She could care less about the game of course. It was really just a chance for Alice and Christopher to drink and ogle the football players.
I arrived at Alice and Jasper’s about an hour before the game started. Christopher met me at the door. “Edward! Glad to see that the pixie got you to leave your cave.” He said with a smirk.
“Hey Chris, how are you? And I’ve been out of my ’cave’ a lot lately.” I argued with a smile.
Chris raised an eyebrow. “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter Edward, I know that you only leave your house to work. Maybe if the lovely Bella would move to L.A. you’d take more of an interest in actually living.”
“Don’t count on that Chris. They’d probably both go into hiding together.“ Alice grinned as she walked up and hugged me. “Which reminds me Edward. You’d better plan something nice to do with Bella during spring break, or I will steal her away and show her the sights myself.“
I hadn’t thought about that. For the past week, I’d been dwelling on the fact that I’d have to be separated from Bella for an unbearably long period of time. Now, with Alice’s simple statement, I realized that I had something to look forward to.
My mind began to ponder all the things Bella and I could do that week. Knowing that she liked the ocean, I immediately thought about taking her to Laguna Beach for a couple of days.
Probably won’t be warm enough to coax her into a bikini. Pity.
Alice’s guests had started to arrive. I knew a few of them, but I wasn’t feeling very sociable. I stayed pretty much to myself as we watched the game.
I honestly tried to pay attention to the screen, but my mind kept returning to Isabella. I’d spoken to her before she went to church this morning, and she’d told me of her intention to visit the lake we’d been to in Olympic National Park. Being a cop’s daughter, I knew Bella would be careful, but I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that had settled over me since we’d talked.
As I walked toward the kitchen to get a bottle of water, I contemplated calling Bella.
I really need to find a way to curb my stalker tendencies.
Just then, Alice came breezing into the room. She walked up and placed her small hand on my forearm, a worried expression on her face.
“Are you going to call Bella?” She asked.
“I was just thinking about doing that, yes.” I answered.
Alice stared at something over my shoulder and seemed to zone out for a moment. Suddenly she shook her head slightly and focused on me. “Call her Edward, something isn’t right. I can’t quite figure out what’s happened.”
I hit Bella’s number on speed dial. She picked up almost immediately.
“Hello.” I was relieved that she answered, although she sounded a little off.
“Hello baby. Did you go to the park?” I asked.
“Yeah, um I left a while ago.” She answered in a shaky voice.
I could tell that she had been crying. It took every ounce of my self-control not to overreact. “Bella you’ve been crying, what’s wrong?” I said quickly.
“I went to the lake, oh Edward, I was stopped by a park ranger.” She began to cry. “He grabbed me, it was awful. He’s charging me with assault. He’s lying Edward, he’s lying about everything.”
Bella’s words came out in such a rush that it took a moment to decipher what she had said. And even then, the words didn’t make sense.
“Bella, sweetheart, slow down. Please explain exactly what happened.” I was in agony, listening to her sobs.
So she went on to tell me every detail of the ordeal she’d just lived through. When she told me of the vile things the ranger had said, I lost it. “Motherfucking bastard I want to rip his tongue out.”
Thank heaven I was still in Alice’s kitchen, out of earshot of the party guests.
Bella’s story got worse.
She went on to describe when the ranger grabbed her. As she told me about that piece of shit putting her in handcuffs, she broke down in tears again.
My beautiful sweet girl.
“I will find that cocksucker and I will end his miserable existence. Son of a motherfucking whore.” I was suddenly hit with the realization that this scumbag acted this way because Bella had been in the news.
And she was in the news was because she was my girlfriend.
“This is because of me. If not for me, he wouldn’t have seen your photo on the news. He wouldn‘t have said those awful things to you.” I spluttered out.
“Edward, stop blaming yourself. I get the feeling that this guy would have messed with me whether he knew who I was or not.”
I doubted that, but I didn’t want her any more upset, so I dropped the subject.
“I’m coming there.” I blurted as I realized I had to see her. I needed to hold her and make sure she was okay.
“But won’t you get in trouble leaving the movie.”
“Don’t worry about that Bella. I’ll tell them I’ve got an emergency. Oh God Bella, being this far away when you need me is awful.”
Hold it together Edward, for Bella’s sake.
I said goodbye to Bella, and immediately went into action. After explaining to Alice in brief what had happened to Bella in the park, I muttered a quick goodbye, and headed home. On the way, I called my parents.
“Hello dear. I’m a little surprised to hear from you. Aren’t you watching the game at Alice and Jasper’s?” My mother asked as she answered.
“I’m on my way home Mom. Is Dad available? I need a favor.” I said in a rush.
“Yes, of course Edward. Is everything alright?” Mother sounded concerned.
I sighed loudly as I thought about that question. “No Mom. It really isn’t.” I heard my voice crack with emotion.
“Oh honey. What is going on?” She asked in a desperate tone. “Is Bella okay?”
“No Mom. She had a traumatic experience earlier today, and I’m making arrangements to fly up there as soon as possible.”
“Edward, what happened?”
I thought about how to tell them without betraying Bella’s confidence. Realizing that in order for my father to fully help her, I’d have to tell him an abbreviated version of Bella’s past, I sighed again. “Mom, just get Dad and then I’ll tell you both.” I said, resigned.
As soon as my father got on the extension, I launched into the story of Renee Swan’s last day on earth. I didn’t go into graphic detail, concentrating instead on Bella’s ordeal and many injuries.
“That explains the injuries listed on her medical chart. I wondered if she’d been in a car accident when I saw that.” My father said in a quiet voice, more to himself than to us.
I then went on to explain about the years of depression Bella faced after her mother’s death, and her aversion to physical contact with anyone outside her small social circle.
As I spoke, I could heard my mother’s soft sniffles as she tried to control her tears. My family had already grown to love Bella, and I knew this was hard for them to hear.
Finally, I told them what happened to Bella today in the park. Without my even asking, my father blurted. “Dear God Edward. The poor girl is probably in shock. Since she refused medical treatment, I need to go over there to make sure she’s alright.”
“Thank you Dad. I was hoping you’d go check on her. Her father’s on his way, but it takes hours to get to Seattle from Forks. And, as luck would have it, Emmett and Rosalie are out of town.”
I quickly gave them Bella’s address and disconnected the call.
My next call was to the director. “Hello Hal, this is Edward Masen.”
“Hello Edward, to what do I owe the honor of a phone call on your day off?” He said pleasantly.
“I’m sorry to say that I’ve just been informed of a family emergency in Seattle, and I must fly there tonight. I apologize, but it’s something that can’t be helped.” I said in a rush as I packed.
Hal was quiet for a moment. “Sorry to hear that Edward. Look, don’t worry about it. I can shift things around a little for Monday and Tuesday, shoot more of the scenes you‘re not in. Unfortunately, the shoot we have scheduled for early Wednesday would be a big pain in the ass to change, not to mention expensive. Do you think you’ll be back by then?”
“I’ll do my best Hal. If I can’t I’ll let you know tomorrow. Thanks very much for understanding.”
“Look Edward, you’re the star. I need you in a good frame of mind to do your best work. Take care of what you need to. I hope everything works out okay.”
“Me too Hal. Thanks.”
As soon as I hung up with him I called Alec. “Hello boss man.” He answered sarcastically.
“Alec, I don’t have time to explain but I’m flying to Seattle tonight. I’ll phone the driver to come get me, but I need you to make the flight arrangements while I’m on my way to the airport. I’ll need a return for Tuesday afternoon. Just text the flights to me.”
“Sure Edward. Is something wrong?” He asked with genuine concern.
“It’s Bella. She needs me.” I said, barely above a whisper.
“Dude, is she hurt?” He asked, alarmed.
“Not physically, she just had a very bad experience today, and I need to go there. I’ve cleared everything with Hal.”
I knew that Alec was dying of curiosity, but admirably he kept his questions to himself. “Alright man. Listen, I’m sorry. I hope she’s okay.”
“Thanks Alec.”
--LRM--
The flight to Seattle seemed to take forever. Once I landed, I caught a cab to Bella’s because Sidney was hundreds of miles away. He was due to arrive at my home in a couple of days with a U-Haul filled with his belongings.
Bella’s dad answered the door. “Hey Edward.” He said in a very subdued tone.
“How is she sir?” I asked quietly.
“She’s asleep, but restless.” He shook his head as he walked toward Bella‘s kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?” He asked. I somehow knew he didn’t mean a soft drink.
“Do I need one?” I asked warily.
Chief Swan sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand. “I’m not gonna lie, she’s in a bad way Edward. Thankfully, your Dad gave her a mild sedative.”
Charlie slumped down into a chair and laid his head back, looking weary.
“What can I do?” I asked, feeling desperate and useless.
“Just take care of my girl.” He replied in a weak voice, then he cleared his throat and sat up straighter. “Your parents contacted their lawyer. He’s sending over one of his ‘brightest and best’ attorneys around eleven tomorrow morning. From what he told them, she’s a real spitfire.” Charlie said quietly.
“When will Emmett and Rose get back?”
“They’re already on their way. There weren’t any flights that would get them back tonight, so they have a layover. They should arrive sometime tomorrow morning.“
“Rose has got her hands full calming down my boy. He’s ready to commit murder.” Charlie half-smiled.
“I can understand that.” I muttered.
“You know, it’s funny. All these years of being a cop I’d always heard the stories of police brutality, or whatever you want to call it, but had never run into it personally.” He said as he scrubbed his hands over his face. “This bastard ranger is something strange to me. I’ll admit that I want to hurt him for what he did to my little girl. But I also realize something more needs to be done about him, something permanent. He’s just the type of asshole that will keep hurting people until someone has the balls to stop him for good.”
“I’m hoping this fancy lawyer has the answer Edward, because if she doesn’t, I’m going to fuck up Mr. Ranger’s world.” Charlie said in a menacing voice.
Whoah. Is the Chief thinking of shooting that scumbag?
I’m actually good with that.
Realizing how late it was, I went to get a shower. Afterward, I put on my sleep pants and t-shirt before checking on Bella. She was asleep, but very restless. When I stepped back into the living room, the chief had set up the sleeper sofa and was sitting on it. He was looking down at his feet while rubbing his hands together. Without looking up at me, he spoke “I expect you to be a gentleman.” Then he shut off the lamp and laid down.
I think in his weird way, the chief just gave me permission to sleep in Bella’s bed.
I went to her bedroom and crawled in behind her, pulling her into my arms. She immediately relaxed into a restful sleep. I followed right after.
As soon as the grey dawn peeked through Bella’s window, I was awake. I went out to the kitchen and had a cup of coffee with the chief. We talked for a while. As a means of distraction, I told him how work was going on the new film. Eventually we wandered to the living room. I left him sitting there watching a morning news program, and went back to Bella’s room. She was still sound asleep. I crawled back into bed and just watched her for the next hour or so.
It was just after ten when I decided to wake her. I left a trail of soft kisses from her shoulder to her cheek. “Bella, wake up sweetheart.”
She turned to face me. “Edward”.
“I’m sorry to wake you Bella, but the lawyer will be here soon, and I thought you’d like to get a shower before that.”
“Lawyer?” She questioned.
“Yes. My parents’ lawyer is sending over one of their firm’s ’brightest and best’. “
“Oh, okay. I’ll get a quick shower.” She said as she stood.
Just as I walked into the living room, Emmett and Rose arrived.
“Where’s Bella?” Emmett asked his Dad. The poor guy looked beat to hell.
“She’s in the shower.“ I answered for the chief.
After a few minutes of Rose trying to determine how Bella was, she emerged from the bathroom. Emmett and Rose immediately enveloped her in hugs.
I heard Emmett mutter “I want to kill him Bells.”
He’s not the only one.
“Emmett, that wouldn’t be helpful. We can’t lose you. I’m just scared about what will happen in court. I never want that man to get near me again.“ She sounded so small and afraid.
Charlie, feeling the need to keep busy, fixed tea for Bella and made her eat some toast. The chief came across as such a gruff, inarticulate man, but there was so much more to him than met the eye. It was obvious that he’d do anything for his children. And now Rose was included in that circle of protection.
As I watched this man of simple means dote upon his only daughter, it suddenly became very important to me to earn his respect.
--LRM--
To say we were all impressed with the attorney sent by my parent’s firm would have been an understatement. Wendy Graham knew her job, and I was quite confident that Bella had nothing to worry about in court.
It didn’t change the fact that I still wanted to kick the Ranger’s ass.
After Wendy and her team left, Chief Swan decided to head for home. Soon after, Bella and I found ourselves alone.
“How long can you stay?” Bella asked.
“I have to fly back tomorrow afternoon, but only if you’re okay.”
“I’ll be okay.” She said. I was certain she was just trying to put on a brave face.
We spent the day holed up in Bella’s apartment, ordering in food and just vegetating. Every now and then I noticed a pained expression pass over her face, and I knew she was thinking about the ordeal she’d have to face in court.
I fought the urge to go track down that piece of shit Ranger and rip him to shreds, putting what was left througha wood-chipper.
Yeah, a little overly dramatic.
But I knew getting myself in trouble would cause Bella even more distress.
Damn it. Just when everything in our lives seems to be calm and on the right track, something like this has to happen.
By evening, Bella’s nerves had taken their toll on her well-being. I watched her warily as she fixed a pitcher of cocktails.
That’s a lot of alcohol for just the two of us.
“Are we expecting company Bella?” I asked.
“No, but you’re welcome to share.” She answered me with a smirk.
Deciding on having one drink turned out to be a very good idea. I remained sober as I watched my girl slowly get hammered. I realized that she needed to get this out of her system, so I let her ramble and scream and curse about what she’d like to do to that asshat Ranger.
I would rather her fall to pieces in front of me than alone where I wouldn’t be there to put her back together again.
The hysterical laughter followed by uncontrollable crying took me a bit by surprise, but again I tried to be supportive by just holding her as she ruined my shirt with her tears. When the exhaustion finally took hold, I put her to bed, crawling in beside her.
In the morning, I remedied her hangover as best I could and went to class with her. There was no way I was being parted from her side until I had to board that airplane later today.
The old Bella finally reemerged about halfway through the day, when she’d had more than enough of her classmates attempts at flirting with me. I laughed numerous times at the murderous glares she threw out, and lost count of how many times she gave the one-finger salute to those same flirting females.
She seemed to gain strength as the day wore on, so that by the time I had to board my plane, I was certain she’d be strong enough to handle what was to come.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to leave her. Screw the film.
The goodbye at the airport was agonizing, but made me more determined than ever to escape California for a couple days sometime soon, in order to spend time with my girl.
I needed her not only emotionally, but physically. She kept me grounded. She kept me centered. She kept me sane.
**************************************************************************************************
Chapter 21 - Valentines For The Enamored
I shuddered when I remembered what a fool I had been. Before my mind started to wander down a dark path which I had no desire to revisit, I turned my thoughts to Bella.
Bella. My beautiful Bella. The reason my outlook on everything has changed.
And the best I could do for the woman that had changed my life was send her some stupid flowers.
When I spoke with her a few minutes ago, she said she understood that I had made a commitment to this film, but deep down I knew we both yearned to spend our first real Valentine’s Day together.
On my way to the shower, my cell rang.
“Hello.”
“Hello Edward, it’s Hal. I called to let you know that because of all this rain, we’re going to have to cancel shooting for today and tomorrow. The forecast is looking good for Tuesday, so hopefully we’ll be back up and running then.”
I was elated.
Oh my God. I can go see Bella. Today.
I can make this happen.
“Sorry about your film schedule Hal, but this is fantastic news. I could kiss you right now!” I responded enthusiastically.
Hal burst into laughter. “Hey, I appreciate that kid but, just so you know, I don’t swing that way.” He continued to laugh.
I joined in his laughter. “Seriously though Hal, you’ve given me such a gift. Now I can go spend Valentine’s with my girl. Thank you.”
Hal was still chuckling. “Maybe you should thank Mother Nature. You go and have a good time Edward. I’ll see you on Tuesday.”
“Bye Hal, and thanks again.”
As I hung up, I heard some commotion downstairs in my living room.
“Edward, move your hiney. We’ve got to get you to Bella pronto.” A voice shouted up to me.
Alice.
She started throwing clothing into my suitcase. “I’ve already booked your flight, well Jasper did while I drove over here, and he’s sending a text to your phone. Get your shower, and put this on.” She said as she pushed a shirt and suit into my hands.
I showered and dressed quickly. By the time I emerged from the bathroom, Alice had finished packing my bag. She handed me my phone, displaying the text with my flight information.
“Come on, and don’t forget Bella’s present.” Alice called as she rushed out the door to her car.
I ran to my dresser and shoved the necklace I had purchased for Bella in my pocket. Because I thought we wouldn’t be spending the day together, I had intended to give it to her next time I saw her.
Alice drove me to the airport. “Should I call Bella to let her know?”
Alice grinned. “I think it would be quite a grand gesture if you surprised her brother dear.”
As usual, Alice was right.
I touched down in Seattle at approximately 1:30.
Perfect. There’s plenty of time to make arrangements for dinner.
I hailed a cab and headed straight to Bella’s. I knocked and knocked before giving up and trying Rose and Emmett’s apartment instead.
They both greeted me with surprised smiles. “Edward, what are you doing here?” Rose asked.
I shrugged my shoulders a little sheepishly. “Work’s been cancelled for a couple of days. I wanted to surprise Bella.”
“That’s fantastic. She will be thrilled!” Rose said excitedly, then she frowned. “The only problem is that she just left to have dinner with Charlie in Port Angeles. Their reservations are for five o’clock. If you hurry, maybe you can arrive right after her.” Rose ran to the kitchen and wrote the name and address of the restaurant on a piece of paper.
“Do you have a car?” Emmett asked.
“No, but I have a cab waiting. I told him I’d be out shortly to let him know what time to pick us up for dinner.“
“Dude, I’d drive you myself but we’ve made reservations that were a pain in the ass to get and ...” Emmett said apologetically.
“No Emmett, that’s fine. I’m sure the cabbie will appreciate making some extra money today.” I said as I grabbed the paper from Rose and bolted for the elevator.
“Good luck.” They both shouted after me.
After explaining things to the driver, we headed out. On our way out of the city, I spied a flower vendor and had the cabbie pull over. The vendor did a double take when he saw me. I had him put together a small bouquet of red roses and threw him a hundred dollar bill before hopping back in the cab.
While nervously watching the time, I kept throwing cash at the driver in an effort to speed things up. At five o’clock, I started to panic, until I remembered that Chief Swan had entered all his contact information into my phone.
God bless Clint Eastwood.
I dialed the Chief, he answered immediately.
“Hello.”
“Hello Chief Swan, this is Edward Cullen. Are you and Bella at the restaurant?” I asked.
“Yeah we’re here.”
“Great. It turns out that filming was cancelled for the today and tomorrow, so I flew up to surprise Bella.” I rushed out my explanation.
“Oh really?” Chief Swan sounded surprised.
“Of course when I got to the apartment, she’d already left. So I’m in a cab about fifteen minutes away from you.”
The Chief chuckled. “Well doesn’t that just figure?”
“I will be very grateful if you can stall for time.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” He answered quietly “Thanks, bye.”
“Goodbye sir.”
As promised, we pulled up in front of the restaurant less than fifteen minutes later.
The hostess seemed to go into shock when she recognized me. I just my bag to her, asking her to stow it away until I had finished dinner.
She answered with a nod as she took the bag.
I scanned the restaurant looking for my girl and spied her immediately, sitting with the Chief.
Every time I saw Bella, she took my breath away. No photos did justice to her beauty. I stood there mesmerized, unable to make my legs work.
Chief Swan noticed me before Bella did, and grinned. I watched as her eyes followed his gaze over to where I stood by the door.
An expression of absolute joy overtook her beautiful face. She sprang from her seat and flew across the room to me. As soon as she was in my arms I relaxed. She was everything I had been missing in the few days since I’d seen her last.
Our lips met in a passionate kiss, neither of us caring where we were, or that her father was watching us like a hawk.
We stayed locked in the kiss until I heard someone clear their throat.
Chief Swan. Speak of the devil.
We reluctantly broke the kiss, and Bella grabbed my hand to lead me to the table. “How are you here?” she asked.
I laughed at her bewildered expression. “After I hung up with you this morning, I got a call informing me that filming was cancelled for the next two days because of the weather. All my scenes this week take place outdoors you see. I’ve never been so damn glad to see rain in southern California.” I smiled as I realized that Bella and I were really together. On Valentine’s Day.
“Alice arrived at my house before I’d even finished the call, and threw a bag together. She forced me into this suit and drove me to the airport.”
“When I arrived at your apartment, Rose informed me that you’d just left. I kept throwing money at the cab driver to drive faster on the way here.”
“Wait a minute.” Bella turned to the Chief “Was that Edward you were talking to on the phone a while ago?”
Chief Swan got a guilty look on his face. “Yeah, I had to stall for time until he got here.”
Bella laughed. “Gosh Dad, I thought you were losing it.”
Charlie smiled. “On that note, I’m going to head out. I just remembered a football game on TV that I don’t want to miss.“
I like this man more every time I see him.
“Dad, I thought football season was over?“ Bella knew her father well.
“Well, er, Bear Grylls, I don’t want to miss Bear Grylls.“ Charlie grinned as he kissed her goodbye and shook my hand.
After the Chief left, I took a good look at my girl. She was beautiful in her red dress, but as I took in her features I realized she’d lost some weight since I’d seen her last. I had a suspicion when we talked on skype, but seeing her in person confirmed my fears.
“Bella, what have you been doing?” I asked as I grabbed her hand.
I’d be willing to bet that she’s been so nervous about the damn court case, that she’s not been eating.
“Look at you. You haven’t been eating. I suspected as much, but hoped I was wrong.”
I felt as if I’d been punched in the gut. This was unacceptable. For Bella to be this upset….once again I felt myself wanting to track down the Ranger and maim him. “Bella, you can’t do this to yourself.”
“I don’t know what to say Edward.” She whispered.
I let out a breath. “Bella, you have to promise me that you’ll eat. Please. I wouldn’t survive if anything happened to you.” She needed to understand how sincere I was about that.
She suddenly looked remorseful. “I’m so sorry Edward. I promise I’ll do better. I love you so much, I don’t want you to worry about me.”
I relaxed, but knew that I wouldn’t stop worrying about this until the court case was over. We ordered our food, and I watched as Bella attempted to eat everything on her plate. As we waited for dessert, I remembered her gift, and pulled it from my pocket.
“I didn’t think I’d be able to give this to you on Valentine’s Day. But it seems that fate had other plans.” I smiled.
“Happy Valentine’s darling.” I said as I handed it to her.
I watched as Bella’s eyes lit up at the sight of the diamond necklace. “Edward, it’s lovely.“ She smiled. “Would you help me put it on?“
I clasped it around her neck. “You know you didn’t need to get me anything. You are enough.“ She said as she held my hand. “But thank you.“
Silly girl. She has no idea how much I intend to spoil her.
--LRM--
By the next morning, Bella was a nervous wreck. We sat in the courtroom, her tiny hand in mine, waiting for the proceedings to start.
“Isabella, you can stay seated, I’ll do all the talking.” Wendy directed.
“What exactly is going to happen?” Bella asked.
“The court needs to determine that you have legal representation, and the Judge will set a court date. It should only take a few minutes.”
“Is he going to be here?” Bella asked nervously.
“Yes, unfortunately the ranger has to be here.” Wendy whispered back.
I can’t wait to lay eyes on that fucker.
“He will not come near you Bella.” I said in a forceful voice.
The courtroom began to fill, and I kept my eyes peeled for an asswipe in a ranger uniform. I knew the moment he walked in because I felt Isabella’s entire body tense beside me. She squeezed my hand to signify that it was him.
I knew that every bit of hatred I felt for that piece of shit was showing on my face as I glared at him.
I wrapped my arm tight around Bella’s shoulders. Fucktard had the nerve to look surprised when he saw us together.
Five minutes alone, that’s all I need to wipe the surprise from his stupid face.
Soon after that, the ‘prosecutor’ arrived. She was an absolute freak show. I was almost certain that we were the object of a practical joke. To say she dressed unprofessionally would be an gross understatement.
I glanced at Isabella, smirking when I realized that she was having rather ‘unkind’ thoughts about Ms. Chance.
Probably mirroring my own.
We didn’t spend a lot of time in the courtroom. The proceedings were over in a matter of minutes. I made a mental note of the trial date, March 11. Unfortunately, I was fairly certain I wouldn’t be able to get away, but that wouldn’t stop me from trying.
As we exited the courtroom, I made sure to give the ranger a ‘fuck you’ glare.
On the way to the car, Bella’s formerly fearful expression gave way to one of anger.
I looked at her questioningly. “What are you thinking Bella?”
She stopped near the car and turned to me. “I’m thinking that I’m tired of being upset about this. I’m thinking that I’ve let that piece of shit ranger ruin too many days of my life already, and I’m not going to allow him to ruin any more. I refuse to let him have that kind of power over me.”
“I’m thinking that a fat bitch in clown makeup is not going to get away with having me punished for something I didn’t do.”
“I have allowed those assholes to mess with our happiness long enough Edward. I‘m through letting evil people hurt me, because when they do that, they‘re also hurting you, and they‘re hurting my family, and that‘s unacceptable.”
“I’m going to fight. I’m going to do whatever I can to stop those two. Their sick little game ends with me.”
“We need help though, we need the expertise of someone well-versed in all the elements of revenge. We need someone who can devise and execute a plan that will be lay waste to their pathetic lives, and leave them powerless. We need Rose.”
I stood there in stunned silence as I let her words wash over me. It was unexpected, but so wonderful to hear that she wouldn’t roll over and let the bastards win. “Glad to hear it baby, let’s go.” I said with a smirk as I grabbed her hand and walked to the car.
--LRM--
After arriving at WIRI, I trailed along behind Bella as she burst into Rose’s office without knocking.
Rose was on the phone.
“Okay, sounds good.” Rose smiled while talking on her phone. “Everything is coming together beautifully. Talk to you later, okay bye Wendy.” She hung up.
Strange. Rose is speaking with Bella’s lawyer?
Rose looked at Bella before she spoke. “Well, well, well, I’m thinking that Bella finally got rid of her Little Mermaid underwear and put on her ‘big girl’ panties.”
Oh shit. Does Rose know I took those Little Mermaid panties? Emmett’s going to kick my ass.
Rose continued. “I’ve been working on something, with Wendy’s assistance, that will rock Geri Chance’s world.” She chuckled. “But not in a good way.”
Oh thank God. It seems she doesn’t know about the underwear.
“Kyle Browning is putting together the civil case against Ranger Dickhead. He’s planning to serve notice to him during your court case, make a little show of it.” She chuckled again.
“So, all you have to do Bella is sit back and enjoy the ride.”
This was good news, but Bella looked skeptical.
She looked at Bella as she continued. “The judge will believe you Bella. Now, you two go home and enjoy the rest of your afternoon.”
We left the station, and I took Bella out to lunch. After that, we went back to the apartment and relaxed for the afternoon. I held her in my arms until it was time to go.
On our way to the airport, we drove past the two paps who were still shadowing Bella’s every step. Emmett waved and blew air kisses to them.
What the hell is that about?
Bella then relayed the story of how Emmett helped her escape to the airport for the trip to Aspen, by farting on those two guys.
I stared at her for a moment, not knowing how to react, then I burst into hysterical laughter.
“What can I say? It’s a gift.” Emmett chuckled in response to my laughter.
The gift of flatulence-on-demand.
Emmett is fucking awesome.
--LRM--
Once again, we found ourselves in the shitty position of having to say goodbye at the airport.
Bella didn’t fall apart, and I was grateful for that. Our separation would be difficult, but these two days had been a gift. It would have to be enough to get us through the next few weeks.
As soon as this damn trial business was out of the way, my priority would be to plan the best spring break Bella has ever had.
Upon landing at LAX, I was bombarded by questions from a mob of paps waiting there for me.
‘Edward, there are photos of you dancing with Isabella Swan at Sylvia McGuire and Mark Sargent’s wedding.’
Damn, I didn’t realize the People issue with Sylvia and Mark’s wedding had hit newsstands.
‘Does this mean that you’ve broken up with Tanya or are you just continuing to see Isabella on the side?’
I ignored them and kept walking.
‘Edward, is Isabella more than just some random hook-up?’
‘How long do you intend to string her along?’
I realized that they only asked these questions to get a rise out of me.
Ah if I only Emmett were here. Maybe he could unleash his ‘secret weapon’ against the paps.
The thought brought a smile to my face.
****************************************************************************
Chapter 22 - Warm Love For The Impatient
Another day, another unreturned phone call from Tanya. It had been two months since I’d met with her and Felix. I’d promised to give them time, and in my opinion they’d had more than enough for her to get her shit together and make a statement.
Soon after Valentine’s Day, I’d started calling Tanya’s cell phone. Not every day, I wasn’t a complete dick. But I’d been calling her a couple times a week, with no success.
Bella had been so wrapped up in her court case that we hadn’t talked about the Tanya situation much lately, but I know the paps hadn’t left her alone and this wasn’t something that would go away until Tanya did what she promised.
I had spent most of today sleeping because we were doing night shoots all week. By late afternoon I was wide awake and pacing. I knew I couldn’t call Bella because she was meeting with Wendy, so while I waited to hear from her, I ate the dinner platter Mrs. Hernandez had left for me.
After eating, I walked to the music room, intent on playing the guitar until Bella called. I picked up my acoustic, so I’d be able to hear the phone.
Look at the ivy on the old clinging wall
Look at the flowers and the green grass so tall
It's not a matter of when push comes to shove
It's just an hour on the wings of a dove
I dig it when you're fancy dressed up in lace
I dig it when you have a smile on your face
This inspiration's got to be on the flow
This invitation's got to see it and know
It's just warm love
It's just warm love
I hadn’t gotten to the next verse before my phone rang and interrupted me.
Bella.
I set down the guitar.
“Hey sweetheart, how did your meeting go?” I asked.
“Let’s just say it went.” She said in a sarcastic tone.
“What do you mean? What happened?” I was immediately concerned.
Bella hesitated a moment before speaking. “Wendy just needed to tell me that Ms. Chance offered a plea agreement.”
I was a little afraid to ask, but did anyway. “Which was?”
“Plea guilty to assault, spend a night in jail.” She answered in a dead voice.
What. The. Fuck. ?
“WHAT?” I was livid.
“Oh and take an anger management class. I told them no, of course.”
I should hope so.
I blurted, “Christ, Bella. I can’t believe those lying assholes had the nerve to..”
“Edward, calm down. For better or worse this will all be over in ten days.” She stated too calmly.
I knew she was terribly worried, and I hoped she didn‘t stop eating again. “Everything will be fine baby, you’ll see.”
“I hope so.”
--LRM--
“These night shoots are screwing up my sleep patterns” I admitted to Jasper.
We’d gone out to eat dinner before I had to get ready and head to the studio. It had been a couple of days since Bella had met with Wendy and was offered that ridiculous plea agreement.
I filled Jasper in on the details of Bella’s court case. He shook his head in disbelief when I mentioned the plea offer. “Damn, this all sounds like something from a bad movie.”
He looked deep in thought before speaking again. “Look Edward, I have a feeling this will all work out. You guys deserve your happiness.”
I grinned at him. “Is Alice starting to rub off on you? Now you’re getting ‘feelings’.”
Jasper smirked. “Shut the fuck up and eat so we can talk business.”
We did have quite a lot of ’business issues’ to discuss. Jasper had begun to schedule some interviews and television appearances for me. None of them would happen until after filming was completed of course.
“The people from Saturday Night Live are asking again for you to host sometime next season.”
I thought about that one. I’d turned them down every time they’d asked, but now I liked having an excuse to take Bella to New York for a week.
“Tell them I’m interested, but we’d have to work around my schedule for the next film.”
Jasper’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Damn. You’re actually willing to do it?”
I nodded.
“You keep surprising the hell out of me.” Jasper said as he grinned.
Once again, the Bella Swan effect.
--LRM--
As I waited for the car to arrive to drive me to the studio, my phone rang.
Bella
I’d spoken with her earlier, and knew she was spending the evening with Rose, so I was surprised by the call.
“Hey baby, I thought you were hanging out with Rose tonight?”
“I was, I am, I…. Oh Edward I have the best news!” She said excitedly.
I smiled, her enthusiasm contagious. “What is it Bella?”
“Okay, so you remember the two paps that Emmett farted on?”
I couldn’t help it, I burst into laughter at her question. “How could I forget?” I said as I continued to snicker.
“Well, it turns out that one of them followed me to the park the day the ranger accosted me. He witnessed everything. He even has photos Edward! They back up my story entirely.”
I was ecstatic. I’d been begging, pleading and trying to coerce Hal into letting me off filming on March 11, but as nice and accommodating as the guy was, he didn’t enjoy losing money.
My next course of action would have been to go awol that day, but I knew everyone, including Bella, would be angry with me. Now it looked as if I wouldn't need to go to extremes.
“That is wonderful news Bella, the best. So what happens now?” I asked.
“Wendy is on her way to speak with us, but I think we just won the case.” I could hear the smile in her voice.
“I wish I was there with you baby. We could go out and celebrate.” I answered sadly.
“Edward, we’ll celebrate when I see you. I still have to get this court date out of the way.” She answered. “I love you Edward.”
“I love you too Bella. I’m so happy right now.”
“Me too.” She answered quietly.
--LRM--
Oscar night is a pain in the ass.
Sure I get to rub elbows with the ‘elite’ of Hollywood. I’ll probably meet an idol or two of mine, maybe even one I haven’t met before. I’ll have my photo taken with actors, directors, and musicians. I’ll be interviewed and told how ‘talented’ I am and how much I deserved an award for my last film, but alas, didn’t even receive a nomination.
I’ll smile and play the part just as I’ve always done, but my heart won’t be in it.
The afore-mentioned heart, will remain where it has been for months now, in the keeping of a beautiful brunette in an apartment in downtown Seattle.
By the time I’d thrown Christopher and his two assistants out, I didn’t have long to wait for the car to arrive. I liked Chris, but he was exactly like Alice, and on Oscar night it was difficult to be around either of them.
I’d long ago stopped allowing my sister to come over while I got ready for the big night, because her nervousness was contagious. Thinking it would be better having Chris here as my stylist, turned out to be an epic mistake.
He freaked the fuck out about everything, driving his assistants and me to distraction. By the time they left I had a throbbing headache.
Two Tylenol later, I decided to phone Bella while waiting for the car.
“Hey baby.”
“Hi Edward.” She breathed.
God I miss her.
“When do you have to leave?” She asked.
“A car will be here to pick me up in about a half hour.”
“When the awards show is over, I have to attend two after-parties, I’ll call you when I get home.” I added.
“You sound tired.” She remarked.
“Well, as you’re aware the filming schedule has been grueling. I’m glad I have tomorrow off. Although I’d rather it be Thursday.” I said.
I desperately wanted to be there for Bella’s court date.
“No, Edward. I’m glad you can’t try to do a one-day trip like that. You’d be even more exhausted. You’re going to get sick.” She scolded.
“You sound like my mother.” I chuckled.
“When are you going to realize that your mother is always right?” Bella laughed.
Knowing that she worried about me, even though we were so far apart, meant so much.
“Thank you.” I said quietly.
“For what?” Bella asked.
“For worrying about me, for being you. I love you Bella.”
“I love you too.”
“I wanted to ask you something.”
“Yes?”
“Next year would you be my date for the Academy Awards?” I smiled as I asked. Having Bella with me would make this something to look forward to, rather than something I merely tolerated.
“I would be honored Mr. Movie Star.”
--LRM--
As I exited the limo with Alec and Sidney in tow, and began my trek down the red carpet, I realized that this was the first time I’d attended anything ‘dateless’ in years.
After my blowup at the offices of Plateau studios, I’d had lunch with Herb and Sal in order to apologize.
During that lunch, I made it clear that I was in a committed relationship, and would never again be escorting anyone other than Bella to anything.
They were stunned, but had no choice other than to accept my statement in silence.
I make them millions of dollars every year. They’d damn well better not argue about this.
Now, as I walked the red carpet, the only thing on my mind was the fact that next year Bella had agreed to be with me.
Alec directed me to the line of reporters looking for a sound byte. I didn’t mind it very much, because I knew that Bella was watching from home.
I stood waiting for the standard questions. These reporters knew not to ask about my personal life unless they wanted me to walk away, so everything remained fairly predictable.
Shari Dean was a bit of a bubble head, but had always been polite.
“I’m here with Edward Masen. Star of Time Stands Still. Now Edward, a lot of people felt that you should have been nominated for your performance in that movie.“
“I appreciate that Shari, and I appreciate the fans that support all my movies. The nominees for best actor all gave outstanding performances, and I wouldn’t want to be the one to take the nomination away from any of them. There’s always next year.“ I gave Shari a smile and winked for extra effect.
After that, Shari seemed to lose her train of thought and the interview was over fairly quickly.
Why are people so predictable?
I chuckled to myself as I was ushered inside. As soon as I saw Tanya and the empty seat beside her, I knew where the usher was leading me.
Damn Plateau Studios. They still found a way to make it look like I had a date.
Tanya plastered on her fake smile, which I’d seen a hundred times, as I took the vacant seat.
“Hello Edward.” She said through clenched smiling teeth. “Don’t seem so surprised. We’re presenting together also, just in case no one informed you.”
I sighed and shook my head. I wasn’t as willing to act for the cameras as she was, instead I looked at her incredulously as I asked “Why the hell haven’t you returned any of my phone calls?”
“Edward, please not here.” Still speaking through her perfect capped teeth.
I sighed loudly and lowered my voice. “It seems to me that you’ve had more than enough time to do what you promised Tanya.”
“Edward, stop. I just needed to get past tonight, it would have been a publicity nightmare for everyone involved if I’d made my statement before now.”
That was true. Something like that would have overshadowed the entire award show to some extent.
“Okay, I’ll grant you that Tanya. Just promise me soon.” I whispered.
“I promise.” She whispered back.
“How’s Felix?” He’d been my friend for a long time, and I missed talking to him.
She smiled a genuine smile as she answered. “He’s good. He’s been so busy making plans for once the ….. um once we’re past all this public statement business.” Her smile disappeared and her face grew pale. She covered her mouth with her hand as she mumbled “Excuse me Edward, I need to leave for a moment.“ Then she bolted from the seat.
Later, Tanya and I were ushered backstage in preparation to present the award for best original song. As we stood there, Tanya suddenly became ill and had to leave again.
She arrived back just before we were ushered on stage.
“We’re here to present the award for best original song.” I said.
“I don’t know about you Edward, but I stand in awe of the musically gifted.” Tanya read her lines.
Funny. All the years we’ve know each other and she has no clue about my musical ability.
I just nodded my head in agreement.
We presented the award and left the stage. “Tanya are you okay?” I asked, concerned for her health.
“I’ve been ill for a while. Don’t worry Edward, I’m seeing a… specialist about this next week. I’m sure I’ll be fine.“
I returned to my seat, but Tanya must have been feeling sick again, because I didn’t see her any more for the rest of the night.
The after-parties that I attended were better than usual. I was able to talk with Hal for a little while. I really liked the guy, and I couldn’t say that about every director I’d worked with.
“Edward my boy how are you?” Hal was a little tipsy.
“I’m good Hal.”
“So Edward, I’ve got to ask. What the hell is going on? I’ve seen your face when you speak about the girl in Seattle, and I know you're in love with her. But tonight you were sitting next to Tanya Madison. What gives son?”
Wow, Hal is nosey when he’s drinking.
“Hal, I’m not at liberty to speak about that right now. Suffice it to say that Bella is the love of my life, and everyone will know that soon.”
I’d had enough of these damn parties. I sent a text to Alec to have the driver bring the car around. I nodded to Sidney, and we made our way out the door.
--LRM--
“Did you have a chance to speak with Tanya at the award show?” Bella asked.
We were chatting on skype.
“I tried, but she kept leaving, she was really sick. I was afraid that I’d end up presenting the award alone.”
“What was wrong with her?” Bella asked.
“I don’t know. Hopefully nothing serious, but she did abuse her body pretty severely when she was using drugs. I voiced my concern, but she informed me that she was going to see a specialist next week.”
“Oh. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t come forth with a statement yet. Could it be that she’s been sick?”
“Maybe. I’m really starting to get impatient with this situation. It puts you in such a bad light, and I’m sorry for that.”
“Edward stop worrying about me please.”
“I can’t help it. I know I said I’d give Tanya and Felix time, but it’s been two months. This is getting ridiculous.”
“Why don’t you say something to the press then?” She asked.
“It would never work Bella. Without Tanya to back me up, I’d just look like a worse bastard than I already do.”
She thought about that. “Well let’s hope she’s planning something soon, for both our sakes.”
--LRM--
The internet and tabloids went crazy after Tanya and I appeared at the Oscar’s ‘together’. The stories about Bella became more and more criticizing and mean.
She certainly didn’t need this during the same week she had go to court.
It broke my heart to think about how Bella was being painted as the ‘other woman’.
My sweet Bella. The truest and kindest person I've ever known, was thought to be no better than a gold-digging home-wrecking tramp.
If they only knew the truth, they would understand that no one else has ever captured my heart the way my beautiful Bella has. And no one ever will.
******************************************************************************************
Chapters 23&24 - Crash And Burn
Thursday, March 11I was on pins and needles. Today was Bella’s day in court, and I wanted to be with her. It wasn’t that I had any doubt that she’d win. The victory was a foregone conclusion. I just wanted to be with her to support her. And maybe a small part of me wanted to see the Ranger’s face when his world crashed and burned around him.
All the pent-up aggression was getting to me, so I did some kick-boxing this morning in place of my regular work out. It had definitely helped, but I was still feeling rather anti-social.
Isabella finally called while I was in my trailer, on break, hiding from the world.
“Hey Beautiful, is the trial over already?”
“Yep. Are you on break now? Do you have a minute to talk?” Bella asked in a hurry.
“I‘m in my trailer, I have to go back on set in a few. So tell me about it.” I urged.
Bella sighed. “Let’s just say that the Ranger and Geri Chance have had better days.”
“But hey, the day may not be a total loss for Geri. She was dressed for a little disco dancing. Maybe she’ll find some guy who’s drunk out of his mind and get lucky.” Bella said with a laugh.
My bad mood evaporated as soon as I heard that laugh, and I couldn’t help but join in.
“Look, I won’t keep you. I’m heading to class and I know you’re going back on set. I just wanted to hear your voice, and tell you we won sweetie. I love you.” She whispered.
“I love you too Beautiful. Talk to you tonight.”
--LRM--
To say that the night shoot was the most grueling part of filming for this movie would be a lie. The most grueling part was happening this week and next: The simulation of the taking of a beachhead at Normandy on D-day.
Every evening I returned home exhausted, but one day closer to seeing Bella again. Hal estimated that my part of the L.A. filming would be completed sometime next week.
I’d been working my ass off in an attempt for each scene to be perfect on our first try. It wasn’t always a realistic goal, but we’d already finished several scenes ahead of schedule, so I was hoping it would pay off.
Even if it only shaved a half day off of my schedule, it would be worth it.
--LRM--
“Edward” Alec shouted as he came barreling through the door to my trailer.
“What the hell Alec?” I answered, annoyed that he’d startled me.
“Sorry.” He looked a little sheepish. “No sense putting this off.” He said before proceeding to drop three gossip rags in front of me on the table.
“I know how you hate these, but I thought you’d probably still want to know.”
“Fuck” I muttered as I read the headlines.
“Yeah” Alec agreed. “It seems that our old friend Tanya is pregnant. A so-called friend of hers leaked the information to the press.”
And of course until Tanya comes forward it will be assumed that the baby is mine.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Edward and Tanya, reunited just in time for baby, while ’the other woman’ licks her wounds in Seattle.
All is forgiven. Pregnant Tanya takes back repentant Edward. Are there wedding bells in the near future?
Tanya’s ultimatum to Edward: give up Isabella, or never see your child!
“Oh dear God, I’ve got to call Bella” I tried her number and it went straight to voicemail.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
If Bella sees these she is going to freak out. I tried her number again. Still no luck.
At least this explains Tanya’s behavior on Oscar night.
This pregnancy news made it impossible for me to come forward with any kind of statement denying a relationship with Tanya. I was basically at her mercy, because she’s the only one the public would believe.
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Filming continued for another couple of hours. I tried Isabella’s phone every time I had a chance. She still wasn’t answering.
I was beginning to have flashbacks to the horrible day she thought I’d lied to her and returned to Tanya.
There was no way I could go through that again.
On the way home I pulled at my hair so much that I was certain I’d need Rogaine before my next birthday. The sound of my phone ringing pulled me from my misery.
Bella.
“Oh my God sweetheart, where have you been?” I couldn’t hide the worry in my voice.
“Relax Edward, I just forgot to charge my phone.” She replied calmly.
“I guess you heard?” I asked.
“Saw the headlines while in line at the grocery store.” Bella stated flatly.
I groaned. “Bella, we just can’t catch a break.”
“Edward, I’m starting to think that Tanya is never going to come forward. I think we need to come up with an alternate plan.” She suggested.
It wasn’t fair for me to allow Tanya to keep stringing things along like this. It had been well over two months since she made her promise.
“Let me talk to Jasper. Maybe we can come up with something. I don’t want you to worry.” I said quietly.
Bella started asking questions about her L.A. trip. I was happy to drop the Tanya subject.
“Are you really going to stay with Alice?” I asked.
“Yes Edward. She’s the one who invited me, not you.” Bella teased.
“Bella…you have to stay with me part of the time at least, and I‘d like to take you to Laguna Beach.” I pleaded.
“My boyfriend might get jealous Mr. Movie Star. He has a little bit of a temper.”
“Miss Swan, let me handle your boyfriend.” I answered. “I can’t wait to see you again baby. It’s been so long.”
--LRM--
I could feel her soft warm body lying next to me. I slid closer and slipped my arms around her tiny waist, pulling her close. Her back to my front.
One hand held her to me as I gently skimmed the other one down her thigh until I reached the bottom of her chemise and slipped beneath.
My hand continued to travel upward, my fingertips ghosting across Bella’s flat stomach and continuing its journey until I ever so gently touched the underside of her breast.
I’d never touched Bella’s breast before, and I had no intention of stopping now. She reached up and back in order to run her fingers through my hair.
I kissed her neck and across her shoulder as I gently nudged her strap down with my chin.
Our breath was coming in pants as I kissed her shoulder. I moved the hand at her breast and gently grazed the nipple with my thumb. Bella gasped in response.
“Bella“ I whispered, “I love you, I want you, say you want this too.” I murmured into her ear.
“Edward, I’ve wanted you ever since I saw your naked ass in September Ends. I think we should hump like bunnies.”
Wow that was blunt, but so Bella…
I chuckled, as I continued to run my hands over Bella’s soft bare skin. She turned to face me and I placed my hand over her heart.
“Feel how quickly your heart is beating. Is that for me Bella?”
“Only for you Edward.”
I slipped both straps off of Bella’s shoulders, and started to peel the garment down her body.
My God she was lovely. “Bella, you’re so beautiful, more beautiful than I even imagined.”
I wrapped my arms around her and leaned in for a gentle kiss. The kiss soon became heated as Isabella clutched the muscles of my back. I pulled my shirt off to give her better access. Bella gently slipped her hands under my sleep pants until they rested on each of my ass cheeks.
She began to murmur “Mr. Masen”
Why would she call me that?
Suddenly Emmett burst through the door. I pulled Bella against me to cover her. “What do you think you’re doing Masen?” Emmett boomed. “Trying to take advantage of my sister?” he said angrily as he got closer. “You asked for it. This is how I deal with anyone trying to hurt Bella.”
And then Emmett farted. On me.
My eyes flew open only to find the flight attendant bent over me gently nudging my shoulder while calling my name.
What the fuck?
“Oh Mr. Masen, I’m glad you’re awake. We’re just about to land in Seattle, I need you to fasten your seat belt.”
I couldn’t believe it.
I never fall asleep on airplanes.
On top of that, I never had ‘sex dreams’. Although if they all starred Isabella and were as pleasant as the one I’d just had, I’d wish for them every night.
Jesus, I hope I didn’t talk in my sleep.
Being that this was a private plane that I’d hired for the express purpose of getting me to Seattle as quickly as possible, I was the only passenger. I studied the flight attendant for a couple of minutes. I didn’t notice any strange looks aimed in my direction, therefore I felt it was safe to assume that my ‘sex dream’, thankfully, involved no sleep talking.
Upon reaching the apartment, I knocked on Bella’s door, but there was no answer. Normally, I wouldn’t dare disturb Emmett and Rosalie at this early hour, but I was desperate to find Bella.
Rose answered their door with a scowl on her face, obviously just having woken up. She tried to smile when she saw me, but it came out as a grimace. I didn’t even get to ask my question before she blurted. “She’s with Emmett in the fitness room.” Then she closed the door in my face.
I navigated my way downstairs, locating the fitness room easily. The door was open, and I could hear voices as I approached.
“just drop it.”
That sounded like Bella.
As I entered the open doorway, I spied Bella and Emmett. I was just about to speak when Emmett suddenly boomed. “BELLS! WERE YOU HAVING A SEX DREAM?”
I was startled and immediately taken back to my own dream on the airplane. I cleared my throat, trying to make my presence known.
The look on Bella’s face was priceless, and I couldn’t help but chuckle at her embarrassment.
“Edward!” She shouted as she ran to me. “What happened? I didn’t think you’d be done for a couple more days.”
“I finished my scenes late last night. I’ve had my bag packed for two days hoping this would happen. I hired a private plane to fly me up here early this morning.” I explained.
Emmett walked over and shook my hand. “Hey Andy, how’s it going?”
Andy? Knowing Emmett, there’s some bizarre reason that he’s chosen to call me by a different name.
“I’m very happy to see you Edward“, Bella corrected her brother as she glared at him. She turned to look at me “but you look exhausted. You need to get some sleep.” She grabbed my hand, leading me out of the room.
It didn’t take long to fall asleep. As I started to doze, surrounded by the scent of Bella on the sheets and pillowcases, I silently wished that by some miracle, my dream from the plane would return.
It never did. Instead, a couple hours later I awoke from a restful, albeit dreamless, sleep.
Still feeling a bit tired, I opted to stay around Bella’s apartment all day rather than go visit my parents.
Around midday my phone rang. I glanced at the screen before answering it and almost choked.
Tanya.
I hadn’t spoken with her since the night of the Academy Awards. Just as before, she had continued to ignore my phone calls. Until today.
“Hello” I said warily.
“Hello Edward” She answered in a quiet voice. “I just called to say how sorry I am that the news of my pregnancy got out. It wasn’t supposed to be made public until after I made my statement.”
“And when will that be Tanya?” I tried to keep the irritation I was feeling out of my voice.
Tanya sighed. “I’ve been preparing what I will say, my lawyer has been advising me.” She said. “Give me another week Edward.”
“Another week! Tanya do you realize the hell that we, especially Bella, have been through because of you dragging your feet? Do not ask my permission to keep hurting the woman I love.”
“Edward, I never meant for this to happen. I feel awful for what you and Bella have gone through.” Tanya choked out. “I don’t know what else to do.” She was crying softly as she spoke.
I feel like an asshole for making a pregnant woman cry.
“God, Tanya, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that I’m so frustrated.”
Tanya sniffled. “I understand Edward, and I’m sorry too. It’s just that I have my baby to think about. My lawyer stressed that I need to tell the truth without incriminating myself. The worst part is that I know the fans will hate me. It’s not something I’m used to Edward.“ She laughed darkly.
“I’m a selfish person, but I’m working on it.” She said in a low voice. “Anyway, I’ll let you go.”
“Alright Tanya. I‘ll give you the week but if something isn‘t done by then, I‘ll have to take matters into my own hands.” I said quietly. “Thank you for calling.”
“I understand, and you’re welcome Edward. I’ll keep my promise. One more week. Goodbye.”
My head was spinning after that call, and I decided the only cure would be seeing my girl.
I took a cab to the University and waited outside her last class of the day.
The hostility from the students as they walked past was palpable. The only reason I could fathom for this behavior was the news about Tanya.
These people need to get a fucking life.
When Bella exited the classroom, we made a speedy trek to her car, hoping to escape the glares and nasty remarks as quickly as possible.
“Edward, this was a bad idea, you shouldn’t have come here.” She whispered while on our way to her car. “This is going to cause you problems.”
“I don’t give a shit what they do to me Bella, but I don’t want anyone to mess with you. I wasn’t even thinking. These people view me as Tanya’s baby daddy, and now I’m here with you….good God the hostility is rolling off of them in waves.”
By this time we were leaving the parking lot. A small crowd had gathered around to watch us go.
“That was scary. I don’t want you going anywhere else without a bodyguard.” She demanded.
“Okay, but I need to make sure you’re safe too. Has anyone bothered you since the pregnancy story broke?” I asked.
“No, Edward. It’s been fine.” She said.
I hope that's the truth.
“Tanya finally returned my calls.” I told her.
“What did she say?”
I went on to relay my conversation with Tanya, ending with Tanya‘s concerns about the fallout from her fans over all the lies she‘d told.
“Do you think it will be bad?” Bella asked.
“I really don’t know. Fans are so fickle. They can love you one moment, hate you the next, but also be very forgiving. It’s a weird dynamic.”
“I told her I’d give her the week. If she doesn’t do anything by then Bella, Jasper’s going to tip off the reporters about her and Felix’s marriage. It would be easy for them to get a copy of the marriage certificate.”
“I think she’ll do the right thing, she’s now aware that I’m not backing down.” I added.
“Edward, it will be okay. Always remember that we’ve both lived through worse.”
True
--LRM--
That night, I held Bella in my arms as sleep eluded me.
Thinking that Bella had fallen asleep, I was startled when she whispered.
“I’m sorry.”
“Bella you have nothing to apologize for.” I soothed.
I knew she was feeling insecure about halting my attempts to further our physical relationship. I needed to make her understand that I had no expectations where that was concerned.
We would get there when we got there, and not before Bella was ready.
Everything was quiet again when she suddenly chuckled.
I looked at her questioningly. “What?”
She cleared her throat, “Nothing, just thinking about how goofy my brother is.”
I thought about that. “Yeah, speaking of Emmett, and knowing that I’ll probably regret asking but, why exactly does your brother keep calling me Andy?”
“It’s because of Andy Stitzer.”
“Who?” I asked. Having no idea.
“Edward, Andy Stitzer is the name of Steve Carell’s character in the for-”
“The 40 year old Virgin.” I groaned as understanding dawned on me. “I should have seen that one coming.”
“Sorry, Emmett lives to embarrass himself and others.” Bella grinned.
Which reminded me of his statement this morning.
“By the way.” I smirked. “What was that Emmett mentioned about a sex dream?”
I just hope that I was the star of Bella’s dream, as she was the star of mine.
“Wipe that smirk off your face right now Edward Cullen. Emmett was just teasing me about my sleep-talking.” She said defensively.
I’m not quite sure I’m buying it.
“Well, maybe I’ll be lucky enough to get a ‘repeat performance’.” I grinned wickedly as I pulled her close.
--LRM--
After the events of yesterday, I promised Bella that I would hire a bodyguard for my trips to Seattle. I contacted Sidney’s company, and they sent someone out to meet me. Lou was a great guy, with a solid law enforcement background. He would start working for me as of tomorrow.
Soon after Bella left for school, Jasper phoned.
“Edward, I have to let you know that a lot of shit is on the internet today. There are photos of you with Bella. The websites have gone crazy demonizing both of you, but they’re harsher toward Bella.”
Damn it.
“Okay. Thanks for letting me know Jasper.” I sighed.
“You gonna be okay Edward?” Jasper knew me well.
“I guess. I spoke with Tanya yesterday, she promises to make her statement in a week.”
“Well that’s something at least.” Jasper said hopefully.
“Yeah. I just wonder if it will be ‘too little too late’.”
“Keep a positive attitude Edward. Everything will work out.” Jasper tried to cheer me up.
“Thanks Jasper. Listen, I’ve got to go, I’ll talk to you later.”
I needed to get off the phone and see what kind of crap they were saying on the internet.
“Okay.” Jasper answered skeptically. “Bye Edward.”
“Bye.”
Jasper was right, the shit was bad. The things that people were saying about Isabella was offensive, cruel, and in some cases borderline threatening. After about twenty minutes of viewing site after site of that garbage I was heartsick.
And angry.
Somehow I knew this would happen. I have brought nothing but misery to Bella since the day we met. I had hoped that things would improve, that the publicity would die down, but every day it seemed to get worse.
She doesn’t deserve this.
My mother called, no doubt she’d heard about the shit on the internet. I refused her offer for lunch, not wanting to drag her down with my miserable mood.
The same thing happened when Emmett tried to get me to leave the apartment. I was in no mood to be around people right now.
Bella had phoned a couple times during the day, but only spoke for a minute. If the poor treatment she’d received from the other students had escalated since yesterday, she never let on.
Sometime after three, Bella called to say she was running a little late because she was working on a project with a couple of friends, and she didn’t want me to worry.
She had never mentioned any friends, but I was glad to know she wasn’t alone.
As soon as Bella walked through the door a little while later, I knew something was wrong. My worry only increased when Emmett followed her in.
“Bella what the hell happened? You look ..”
“I’m pretty sure that I look like shit right now Edward. You don’t have to tell me.” She said with an edge to her voice. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I have to tell you something and I know you’re going to get upset.”
I frowned. “Just tell me Bella.” I answered in an even voice.
“A person, or persons, vandalized my car today.” She announced in a flat voice.
What?
I took a deep breath. “Tell me exactly what they did Bella.”
She cleared her throat. “They slashed my tires and wrote on the side of the car.“ She was still trying to stay calm. Emmett put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him.
I should be the one doing that, but I’m too fucking angry.
“What did they write Bella?” I seethed. I hated having to pull this out of her.
She shrugged her shoulders and let out a breath. “Slut” she said simply.
I knew this was because of our relationship.
“So what you’re saying is that it wasn’t just a random attack. Once again, bad things are happening to you because of me.”
“Dude, you need to calm down. The police are involved, they’ll find out who it was. Blaming yourself doesn’t seem like the most helpful route right now.” Emmett interjected.
“Don’t tell me to calm down. Don’t tell me that it’s not my fault. You know damn well that this wouldn’t have happened if all this bullshit with Tanya had been straightened out a long time ago.” I blasted. “Or better yet if I’d never agreed to it in the first place.”
I took a few breaths while Emmett eyed me warily.
“Look Emmett, I’m sorry. I do agree that my self-loathing isn’t going to help Bella right now.” Then I turned toward Bella “The most important thing is your safety. I hired a new bodyguard today. So, as of tomorrow, Lou will be escorting you to and from school and work.”
She opened her mouth as if to argue. Emmett stopped her. “Look Bells, I was on the phone with Dad while you spoke with the police. He thinks you need protection, and I agree with him.”
She looked at me sheepishly then. “Okay, I’ll agree to the bodyguard, but Edward, I don’t want him sitting in on my classes.”
“Bella, that would be safest for you.” I began to argue.
“Edward, I won’t agree to the bodyguard unless you promise me he won’t sit in on my classes.” She demanded.
She was so damn stubborn.
I growled in defeat. “Alright, but so help me if there are any more incidents, no matter how small Isabella, Lou will be stuck to you like glue.”
She just nodded her head.
After dinner, we sat in the living room each of us working on our laptops. Alec had sent an e-mail advising of the status of the Mustang restoration. He had located a car within a week of my request. It was now in a body shop in southern California in the process of being restored.
At least that was one thing to be happy about.
Isabella was restless, and kept eyeing me while I answered my e-mails. Finally she spoke. “Edward, it’s only a car. I’ll survive.”
Unfortunately, because of my black mood, it was precisely the wrong thing to say. “Bella, it could very well have been you that they attacked, can’t you see that? You can’t keep hiding your head in the sand. You need to take this seriously. I didn’t want to show you this, but look.”
And then like a fool, I pulled up one of the websites I had viewed earlier, and turned the screen toward her. I wasn’t even thinking of how this would affect her, I just wanted her to take these threats seriously.
After a moment, I watched as Bella’s eyes filled with tears.
I am such a bastard.
I closed the laptop and set it on the coffee table as I reached for her. “Oh God Bella. I’m so, so, sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I moaned as I held her. “I’ve been so worried, and then when this happened today, I just lost it. Please, please forgive me.” I said as I pressed my face into her neck.
“Edward there’s nothing to forgive, you didn’t write those hurtful words.” She answered as she tried to pull herself together.
I will never forgive myself for making her cry again.
The rest of the evening passed quietly.
The next day after sending Bella off to school with Lou, I decided to meet my mother for lunch.
“Edward, you look tired.” She said as she studied my face.
“Just a little worried Mother.” I tried to avoid the reasons for my weariness.
“Edward, I know how you are. Stop punishing yourself over this mess. You can’t change the past.”
I heard her words, but they didn’t do much to change the way I felt.
“Listen to me son. Your number one concern should be building a future with Bella. Stop being distracted by these sensational stories. You know better than anyone that this will blow over.”
I wanted to believe my mother, unfortunately by this time I had convinced myself that even when Tanya told the truth it wouldn’t change anything. There were too many people that hated and vilified Bella. I couldn’t see them changing their minds.
They’d destroyed her fucking car for Christ’s sake.
That afternoon I was trying to relax and improve my state of mind when I received a text from Alice.
E-
Turn on BNCC News channel. There’s a repeat showing of a story they had on earlier today about Bella. Make sure she doesn’t see it Edward.
-Ali
I quickly turned on the program Alice was referring to, already in progress…
The video you just saw was of Jeffrey Dryden. Mr. Dryden is currently serving a life sentence in a prison in Arizona for the rape and murder almost seven years ago of Renee Swan. Renee, if you aren’t aware, was the mother of Isabella Swan, the on again, off again love interest of Edward Masen.
Our reporters have been investigating this story for some time now and hope to shed some light on exactly who Isabella Swan is.
We have discovered that Isabella, who was present during the rape and murder of her mother, and witnessed everything, was herself, injured in the ordeal.
Vultures. Alice is right, I cannot let her see this.
We have with us today the sister and brother of Jeffrey Dryden. Michelle Thomas and Jason Dryden. Michelle and Jason have agreed to come on the program to give us information about Ms. Swan that, up until now, the general public has not been made aware of.
Before we begin, I must stress that our program and our sponsors are in no way responsible for and do not necessarily agree with, the opinions of our guests, even though some of our viewers may.
Let’s start with you Michelle. We know that your brother and Renee Swan dated when she and Isabella live in Florida. I’m aware that you knew them both at that time. What can you tell us about the Isabella you knew?
The woman, Michelle, began to speak.
Well, I always felt that that little missy led my brother on, she wanted him. Poor Jeff is sick, he’s not right mentally. Isabella was like that Lolita girl. She made him do crazy things. I don’t think he wanted to kill her mother. She probably wanted her Mother dead, less competition for the men. She’s now got her hooks in Edward Masen and is making him do crazy things like abandoning his baby, she‘s trouble.
This bitch is insane.
I couldn’t listen anymore. Bella had texted earlier that she was on her way to WIRI. I had to get there and make sure she didn’t see this. I grabbed my phone and called a cab.
I raced through the studio only to find Bella’s cubicle empty. Proceeding on to Rose’s office, I heard Bella’s sobs before I even saw her.
When I did see her, it broke my heart. She was curled up in Rose’s arms on the sofa crying her heart out.
Each sob stabbed my heart. Each tear made me want to hold her in my arms, but my feet were frozen in place as I watched from the doorway.
After she calmed, she looked up with bleary eyes and saw me.
“How long have you been there?” She asked.
“A while.” I answered sadly.
She climbed off the sofa and stood, Rose with her.
Rose placed her hands on either side of Bella’s face. “Bella, listen to me. Nothing anyone says can hurt you. You went through Hell already honey and you survived. You have to live your life, Renee would want nothing less.”
“Look, Edward is going to take you home now. I’ll check on you later okay.” Rose said as she kissed Bella’s cheek.
“Thanks Rose.”
I walked over and held her for a few minutes before leading her to the car. It was a quiet ride, which gave me time to think.
As long as I’m with her, this will continue to happen. It’s only a matter of time before she realizes this.
Emmett was waiting in the living room when we got back. He immediately pulled her into his arms. After he was certain that she was okay, he went back to his own apartment.
Bella’s family loves her very much. They will take care of her just as they did before I arrived and screwed up her life.
We ate a quiet dinner. Bella fell asleep on the sofa and I carried her to bed.
She tossed and turned all night and woke up screaming more than once from the nightmares brought about by reliving the worst day of her life.
Because of me.
I did not sleep, preferring instead to keep vigil over the love of my life in her agony. I had no doubt in my mind that the time was coming when Bella would not be able to take any more. The love she felt for me now would eventually turn to resentment for the pain and disruption I’d caused in her life. I couldn’t sit around and wait for the day that she would eventually leave me.
My mind was made up. With me gone, Bella’s life would return to normal.
Yes, she would be sad at first, but eventually, when everything calmed, and the intrusive paps left her alone, maybe she could find it in her heart to forgive what I’d done to her.
As Bella slept fitfully, I phoned the airline and changed my flight. I then silently packed my suitcase.
When she woke up, she could barely look me in the eye.
It’s already begun. She must truly hate me for what I’ve caused.
She was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea. I grabbed my suitcase, took a deep breath and rounded the corner.
Time to become Edward Masen.
She looked puzzled.
In a flat voice, I said “Bella, we need to talk.”
She just looked at me.
“Bella, I think it best if I leave early today. It will just make things worse if we fly together tonight.”
“Okay, um, I’d rather fly with you, but I guess if you’re waiting for me when I land, that would be alright.”
That won’t be happening.
“Bella, I’ve decided to go ahead and fly to London as soon as I can. I’m going home to pack my things and head straight out.” I was the actor. I was Edward Masen. I could not let her know that this was killing me inside.
She started to look worried. “Edward. Don’t you dare blame yourself for what happened today. Camille is a bitch. She planned that entire incident, and got the reaction she wanted.”
So it was Camille that set Bella up.
“Bella don’t you realize that if I weren’t in your life, none of this would be happening. The press wouldn’t be hounding you. The park ranger wouldn’t have tried to molest you. Your tires wouldn’t be slashed. Those evil people on the television program would never have gotten their fifteen minutes of fame today! It’s because of me that this is happening. I can’t, I won’t let it continue.”
“Edward, as soon as Tanya makes her statement everything will be fine, you’ll see. If you want to separate until then, I won’t like it, but I’ll understand. But please, please don’t leave me like this.” She said in a panicky voice.
“There will always be something for them to hound you about Bella. They will always bring up your past to hurt you. I can’t risk hurting you any more. If I’m not in your life, they will leave you alone.”
“Edward, you will be the one hurting me if you leave, not them.”
It will seem like that at first, but eventually she will understand.
“When I’m gone, you’ll be able to go back to a normal life Bella, that’s all I want for you.“ I continued. “You should still go to Alice’s, she’s looking forward to it.” I drew in a shaky breath, my façade starting to crack. “Lou is taking me to the airport, and he’ll be back to take you to school right after.”
“Edward, the only time I’ve had a normal life is with you. Please stay.” She whispered desperately while clutching my arms.
How could I go through with this?
I have to, in order to save her.
I gently pried her hands loose. “I’m sorry Bella.” I whispered. “I love you.” I kissed her forehead and forced my legs to take me out of that apartment before I changed my mind.
On the way to the airport my phone rang. “Hello.”
“Edward, I promise you that I will kick your stupid ass for this.” My sister announced.
“Alice, just… don’t.” I whispered.
“I don’t know what you are thinking, but you need to fix this. Where are you right now?”
“I’m on my way back to L.A.. I’ve decided to leave for England as soon as possible.”
“Edward! You are the most frustrating person I’ve ever known. Don’t you dare leave for England until I’ve seen you. Is Bella still coming tonight?”
“I don’t think so Ali.” I whispered.
“I’m working late because I thought you and Bella would stay at your place tonight.” She paused for a minute. “Go home and get some rest, I‘ll come over after work.”
“No Alice. Come over tomorrow and we’ll talk then.” I said quietly.
“Okay. Don’t do anything stupid.”
It was too late for that.
I barely remembered the rest of the ride to the airport and the flight back to L.A. By the time I landed, I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I also knew that there was no way to fix it.
I kept remembering the devastated look on Bella’s face.
She will never forgive me. She will never take me back.
I made Sidney stop at a liquor store on the way from the airport. After arriving home, I thought back to Alice’s words, and I fought the urge to start drinking. Instead, I retrieved my laptop from my carryon and proceeded to surf every website that contained hurtful stories about Bella. It turned out to be a more effective punishment than getting blind drunk would have been.
My self-loathing increased with each click of the mouse, and by the time evening had arrived, more precisely the hour in which Bella and I would have landed in L.A. together, I gave up the fight, and pulled out the first bottle of whiskey.
Sometime the next morning, although I had no idea of exactly what time it was, I called a cab to take me to the airport. Even in my inebriated state, I knew that Sidney would have stopped me from going if he had known.
After the cab dropped me off, I shuffled inside, all the while trying to make my mind focus on exactly why I had come here. As soon as I stepped through the doors, I was met with the blinding flash of cameras. I stumbled over to the nearest wall and hid my face as I leaned against it.
There is no way in hell I will give these fuckers their ’money shots’ today.
In my stupid drunken state I was defenseless. No bodyguard, not even Alec was with me to help navigate this bullshit. I was just about ready to turn around and leave again when the shouting began:
‘Edward, so you’ve finally given up on the little Lolita in favor of Tanya?’
‘Hey Edward, should Tanya be afraid that Bella may decide to ‘get her out of the way’ like she did her mother?’
That was fucking it.
Every bit of hatred and anger in my body came to the surface as I threw myself into the crowd of paps. I wasn’t sure which one of them said it, but I didn’t give a shit. I just wanted to hit someone. I managed to smash a couple cameras, but the punch I aimed at one face went wide and instead of the satisfying feel of my fist connecting with some asshole’s jaw, I felt my body slamming into the very hard airport floor.
After that, everything was a blur as police arrived and I was cuffed and taken away.
At the police station, I was treated well. Something I didn’t deserve.
Probably because of my celebrity status.
A couple officers plied me with coffee in an attempt to sober me up. After a couple of hours, I was sober enough to make my phone call.
“Edward, what’s happened?” Alice said frantically. “I got to your house and you were gone. You’d better not be on your way to London or so help me…“
“Alice” I said as I cut her off. “I need you to come bail me out of jail.”
*************************************************************************************
Chapter 25 & 26 - That Which Doesn’t Kill Us…
“What did you do Edward?” This was Jasper’s voice now. “Rose seems to think you broke up with Bella.”
I couldn’t answer. Breaking up with Bella was what I had needed to do, but I couldn’t think the words much less say them out loud.
We were driving from the police station to my house. I hoped that Jasper and Alice would leave me alone once we arrived. I needed time alone to pull myself together. And maybe throw up.
Jasper tried to help me into the house, I pushed him away. “I can do it myself” I snarled.
Jasper backed off, putting his hands up in surrender. “Alright Mr. ‘How many ways can I fuck up my life in a day?’ Do. It. Yourself.”
He was pissed. I didn’t blame him. Everyone should be pissed at me.
“It stinks in here” Alice observed once we entered my house “It smells like whiskey. What were you doing Edward sitting around getting drunk and listening to Tom Waits all night?” She muttered. “You seem to forget that bad things happen every time you get drunk. Every time Edward!”
Alice and Jasper made me drink two cups of coffee before forcing me upstairs to my room. “You will go to sleep right now. I don’t want to speak with you until your head is clear.” Alice said, then her nose wrinkled in disgust. “You may want to think about a shower first.”
Ugh. Why is life so hard?
“We’ll be downstairs, guarding your liquor cabinet, so don’t try anything stupid.” She threatened before they left.
I took the shower as instructed and then crawled into my bed. At some point, I was aware of Alice opening the door. A minute later I heard her leave again.
Probably trying to ascertain whether I had followed her instructions.
I woke out of my stupor, and with my mind somewhat clear, everything I’d done in the last twenty-four hours came flooding back.
How could I have walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to me? Isabella was my entire world, and without her I had nothing.
Fuck it. I was going to find a way to numb this pain.
I pulled out the bottle of whiskey I had stowed in the cabinet by the bed and took a swig.
I’m having trouble sleeping
You’re jumping in my bed
Twisting in my head
Leave me
Before Isabella, I was living a half-life, then she came along and changed everything. I knew that without her, I wouldn’t return to that half-life. I would have no life.
I’m having trouble breathing
You’re sitting on my chest
I sure could use the rest
Leave me
My biggest fear had been that she would leave me some day. Considering the way I was feeling now, there was no way that would have hurt more than this.
I’m having trouble sleeping
I’m thinking about what you said
About the tears been shed
Leave me
I was aware of time passing, each chime of the clock marking another hour since I’d exiled myself to my own personal hell. The whiskey did numb my pain, I didn’t care what else it did to me, as long as I couldn’t feel.
I wonder what Bella is doing now? Aside from hating me.
There was a knock on the door, it opened and Jasper and Alice walked in. “Edward!” Jasper said in alarm. “You stupid idiot!” He shouted as he confiscated my whiskey.
“What did I tell you Edward?“ Alice screamed. “You have lost your mind.“ She and Jasper proceeded to confiscate the liquor I had stowed in my bedroom. “If it were up to me” Alice shouted. “You would never get this again.” She said as she took the whiskey away.
They left me to my misery. The house grew quiet for the next hour or so. I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling as it started to grow dark outside.
The next time my door opened, Alice was alone.
“Well? What do you have to say for yourself, you drunken fool?” she shouted.
She’s trying to kill me.
I groaned as I attempted to sit up. “Alice, don’t yell at me.” I slurred.
“Someone needs to yell at you. How many times do I have to be proven right before you’ll listen to my advice every time Edward Cullen.” Alice was so angry.
“You don’t understand Ali, I left her. She was the best thing in my life and I’ll never see her again.” I moaned, feeling sorry for myself.
“And just whose fault is that jackass? Edward, you have caused all your problems. I told you never to agree to that phony relationship with Tanya, but you are so hard-headed. And now, you find your soul mate and you what? Just walk out on her, claiming it’s for her own good? I should beat you to death right now and put you out of your misery! Ugh.” Alice shouted as she kicked the bed.
Oh God, I didn’t think it possible for my head to hurt more…
I moaned while trying to hold my skull together.
“It’s okay Ali, just keep yelling, I’m pretty sure my head’s going to explode.” I said weakly, “You just don’t understand.”
“Then why don’t you explain it to me Edward?” She asked in a softer voice.
I may as well tell Alice the truth.
“I knew it was just a matter of time until she couldn’t take any more. The media attention has been brutal. I knew she’d leave me. I couldn’t bear the thought of that…”
“And so you decided to break her heart out of fear that she would eventually break yours?” Alice asked incredulously.
I nodded, and it didn’t help my headache. “You don’t know Ali. You didn’t see her when those horrible lies were said about her. She broke down and it was my fault.”
“Then you added to it Edward.” She shook her head. “Don’t you understand anything? Bella lived through hell, it’s only natural that she would react to reminders of that. Did she go into shock?”
“No.” I answered. “It took a while, but she eventually calmed down. But then, that night, she had horrible nightmares.”
“What did you do about the nightmares?”
“She seemed to recover when I held her.” I admitted.
She did seem to be better because I was there…
“So let me get this straight. Bella had a reminder of the most horrific day of her life. As a result, she had an emotional breakdown from which she recovered, and nightmares which you helped her deal with.”
Why did Alice have such a knack for pointing out how stupid I was?
I nodded slowly.
“You really are an idiot. I fail to see how your leaving was supposed to benefit her Edward. It sounds like your presence was what helped her.”
I couldn’t answer, it hurt my head and my stomach to think about it.
“It doesn’t matter Ali. I left her, she’ll never forgive me. And right now, I think I’m going to be sick.” I mumbled as I lurched toward the bathroom.
I proceeded to throw up everything in my stomach while I silently hoped that Alice had left the room. She didn’t need to hear this. After the dry heaves had finished with me, I splashed water on my face and looked in the mirror.
A matching set. I feel like shit, and I look like shit.
After carefully brushing my teeth, in order not to bring on another bout of nausea, I finally emerged from my bathroom.
The sight that greeted me had me fearing that my dehydration had caused delirium. Bella was seated on a chair near the door.
“Bella” I whispered. “Are you really here or am I dreaming?” I said as I walked closer.
“Oh I’m here alright Edward. Whether you want me or not.” She said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
She was really here, and she was angry.
I stopped and crumpled to the floor, leaning against the foot of the bed, never taking my eyes off of Isabella.
“Bella, I’ll always want you. I’m not sure I thought everything through yesterday. I was just so worried about you, I may have been rash in my decision to leave.”
“Ya think? You know what Edward? You don’t get to talk right now, you only get to listen.” She said in a cold voice.
I was stunned into silence.
“Edward, I can appreciate that you are worried about me. I understand that, I really do. My family makes a profession out of worrying about me. I don’t think you realize how much better I’ve been since I met you.”
“I’ve done things that I’ve never been able to do before, simply because you were with me. I felt normal for the first time in seven years.”
This was my life she was describing.
“Now, I want the truth from you, no matter how much it hurts me. Do you care for me Edward? Just yes or no please.”
I looked at her with sad eyes. “Yes.”
I’m not surprised she questions the way I feel about her, after what I did.
“Do you love me Edward?”
“Yes.” I answered.
More than anything.
“Do you want any kind of future with me?”
“Yes.” I nodded while answering.
“Well that’s good to know. I’ve spent over 24 hours trying to convince myself that the past weeks and months really meant nothing to you. Obviously I don’t believe that, because I’m here now.”
“Edward, you may say that you love me, you may even believe that, but it still wasn’t enough to stop you from leaving me. I don’t want a relationship with someone who could decide something like that without even consulting me about it first.”
Oh God, what will I do if she won’t forgive me? I can change. I’ll do whatever she wants.
“But..” I tried to speak. I needed to tell her that I’d never have the strength to leave again, but she held her hand up to silence me.
“No. Not now. I need to finish.”
“You discarded my thoughts and feelings on the matter, and treated me like a child. You decided that I ’couldn’t handle’ the pressure. Edward, did you pay attention when I told you about what happened to my mother? I was fifteen Edward, I’m not fifteen any more. I can handle a hell of a lot more than you give me credit for. Yeah, sometimes I‘m going to fall apart, I‘m only human. The important thing is that I recover. Every time I fall, I am somehow able to get back up. You have helped me with that. Since I met you, I haven‘t had to insulate myself from things the way I used to.”
“Sometimes things are going to happen that will upset me. Sometimes they will be very bad, like what happened at the studio the other day. But you know what? If it means that we can be together, I’ll take it. I’ll take all the bad stuff and more Edward, because you’ll be there to help me through it.”
I stood and started to move toward her. I needed to hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was. Again, she held her hand up to stop me.
“Now, you have some decisions to make. Understand this, I want to be with you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. I love you more than anything. If we can’t be together, my life will be empty. I’ve lived that way before, and I guess I could do it again, but I don’t want to.”
“I also think that maybe we moved too quickly. We should take a step back and decide if this is what we both want, publicity and internet gossip be damned.”
“I know that I want you, no matter the consequences. You need to decide if you really want me.”
I tried to speak again. To tell her I didn’t need time to think. I knew that I needed her in order to survive. She was everything to me. She stopped me again.
Shit.
“No Edward. You need to actually commit some time to thinking about this. You claimed you loved me before, but it was too easy for you to decide to leave me. I can’t go through that again.”
I’m an asshole.
“I’m going to stay with Alice and Jasper. I’ll be there when you sober up and want to talk. If you don’t come, then I will accept your decision.”
She stood and walked over to me, kissing my cheek. I wrapped my arms around her, never wanting to let go. Eventually she pulled away, and I watched as she left the room.
--LRM--
The next sixteen hours were difficult. A big part of me wanted to hop in my car and follow Bella to Alice’s house immediately. But, I knew that would be going against her wishes.
She wanted me to take some time to think, something I’d been doing very little of lately. The cold, hard, reality was that I did want all those things that Bella had mentioned, and I‘d almost destroyed my chances of ever having them.
I loved her more than anything, that fact hadn’t changed. But was love going to be enough for me to defeat my demons?
Every decision I’d made lately had been purely selfish. Sure, I was upset that she’d been hurt, and I told myself that I was leaving to protect her, but the bottom line was that I was attempting to keep myself from being hurt.
I’m not just an asshole, I’m a selfish asshole.
She was right. I’d never treated her as an equal in this relationship. I had made decisions without her input. That would have to change.
I thought about everything Bella and I had been through together, the good and the bad. If I wanted to fix this and move forward, if I wanted there to be an ‘us’, I needed to learn to trust Bella. Learn to trust her to know what she could handle, to trust her to be honest, and most importantly, I needed to trust her not to leave me.
Learning to trust, something I’d had difficulty with for seven years.
No matter how much I claimed to be over Meghan, I was still letting the ghost of that so-called relationship affect my decisions.
In the end, I didn’t have a choice. Bella was my life. I knew I would never be strong enough to leave her again, and I prayed she would never leave me. I was ready to try. It was a leap of faith.
The next morning I sent her a text that I would be coming over that afternoon.
I found Bella sitting on Jasper and Alice‘s patio enjoying the sunshine. She was so beautiful, and as usual, she took my breath away.
“Are you enjoying the weather Bella?” I asked quietly.
I had so much to make up to her.
She turned and greeted me with a smile.
“Can we talk?” I asked timidly, hoping she was still willing to give me another chance.
“Sure.” She said as she stood to go into the house.
Alice jumped to her feet and made up an excuse to give us some privacy. When we were alone, I sat down on the chair next to Bella’s.
“So, I’ve been thinking” I began.
“That’s a good start.” Bella stated in a sarcastic tone as she smiled.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been doing a lot of that lately.” I attempted to smile back at her. “I’ve made a decision.”
“Bella” Needing to have physical contact with her, I reached for her hand. “I don’t want to live without you. Can you forgive me for being a fool. Can we forget Friday ever happened?”
“I don’t want to live without you either Edward. Yes, I forgive you. But, no, we can’t forget Friday ever happened.”
My shoulders dropped in defeat. I had truly hoped we could get past this.
“If what happened Friday eventually makes our relationship stronger, then someday we may look back on it as a good thing.”
I will never look back with fondness upon anything that hurt my beautiful Bella.
“I decided that, like you said, I’m willing to put up with all the bad stuff if it means I can keep you. I don’t think I can make it without you Bella.” I said as I leaned closer to her.
She smiled and placed a hand on my cheek. “Edward, I can’t live without you either. We are kind of pathetic.” She dropped her hand and sat back in her chair. “I think it’s a good idea if we spend the time until you leave for England as a test period.”
I didn’t understand what she meant.
“A time where we can gauge whether or not we can handle the intrusiveness of the media, and still survive as a couple. We owe that to ourselves. We also don‘t need to spend every moment together, I think a little separation can be a good thing. Realistically because of your work schedule I can‘t always be with you, I need to learn to accept that.”
I looked into her eyes, attempting to be completely honest with her. “I can’t promise not to worry about you Bella.”
“Nor would I want you to. Just don’t overreact.” She answered.
If it brings Bella back to me, ‘Don’t Overreact’ will become my new mantra.
“I understand, and I agree, but right now I really want to kiss you.” I grinned.
“So what’s stopping you Mr. Movie Star?” She smiled happily, and all my worry and self-loathing disappeared.
I pulled her into my arms, kissing her passionately.
Now that I had her back, I was never letting her go.
“Well if that’s the make-up kiss, I’d love to know what the make-up sex would be like.” Bella blurted before slapping her hand over her mouth.
I laughed loudly and kissed her again.
She never fails to surprise and amuse me.
“Well, I guess you two lovebirds kissed and made up.” Chirped Alice from the doorway.
“Yes we did nosey.” I answered with a smile.
“Edward, did you realize that Tanya is making her statement tonight on national television?” Bella asked suddenly.
This day keeps getting better and better.
“No.” I answered in surprise.
“Edward, this will change everything. We won’t know until tomorrow what the fall-out will be for you, and for us. Will you be able to handle it?” She asked.
I took her hand again. “If you’re with me Bella, I can handle all of it.”
It was the truth.
--LRM--
That evening, we watched as Tanya made her statement. I’d known Tanya for years, and she was the consummate actress. She pulled out all the stops as she told her story.
Her words were exactly what Bella and I needed in order to be free of this fucked-up situation. Tanya didn’t say anything that would incriminate herself, although there was always the chance that the studio would release the video.
I silently prayed that they would see the wisdom in letting the matter drop.
We all breathed a sigh of relief when Tanya finished. None of us could predict the future, with the exception of Alice of course, but I felt pretty confident that Bella and I had finally put our worst days with the press behind us.
Bella wouldn’t let me stay with her, but even that fact had no affect on my euphoric mood. I knew that from now on everything would be okay, provided of course that I didn’t screw up.
Over the span of about thirty-six hours I’d learned one very important fact: my worst enemy is myself.
--LRM--
“I don’t care Jasper, I’m not spending any more time away from Bella until I have to leave for England. If they want to interview me, they’ll have to do it this week, or next week in Seattle.“
We were sitting in Jasper’s office trying to re-arrange my schedule for the next few weeks.
“Very well Edward. I know that People is flexible. I’ll set that one up for tomorrow afternoon. The GQ interview however will be lengthy, and they also want to do a photo shoot.”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to doing that one in England, see if they’re agreeable.” I said.
“Okay. Esquire has also been asking.” Jasper added.
I sighed. “Those fuckers need to apologize before I’ll speak with them.” I grinned.
Jasper laughed. “I’ll tell them that.”
Despite Alice’s attempts to keep me well-dressed at all times, I still managed to be seen in public wearing my jeans and hoodie. Last year, Esquire added me to their celebrity style ‘hall of shame’ because of my scruffy attire. Alice nearly had an aneurysm, and threatened me with bodily harm if I went out in public more than once a week in my ’ugly clothes’ as she called them.
By the time I left Jasper’s office, we’d nailed down most of my schedule for the next month.
While Bella was fielding phone calls from her family, I received one from Wendy. We discussed my ‘incident’ at the airport, and she was confident that she’d be able to have the charges reduced so we could settle out of court.
That was welcome news.
The next phone call I got wasn’t as pleasant. My mother had seen the news reports about my airport escapades, and worse than that, she’d heard about what I’d done to Bella.
“Hello Mom.”
“Don’t you ‘Hello Mom’ me.” My mother responded. “I would really like to know why I bothered having a conversation with you the other day Edward. You disregarded every bit of my advice. I hope you are ashamed of yourself.”
“Yes Mother, I am.”
“I’m glad to hear it. Did you repair your relationship with Bella? The answer had better be yes.”
“Yes Mother.”
“I’m glad you didn’t succeed in driving her away Edward. That girl is the best thing that has or will ever happen to you. Do you understand?”
“Yes Mother.”
“Now, about this business at the airport. You knew better than to physically attack someone. I couldn’t understand what had gotten into you until Alice informed me that you had been drinking.” She said with disgust. “Do I need to remind you of the problems drinking has caused you in the past young man?”
“No Mother.”
“Drinking is never the answer Edward. It can only cause more problems. Your Father and I have been beside ourselves with worry for two days, but Alice told me to wait before calling you.“
“I’m sorry Mother.“ I said sincerely.
“Now, do I need to have your Father speak with you to reinforce what I've just said?”
“No, Mother.“
“Are you sure? Because I don’t enjoy fielding questions from my nosey friends about my children Edward.“
“I’m sorry Mom, it will never happen again.“
“Okay, I love you. Now put Bella on the phone.” She ordered.
“I love you too Mom.”
I handed the phone to Bella. “My mother wishes to speak with you.” I said with a smirk.
Bella looked a little nervous as she took the phone from my hand. “Hello” She said timidly.
She was silent as she listened.
“I’m beginning to realize that.” Bella chuckled.
“Thank you Esme. I’m sure I’ll have a wonderful stay.” Bella said.
“Goodbye.”
After lunch I got a phone call from Jane.
“Hello Edward. I know you’re technically on break, but I really need to meet with you sometime this week if possible.”
“I’m doing an interview with People tomorrow. How about if I stop by beforehand?”
“Perfect.”
I went in search of Bella, only to find her up in the guest room surfing the internet. When I realized that she’d pulled up a search page full of stories about us, I had to chuckle. I’d looked at a few of them earlier in the day, and knew that everyone seemed to have done an ‘about face’ in their opinion of our relationship.
“Did you just google yourself Miss Swan?” I asked with a grin.
“You make that sound kind of dirty Mr. Movie Star.” She laughed as she walked over to me.
I held her close.
“How would you like to go out for a little while? I think we’re safe from angry mobs.” For the first time, I felt safe showing off my girl to the world.
For the first time, she wouldn’t be viewed as the ‘other woman’.
“What did you have in mind?” Bella asked.
“Well, was there anything you wanted to do? Anything you wanted to see while here?” I didn’t care where we went, as long as we were together.
Bella got a mischievous grin on her face.
What was she thinking?
She bit her lip. “You’re going to laugh.”
I smiled. “What is going through that mind of yours Isabella?”
She grinned. “Well….”
--LRM--
Bella’s choice of entertainment was surprising, but so Bella. Here we stood in Madame Tussaud’s wax museum. I’d never been here before. Even when they’d had the ‘big reveal’ of my wax figure, I didn’t attend.
I had a feeling that if I’d known Bella at that time, she probably would have forced me to.
After I completely humiliated myself by having my photo taken with my wax self, I was anxious to leave. Bella of course wasn’t, and I found it very difficult to tell her no.
Not just difficult, impossible.
I was amused by her reaction to Johnny Depp’s wax figure.
I can’t wait to see what she does when she meets him in person.
Watching Bella as she acted like a starstruck tourist was enchanting.
And to think I almost lost this.
“Edward when will Clint be coming to Seattle? I know you don’t start filming until September.” Bella asked.
“He’ll probably be making a couple of trips before September. I know he’ll be there for a few days in August, and probably once before then. I’ll be touching base with him this week, I’ll see if I can find out.” I answered. As soon as I saw the scene from Kill Bill, I stopped walking.
“I would love to work with Quentin Tarantino.” I said quietly.
“Have you ever met him?” Bella asked.
“Actually, I met him for the first time at one of the Academy Awards after parties this year. I’ve admired his work forever though.”
Bella smiled, “Something else we have in common Mr. Cullen.” She whispered.
Quentin had approached me at the Vanity Fair after-party at which time we'd both admitted to admiring each others' work. After a few minutes discussing our current projects, we agreed to meet and discuss possbily working together in the future.
Our next stop was Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, where we proceeded to stand in the footsteps of our favorite movie stars. Again, it was a place I’d never been to before. Bella and I played the part of tourists for the rest of the afternoon. I even got her to eat fish tacos at a local snack bar.
The amazing thing about our day had been the reaction from my fans to seeing Bella and I together. Any time someone recognized us, they would smile. Some asked for autographs, others merely gave us the ‘thumbs up’. These simple gestures meant the world to me, and also helped me to relax and stop fearing the worst.
As it got later, I knew that I didn’t want to say goodbye to Bella tonight. After the shit I’d put her through, I was timid about asking her to stay at my house though.
Finally, when I couldn’t put it off any longer, I bit the bullet and asked the question that I’d been avoiding. “Bella, I’d like to spend the evening at my house, would that be okay?“
Bella, instead of putting me out of my misery with a simple yes, proceeded to torment me. “Well gosh Edward, I’ll miss you but if that’s how you want to spend your evening I won’t stop you.“ She smiled innocently.
“Bella.” I groaned as I covered my face with my hand. “I’d like you to come over and spend the evening with me.” I held my breath as I peered at her from between my fingers.
“I, um” She hesitated.
Please don’t turn me down.
“Okay.” She finally answered, as she looked into my eyes.
I released the breath I’d been holding and pulled her into my arms. “Thank you Bella, I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be alone with me until after I came back from England.”
She pulled away slightly and smiled at me. “Who says we’ll be alone, I was going to invite Sidney to hang out with us.”
I frowned at her as I heard Sidney chuckle from the front seat.
Who knew that mute motherfucker could laugh?
Alice, always five steps ahead of me, had already packed a bag for Bella and handed it to her through the car window. I silently wondered why she didn’t let Bella pack her own things.
I smiled and shook my head. “I guess I’m ready to go.” Bella said with a shrug.
When we arrived at my house, Bella acted as if she’d never been there before. I wondered how much of it she’d seen the other night, but since neither of us wanted to talk about that, I decided to give her a tour.
I had a difficult time luring her away from my home theatre. It was also one of my favorite rooms, second only to my music room.
The best part of the entire tour was the pool. Ever since meeting Bella, I’d imagined her in that pool. Some of my fantasies even included a bathing suit, although most did not.
Bella in a bikini in my pool. Better still, Bella naked in my pool.
I needed to get my thoughts under control before embarrassing myself.
As she stood beside the pool, staring at the lights of the city, I thought how having Bella here with me actually made this house feel like a home for the first time.
I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
“How do you like my preferred view of the L.A. nightlife Miss Swan?” I said as I smiled.
“It’s perfect Edward.” She murmured.
“Not as perfect as you Bella.” I turned her to face me.
“I’ll never be able to tell you enough how sorry I am for Friday.” I said sadly. “I hope you understand that I hated seeing you hurting, knowing it was my fault.”
“So you decided to hurt me more?” She asked calmly.
I deserved that.
“Believe me, by the time my plane touched down at LAX, I realized what a stupid mistake I’d made.“
“Why didn’t you call me? I would have listened.”
“I didn’t think I deserved you. I don’t deserve you.” I answered.
She placed a finger on my lips. “Edward, we’ve been through this. Today was the first day for us to be recognized as a couple, without Tanya‘s shadow looming, and it was a good day. I’m not fooled into thinking that all the days to come will be this easy. We need to be sure that we can handle the bad ones also.”
“As long as we don’t make decisions about our relationship based on the public or media reaction, everything will be fine. That was Tanya’s mistake for years, and the mistake you made on Friday.”
I couldn’t look at her.
She placed her hand on the side of my face, turning me to look into her eyes. Her beautiful, loving, brown eyes.
“Hey, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to keep rehashing this incident over and over forever. I want to be able to trust that you won’t do anything so stupid again. When in doubt, listen to your sister.” She grinned.
I smiled back. “Good advice. I hate to admit it, but every time I ignore her, it comes back to bite me in the ass.”
We both laughed.
I glanced toward the pool. “How about a swim?” I asked.
I watched her face as she thought about that. “Hopefully Alice packed my swimsuit in my backpack.”
We each headed to different bathrooms to change. I had a serious five-minute conversation with my dick expressing the need for ‘polite behavior’ when in the presence of Miss Swan in a bathing suit.
After dressing, I grabbed a couple of towels and went in search of Bella. After about ten minutes I started to worry that she had become ill.
I knocked softly on the bathroom door. “Bella, are you okay sweetheart? Did you still want to swim?” I asked, hoping and praying that nothing was wrong.
Without answering, Bella opened the door. As soon as I saw her in that blue bikini…
Thank you Alice.
I was speechless. I was also aware that my dick hadn’t listened to a single word I’d said.
Traitorous bastard.
Bella stood before me looking the part of a goddess, come to earth to torture unsuspecting mortals.
Fuuuck me.
I’d never seen this much of Bella before, but instead of being satisfied with this new mental image with which to fuel my Bella fantasies, my selfish mind and body wanted more.
I really hope I’m not drooling.
For a moment, I worked to get my facial expression, and my dick, under control.
Bella seemed to be attempting the same thing. Well, not the part about the dick, because obviously Bella didn’t have one of those. Instead, Bella was blessed with a soft, sweet, pu…
Bella’s sudden laughter broke me from my inappropriate thoughts. All I could do in response was smile and shake my head.
I’m turning the heat off in that fucking pool. Cold water is my friend.
I grabbed Bella’s hand and led her toward the water, hoping that she was unaware of the uncomfortable state of affairs in my swimsuit.
Moving around in the water helped a little. Well, honestly it only helped to hide my problem because every time Bella swam by, my dick stood to attention, saluting her effort.
We talked about nonsensical things as I tried to keep my distance from the perpetually unaware sex goddess.
I wonder how much time is long enough to spend in this cursed pool?
Before I could answer my own question, Bella swam over to me, and wrapped her arms around my neck.
F. U. C. K.
“Hi.” She looked into my eyes as I wrapped her in my arms, carefully avoiding contact between her and ‘Benedick Arnold‘.
“Hi.” I breathed. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea Bella.”
“Why’s that Edward?” She whispered.
She was totally on to me.
“Because my self-control is waning.” I whimpered as I held her tighter.
As much as my mind wanted to resist, every other part of me surrendered when Bella kissed me. When she wrapped her legs around my waist I was almost certain that I caught a glimpse of my self-control waving the white flag as it retreated down the hillside.
Deciding to follow Bella’s lead, I moved my hands down until they cupped her luscious ass, holding her against me as I kissed every inch of bare skin that I could reach.
I felt her tiny hands travel across my back until they rested just above the waistband of my swimsuit. At the same time, I moved one of my hands until my thumb was gently grazing the side of her breast, while the other hand remained under her bottom, mere inches from her sex.
Yeah, I was paying attention.
When one of Bella’s hands slid onto my ass, I moved my hand slightly, but just enough for my thumb to graze back and forth against her nipple. She was amazingly responsive to my touch. I began to kiss from her shoulder down across her chest. I was just about to find out if she would be as responsive to my lips and tongue on her nipple as she had been to my thumb, when Bella suddenly grasped my ass cheek hard, causing my dick to almost explode without notice.
As uncomfortable as it made me, I didn’t want her to stop.
Suddenly, a sound I never expected to hear broke through the lust-filled fog of my brain.
Bella was chuckling.
My dick, which had been standing at attention for so long, immediately took an ’at ease’ posture. I looked down at Bella’s face incredulously. “Bella, what could you possibly find to laugh about at this moment? I have to say that it doesn‘t do a lot for my ego.” I said quietly.
She immediately began to apologize. “Oh my gosh, Edward, I’m so sorry. I’m just really nervous about this and my mind copes in the most twisted ways.” She explained.
I thought about that for a minute, and then I smiled. “I like how your mind works Bella. But you have to tell me what you were thinking or it will bother me for the rest of the night.”
Suddenly my self-esteem is non-existent. I feel like a twelve year old boy.
“It was stupid.” She said. This wasn’t an explanation. My bruised ego needed to know what the hell was so funny, that it could distract Bella in a shared moment of heated passion.
“I just remembered that crazy old lady groping you in church, that’s all.”
I attempted not to smile at the thought of the crazy old lady that Bella had dubbed ‘Grandma Moses’, but I just couldn’t do it. I shook my head and grinned at her. “You are so strange Isabella Swan.”
Part of me knew that Bella hadn’t been ready for this. Unfortunately that part was now having a cappuccino somewhere down in the San Fernando Valley.
I pulled her close and took her chin in my hand, gently pulling her face up to look in her eyes. “I said I wouldn’t push, and I meant it. No more than you are comfortable with, okay?”
She nodded. “I liked what you were doing, it felt nice.“ She whispered.
And just like that my dick seemed to recover, and want to rejoin the party. Knowing that a round of ‘self love’ was out of the question with Bella in the house, I resigned myself to suffer in silence.
“I’m glad.” I smiled. “Bella, I definitely don’t want our first time to be in my swimming pool. I want it to be special, especially for you. I love you so much beautiful Bella.” I said as I kissed her again.
“I love you too.” She whispered.
“Edward.”
“Yes Bella.”
“We should probably go watch a movie.” She sighed.
“That may be best.“ I grinned. “What movie did you have in mind?”
“Anything except September Ends.”
What?
“Bella, I’m not in the habit of watching my own movies, but what specifically is it about September Ends that you dislike?”
“Um, I don’t dislike it. As a matter of fact, I probably like it too much.”
“I just don’t think I can handle Sexward Masen twice in one evening.”
She was so random.
I burst into laughter and then hugged her to me. “Bella, I don’t know how I’ve lived without you all these years.”
“Me neither Edward.” She said as she grinned. “Me neither.”
**********************************************************************************************
Chapters 27&28 - Copious Amounts of Alcohol For The Bilingual
Bella had asked us to take a step back, and I couldn’t fucking do it. I let things go too far last night. I couldn’t completely blame myself, because I can not seem to help myself when she’s around, I’m intoxicated by her very presence.
She wasn’t ready for a real physical relationship yet, and I was a selfish bastard.
It was only four days ago that I’d abandoned her. Of course in my feeble attempt to remove all the shit from her life that I’d caused, I only added to her pain, tossing her feelings aside as if they were nothing.
My brain knew that we needed to take things slowly, but my heart wasn’t listening to my brain. It wanted me to lose myself in Bella. Something I could so easily do.
But, for her sake, and for my own sanity, I needed to try and give her the space she desired.
I had Sidney drive us to a restaurant frequented by people in the movie industry for our late breakfast.
No time like the present to give Isabella a taste of being the girlfriend of a celebrity.
It was amusing to watch Isabella’s reaction each time she recognized someone coming through the door.
By the time the server brought our food, she was a chattering mess.
“Oh my God Edward. Look over there. No, on second thought, don’t look, it would be too obvious. I just saw Denzel Washington, he’s sitting right over there, but now your big head keeps getting in my way.”
I laughed out loud at that.
“Sorry, you don’t really have a big head, just big hair.” I laughed again.
This woman will be the death of me.
“I love your big hair.” She said apologetically, and smiled.
“Bella, I can see that I am impeding your attempt at voyeurism. Let me see what I can do about that.” I then got up and moved to sit beside Bella on her side of the booth.
“I’m not being voyeuristic Edward.” She whispered. “These people aren’t doing anything sexy or intimate while I’m spying on them.” She smirked.
Hmm. Maybe I should show her just how sexy breakfast can be.
“Some people would argue that eating is very intimate.” I whispered.
I took a grape from Bella’s fruit salad and proceeded to place it in her mouth. Then I took a strawberry, dipped it in cream, and offered it to her. With the next strawberry, I made sure to lick off the cream before taking a bite. Isabella’s eyes never left my mouth.
And then she blushed. Success.
Exactly the reaction I‘d hoped for.
I dipped another strawberry and held it to Bella’s lips. To my chagrin, she didn’t take a bite right away, instead she swirled her tongue, licking off the cream, and then closed her eyes and moaned quietly as she bit down.
Touché Miss Swan.
I sat there with what I was sure was a stunned expression on my face as Isabella grabbed my wrist.
What is she up to now?
I watched in amazement as she dipped my finger in the cream and then proceeded to swirl her tongue around it before taking it into her mouth and sucking.
Fuck me. She is a little vixen.
Isabella was unaware that Denzel, at the next table, had witnesses her entire display, and was now laughing and shaking his head.
“Alright Miss Swan. I surrender the game. This probably wasn’t the right place to start it, but I couldn’t help myself.“ I whispered as I pulled her close.
“You are just too cute for you own good.” I said as I kissed her nose, and then pecked her lips.
At that moment, Denzel walked by smiling in our direction, I noticed him wink at Bella.
Back off Denzel.
I realized that setting Isabella loose in Hollywood may be just what this town needs. My quirky, beautiful and totally irresistible girlfriend could set this town on its ear.
“Edward” She whispered. “I think you’d better get me out of here before I embarrass you any more than I already have.”
I chuckled. “As you wish my love.” Then I whispered. “You could never embarrass me Bella.”
--LRM--
“Edward, the studio called this morning, they want to schedule a couple publicity appearances to coincide with the DVD release of Time Stands Still at the end of May.“ Jasper informed me of this on our way to meet with Jane.
“I guess that will be okay. What do they have in mind?” I asked.
“Right now it looks like Jimmy Fallon’s show is a given, possibly an appearance on Ellen wouldn’t hurt. They’re even talking about a Jimmy Kimmel special with the entire cast of the movie.” Jasper continued.
“That seems like a lot for a DVD.” I remarked.
“I agree. You so rarely do interviews that the studio is using any excuse to get you out there.” Jasper answered honestly.
“Assholes.” Alec muttered. He’d been unusually quiet during the ride.
I laughed. “Ah, he speaks.” I said while turning to Alec. “I hope you were referring to the studio execs and not Jasper and myself.” I said grinning.
Alec barked out a laugh. “Nah, you two aren’t assholes. You two are fuckers.”
Jasper and I laughed at him. “So Edward, when do I get to meet this hottie that has occupied all of your time lately?” Alec asked.
I felt myself bristling with anger. “You already met her.” I said through gritted teeth.
“That didn‘t count Edward. That was for like ten minutes in a stupid conference room. I didn‘t even get a good look at her.” Alec answered while wiggling his eyebrows.
I may have to kill him.
“Alec, sorry to say but, I don’t want you around Isabella. She is sweet and good and innocent, something you know nothing about. You, my friend, are a man-whore.” I answered honestly.
“Dude, I just want to meet her. It’s not like I’m going to make a play for her or anything.“ He said.
“Alec, I put up with a lot of shit from you because I like you. If you really want people like your sister to take you seriously, then you need to grow up a little. Life is not all one big party.”
Fuck. I feel like his father.
“Edward, you’re kind of a boring old fart.“ Alec answered with a smirk.
Jasper had the nerve to chuckle.
Fucker.
--LRM--
“Jane, we’ve been over this. I. Want. My. Summer. Free.” I stated very directly.
“Okay, okay. I know the indie film is out. But this other one, the period piece, you’re interested?“
“It all depends. If they are willing to work around my schedule and filming won’t start until after December, I’d be very interested.” I answered.
“Let me talk to them again. Maybe they can schedule filming for the spring.” She suggested hopefully.
I thought about it. This film would be different than anything I’d done before. It was set during the time of the French Revolution. Filming to be done exclusively in Europe. The producers specifically wanted me for the main role, and seemed to be willing to work around my schedule. “I’m interested. Provided that production can be put off.” I instructed.
Jane’s smile was blinding. I think I’d just made her day.
The next stop was my interview with People. The questions were pure fluff where my career was concerned. They’d been instructed to steer away from my personal life, so imagine the interviewer’s surprise when I actually brought up my relationship with Isabella.
“I know that I have made it a rule not to speak openly about my personal life, but that doesn’t stop things from being written about it regardless.“ I said contemplatively. “Let me just state for the record that the media frenzy over my relationship with Isabella has been extremely difficult to deal with. I hope that, now that everyone knows the truth, they will respect our privacy.”
The mini photo shoot that went along with the interview was quick and painless. Before driving to Jasper’s, I had Sidney drop Alec at his apartment.
When we arrived back at Alice and Jasper’s, we found Alice, Bella and Chris on the back patio, inebriated, and gossiping like three old women.
I immediately had Sidney drive Chris home, so that we could try to sober up the girls before taking them out to dinner. Isabella expressed the desire for a nap, so I helped her to her room and laid down beside her.
She was very restless so, in the end, I had to sing her to sleep. She calmed and was able to sleep for a couple of hours until we needed to get ready.
Alice gave us pointed glares when Bella and I opted for casual dinner dress. No amount of bitching could change our minds.
The asshole paps were hovering outside the restaurant, as expected.
“Hey Isabella, do you hate Tanya for what she did?” shouted one.
“Do you think the studio should renew her contract after this?” questioned another.
I felt bad for Tanya. I truly hoped that our stupid agreement, made when we were both very young, wouldn’t prove to be a ‘career-ender’ for her.
“Edward can you pose for one shot with the lovely Bella?”
That one made me smile.
After dinner, Alice dragged us all to a trendy nightclub. Precisely the kind of place I never frequented.
That hadn’t always been the case.
I cringed when I remembered one time in particular during my early days in Hollywood that could have ended very badly for me. I’d gotten terribly drunk, and two females, also drunk, cornered me in a booth where they announced their plan to give me the ‘best blow job of my life’.
I remembered laughing in my drunken stupor over the fact that I wouldn’t have anything to compare it to. I also remember feebly trying to push them away. Alice once again came to my rescue, tossing the skanks out before they’d had a chance to ‘unwrap my package‘.
Thank God.
I glanced at my sister as I remembered.
She is freakishly strong for being so tiny.
Jasper and I would have quite a bit of drinking to do if we wanted to catch up with the girls. I was enchanted by my drunken Bella. She was already funny when sober, but tipsy, she was a riot.
“You guys need to loosen up.” Alice slurred to Bella and me.
“Alice, we don’t need a nightclub and alcohol to enjoy ourselves.” I answered.
“You two act like old people. You need to act your age!” She said as she took a swig of her drink. “Come on Jazzy, let’s dance.”
Bella looked at me. “Maybe she has a point.” She lifted her glass. “To acting our age.”
Maybe throwing caution to the wind isn’t a bad thing once in a while.
I smiled, sighed and clinked my glass with Bella’s.
A couple hours later, I was aware that we’d all had too much to drink. I’d gotten Bella to dance with me several times. Each visit to the dance floor resulting in more and more risqué dance moves as the alcohol removed our inhibitions.
I found myself having to stare down more than one motherfucker who looked as if they were going to ask my girl to dance. Bella, as usual, remained blissfully unaware.
She has no idea how irresistibly sexy she is.
We were sitting back in our booth, taking a break from dancing, when Bella went in search of Alice, who’d left for the ladies’ room several minutes before. Jasper and I were feeling no pain as we toasted our girls.
“Edward, Bella is quite a girl.” Jasper looked at me with bleary eyes.
“That she is.” I agreed.
“Don’t fuck it up.” He advised.
“I will try not to.” I answered.
“I really love your sister.” Jasper was pretty drunk.
“I love her too.” I agreed. “Even when she threatens to kick my ass.”
Suddenly, in my drunken state, the thought of my tiny sister actually trying to kick my ass became the funniest visual ever, and I started to laugh.
Jasper, not having a clue why I was laughing, but because he was drunk as shit, joined in. There we sat, two drunken laughing fools.
“Is this a private party, or would you like some company?” a nasally voice interrupted our male bonding time. I looked up to see several chicks surrounding our booth.
Shit.
“No, thank you ladies. We’re expecting our girls back at any moment.” I answered, trying to be polite. At least the alcohol hadn’t affected my speech yet.
I need to stop drinking.
Jasper, being farther gone then I was, hadn’t even noticed the chicks were there.
“Can’t I just get one photo with you Edward?” Botox Barbie whined. “On your lap?” She added.
I don’t fucking think so.
I was just about to revert to ‘asshole Edward Masen’ when I was interrupted by the voice of my angel.
“Excuse me girls, but I believe you’re blocking our seats.” Bella said with a strong air of authority. I was impressed.
Barbie turned toward her. “I don’t think so.”
What the fuck?
“Correction, your boobs are spilling out of your dresses and are almost on our table.” Bella said. “Considering how many plastic surgeons office those things have visited, it’s unsanitary to have them splayed across the table.”
Damn. My girl can bring it.
“And if you get any closer to my seat, your ass will be in it. I doubt there’s enough penicillin on earth to save me from what’s growing in your vagina.”
Did my chin just hit the floor?
Jasper had obviously been paying closer attention than I gave him credit for, because at Bella’s words, he choked on his drink and sprayed it across the table all over the silicone enhanced chest of one of the bimbo triplets.
Alice smiled at Jasper as if the sun was shining from his ass. The bimbos left without further incident. After one more drink, we went in search of Sidney. We found him right out front, where he proceeded to pour our drunken asses into the car.
All the way to Jasper and Alice’s, I couldn’t stop staring at my beautiful girl. She was positively glowing.
Either that or she was flushed and sweaty from all the dancing.
Either way, I’ll take it.
“What?” She asked as she caught me staring.
“Bella, you are soooo pretty. Did you know that?” I said as he leaned in for a kiss. Unfortunately, my depth perception was screwed up, and I missed her mouth, landing the kiss on her chin instead. “I love you sooo much.”
Damn it. My brain is working a lot better than my mouth.
“You’re pretty too Ewaaard.” she slurred back.
“Shut up bitch!” Bella suddenly announced.
Huh?
“What did I say?” Alice asked, drunk and offended.
“No, not you Ali. I was talking to myself.” Bella giggled.
She may be drunker than me.
“You do that too?” Alice chirped. “I talk to myself all the time. I don’t call myself a bitch though.” Alice thought about that. “But I have called myself a whore before.”
What the fuck?
“Why are you saying that to yourself Ali, um, the hooor word? You‘re not a hooker.” Bella’s slurring was getting worse.
I hope all that alcohol didn’t give her brain damage.
I like her brain.
“Oh I get quite angry with myself for being a whore sometimes.” Alice said.
Okay this was seriously starting to freak me out.
Jasper and I must have been wearing identical masks of horror.
“What is wrong with you two retards?” Alice asked us.
“Alice honey, I wish you’d stop referring to yourself by that term. It makes me quite uncomfortable for my wife to call herself that, and even more troubling is why you would call yourself that?” Jasper answered.
Jasper is surprisingly articulate while drunk. Give him a few more drinks and he’ll be reciting Shakespeare.
“Oh Jazzy, you are too funneee. I’m not a real whore.” Alice kissed his cheek. “I’m just a media whore. I looovvve all the publicity that Brandon Miles gets. I pimp out my designs at every public event, just to get more attention.”
My sister is one of a kind. Thank God.
When we got to the house, Bella and I fell onto the bed fully clothed.
“Ga-nite Ewarr, I love you.” She whispered.
“Goonite Bell” I took a breath “ a. I love you too.”
After kissing her cheek, I watched as she immediately drifted off to sleep. I studied her beautiful face as she laid there, and thought how I wanted to keep her forever. When I was certain she was asleep, I leaned in close to her ear and whispered. “If I asked you, I wonder if you would you say yes?“ I slurred as I put my arms around her. “hmm Bella Cullen.”
If only I could be certain that she would say yes
--LRM--
I could hear Bella’s voice, but nothing she said made any sense.
“Sa Da Tay.”
“Wah Da Tah”
Did my brain hemmorrage from all the alcohol or is she speaking in Pootie-Tangese?
“Sine your pitty on the runny kine.”
“That is the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever woken up to. Is there a reason that you’re quoting Pootie Tang Bella?” I croaked out.
“I got these strange text messages in Pootie Tang-speak. You can guess who sent them.” She whispered.
“Had to be Emmett.” I answered without opening my eyes.
“It just figures that he’d be bored the same morning I had the worst hangover of my life.” she whispered.
We definitely had that in common.
Just then the phone rang.
“Emmett, why are you calling me this early?” Bella whisper yelled.
I thought about how I was going to make it from the bed to the nearest bottle of Tylenol while Bella talked with her brother. From their conversation, it sounded as if Emmett was flying in with Rosalie on Friday.
I rolled to my side as I watched her. As soon as she hung up, she rolled to face me.
“Your brother’s coming too?” I asked, bleary eyed.
“Seems like it. He hates being away from Rose.” she answered quietly.
“I can relate.” I responded.
Boy could I.
“What? You miss Rose? She’ll be so flattered to hear that.” Bella teased.
“You know what I mean Miss Swan.” I smiled painfully.
My head fucking hurts.
An hour later, dressed and ready to meet Johnny for lunch, I felt much better.
I was anxious to see Johnny again, and even more anxious to drive down to Laguna Beach with Bella afterward.
Bella seemed nervous as we waited at our table.
Of course she’s nervous. This is all still new to her.
I knew I should have stopped her when she ordered the Bloody Mary, especially since neither of us had eaten anything since last night, but I couldn’t bring myself to deny her anything.
“Edward, didn’t you know that the best cure for a hangover is a little alcohol? You know, hair of the dog and all that.” She said smugly.
I suddenly started to get a little nervous.
This could be bad, very bad.
Bella guzzled down half her drink before Johnny even got there.
Once he arrived, I introduced them, which resulted in Bella temporarily losing the ability to speak.
It was rather charming until she looked at Johnny like he was something to eat. Not just something, but like he was the last donut in the box. The last oreo in the package. The last beer in the six pack. You get my meaning.
Bella got very quiet, and seemed to be concentrating on her Bloody Mary while I told Johnny about the film I was working on now and the project with Clint coming up in September. In return, he told me about filming The Tourist in Venice, and doing another Pirates movie this summer.
“I’ve got a shoot in England starting in a couple of weeks, should last a month.” I told him.
“I have a home there, but we’re heading back to the farm in France when we leave L.A. I want a little family time before I start filming again.” Johnny remarked.
I kept shooting sideways glances at Bella. For some reason, her silence was making me nervous.
Johnny turned to her. “So Bella, you’re from Seattle right?”
She put on a fake smile.
That was weird.
“I live in Seattle, but I’m actually from a little town near the west coast of Washington called Forks.” I smiled at her ability to answer the question.
Maybe the alcohol isn’t affecting her after all.
She continued. “My Dad is the chief of police.”
Johnny looked surprised. “That’s interesting. So were you a goody goody kid or a trouble maker?” He said with a mischievous smile.
Bella looked confused. “It’s just that I’ve found that cop’s kids are usually one extreme or the other. The same can be said for the children of clergymen I guess.” Johnny chuckled.
She looked a little insulted before her eyes started to dart around the room.
I patted her hand soothingly. “I’m sure that Bella was a very good child.”
She nodded and smiled at me gratefully.
She started looking around the room again and then seemed to be throwing smug smiles at the other patrons.
What is going on in that mind of hers?
The server finally came to take our food order, and I glared at Bella when she was not only rude to her, but ordered another Bloody Mary before eating anything.
The effect of the second drink was very noticeable. Bella loudly chewed the celery stick that came with it, and sucked down the drink, all the while swaying slightly to the music in her head.
Note to self: no more alcohol for Bella. EVER.
“We really should look into doing a project together.” Johnny was speaking to me. “Maybe something with Rodriguez directing.”
I nodded while still aware of the gorgeous unpredictable brunette seated to my right.
Again with the swaying.
“How long will you be in California Bella?”
Oh God. Johnny’s asking her a question.
“I fly back on Sunday.” She answered correctly, although her eyes glazed over immediately afterward.
Finally our food arrived. Hopefully having something on her stomach will curb Bella’s weird behavior.
“Oh thank fuck!” She exclaimed loudly. “We’ve been waiting so fucking long that I assumed they had a one-armed chef!“
I don’t know what Johnny’s reaction was because I was too busy covering my face with my hands.
I recovered enough to start eating my food, hoping against hope that that would be the worst of her outbursts.
I was wrong.
“Don’t eat that!” She shouted, startling the shit out of me. “Edward, that waitress may be spreading hepatitis or E. coli or maybe diphtheria.” She whispered.
“Bella, what are you talking about?” I whispered back.
“I don’t think she washes her hands after she tinkles.” She said as she nodded knowingly.
“Bella, did you follow her to the ladies room?” She shook her head. “No, you didn’t.” I turned to Johnny, who was looking very amused. “I’m sorry, she’s not really used to alcohol.”
We can never come back to this restaurant again.
Bella’s fear of hepatitis seemed to lose out over her hunger, as I watched her devour her veggie wrap.
“It’s okay Edward. I understand that you guys have had a crazy couple of weeks. Now you can finally relax a little.” Johnny said quietly.
I nodded. I felt a little bad for getting upset with Bella. After all, she’d had a hell of a couple of weeks. I went back to eating my lunch.
Suddenly, in the middle of a bite, Bella lunged at me, kissing me square on the lips. And then she giggled.
Could I love her any more?
Johnny shook his head and chuckled. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing along with him.
While Bella was busily eating, Johnny said in a low voice “Edward, I’m telling you right now that you would be a fool if you ever let her get away.”
I nodded in agreement and glanced smiling at my girl.
The server arrived again and I successfully maneuvered Bella away from ordering more alcohol.
“Bella, if you forgo the alcohol, I’ll treat you to dessert. I hear the cheesecake is exceptional.” I pulled out my ‘Hollywood’ smile.
She looked bewildered.
“Whatever you say Edward.” She answered.
She got quiet again, and for some reason blushed when Johnny smiled at her.
I’ll have to ask her later what the fuck that was about.
I think I had about three bites of my chocolate cake before Bella commandeered it, leaving me to eat what was left of her cheesecake. I didn’t mind, as long as she was happy.
And hopefully less drunk.
Johnny and I talked a little more about finding a project together. Johnny would be back in Europe in a couple of weeks, and would touch base with me again then.
We said our goodbyes, and headed for the exit. Bella stopped me before we reached the door. She leaned up and kissed me again. “I’m going to the ladies room, I’ll just be a minute.”
A dozen different scenarios flashed through my head, all of them unpleasant, of what could happen to Bella once she was out of my sight.
I need to learn to relax.
--LRM--
“I think I may have narcolepsy.” Bella stated as she stretched.
She was so random.
We were in the Vanquish, on our way to Laguna Beach and She’d just woken up.
“Bella, you don’t have narcolepsy.” I said with a smile.
“I don’t know Edward, every time I ride in a Vanquish, I fall asleep.” She grinned.
“I’m not surprised after all that alcohol.” I muttered.
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” She said with an arched glare. “Maybe I just have carcolepsy?”
I laughed and shook my head. I reached for her hand, placing it between us. “I don’t know how I’ll survive a whole month without you Bella.”
“Edward, we were apart for a month after Valentine’s Day.” She reminded.
“That’s true, but I knew that at any time I could hop a plane and be there in about three hours. England is so far…” I drifted off.
“It will be okay Edward. It’s your career. We’ll make due.”
I should be comforting her, not the other way around.
I’m such a pussy.
“Bella.” I glanced at her with a serious expression. “I know this isn’t an option, I guess I’m just curious.”
“What Edward?”
“I just wondered, if you were through with school, would you have considered going to England with me? I mean if I’d asked?” I wouldn’t blame her for saying no.
“Yes I would have gone. Would you have asked?”
“Absolutely Bella. I always want to be with you. Now that I have you, it doesn’t feel right when we’re apart. Aside from just plain missing you, I also worry all the time whether or not you’re okay.” I sighed.
“You shouldn’t, you’ll get worry lines. Then you’ll be out of a job.“ She tried to joke.
At least she doesn’t think I’m overreacting.
I smiled and shook my head.
I could tell by Bella’s reaction that she loved the Ritz. I’d never been here before, but Alice had recommended it.
“Wow” she said. “You outdid yourself this time Mr. Movie Star.” She smiled.
We decided to take a walk on the beach before sunset.
“I can’t get over all the colors. I’m used to the grey and green landscapes back home.“ Bella said as we walked.
“It is beautiful.“ I said as I actually paid attention to my surroundings. “It’s funny Bella, I never noticed or cared about any of this stuff before I met you.”
“I understand Edward. I’m definitely looking at the world through different eyes now. It’s kind of incredible.” She smiled.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
We had a late dinner in our suite. Afterwards, Bella wanted to go down to the hotel bar for a nightcap.
I cringed. I wasn’t sure if I could tell her no.
I tried. I really did.
“Bella, if I agree to this you have to promise just one drink and then we come back to the room okay?”
“Sure Edward, that would be fine.” She smiled and shrugged. “Edward, be honest, are you afraid you’ll get drunk and do something embarrassing?”
She was absolutely clueless about her drunken behavior.
“Exactly Bella. I live in fear of doing something embarrassing. That’s why I wouldn’t drink during our lunch today.” I muttered sarcastically.
“Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m the only one who drank then.”
I rubbed my chin with my hand while looking down into her eyes. “Or maybe it’s a good thing that you’re so damned endearing when you’re tipsy.”
She looked confused. “Don’t worry about it Bella.” I said as I pecked her lips. “Let’s go get that drink.”
The bar was nice. We found a dark secluded table and proceeded to have not one drink, but two. I was even able to talk Bella into dancing.
Maybe her drinking isn’t such a bad idea after all.
I was just coming back from the rest room when I noticed a creepy motherfucker standing way too close to my girl.
I sped up my steps to reach them sooner.
“Wah Da Tah.” I heard Bella say as I approached the table.
“Sine your pitty on the runny kine.” She said seriously.
Why the hell is she speaking like Pootie Tang again?
The jerk hovering over her looked at Bella like she was crazy, but he was still too damn close.
“Excuse me.” I said as he grabbed his shoulder, moving him away from Bella. “Would you kindly step away from my girlfriend, before I have you forcibly removed?”
The arrogant motherfucker threw his hands up in surrender. “Hey man, I didn’t mean anything. No blood no foul right?” He had the nerve to smile at me. “You really should keep a better eye on your girlfriend if you want to keep her.”
I want to punch him.
He gave Bella a wary look. “On second thought, she’s all yours. That chick is a little too strange for me.” He shook his head as he walked away.
You’d better believe that she’s all mine.
I turned toward Bella. “Bella, is it possible, or could I have just imagined that you were using Pootie Tang-speak to get that guy to leave?” I smiled at her.
“Wa Da Tah.” She said, smiling.
She was amazing. A little crazy. A lot sexy. Definitely amazing.
I sat down. She jumped into my lap and kissed the amazement right off my face. That was the second time today that she’d ’stealth’ kissed me.
I liked it. A lot.
I couldn’t help myself, I started to laugh as I thought about her behavior today. “Bella, I’ve always found you amusing, but the drinking has unlocked a whole other side of you. But, be that as it may, we’re calling a moratorium on alcohol until Friday.”
She tried to pout.
“Come on Drunkella, time to go.” I smiled as I reached for her hand. “It’s been a long day.”
“Sa Da Tay.” She said in agreement.
***************************************************************************************
Chapter 29 - Day Trip For Bird Watchers
After she explained her dream, I couldn’t help but think that because of her anxiety over the times we had to be apart, her subconscious mind had brought all the painful separations of her past to the surface. Her childhood had been defined by a pattern of separation. First, she was wrenched from the only home she’d ever know when her parents divorced, separated for months at a time from the father and brother she loved. Years later, through the acts of a mad man, she was separated from her mother forever.
We both knew that the time was coming when we’d be apart again. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, it would just feel that way. At least a little. In my case, I knew that since I’d met Bella, everything was easier when we were together. I relaxed in her presence. She was the calming influence that I’d needed for years. It was easier to breathe.
It was getting harder and harder to be normal when she wasn’t around, and I was pretty sure that Bella felt the same way.
Now as long as I can keep my promise to not overreact when the paps or some random asshole upsets her…everything will be fine.
Thinking it best to put away all thoughts of the time when we’d be apart again, I decided the best idea would be to make this vacation as pleasant and memorable as possible for Bella.
Today, I planned to take her to Capistrano, a place that was about as different from her little town of Forks as you could get.
Of course I can’t share that with Bella, because she doesn’t know I’ve been to Forks. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to share that information with her. Maybe in a few years?
I am a pussy.
As we rode along on our way to Capistrano, I told Bella about the death of my character in The Harvest of Avarice. I was teasing her because of her emotional reaction to the death of my character in Time Stands Still.
“Edward, I’m glad my suffering amused you. I’d like to see your reaction if you had to watch me die.”
I felt as if I’d just received a gut punch. The thought of Bella not being in this world was too horrific to even imagine. At that moment, I knew without a doubt that if Bella wasn’t here, I wouldn’t want to be either.
Taking note of my reaction, Bella quickly apologized. “I’m sorry Edward, I know it’s not the same. I don’t know why I said that.” She patted my hand soothingly. “So, tell me more about this movie.”
It took a few minutes for my mind to recover from the horrible thought of losing Bella.
This was a good opportunity to change the subject, so I proceeded to tell her all about the new movie. I’d forgotten how carried away I could get when talking about a project, but Bella never seemed to get bored.
We had a wonderful day playing tourist in Capistrano. We tried to behave like normal everyday people enjoying the sights, trying not to draw attention to ourselves.
Except for when we sucked face in front of the Basilica, and drew a crowd.
I’d been to Capistrano more than once with my family, but everything was so much more enjoyable when I got to see it through Bella’s eyes.
Little did she realize that today was a test of sorts for me. If I could curb my over-protectiveness of her in this public place, knowing that Sidney wasn’t around if things got a little hairy, then I would be able to handle the paps when we got back to L.A.
I’m improving. I think.
Now if Bella could only stop arguing every time I spend money on her…
She was chilly, almost to the point of her teeth chattering. I took charge of the situation and immediately purchased a knit wrap for her to wear over her dress. The look on her face told me that she didn’t approve of the price. I, on the other hand, thought it very little to pay in order to ensure her comfort.
Having grown up with money, it wasn’t really something I thought about. I knew that Bella was of a different mindset. Before Emmett made it big in the NFL, no one in her family had a lot of money. I suspect that when she lived with her mother, there was actually very little to spare. She seemed to view all money spent on her as a waste, as though she wasn‘t worthy of it. Nothing could be further from the truth.
She didn’t understand that spending money on her made me happier than I’d been in years. I had my work cut our for me, dealing with Bella’s self-esteem issues.
Our next stop was lunch at a little restaurant that had a beautiful view of the Old Mission. We had just settled at our table when Bella said, “Oh Edward, they have an extensive list of California wines, we should try one.”
Fuck that idea.
I responded quickly. “Um, Bella, I’m afraid that after yesterday, alcohol is not an option for us.”
“Why would you say that?” She actually looked puzzled.
“Bella, don’t you remember the moratorium?”
I watched her as she thought for a moment. Suddenly she got a panicked look on her face before covering it with her hands.
“Oh Edward, please tell me I didn’t make a complete fool of myself in front of Johnny. What must he think of me?” She looked as if she was going to cry.
Not being able to bear seeing her in pain, I immediately flew out of my chair and crouched down beside her. “Bella, don’t cry. There is no reason for that. Johnny’s a friend, I’ve known him for two years. Believe me when I say that he likes you.”
She peeked out from behind her hands, trying to blink the tears away. “Really?”
“Of course, when you were eating do you know what he told me?”
“That I’m insane and should be committed?” She asked.
I chuckled. “No, he whispered that I’d be a fool to ever let you get away from me. I had to agree.”
I watched as she visibly relaxed.
As usual, this was my fault. Instead of looking out for my girlfriend’s best interest, I let her drink to the point of embarrassment. “I feel responsible for yesterday, I should never have let you drink without eating first.” I said sadly as I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand.
“Edward, no guilt trips. I’m a grown woman, although sometimes I don’t act like one. I do have to tell you something though.“
“Yes?“
“You know when I went to the ladies room before we left, our waitress was in there.“
My curiosity was piqued.
“And, she didn’t wash her hands!“ Bella blurted.
Bella, in her drunken haze, had been right.
I couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled to the surface. Bella laughed along with me, until she suddenly stopped as if she’d just thought of something.
“What?“ I asked.
“Well, I don’t worry about me, I actually had a hepatitis shot last year before I did my student teaching.“
I know where she’s going with this.
I patted her hand, “Bella, I know what you’re thinking. My dad’s a doctor remember. Because of my travel schedule, he makes sure that I get every possible immunization. No worries.“ I grinned. “I just can’t believe you turned out to be right about the waitress, that is just nuts.”
“Thank heavens I don’t drink too often, although I should report her. Yuck. Anyway, at least it takes alcohol to make me act like a fool, my brother doesn’t have that excuse.”
We both laughed again.
Soon after that the server arrived to take our food order. A little later, on my way back from the rest room, I found Bella on the phone.
“Yeah, it was hard being so far away.” She said quietly to someone.
Bella listened to the person on the other end of the line.
“I have a few minutes if you want to talk now.” She said.
I wonder if she’s speaking to her brother? Or Rose?
“Okay, Bye Brother Bear.”
Ah, Emmett.
Our lunch arrived, we’d both opted for seafood dishes. We shared bites of our food as we chatted. Bella regaled me with stories about the colorful cast of characters that she and Rose worked with. Unfortunately, I’d only met a few of the people at WIRI, and most of those had been assholes like Newton, or bitches like Camille.
After lunch, it was time to leave Capistrano and head back to the hotel. I didn’t tell Bella, but I wanted as much alone time with her as I could get. All too soon we would be back at my sister’s, and with the arrival of Rose and Emmett tomorrow, our quality ‘alone time’ would be almost nonexistent.
--LRM--
“Edward, I think this may be the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen.” Bella smiled over to me as we watched it from the balcony of our suite.
After we’d watched the sunset, and I’d spent a little time holding my girl in my arms, at Bella’s insistence we went out for burgers. It was fun for a change to eat somewhere ‘casual’.
Hope Alice doesn’t find out.
As we sat enjoying our burgers and fries, I knew that the fans were paying close attention. If this encounter followed the same pattern that they usually did, they would wait until we’d eaten to ask for the odd photo or autograph.
Just like clockwork, as soon as Bella and I had taken our last bite, a couple of girls approached our table.
“Um hi.” One of the girls said, flustered. “I was just wondering, I mean would it be okay, oh gosh, can I get a photo with you Mr. Masen?”
My fans were always very polite.
I smiled and stood to greet her. “Of course. It’s Edward by the way. What’s your name?” I asked as I reached to shake her hand.
“I’m Claire, and this is my friend Robyn, we’re really big fans.” Claire squeaked out.
“Nice to meet you girls.” I answered.
I noticed Bella watching me with an adoring look on her face. I couldn’t help myself, I winked at her.
After posing with several fans in several photos, some of which included Bella, it was finally time to go.
As we drove back to the hotel, I was smiling when I glanced at Bella.
She was watching me intently.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing.” She flushed.
“Definitely something.” I questioned.
“Okay, I don’t think you realize how nice that was, the way you treated your fans.”
“Oh” I shrugged. “It’s simple really, without my fans, I wouldn’t have a career. Sometimes, I get to show them how much I appreciate them. It makes us both happy.”
--LRM--
When I emerged from the bathroom after my shower, I found Bella sitting nervously on the edge of the bed.
“Hi” I said as I walked over and sat beside her.
“Hi” She answered. “and thank you” she continued.
“For what?”
“For today, believe me when I say that it was one of the best days of my life. The more time I spend with you, the more normal I feel.” She said sincerely.
The feeling is mutual Beautiful Bella.
“I’m glad you enjoyed today Bella. The time we spend together means the world to me.” I reached over and took her hand, holding it between both of mine. “So” I started “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
She cleared her throat. “Bothering me?”
I tilted her chin, and looked into her eyes. “Yes Bella, something’s been bothering you for a couple of days now. Please tell me before I lose my mind.” I pleaded with her.
I had been so careful to not overreact. Maybe she’s decided that this is all too much for her. Maybe she doesn’t want this life after all.
My heart sank into my stomach.
She sighed.
“It’s just that, Monday night we got really close. I mean, we went a little farther then I intended.” She eyed me nervously.
I knew I’d let things go too far.
She watched me as she spoke. “Before you take the blame, I want you to stop right there. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. I know it’s just part of the natural course. We’re in love and it’s normal to want to show one another physically how much we mean to each other.”
That is true, but after the screwed-up shit that Bella has lived through, I should have been more considerate.
She fidgeted with the hem of her nightgown as I nodded.
“I have several reasons why I don’t want to go any further physically, yet.”
“Which are?” I asked.
I had a feeling I knew at least some of them.
“Well, don’t be upset okay? But it’s only been a few days since you left me. I want to make sure that you won’t do that again.”
I wanted to tell her that there was absolutely no chance of that ever happening again, but she silenced me with a finger on my lips. “No, Edward, I don’t think you’ll leave again, but time is the best way to prove that to me.”
I nodded.
I will give her all the time in the world. I will give her forever if she will let me.
“Next, we haven’t given the Tanya revelation enough time to resonate with the public. At the moment, all our feedback is positive. I believe that will fluctuate. I want to make sure our relationship is strong enough to weather anything. I know I'm not going anywhere, but you will have to learn to deal with negative things that are said about me. Again, time is the only way to gauge it.”
This had also been on my mind. But I knew there was something else.
I looked at her, narrowing my eyes. “There’s something more Bella. What aren’t you telling me?”
She took a deep breath. “Okay. It’s really hard to be apart from you. I think about you all the time, I mope around and drive everyone crazy.”
I smiled. It was exactly the same for me.
“I’m just afraid that if we take that next step, I know it will be even harder to be apart.”
I understood what she meant.
We both have obligations right now. Bella has her schooling, I have my career. It’s impossible to avoid these periods of separation.
“Bella, I’ve been thinking about this also. Sometimes it scares me how much our minds are in tune with each other. I think it would be a good idea to wait a while for that next step.” I began to rub soothing circles on the back of her hand. “You mean so much to me. I don’t want to make love to you, and then travel halfway around the world. I’d rather we have some kind of permanent commitment.” I looked into her eyes as I said this.
Dear God, I hope she wants the same thing. I wouldn’t survive if she sent me packing.
“Oh Edward, I agree” I sagged in relief at those words. “I was worried that when you would leave me, I’d feel so lost. I want to feel that I truly belong to you. Don’t get me wrong, I know you love me and would come back to me.” She seemed to stumble with her words. “It’s such a huge step for me. I guess I found out that I‘m old fashioned.” She laughed. “Old fashioned but with the mouth of a sailor. Please tell me you‘re not disappointed.”
Far from being disappointed, I was elated.
Bella wanted forever. Forever with me.
I laughed and shook my head. “I‘d have asked you to marry me weeks ago, if I‘d thought you‘d say yes.”
She looked a bit stunned. “What?”
“It’s just that as soon as I got to know you, I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you Bella. Now you’re telling me that you feel the same way, I’m definitely not mad, I’m actually floored at the moment.”
I pulled her to me. “I want us to get married. When I have to travel, I want you with me. I want to have a family with you. I don’t want us to be apart if we can avoid it.”
“Edward, don’t ask me yet.” She blurted.
I was almost amused by the urgency in her voice, then I realized what she’d said.
“Edward, I want all of that too, but just wait a while. Charlie would flip his shit if you proposed this soon.”
I relaxed a little. “Okay, but now that I know this can really happen, don’t expect me to wait too long Miss Swan. I want the Mike Newton’s of the world to know that you’re off the market.” I smiled at her and winked.
“Oh, is that the only reason Edward?” Bella grinned. “Just deflating Mike’s hopes?”
That fucker.
I growled. “Well, there’s also the fact that I never have to let you go, you’ll be mine forever. I get to keep you, and take care of you.”
I leaned down and lightly brushed our lips together. “Could you handle forever with me Bella?” I brushed my lips against Bella’s again, before claiming them.
Bella moaned as she parted them, granting me access. She tasted like strawberries. “Was that a yes Miss Swan?” I breathed, our lips still touching.
“Yes” She breathed back.
The kiss grew in intensity as our bodies pulled closer together. I leaned into the kiss until Bella was lying back on the bed, my body pressed on top of hers.
Bella seemed to slow the tempo of our kissing and pulled away a little.
I did it again. Why is it impossible for me to be a gentleman around Bella? Damn it, my erection is pressed against her hip.
I felt terrible for the fact that I had immediately disregarded what we’d talked about just a few minutes before, so I began to move away.
“No, don’t pull away. I want to feel you close.” She whispered, as she held herself against me.
I sighed, and tried to relax a little. My hard-on was not going away any time soon.
“Edward, I’m sorry. This is probably so unpleasant for you, I feel so mean and selfish.”
“Bella, you are the most pleasant form of torture I could think of. Don’t feel bad baby. Remember, I’ve waited a lot of years for you, without even knowing why I waited. I can be patient.” With that, I kissed her again.
“But Bella” I breathed against her lips. “Everyone’s opinion be damned, I will be asking soon.”
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