my eyes.

He let Edward know, in no uncertain terms, that he’d definitely be interested in meeting Clint.

“Well now, um, well, that sounds good. Yeah, you set that up Edward. Anytime. You name the time and place and I’ll be there. Just let me know. Do you need my cell number? How about the house phone number? Oh Hell, just give me your cell I’ll program them all into it, including the police station. They can usually get in touch with me 24/7.”

O my God, I wish I had a video camera to capture this moment.

Charlie’s treatment of Edward did the most abrupt 180 that I’d ever witnessed.  Edward became his buddy, his pal, his own personal guide to the land of Clint Eastwood.

In Charlie’s eyes, if Clint Eastwood had been a foreign country, Edward would be its ambassador.  If Clint Eastwood had been a religion, Edward would be its Pope.

Maybe I hit my head a lot harder than I thought.