Where was the verbal tsunami that only Rose can inflict on her enemies?
It seemed to have evaporated. I was stunned into silence. Emmett on the other hand was having none of it. “You’ve got to be kidding Rose.” He said incredulously.
“Do I look like I’m kidding Emmett?” Rose said quietly. “Look, I heard Edward’s side of everything.” Rose raised her eyebrows and exhaled a breath. “I also called Alice to corroborate certain facts, and Bella doesn’t have any reason to be angry with Edward. The only thing he did wrong was try to be too much of a gentleman by not talking to Bella about this sooner.”
I was so confused now that my head felt like it was spinning.
Emmett was still hostile. “No fucking way does he get to talk to my sister alone.”
“Emmett! You know that I’m a pit bull where Bella’s concerned, if I say they need to talk, THEY NEED TO TALK! You will come with me now!”
My brother knew when he’d lost a fight. Before exiting my apartment, he turned to Edward and said “I still owe you a good ass-kicking, don’t think I’ll forget.”
“Emmett!” Rose grabbed his arm and they both headed out of the door.
Edward and I were left alone in my living room. I sat at one end of my sofa, he at the other. He watched me warily for a few minutes.
“I’m trying to think of where to start.” He said.
“The beginning would be nice.” I stated coolly.
“Okay. So I already told you about the reasons I was more than happy to leave Seattle, and move to L.A. right?”
“Yes, Edward.”
I wish he’d just get to the point.
“Well, if you ever saw my first film, you know that it was a silly teenage fluff piece. Boy meets girl, boy almost loses girl as a result of his own stupidity, boy redeems himself, gets girl back.”
“Yes Edward, I’ve seen it.”
“That was the first time Tanya and I worked together. The studio got so much positive feedback about us as a couple that, they made it be known, in no uncertain terms, that they ‘liked’ our on-screen relationship. They liked it so much, that they encouraged us to pursue an ‘off-screen’ relationship as well.”
With those words, my chest started to feel a little tight.
“Tanya even expressed interest in doing so, but I let her know that we would never be more than friends. You have to understand Bella that after what Meghan had done to me, I wasn’t sure that I could ever trust a woman again. Tanya and I have never been more than friends.”
I was stunned into silence again. All the stories, all the ‘kiss and make up’ moments reported ad nauseam by the gossip rags, all the photos of the ’happy couple’, everything had been manufactured? For all these years?
Edward continued. “In the beginning, we only appeared together in public at premieres and award shows. I was happy that the press’s attention had been diverted from speculating about my personal life. Tanya and I were both satisfied with the arrangement, especially when the increase in our popularity benefited our careers. We both became willing accomplices of the studio‘s lust for money.”
“Edward, why would you agree to this? What if you met someone and fell in love?”
“Bella, I never thought it would happen. I’d been so utterly destroyed by Meghan, that I never put another thought into the fact that there may have been someone out there for me. Looking back, I realize just how foolish that was.” His eyes glimmered as he watched my face.
“The next part of this story is the reason I couldn’t tell you everything right away. This part wasn’t mine to tell, and I needed to meet with Tanya and explain how I felt about you, before letting you know everything.”
“Okay.” I was still reeling from part one of his confession, I couldn’t imagine where this conversation would go next.
“By the way, she feels terrible about what she said to the press over the weekend. I hadn’t spoken with her yet about us when they got that soundbyte, she had no idea.”
I guess I can appreciate Tanya’s remorse. It would be weird to start
thinking of her in a good light.
I’ve been so jealous of her.
“Tanya was swept away by Hollywood excess. Those first several years, she became quite a partier. The studio tried to guard her image, but she did several stupid things. When she was caught on video snorting cocaine, the studio acquired the film, and have kept it ‘under wraps’ biding their time. Tanya was told she’d have no need to worry about its release, as long as she continued doing the studio’s bidding.”
Hollywood is such a cesspool. This sounds like the plot to a movie itself.
“She began making more of our relationship to the press. I, on the other hand, never said a word about our fictitious romance.”
That was true, as Rose and I could testify, Edward adamantly refused to speak about his personal life to the press.
He continued.
“Whereas I didn’t have a problem giving the appearance of being Tanya’s love interest, I was never comfortable with telling outright lies.”
He paused, thinking. “Tanya calmed down when she met Felix.”
“Felix? Wait, as in Felix your bodyguard?” I asked.
“Yes. I hired Felix three years ago. Tanya met him on set one day when I worked with her on a film. After that, she didn’t go out to parties, she didn’t drink to excess, and she never did any more drugs. They fell hopelessly in love with each other, and were secretly married last year.”
What the? This shit is getting weirder and weirder.
I looked at the time. It was after midnight. I seriously needed a drink to handle the crazy. If I ever woke up from this bizarre dream, I wouldn’t give a flying rat’s ass if I did it with a hangover.
“Edward, I need alcohol.” Edward actually laughed, it was the most relaxed I’d seen him since he appeared at my door earlier this evening.
A few minutes later, with my bourbon and coke in hand, I let him continue.
“Anyway, Felix and Tanya are married. I asked Sidney to move to L.A. as my full-time bodyguard. He’s coming out next month. Felix is going to be with his wife, where he belongs. I also told them that they need to make some decisions because I wasn‘t going to keep my relationship with you a secret.”
“Tanya’s got the most to lose. She has lied to the media, kept her marriage a secret, and also, keep in mind that the studio could release that video and ruin her career. That’s why I’m letting her and Felix decide how they want to handle this. I will continue to be silent about Tanya in order to allow them a little time.”
“Well I guess it now makes sense that Tanya was never bothered by the other women.” I stated more to myself than to him.
Edward looked a little uncomfortable. “I promised I would tell you everything, and I will Bella.” He took a deep breath. “There were no ‘other women’ Bella. Those dates started about three years ago, and were the studio’s attempt to promote my ‘bad boy’ image. I never chose to go out with those women. Once again I was just ‘playing a part’.”
“For some reason, every time I was seen with someone other than Tanya, my popularity, along with hers, would explode. Hers was because everyone felt sorry for her. But mine was because people evidently like me better when I’m naughty.” He grinned.
“Edward, forgive me for doubting you but, that’s impossible. Some of those women would have blabbed that information to every gossip site and magazine out there.”
“They wouldn’t if they wanted to have a career in the business. The studio’s choices for these ‘dates’ were always very carefully thought out. They chose aspiring actresses or models, and always had them sign a non-disclosure agreement.”
Holy shit. Is anything written about celebrities’ lives true?
“So you see, every bit of the public image of Edward Masen has been manufactured. None of it is real. Edward Masen is not real. On the other hand, Edward Cullen, sitting here with you now, loves you more than anything, and hopes you will give him another chance.“ Edward had moved closer as he took my hand in his.
I wasn’t so easily distracted, I had questions. “Hold on, what kind of women would want to play the part of the ’other woman’ in public?” I asked.
“Ambitious ones Bella. Look, those girls came away thinking I was a wonderful guy that would never cheat on his ’girlfriend’, and they got a shot at their ‘dream career‘.” He smirked. “It was a win-win situation.”
He laughed as he thought of something.
“What are you laughing about Edward?”
“I was just thinking. I’m pretty sure that, up until I told her about you, Tanya was certain I was gay.” He was chuckling and shaking his head.
I didn‘t see the humor in that statement. “Why would she think that Edward? Is her ego so inflated that just because you didn’t want her, you must be gay?“
“Bella, haven’t you been listening? When I said there have been no ‘other women’, I meant it. There have been no other women.”
Hold on. Could he be saying what I think he is? “Edward, what are you saying?”
He sighed in frustration. “Do I need to spell it out Bella. Until you, I haven’t had a relationship with anyone since Meghan. Apart from that, I haven’t had a physical relationship with anyone.”
I think Edward just told me he’s never had sex. Ever. With anyone. I need clarification.
“Edward, are you telling me that you’ve never had sex?”
He nodded apprehensively, looking as embarrassed as I felt.
As usual, my verbal filter failed me as I opened my mouth and breathed the words. “Fuck Me”.
Edward raised an eyebrow and smirked at me. “Really Bella?”
Oh my God. My head will NEVER be able to wrap around this.
“I need another drink.” I muttered. Edward joined me this time.
I didn’t know how long it would be before I’d be able to hold an intelligent conversation again. My brain was in serious need of a reboot.
We sat there quietly for a long time.
I scooted closer to him on the sofa. “So?”
“So?” he answered with a small smile.
“You realize I’m having a hard time processing this right?”
“I understand. Believe me, I would have gladly gone to my grave with that information but, you’d already been through so much in the last two days. I’ve put you through so much pain because of my stupidity Bella. I just decided that you should know everything.” He was so sweet and sincere and vulnerable.
I studied him for a few minutes. “You know what? I think it’s pretty great.”
He looked up with surprise. “You do?”
“Yeah. I always thought you were one of a kind Edward, this just proves it more.” I couldn’t help myself, I crawled into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He put his face against my neck and released a labored sigh. “I was so afraid I’d lost you.”
“I was afraid too Edward, I couldn’t see my future without you in it. It was terrifying.” I said sadly.
Maybe I am allowed to have the fairy tale after all.
“Bella, do you remember when we were in my old bedroom?” He asked.
“Yes.”
“I thought you would have figured it out that day when I told you that I wanted you that way. And about you being the ‘only one ever’.”
Holy crap. He did say that. I really need to pay better attention. Edward wants us to cash our v-cards in together! I don’t know whether to squee or throw up.
“Edward, I know it won’t be today, or even next week but, someday I’d like you to be my first and my last.” I whispered.
He looked at me with an awed expression on his face. “Me too Bella, me too.” He whispered back.
He pulled me into a tender embrace and kissed me passionately. We expressed our love through that kiss, making it clear that we would be each other’s first, last and only.
I lay in Edward’s arms, still seated on my sofa. Something was nagging at the edge of my brain. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It was as if I’d forgotten something, something important.
Then it hit me. “Edward, how much of this did you have to tell Rosalie?”
Edward looked chagrined. “Pretty much all of it.”
“Pretty much?” I asked, a sick feeling starting in the bottom of my stomach.
“Okay, I told her everything. I had to Bella, she wasn’t going to let me speak with you otherwise. I was desperate.” He said with a pleading look in his eyes.
I started to panic. “Edward, you don’t understand. If you told Rosalie, she will tell Emmett!”
Edward looked nervous.
“Bella, she said she’d keep the sex part to herself.”
“Oh Edward, I’m sure she’ll try, but you don’t know my brother. He will figure out that there’s more to the story, especially since Rose looked so freaked out. God help us if he finds out you’re a vir-”
Just then my door flew open. Edward jumped up and, of course, I landed on the floor.
Speak of the freaking devil.
Emmett stood there with a crazed look on his face, while Edward helped me up. “I want to hear it from you, because there’s no fucking way I believe that you’re a virgin!” He shouted.
I’m sure that Edward and I bore matching expressions of horror at that exact moment.
Rosalie followed behind my brother looking sheepish and apologetic. “I’m so sorry Edward, I didn’t tell him, he figured it out.”
“I want to hear it Eddie? Is it true?” My brother asked incredulously.
“Yes.” Edward answered with a resigned sigh.
Emmett thought for a moment before speaking. A rare occurrence. “You mean to tell me that you’re twenty-four and never had in-ter-course?“ Emmett pronounced each syllable.
Edward, defeated, shook his head.
“Bumped uglies? Split the wishbone? Knocked boots? Mashed brakes? Bulled a chick? Laid Train?”
Edward continued shaking his head through the entire interrogation, as my eyes grew wide at my brothers idiocy.
“Emmett! Who are you Austin Powers? Shut Up!” I yelled.
But Emmett wasn’t done. “Edward, are you gay?”
Edward seemed unable to speak and therefore continued to shake his head in response.
“Are you sure?” my stupid brother pressed.
“Emmett!”
“Alright, alright!” Emmett got very quiet as he contemplated his new-found knowledge. After what seemed like forever, he finally spoke.
“Okay Eddie, tell you what I’ll do.” Emmett placed his arm around Edward’s shoulder as he walked him across the room. “I won’t tell anyone about your ‘issue’, but you’ve got to do something for me.”
I thought of all the ways Emmett could make Edward’s life a living hell. “Agree to it Edward!” I shouted. I didn’t care what Emmett wanted, Edward needed to agree, or face a life of torment.
If anyone thought Emmett’s teasing of Jasper about the whole ‘Francis’ issue was bad, one could only imagine the million times worse it would be when Emmett capitalized on Edward’s ‘virgin’ status.
Emmett smiled like the Cheshire cat. “Before setting up the meeting between Charlie and Clint, you need to let me know so that we can plan things together.”
Oh shit. Was I willing to throw Charlie under the bus to save Edward? Abso-freakin-lutely.
I felt bad for a nanosecond.
“I’m going to teach you how to fuck…..um let me re-phrase, because I’m definitely not teaching you that. And you’d better not practice on my sister, oh God, I mean you’d better not practice on anyone else either and hurt my sister. Oh shit…my advice is just stay a virgin til you die dude.”
“Anyway, as I was saying, I’m going to teach you how to fuck with Chief Charlie Swan.” Emmett said as a mischievous smile spread across his face.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, so often that it will probably be carved on my tombstone: Fuck My Life.
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