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Chapter 1 - CPR for The Dead Heart
Love Rescue Me
- music and lyrics by U2
Love rescue me
Come forth and speak to me
Raise me up and don't let me fall
No man is my enemy
My own hands imprison me
Love rescue me
Many strangers have I met
On the road to my regret
Many lost who seek to find themselves in me
They ask me to reveal
The very thoughts they would conceal
Love rescue me
And the sun in the sky
Makes a shadow of you and I
Stretching out as the sun sinks in the sea
I'm here without a name
In the palace of my shame
Said, love rescue me
I've conquered my past
The future is here at last
I stand at the entrance
To a new world I can see
The ruins to the right of me
Will soon have lost sight of me
Love rescue me
*Tuesday, December 22*
“Go ahead of us Edward. You need to go in there first.” Alice insisted. “Everyone else stand here with me for just a moment.” She instructed.
Alice had been acting strangely all morning. She always got like this when she ‘sensed’ something important about to happen.
I sighed in resignation.
“I’ll see you in there Alice.” My sister had started happily chatting to Jane about her plans for Christmas. I walked a little ahead of my ‘entourage’, as they call it in Hollywood.
Hollywood. Pretentious fucking cesspool. It’s so nice to be back home for a while. Away from the bullshit.
I approached the receptionist and watched, amused, as recognition flashed across her features.
Time to become Edward Masen.
“Hello.” I spoke in my most alluring voice. “I’m here to meet with Miss Whitlock. Where might I find her?”
I watched as the receptionist mumbled something, while attempting to pull herself together.
That shit never gets old.
I decided to go all out and flash her a smile. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to answer. Just point.” I murmured.
The poor girl raised a hand and pointed to a door marked Conference Room.
“Thanks.” I made my way over there to the semi-closed door.
As I approached I heard what sounded like an argument going on inside.
I saw a tall attractive blonde, she resembled Jasper so much that I knew she had to be his sister, Rosalie. I’d met her at Alice and Jasper’s wedding, but I honestly couldn’t remember, having literally flown to Seattle from a European press tour to be in that wedding, and then having to fly back immediately afterward.
At the moment, I couldn’t be bothered about that because all of my attention was suddenly drawn to the beautiful brunette speaking with her. My eyes wandered down her body as I listened to them talk. Her voice was as lovely as the rest of her.
“Maybe I should just strip down to my panties and bra, and parade through the station so I can face all my ultimate humiliations in one day?” The beautiful girl spoke.
Oh please do, it would be like having Christmas early this year.
Where the hell did that come from?
I cleared my throat to make them aware of my presence, while chuckling at her remark.
She immediately covered her face with her hands.
Could she be any more adorable? And she blushes.
At that moment the rest of my group started pushing into the room. I allowed Alice to make the necessary introductions as I surreptitiously watched the beautiful girl.
Those brown eyes. I could get lost in their depths.
I saw those beautiful eyes widen as she took in Felix’s towering form.
So she’s attracted to large hulking Neanderthals? Don’t even think about it sweetheart, he’s very much taken.
I was suddenly overcome with a strong emotion. Jealousy?
To be honest, I hadn’t been jealous in years, and couldn’t understand where all this was coming from.
Everyone around me was talking, but I just wanted to watch the beautiful girl. Making sure to sit directly opposite her at the table, I concentrated on trying to figure her out. I could feel my self-control slipping.
Nobody has this kind of effect on Edward Fucking Masen.
I heard Jasper inform Rose about the rules for the interview.
“I’m just really glad you agreed to this interview Mr. Masen, I promise you won’t regret it.” Rose was speaking to me now.
I couldn’t stand it any longer, I needed to know the girl’s name.
“Please Rose, call me Edward. After all, Jasper and Alice have told me so much about you that I feel like I already know you. However, I’m not acquainted with your friend” I said while tipping my head in the direction of the brunette beauty.
“Oh, forgive me, I wasn’t thinking. Edward, this is Isabella Swan, my assistant. Um, that sounds so cold, actually she’s so much more, she’s my dearest friend, and her brother is my boyfriend, so we’re very close.”
Ah, so she’s Emmett Swan’s sister. Having such a well-known brother, I’m sure she’s very popular. She’s so beautiful. I’ve no doubt she has a slew of men lined up, trying to get close to her.
“I’m glad to see that you are as comfortable with nepotism as I am Rose” I stated, faking a smile.
“Hey, in this business, it’s all about ‘who you know’ right?” she answered.
She doesn’ t look like the type to ‘play the field’, she probably has a steady boyfriend. One that worships the ground she walks on, as it should be.
I could feel my bad mood from earlier today returning.
“Absolutely” I stared at Miss Swan. “And often ‘who you are related to’.”
Swan, like the beautiful graceful bird.
Alice started blabbering on about her business. Normally I would be a polite brother and listen, but today I didn’t give a shit.
Whatever Alice, I already know you hate my choice in clothing. Blah blah blah. I shouldn’t be that way about Alice. I’m such a bastard today.
Alice was telling them about her business partner Chris. Now Chris is someone I like, he’s pretty fucking funny. Just then I heard the most enrapturing sound. Miss Swan was giggling.
What was so funny? Did I miss something?
Rose and Jasper hammered out the details for the interview. I found it impossible to tear my gaze away from Miss Swan. She, on the other hand, did everything she could to avoid my stare.
What the hell is so interesting about her coffee. It has to be cold by now.
I decided to join in the conversation. “I’m in town for the holidays, and will be staying until the day after New Years, so I figured it would be a good time to do this interview. Jasper’s been trying to coax me into it for a while now”. That got Isabella to look up.
Good. I thought with some satisfaction.
Rose was still talking to me. “Now, of course, I’m aware that your people are all on vacation for the next week or so. I’ll be glad to send someone from the station to be your personal assistant for the three days.”
No thanks Miss Whitlock, I don’t need a personal assistant after Alec leaves. Wait a minute! Maybe I do.
No, it can’t really be this easy.
“Well, I think I would like to request Miss Swan as my assistant. She seems quite capable of handling my needs”.
I must have caught Isabella by surprise, because she proceeded to cough and splutter, spilling her coffee all over her thin…white….top….
Fuck me.
I could see the lace outline of her bra, and her heaving chest through the wet, now see-through material.
I was instantly hard.
What the fuck? Where was this coming from? I’ve done semi-nude scenes with the most beautiful actresses in Hollywood and never had this reaction.
I still laugh when I think of ‘what’s her name’, er, Josie or Jody, the chick that was in September Ends with me. She came away from that shoot convinced I was gay because I had no ’physical’ reaction to her naked body writhing all over me. I think Dr. Gould refers to it as my ‘intimacy and trust’ issues.
I prefer to think of it as my ex-girlfriend causing me to keep my dick in a lock box for almost seven years. Ironically, the same dick which she, herself, never even saw or touched.
Now what? After all this time, I see a cute brunette in a wet shirt and can’t control myself?
Damn it. It looks like she’s going to cry. Fix this Edward.
“Let me help.” I said as I jumped from my chair and made my way around to her, removing my jacket as I went. I placed it around her shoulders as I turned her to face me. I closed the sides across her very wet chest. Those eyes were drawing me in.
Oh God, her scent is intoxicating. What the hell is going on? I can’t think clearly.
I resisted the urge to kiss her, barely.
“Back to the personal assistant issue.” Rose was suddenly beside us.
Where the hell did she come from?
“Bella is my assistant Edward. I don’t think she’d be comfortable working that closely with you.” Rose continued.
I could understand her reasoning. My reputation did precede me, but I couldn’t let this opportunity slip away. I needed to know why I was having this reaction to this girl.
I breathed into Isabella’s ear. “I really must insist on having Miss Swan.”
Why the hell did I say it that way?
Then I turned toward Rosalie. “This is a stipulation of granting the interview.”
There, that should show her that I’m serious.
“Well, Edward, I must insist that you take your stip-u-la-tion and stick it up your..”
Is she still speaking?
“Rose! I’ll do it” Isabella told her.
Oh thank God.
“What? Bella you don’t need to do this.” Rose grabbed Isabella, turning her to face away from me.
That is really unacceptable.
“The interview’s not that important. I would never put you in this position”. Rose was really worked up.
For the first time ever, I regretted the public persona that I’d created.
“No, Rose, really I’m fine with it as long as you can spare me.” Isabella replied.
“Are you sure? Bella, I don’t want you upset. You’d have to spend a lot of alone time with Edward. Can you handle that?”
What is going on?
I looked at Isabella’s face as she looked at mine.
“I’m good Rose. Just part of my job okay?”
I was taken aback by Isabella’s sudden shift to the professional.
“Listen here Masen, I don’t like this, but Bella is a grown woman and I can’t make her decisions for her. Just know this“, Rose was still speaking, will this shit never end. “Bella isn’t like the females you’re used to toying with. She’s fragile.”
Fragile?
I was just regretting my insistence, when Isabella blushed again.
Why do I feel so drawn to this lovely creature?
“That girl‘s brother is Emmett Swan, yes THE Emmett Swan of the Seattle Seahawks“
Yeah, I figured that out a while ago.
“I know your reputation, and if you cause her any distress, Emmett will not even have the chance to rip your balls off, because I will beat him to it!”
I felt a mixture of both amusement and chagrin that Rose obviously believed the lie that was Edward Masen.
“Oh my gosh, Rose, enough!” Isabella almost shouted.
Obviously she wasn’t a timid little mouse all of the time. She may even be a little spitfire given the proper motivation.
I cannot believe the lecherous turn my thoughts have taken. My parents raised me better than this. I need to make a quick exit.
“Are we through here?” I asked “Because I really need to see my parents before settling into my hotel.”
“Yeah, I guess we’re through” Rose was still angry. It’s a shame that I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, be able to ease her mind.
The group walked out of the conference room, leaving Isabella and myself behind. I saw Alice give Isabella a look before leaving.
Not sure what to think of that.
I studied Isabella’s face for a moment. There’s no way to avoid this, I need to know her better. I must find out the reason for these feelings. I must be back in control.
“Good day Miss Swan, it was a pleasure to meet you.”
She didn’t answer.
Because she probably thinks you’re an asshole.
I walked away. It was the hardest thing I’d done in years.
--V&V--
“Mother, I promise that I’ll stay here from Christmas Eve until the day after Christmas. I just don’t want to push my luck. We’ve kept the paparazzi away from you and Dad all these years, it’s important that I don’t screw that up.”
“Edward, how naïve are you? They know about us. Once every few months I get a phone call requesting an interview.”
This was news to me.
“Don’t look at me like that Edward. I knew you’d overreact, and it’s really not a big deal to your father and I. They don’t come near the house.”
I wonder why not?
As if reading my thoughts Mother answered. “Edward, they hang around your hotel to see if you’re staying there alone.” She quirked an eyebrow at me. “Those are the money shots dear, not a boy visiting his parents for Christmas.”
“Alright, alright, you know I don’t take my ’fake dates’ to Seattle, so stop teasing.” I grinned at her.
She grinned back and then looked concerned. “Edward, you really haven’t met anyone in Hollywood that you’re interested in?”
This was the same old conversation that we had at least once a month. I sighed.
“No Mother.”
At least not in Hollywood.
“Hmm. Alice was certain you’d become involved before the end of the year.” She said, deep in thought.
“I’m glad that my love life, or lack thereof, is an interesting topic of conversation for you and Alice.”
She grinned. “It’s not interesting, not in the least. The fake stuff’s a lot more fun.”
“Mom!” I scolded as I laughed.
“Seriously though, Edward, I want a lot of grandchildren. You can’t expect Alice to do all the work!”
I looked at my mother in shock, as she laughed at me.
Just then, my father walked into the kitchen.
“Esme, leave the boy alone. I’m glad he hasn’t taken up with one of those Hollywood women.” My father said with disdain. “I doubt you’d get any grandchildren from the likes of them.”
My father was right, most of the women I’d taken on ‘fake dates’ were one hundred percent self-absorbed. I couldn’t see them doing anything as selfless as raising a child.
Isabella would probably be a wonderful mother. I could imagine a little girl with her beautiful eyes and hair.
“Edward, are you still with us?” My Dad asked in his amusement.
“Yeah, still here.” I answered, still a little distracted.
My phone rang. Jasper.
“Hey Jasper, what’s up?” I answered.
“Hey Edward, I’ve got a list of questions from Rose for the interview. I already disqualified a few. I need you to okay the rest. We’ll go over it as soon as I can get Alice away from these stores.” Jasper sounded tired. “We were only supposed to be stopping for one thing.”
“Good luck with that Jasper. Hopefully, I’ll see you soon.” Or not considering my sister’s penchant for shopping.
Alice and Jasper arrived by three o’clock and we went over the list, narrowing the questions down to a little over twenty that I could live with.
I heard Jasper on the phone with Rose a little while later. It sounded like she was giving him shit about it.
I wonder if Isabella is there with her?
I decided to head over to my hotel so that Sidney could have the rest of the night off. I said goodbye to my family, promising to meet my parents for breakfast.
--V&V--
The concierge, a stunning blonde, greeted me upon check-in. “Mr. Masen, welcome. We have your preferred suite available. My name is Julia, please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.” She handed me her card, and then leaned in closer. “And I mean anything.”
It never ceases to amaze me how some women have no self-respect. But I guess she is responding to the persona that I created.
I flashed my smile. “Thank you Julia. I’ll let you know if I require anything.”
All I will need from you beautiful is my laundry done and food delivered. Definitely not what you’re hoping for.
I smirked as I closed my door. Solitude.
Why did being alone feel so wrong all of a sudden? I channel-surfed, I web-surfed, I tried a multitude of my usual distractions to no avail.
No matter what I did, my thoughts drifted back to the beautiful face and lovely brown eyes that had seemingly captured the whole of my interest.
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Ten more minutes on the treadmill should do it.
I had tried for the better part of an hour and a half to purge Isabella from my thoughts. Nothing worked. I eventually decided that a workout in the hotel’s fitness room was in order.
My flight had been so early this morning, that I’d not been able to exercise today. That was soon remedied.
After the treadmill, I’ll relax in the sauna, and a certain brown-eyed beauty will be as good as forgotten.
I sighed as I shut off the treadmill.
Who am I kidding? I only met the girl a few hours ago, and already she’s taken up residence in a large section of my head. Not to mention the effect she has on me below the belt.
“Christ.” I muttered.
A half hour in the sauna did me no good.
Just face it Edward, you’re not going to be back in control of your life until you figure this out.
I showered and dressed. Unable to bring myself to stare at the walls of my suite for the rest of the evening, I opted to have a late dinner in the hotel restaurant.
I was oblivious to anything going on around me as I ate. I spent the time texting back and forth with Alice.
Edward-
What’s going on in that head of yours?
-Alice
I’ll let you know as soon as I figure it out Alice. At the moment, avoidance would have to be the key.
Alice-
I don’t know what you’re talking about. Have you been drinking Dad’s ‘special’ eggnog again?
-Edward
It didn’t take long for her answer.
Little brother who should always listen to his big sister-
As a matter of fact I have, the batch he made this years is soooo good. I’ll try to save you some. Hold on, I know what you’re doing. Stop trying to distract me Edward. You are interested in Bella, don’t even attempt to deny it.
-She who knows best
Alice is even bossier when tipsy.
She who should mind her own business-
Please don’t ask me about that right now. I’m trying to sort things out. As soon as I know, you’ll know.
-Your long-suffering brother
I hope that shuts her up for a while.
He who never learns his lesson-
I’ll let it rest for now, but please Edward- soon.
Love you, see you tomorrow.
-Your favorite sister
What was her name again. Judy? Or was it Julie? Eh, no matter.
I noticed her lame attempt at ‘holding my gaze’ and almost laughed out loud.
I really hope she doesn’t become a problem. I wonder if she realizes that one complaint from me, and she loses her job. I've done it before. The world is filled with stupid people, and she’s obviously one of them.
I quickly signed for the check and exited the restaurant before June had the chance to place her job in any further jeopardy.
There are reasons I always chose Hotel 1000 when in Seattle. First would be the fact that it is the most technologically advanced hotel I’ve ever stayed in. I can’t help it, I’m a guy and I love gadgets.
My second reason would be the quiet comfort offered by their beds. Second only to my own home in Los Angeles.
Tonight, however, I may as well have been sleeping on a bed of nails. I tossed and turned for hours. I was only able to finally settle down once I began to think about Isabella Swan.
I retraced her beautiful features in my mind, and before I knew it I was drifting off into a peaceful, welcome slumber.
--V&V--
I woke so late that I had to call my parents and apologize for missing breakfast, promising to catch up with them later. I knew they were attending a charity dinner this evening, so I probably wouldn’t see them again until tomorrow.
I showered and dressed for the day in Alice approved clothing, deciding I would go back to the television station and possibly speak with Isabella.
Maybe if I spent a little time with her, this infatuation would disappear once and for all.
When I arrived at the station, I didn’t even bother stopping at the receptionist desk upstairs. Instead I merely winked at her as I made my way past, and continued on down the hallway.
As I rounded the corner heading toward several office doors, I was greeted with the back of none other than Isabella. She was speaking with some guy who was leering at her.
Please tell me that’s not her boyfriend. He looks like an asshole. Stupid fucker would never be good enough for her.
I walked a little closer until I could hear what they were saying, neither of them yet aware of my presence.
“Mike, that’s not going to happen. You. Are. A. Co-worker. Period.
None of this is your business” Isabella was getting angry. I liked it.
So he’s not a boyfriend. Good.
“But Bella baby we could be so good together.”
What a prick. If that fucker leers at her one more time, I’m going to kick his ass.
Where the hell did that come from?
The next words out of Isabella’s mouth almost sent my brain and body into meltdown. “Michael, that’s never going to happen. I can’t even pretend that I appreciate your concern. That comment was completely inappropriate. And let me just add this, if I were to decide to have wild unprotected sex with Edward Masen and give birth to his love-child, it still would be none of your business!”
I wanted her. I wanted to pick her up right now, and take her out of here. I wanted to keep her forever.
What the fuck? I’ve got to get control of these emotions, or my head is going to explode.
I leaned against the wall for support and , instead of kidnapping Isabella, I opted for making her aware of my presence by clearing my throat.
She turned around with a stunned expression on her face. I couldn’t help but smirk at her.
“Hello Miss Swan, happy to see you so…animated today” I said, trying to show no emotion in my voice.
She seemed mildly affected by my presence. “Hello Mr. Masen, I’ll be with you in a moment” She turned back to face the douche bag.
No, don’t turn away from me. I need to see your eyes.
“Mike, we’re done here. I’ll be glad to speak with you about work-related issues at any time, but this subject is closed.” That asshole had the nerve to glance at me before finally going the hell away.
Isabella turned to me again. “Okay, Mr. Masen, I know you heard what I said to Mike before.”
“Yes, that was quite an eye-opening statement, Miss Swan”. She’s adorable.
“Well, here’s the thing. Mike can’t seem to take a hint, so I had to resort to being an appalling bitch to finally get through to him. I apologize for using your name the way I did, there was no excuse for that.”
Use my name however you want. While we’re at it, you have my permission to use my body too.
I’m hopeless.
I studied her face, and smiled as I walked with her down the hall. “Miss Swan, think nothing of it, and please call me Edward, after all we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other in the next week.”
“Then please call me Bella” She smiled.
I’d heard Rose call her that. Bella. Beautiful Bella. Very fitting.
“So, what brings you here Edward? Did you need me to get Rose?” She questioned.
“No, actually I came to see you.“
Damn it, now I have to tell her why.
I drew closer to her as I spoke, her scent just as intoxicating as yesterday. “Well, I thought that we should probably get to know one another, since we’re being thrown together next week. So….have dinner with me tonight?”
Oh that was smooth. Why don’t you just blurt out that you want her to be the mother of your children while you’re at it jackass?
For a moment, I thought that maybe she felt a little dazed by my close proximity.
Wishful thinking.
“No can do Edward. I’m having dinner with Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Alice tonight. And since I’m doing the majority of the cooking, I have to be there.”
“Oh” I was disappointed.
Think fast Edward.
“Well, how about lunch? Are you free now?”
Please say yes. It seems that a little coaxing would be in order right now.
“We can discuss my schedule and what I’ll need from you”. I was so close to her, I could smell the scent of her hair.
“What do you say Bella? Just say yes.” I said as I pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear “Please” I breathed, intoxicated by her scent.
To my surprise, Isabella uttered the only word that could save me from myself. “Yes”.
I felt absolutely giddy. Now I needed to order lunch. I guess we could have it delivered to my suite.
That would be perfect. You would have the alone time with her that you crave, and be able to figure this out.
That settled it. We were dining in the suite. “I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready.” I said as I reached over and stroked my fingertips across her cheek, causing her to blush.
“See you in a bit” I muttered.
“Bye” she squeaked.
I turned on my heel and got the hell out of there before I made a bigger fool of myself.
I sent a text to Sidney, telling him to bring the car to the front. I then needed to phone the concierge for her assistance.
Where the hell did I put her card?
I found the card tucked away in my wallet.
“Hello Mr. Masen, this is Julia. What may I assist you with?“ She said as she answered.
Your come-hither voice doesn’t mean anything to me darlin’. I thought as I almost laughed out loud.
“Yes, thank you. I need an assortment of Chinese lunch dishes delivered to my suite. I’ll leave it to your discretion to choose the best restaurant.”
I already knew which one was the best, but decided to test her efficiency.
“Of course Mr. Masen. Can I ask how many are to be dining?”
Did I hear an edge of jealousy in her voice?
Seriously?
“Just two of us, but I’d like an assortment, so order at least four different lunch platters and some soup.”
“I’m glad to help Mr. Masen. I’ll have them delivered to your suite in about a half hour.”
“Thank you.” I disconnected the call before she had a chance to respond.
I turned just in time to see the lovely Isabella enter the lobby.
My God she is so beautiful. She must have a boyfriend.
On the other hand, I’m Edward Fucking Masen, that ought to count for something?
This was all so frustrating. I have women throwing themselves at me on a daily basis. They’ve always been so predictable up until now.
This woman remains an enigma to me.
What was I doing? Was I looking for a relationship? Did I need to remind myself how I was almost destroyed by someone I thought I was in love with?
Isabella seems different, but there’s a very good chance that she’s just like all the rest, that she’s just like Meghan. I watched as she walked closer, and then she smiled at me.
My God, how can I ever compare this beautiful creature to Meghan?
We needed to go. “Did you drive?” I asked.
“No, Rose and I live so close that we walk to work, it’s just a couple of blocks. We only drive if the weather is really nasty.”
Why did this unsettle me? I don’t like the thought of her walking around the city, especially at night.
“I have a car and driver that I use when I‘m in Seattle.” I told her, just as Sidney pulled up to the curb.
I watched as she secured her hat, looking very much like a little girl.
I bet she was a lovely child.
“Do you like Chinese food?” I asked. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her face.
“Yes, I love it.” She responded quietly.
I helped Isabella into the back seat of the Mercedes. “Sidney, we need to return to the hotel please”.
I looked back at Isabella, “Bella, I took the liberty of having the concierge order our lunch. It should be delivered to my suite soon after we arrive.”
She looked abruptly nervous. Why would she be nervous?
Oh my God, I just informed her that I was taking her to my hotel suite, alone.
I’m such an ass. Of course she would be nervous about spending time alone with Edward Masen, well known philanderer. She has no reason to trust me. I need to ease her mind somehow.
“Is that a problem Miss Swan? I thought we could discuss things a little more comfortably at my hotel rather than in a restaurant.”
Please be okay with this Isabella. I need you to be okay with this.
“That sounds okay. I really don’t have a lot of time, but that’s fine.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
Knowing that we had a limited amount of time today, I suddenly had a brainstorm. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Alice.
Hey sis-
Need your help.
-E
Not surprising, she texted back immediately.
E-
Let me guess. You miss me so much that you feel the need to ‘tag along’ to dinner tonight?
-She who sees through your bullshit.
I almost laughed out loud.
Ali-
You’re too shrewd. I really need to go to this dinner tonight. Can you please get me an invite? Even if Rose hates my guts?
-E
Considering the way we left things yesterday, it is entirely possible that Rosalie would tell me to go ‘fuck myself’ before she’d invite me to dinner.
E-
I’ll see if Jasper can ‘charm her’.
-A
I hoped Jasper would be successful.
A-
Tell him that I need this. It’s important.
-E
Bella was sitting quietly beside me, gazing out the window.
E-
I know. Bella’s worth it Edward, you’ll see.
-A
My psychic sister.
Spying photographers outside the hotel doors, Sidney immediately went into bodyguard mode, and escorted Bella and I into the lobby.
“Wow, your driver is really helpful” Isabella remarked.
Hmm, I pay Sidney very well to be ’helpful’.
“I mean he kept those photographers from getting too close.“
Ah, Isabella thinks that Sidney is merely a chauffer.
“Oh yes. Well, Sidney is ex-military, and I also count on him as a bodyguard when I’m in town. I don’t seem to need one as badly as I do in L. A. , but you can never be too careful.“
When we arrived at the suite, I did my best to put Isabella at ease.
“What would you like to drink Bella?” I asked as I reached into the mini-fridge for my diet coke.
“Just a coke would be fine.” She answered with a smile.
I will never tire of that beautiful smile.
Just as I handed Bella her drink, our food arrived.
Of course the delivery person had to be a young girl, and of course she was star-struck. Normally I would make time to chat with a fan, but I was selfishly unwilling to use any of my ‘Bella time’ with anyone other than Bella.
I threw the girl a hundred, hoping that would make up for my ill mannered behavior.
As we unpacked the food, Bella teased me about ordering too much. I defended my logic, but inwardly I knew that many of my decisions in the last 24 hours didn’t make a lot of sense to anyone but me.
And possibly Alice.
I watched as she ate her lunch.
I need to be honest with her about the reasons for my behavior yesterday and today. I hope she doesn’t run away screaming.
“I don’t know what it is about you Miss Swan, but I seem to be drawn to you for some reason. I thought that spending time together would help me solve the mystery.”
There, that sounded intellectual rather than emotional.
“Oh so I’m some kind of experiment to you?”
Oh no, she sounds a little angry. Damn it.
“No, no, you misunderstand me.” I tried to soothe.
“Enlighten me then Edward.”
Ouch, she is angry. Time for the ‘moment of truth’.
I leaned toward her, breathing in her intoxicating scent. “Ever since I saw you yesterday, you’ve been on my mind constantly. That’s never happened to me before.”
I watched as her eyes widened. Not knowing if that was a good sign or not, I continued. “I’m at a loss. I just want to get to know you. Please?”
I held my breath as she considered this.
“Okay. But can I ask one thing?”
Anything Beautiful Bella.
“Of course.” I said out loud.
“All I ask Edward is that you be truthful with me.”
Truth? This seems an odd request. I could be truthful.
“I promise Bella.” I answered. I was so happy that she seemed to be giving me a chance, that I started to tell her everything. I told her about my childhood. I told her about moving from Chicago to Seattle during the summer of 1995.
We discovered that she moved out of Washington the same summer that I moved to Washington.
I told her about originally wanting to become a doctor.
I haven’t told anyone about that in years.
I then went on to tell her how the acting gig landed in my lap. I told her about my lonely first year in L.A., and how Alice and my parents tried to make things better.
I told her everything except the real reason that I was desperate to leave Seattle. The real reason that I’ve spent very little time here in the past almost seven years.
I didn’t lie, I just omitted a few sections of my biography.
When I felt we were getting dangerously close to those part of my past I was unwilling to share right now, I changed the subject to her life.
Bella proceeded to tell me about her childhood, and about her parents‘ breakup. I found myself feeling such compassion for this poor girl, having to leave not only her father, but the brother she was so close to.
I would have been lost without Alice while growing up.
She referred to her mother as a ‘free spirit’, but I got the impression that she was a terribly dysfunctional parent.
Her father came across as the stable one, making sure that she and Emmett spent their summers and holidays together.
I wonder if I’ll get to meet her father?
She seemed a bit uncomfortable when I asked about the circumstances of her move back to Washington. When she told me about her mother dying, I felt like a jerk.
Jasper had mentioned that before, why the hell couldn’t I have remembered?
“Oh, I’m…..so sorry Bella.” What else was there to say? I’m a self-absorbed jackass that isn’t worthy of your precious time?
I placed my hand on hers in a comforting gesture. There was a slight shock, sort of like an electric current when I touched her. It was surprising, but I’d have to admit that it felt nice.
I felt terrible for stumbling blindly into the subject of her mother’s death, so I didn’t ask any more questions. Bella, however, continued to tell more of her story.
By the end, I knew that her father, brother and Rose were the most important people in her life. I was strangely hopeful at no mention of a boyfriend. I was a little surprised to find out that she lived across the hall from her brother and Rose.
Knowing that it would afford me the opportunity to see where Bella lived, I knew that I must attend that dinner tonight.
“He and Rose are very protective huh?” I remarked, already knowing the answer.
“Yes. They love me.” She answered. “Emmett and I had a very difficult time when our parents divorced and we were forced to be separated.”
“You sound like Alice and me. We were separated because of my career, but somehow remained very close.”
“Yeah, Emmett is sometimes hard to take though. He is ‘wide open’ most of the time, you know running in fifth gear? During Christmas it’s the worst, he completely regresses into a little kid again.”
I laughed, thinking about Alice’s behavior, especially at Christmas.
I decided that I’d better disguise this first meeting to make it seem to be about business. I listed the duties Isabella would be expected to perform while working as my P.A.
Soon after, it was time for Bella to leave. She wouldn’t let me walk her down. She was probably right, the paps would see us, and make a bigger issue of it then they had already.
We exchanged cell phone numbers.
Why did the fact that I now had her number suddenly make me feel euphoric?
“I guess I’ll see you Monday then Edward.” She said while standing at the door.
That’s what she thinks. If Jasper come through, I’ll see you tonight Beautiful Bella.
“Maybe sooner than that Miss Swan.” I couldn’t help saying. Then I winked at her before she walked away.
I missed her the moment she disappeared into the elevator. How would I survive the few short hours until dinner?
I couldn’t even recognize myself any more? I was officially FUBAR.
*************************************************************************************************
Chapter 3 - Mixed Signals for The Fortunate SonAfter I shut the door to my suite, I looked around. The room had lost all its color. It suddenly felt drab and lifeless, whereas moments before it was warm and inviting.
I grabbed my suitcase and started to pack my clothing. There was no way I was staying in this hotel tonight. I suddenly felt the need for human companionship, something I’d shied away from for years, even attempting to keep my family at arm’s length much of the time.
I needed the feeling of ‘home’. My decision was made, I would go to my parent’s house a day early.
They would be thrilled.
Just then my phone rang.
Alice.
Hoping and praying that Jasper was successful at getting me invited tonight, I answered.
“Well? What did Jasper find out?” I barked into the phone.
“You know Edward, your phone manners are kind of poopie.” I had to laugh at Alice. She shied away from using curse words. She would say them in a text message far more often than uttering them out loud. However, the words she replaced them with were straight out of the mind of a five year old.
“Sorry Alice. I’m just on edge.” I told her.
“I kind of figured that. Mom and Dad are ecstatic that you’re coming to stay tonight. And no, Jasper hasn’t spoken with Rose yet. He tried but didn’t get an answer, then his mother trapped him on the phone, he’s been on there with her for one solid hour. She’s supposed to be on a cruise, not calling her son so she can gossip about all their relatives. Why Colonel Whitlock hasn’t strangled that woman in her sleep by now is beyond me.”
I was pretty sure that Alice forgot I was still on the line as she ranted.
“Alice, why did you call?” I said, hoping she would focus.
“Oh yeah. Alright, I want you to wear the Gucci suit for dinner. No arguments.”
“So you think I’ll be going tonight?” I asked, hopefully.
“Of course Edward, I can see that clearly. It’s just a matter of Jasper getting Rose to answer the phone. Truth be told, she probably shut it off while avoiding her mother‘s phone calls. Who could blame her?”
“Okay, well I’m going to finish packing my bag. You’ll call me as soon as you know for sure?” I asked.
“As soon as Jazz speaks with Rose, I’ll call you.” She promised. “We’ll come to pick you up, that way we can go straight to Mom and Dad’s after dinner.”
“Sounds good. Thanks Ali.”
“You’re welcome little brother.” Responded the pixie.
I laid out the suit, and decided to go for a run on the treadmill while waiting for Alice’s call.
I got waylaid by a couple of fans on the way to the fitness room. I was polite to them, stopping to pose for photos, then went on my way.
Upon returning to my rooms, I tried not to worry that Alice still hadn’t called. After my shower, I picked up my phone to find a waiting text message.
Edward-
Dinner’s all set. We’ll be there in about an hour. Love you.
-Ali
I sent a quick text to Sidney informing him that I wouldn’t be needing his services until the day after Christmas, and that I hoped he had a pleasant holiday.
Over an hour later, Alice, Jasper and I were sitting in my suite, listening to Christmas music.
Alice’s choice, obviously.
I got up and walked to the window, gazing out at the Seattle skyline.
My life had become so confusing in the last twenty-four hours. Every time I tried to settle my mind, I would think about Bella Swan then my mouth would go dry, and my palms would start to sweat.
I was finding it hard to remember what it was like before she had invaded my every waking thought.
You are obsessed Edward. I think a visit to Dr. Gould may be in order. Soon.
I sighed and scrubbed my face with my hands. I was suddenly aware that Jasper had come to stand beside me.
“Edward, Alice clued me in to what she thinks is going on, but I’d like to hear it from you.” He said quietly.
I looked at him as if I had no idea what he was talking about.
He rolled his eyes. “Come on Edward. You can’t lie to us. You’re the guy who doesn’t socialize willingly. Dinner parties go against the grain, so you rarely attend them.”
Jasper was right. Normally, I would loathe an evening like this.
He continued. “So, I want to hear from you why I had to beg my sister to get an invite for Hollywood’s own resident hermit.”
“I just need to be there tonight, it’s not something I can really explain.” I said quietly.
“I’m just concerned because you’re not behaving like yourself, I hope..”
“Don’t worry Jasper.” I cut him off. “My personal issues have never interfered with my work, so your job is safe.” I said curtly.
Jasper looked wounded. “Edward, that was unfair. You didn’t even give me a chance to finish. I was going to say that I hope the changes I’ve witnessed since yesterday continue. Isabella Swan seems to be having a positive influence on you.”
I felt a little bad for barking at him the way I did.
Jasper narrowed his eyes at me and continued. “But, evidently, it’s going to take a while to curb your asshole tendencies.”
Alice giggled from her spot on the sofa.
Jasper is right, I am an asshole. If I cared about Isabella, I’d leave her alone.
“I’m sorry man.” I said as I sighed. “I’m just really confused about the way I’m feeling about everything right now.”
Alice chimed in then. “Edward, I know you don’t want to hear this but I believe that the proper word for what you are feeling is ‘smitten’.”
“Alice, I love you, but it’s hard to take you seriously when you use words from Grandma Masen’s vocabulary in your every day speech.” I laughed.
“Shut up Edward. I can’t help it that I spent so many summers with her. She was a great lady with fabulous style.” She smiled, and then she stood. “Well chickens, I think it’s time to hit the road. The Swan-Whitlock dinner party awaits!”
Isabella lived in a very nice apartment building and, as she had pointed out it was only a couple of blocks walk from the television station.
I still hope that she doesn’t walk there by herself.
As we waited for someone to answer the door, I glanced across the hall.
That must be hers. Apartment 22B.
I turned back toward Alice and Jasper just as the door opened.
Rose greeted us, giving me a cool handshake, and led us into their expansive living room. I spied Isabella sitting on the sofa as a Christmas cartoon played on the video screen.
She was stunning. I thought she was beautiful before, but the blue dress that she was wearing contrasted with her skin tone perfectly. That coupled with her hair and beautiful facial features made her exquisite.
“You look lovely Isabella.” I said quietly.
She seemed pleased to see me. I hoped that I wasn’t misreading her.
Everyone turned to stare at who I assumed was Emmett. Now that I saw him, I remembered him vaguely from Alice and Jasper’s wedding. He was seemingly engrossed in the cartoon.
Isabella, noticing where our attention had been drawn, explained that her brother could not break away from the cartoon until Frosty was able to achieve a happy ending.
We all laughed out loud. I laughed even harder when I thought about the Christmas video that Alice forced me to sit through every year.
What was that movie? Oh yes some cartoon about a nutcracker. I believe that Kiefer supplied one of the voices. I’ll have to tell him about my sister’s obsession next time I see him, I’m sure he’ll be amused.
After the show, I got a chance to chat briefly with Emmett. He was a hell of a nice guy. I remembered Bella saying that he was a little crazy. Apart from the cartoon incident, he didn’t exhibit any behavior outside of the norm, so I would have to take Bella’s word for it.
I watched Bella as she chatted easily with Alice and Jasper. Every now and then she would catch my gaze and blush.
I love her blush.
When we sat down to dinner, I was thrilled to be seated next to Bella.
“So Bella, do you intend to stay in the Seattle area after graduation?” Alice asked her.
Alice was fishing.
“I’m pretty sure I’ll stay in this area. Actually, I love to write, and was thinking about going into teaching because it would give me enough free time to pursue my writing.”
“You could do that anywhere Bella. Do you love the cold weather so much that you haven’t even thought of leaving? Or is it a young man keeping you in Seattle?” Alice asked with a grin.
I froze, gripping my fork so tightly that it hurt my fingers.
Fuck. I don’t know what I’ll do if she reveals she has a boyfriend. I’m not ready for my heart to be ripped from my chest.
“No. No young man keeping me here, and I actually hate the cold. The only good thing about this time of the year is Christmas. After that, I’ll be living every day anxiously waiting for Spring to arrive. My favorite day of the year is when I see the first tulip in bloom.“
At the mention of no boyfriend, my heart faltered in its rhythm.
Could my luck actually be turning?
I also made a mental note of her love for tulips.
I had to struggle to keep the elation from bubbling to the surface. I managed to pull my mouth in such a way, that I’m sure it looked like a grimace.
“Well, during Spring break, you could always come to California and stay with me and Jazz. We would have a great time, I could show you around the area.” She said as she practically bounced in her seat. “We could go shopping!”
Alice is fucking brilliant! She is the best sister ever.
“Wow that’s so generous of you Alice, thanks.” It sounded as if Isabella was going to try to get out of the offer.
No! Alice work your magic.
“Bella, did Alice just invite you to California for spring break?” Rose asked.
“Yes” Bella did not look happy. Why would she dislike us? She barely knows us.
Exactly Edward. Maybe she’s figured out that you’re a stalker.
Rose seemed to settle the matter, and Alice went on to discuss clothing.
I tuned out of the conversation, happy just to gaze at Beautiful Bella.
All of a sudden Bella got a frightened look on her face.
What was Alice telling her? What did I miss?
“Oh posh Bella, you obviously don’t see yourself clearly. You are a very stunning young woman. Believe me, I know these things, it’s what I do.”
That seemed harmless, and completely truthful.
“You have no idea Alice. Bella actually thinks she’s plain. Can you imagine?” Rose answered.
Appalling. So Isabella suffers from low self-esteem. I’m surprised I didn’t notice this, seeing as how I’ve watched her obsessively every moment that we’ve been together.
Bella excused herself, to use the bathroom I supposed.
Rose turned to Alice. “A trip to California is exactly what that girl needs Alice. She’s entirely too reclusive.” Rose said.
“Babe, Bella isn’t comfortable around a lot of people that she doesn’t know.” Emmett defended.
So she’s reclusive like me. Add that to Rosalie referring to her as ‘fragile’ yesterday, and this just gets more and more troubling. I hope there’s not something tragic in her past that has caused this.
I was suddenly filled with hatred for anyone or anything that may have caused harm to Isabella.
“Well she knows us now Emmett. There’s nothing for her to be nervous about. We’ll look after her.” Alice grinned triumphantly.
“Darlin’ just don’t push Bella too much. A vacation is supposed to be relaxing.” Jasper added.
Just then, Isabella reappeared and took her seat at the table.
Jasper, ever the gentleman, complimented her cooking and Bella beamed.
After dessert, we retired to the living room. Now was my chance to have a real conversation with Bella.
I forgot that anyone else was in the room as I gazed at the enchanting creature beside me. I found myself needing to tell her just how lovely she was.
“I find it curious Bella that you can easily accept compliments about your cooking, but not about your appearance.” I told her. “Alice is right though, you don‘t see yourself very clearly. You have natural beauty, a rare thing these days.”
And the blush returns. You are so lovely, you take my breath away.
“Don’t get me wrong“ I added, “I find your attitude quite refreshing. You would understand if you had to deal with the vast number of conceited, arrogant and plastic people that I have to on a daily basis.”
Dear God, I despise them.
“Most of them don’t have any reason to be conceited. Their looks are rarely natural, and their personalities are sufficient enough to destroy the illusion of any outward beauty.”
And they all think I’m a prick, so I guess we’re even.
“Wow, is it that bad?” she questioned.
“Worse. In my REAL life, not the one you see in magazines that is, I try to surround myself with those people that can work in the system, but haven’t been corrupted by it.”
Alice, Jasper, Jane, Alec, Christopher, and to some extent Felix.
“But enough of Hollywood, I don’t want to think about it during Christmas.”
I want to talk about you, beautiful.
She informed me that she, Emmett and Rose would be leaving tomorrow to spend Christmas with her father, and return on Saturday.
This was good to know.
She then asked about my Christmas, and I admitted that I hadn’t been home for Christmas in two years.
Last year I’d spent most of December on a press tour for ‘September Ends’, and spent Christmas Day in Chicago with my grandfather and some aunts, uncles and various cousins.
She questioned why I was here tonight instead of spending the evening with my parents.
“Well, they had to attend a charity event tonight.”
“Oh.”
“And, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see you again before Monday.” I answered truthfully.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at her look of surprise.
I admitted that I would be staying at my parents’ home for the next couple of nights, and then attempted to explain that I only stayed in a hotel to protect them from the intrusions of the paparazzi. I didn’t reveal that this was only part of the reason.
There’s no point telling her that I have been closed off emotionally to everyone for almost seven years. I’ve done everything I can to push my family away, thank God I wasn’t successful.
The next words out of Isabella’s mouth almost caused me to despair of ever having a chance to be close to her.
“Edward”
“Hmm?” I asked, wondering where her curious mind would lead her next.
“Why aren’t you spending Christmas with your girlfriend?”
Damn it. Tanya. I had forgotten she even existed.
These were the words that my subconscious had dreaded. This was the reason that I’d had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach all day.
I noticed that the room grew quiet, and everyone’s gaze was trained on me. There was no way to answer that question fully, at least not to the extent that would satisfy someone like Rosalie. The ugly truth was something I couldn’t share today, if ever. My hands were tied, there were other people that would be harmed if I were reckless and spoke out of turn.
For the moment, I could only give a partial explanation. I knew that it would sound cryptic, but it couldn’t be helped.
Why have I made my life so complicated?
It was suddenly difficult to speak. “Suffice it to say Bella that things aren’t always what they seem. Hollywood survives by creating illusion.”
In other words, they lie, lie, and lie some more just to make a buck.
Alice looked at me sympathetically and mentioned the late hour. That was our cue to leave.
There were goodbyes and Christmas wishes, but I zoned out. As we made our way downstairs, and to the car, I couldn’t help the feelings of dread and despair that were beginning to cloud my mind.
I felt a small warm hand touch my arm. “Edward, it’s going to work out.” Alice said in a small voice as I looked up and into her eyes. “Please believe me Edward. Bella is going to give you a chance. Have faith.”
She seemed so sure of her words. Could I believe them?
I now regretted making the decision to go to my parents’. I wanted nothing more than to escape to my hotel suite and wallow in self pity. And probably drink.
It felt as if the first thing I’d wanted in seven years. The first thing I’d really ever wanted was slipping away from me. I didn’t know how to stop it. I couldn’t reveal everything to Isabella. Not yet.
I leaned my head back against the seat of the car and sighed. “I am so fucked.” I muttered aloud to no one in particular.
It was quiet for a while until Jasper finally spoke. “Look Edward, I don’t want to be the one to tell you what to do.” He spoke seriously. “But it seems like someone has to.”
I closed my eyes and waited for him to speak.
“Look at it this way. You’ve got three days next week to get to know Bella. Spend those three days finding out if she’s someone you’d maybe want to have a serious relationship with. If she is, then tell her as much about your situation as you can, as much as you are able to confide at this point.”
I thought about what Jasper had said. It made perfect sense. If these feelings I had for Isabella turned out to be some weird temporary fixation I should figure that out after spending three days with her.
If they were something more, something deeper, as I suspected, I’d have to tell her everything. Granted I’d need to go back to California and clean up my mess first, but after that, I would keep nothing from Isabella.
It was strange how that thought comforted me.
“Thanks Jasper. I think that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” I was compelled to see where all this would lead me.
I had a feeling I was in for a wild ride.
“We both wish you’d never agreed to all that crazy shit Edward. Alice always told you it would come back to haunt you.” Jasper added.
I couldn’t argue with him about anything he’d said tonight. I was responsible for my own mess, I needed to fix it.
Mom and Dad hadn’t made it home by the time we arrived. I was glad, not being up to the line of questioning my mother was sure to throw at me.
Alice is certain to have said something to Mom and Dad about Bella.
My sister has always been very discreet when dealing with the general public, but there were no secrets between her and Mother. They’ve always been more like best friends than Mother and daughter.
I thought about how I’d left things with Bella this evening. Having been so distraught about her ‘girlfriend’ question, I’d barely even said goodbye.
What must she think of me?
Knowing what I needed to do, I reached for my phone.
“How may I help you this evening Mr. Masen?” The concierge breathed.
“Yes, hello, I needed to get in touch with the hotel’s florist.”
“I can help you with that Mr. Masen.” She answered coldly.
Jealously really doesn’t become you Julia.
I sighed. “Be that as it may, I wish to speak with the florist anyway.”
“Yes sir, I’ll have him call your room as soon as possible.”
“No, please have him call my cell. I won’t be returning to the room for a couple of days.”
“Oh, I see. I’ll take care of that immediately sir.” She said icily this time.
What the hell does it matter to you if I’m not sleeping in your precious hotel for a couple of nights.? I’m paying for the room regardless.
Then it dawned on me, Julia assumed that I was spending my evenings in the company of another woman. She’d probably even deduced that the flowers were for the same woman.
Good. Maybe now she’ll keep a more professional distance.
The florist was in touch within minutes, and after being reassured that the flowers would remain fresh for many days, I placed my order.
There was something else I needed to do. “Are you at floral shop right now?” I asked.
“No Mr. Masen, I’m at home.”
“How early will you be at the shop in the morning?”
“We don’t open until 8am, but I’ll be in there at six, don’t worry I’ll make sure your order is delivered by eight-thirty, even if I have to take it myself.“
“That would be fine, but I’m coming in at seven-thirty. I’d like to see the flowers before they’re delivered, and I’d like to personalize the card myself.“
“Well, um, yes, of course sir, that would be fine. I’ll see you then.”
“Thank you, goodbye” I was so used to getting exactly what I wanted in L.A., that I’d forgotten my abrupt manner could be startling to those not used to dealing with me.
Feeling satisfied with my gesture toward Bella, I felt my nerves start to calm.
I took a shower and readied myself for bed.
After setting the alarm for the un-godly hour of six-thirty, I decided to send a quick text to Bella before going to sleep.
Bella-
Spending the evening with you brightened my holiday considerably.
-Edward
Hopefully she wouldn’t think I was a complete jerk.
--V&V--
After dressing the next morning, I was anxious to get to the florist shop. I knew exactly what I wanted to write on the card.
I grabbed the keys to the Vanquish, but as I headed down the stairs, I was met at the bottom by my sister. She was dressed, and bundled up for the December temperatures, and she was holding two cups of coffee in travel mugs.
God Bless Alice.
“Care to tell me where we’re going?” She asked.
“We?” I said, amused.
“I saw that if I let you go alone, you may just decide to stay at the hotel.” She answered narrowing her eyes at me.
She knows me well. Too well.
“Just an errand.” I smiled.
The tulips were beautiful, and I had no doubt that Isabella would be happy with them. My card was just impersonal enough to hide the fact that I’d become her own personal stalker.
Maybe.
Feeling Alice’s gaze on me as we drove back to Mercer Island, I finally spoke. “Alright Alice, what’s on your mind?”
“I was just thinking.” She said, smiling.
“About?”
“About how much I like this new Edward. He’s a lot more like the Edward I remember. I hope he stays around for good.”
“Me too Alice.” I agreed quietly.
--V&V--
Upon our arrival back to Mom and Dad’s, everyone was waiting for us in the breakfast room.
Mom eyed me curiously as she sipped her morning coffee. “So Edward, what’s she like?” I could feel the excitement coming off of her in waves. “I can’t imagine that she’d be anything like her brother. He tends to suck all the air out of the room when he enters. Don‘t get me wrong, I really like Emmett.”
I shook my head, looking at Alice. “You’re unbelievable.”
Alice just shrugged and grinned at me. “Too bad that we’ve been waiting years for this to happen Edward. Deal with it.”
I turned back to Mom. “She’s quiet.” I thought about Bella. “She’s beautiful, and very intelligent. There’s just something about her that draws me in. I can’t understand it, but I’m trying to figure it out.” I said wistfully, more to myself than anyone else.
Alice and my mother wore matching awed expressions. “Oh come on, would you two cut it out.” I barked.
They burst into laughter, soon joined by Jasper and Dad.
My father successfully changed the subject to last night’s charity event, and how draining it had been to spend the entire evening rubbing elbows with the uber-wealthy.
“So how much were you able to squeeze out of the pompous fat cats of Seattle high society?” I asked smiling.
“We raised quite a bit. The dinner alone garnered a million, and the silent auction earned a couple hundred thousand more.” Dad answered.
The three charities chosen by the Cullen Foundation to be awarded the proceeds of this year’s events were a local homeless shelter, an organization that provided games and toys to hospitalized children, and a neighborhood association that ran a soup kitchen, providing two meals a day, six days a week for Seattle’s needy.
“We’re going to deliver part of the money to the soup kitchen today. They are in desperate need of it.” My mother remarked.
This was the usual way that my family spent Christmas Eve. For us, it was never a day to sit around and relax, or to do that last minute shopping. It was a day that we spent doing for others.
Today I wouldn’t be Edward Masen, movie star. Today I would be Edward Cullen, soup kitchen worker. I would be trading in my expensive suit for comfortable jeans, a sweatshirt and my favorite baseball cap. Alice wouldn’t complain about my choice of clothing today, she would be dressed much the same.
My parents were both born into wealth. I believe one would have to do extensive research to find a time when the Cullens and the Masens didn’t have money.
Because of this, my parents believed it our duty to give to those not as fortunate. We were expected to donate, not only monetarily, but of our time as well, so that we would never forget how blessed we truly were.
Not surprisingly, my mother’s favorite saying was “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
We were packing Mom’s work van with boxes of things to drop at the homeless shelter. Mom sent me inside to get one more box which she’d stowed in my closet.
Just as I reached my room, my phone buzzed. I felt my stomach drop when I saw there was a text from Bella.
Edward-
I just wanted to thank you for the flowers, they were beyond beautiful.
-Bella
She liked the flowers. I knew I was grinning like a madman as I texted back.
Isabella-
I’m so glad you got them before you left. The florist assured me that they would stay fresh for several days. They can never compare to your loveliness, but I tried. How is your trip?
-E
By my calculations, she was probably only about an hour into her long drive to Forks.
E-
Let’s just say that Emmett is more in touch with his inner child than usual. I’ll be glad when we arrive.
-B
I chuckled, remembering how she said that Emmett was very childish. Alice hadn’t started driving me crazy yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time.
B-
I understand. I love Alice dearly, but she too has never lost her childlike wonder….especially at Christmas.
-E
She’s so easy to talk to, even in a text message.
E-
That’s a lovely way to phrase it. In Emmett’s case, it’s more like he morphs into a ‘pain in the ass’ five year old.
-B
I laughed out loud at that. Just then, my call-waiting signaled an incoming call.
Why the hell is Alice calling me from the van?
B-
HaHa. Speak of the devil. Alice is calling. I have to go. Have a wonderful Christmas Bella. I’ll see you soon.
-E
I waited for her response.
E-
You too. My best wishes to your family. See you after Christmas.
-B
I answered Alice’s call. “What?” Slightly annoyed that she’d interrupted my conversation with Bella.
“Look you turdy bird, don’t use that snotty tone with me. We’re out here waiting to leave.”
I laughed. “Sorry Alice. I got a text from Bella.”
Why exactly did I just confess that?
“Thanking you for the flowers?” She asked.
“Now how did you know that?” I wondered.
“Because Bella has manners. It shows that you received a proper upbringing when you thank someone for a gift.“ She responded.
This thought didn’t please me. Was that the only reason she wanted to talk to me? Just to thank me?
If that’s all there was to it, I’ll take it. It was a start.
--V&V--
“Tell me we’re not having ham tomorrow mother.” I stated as we prepared another tray of dinner platters.
“No dear, we’re having turkey.” She said as she smiled.
I looked at the line of people waiting to be served. “There seem to be more this year than ever before.” I said.
“Well, honey, it’s been a hard year. A lot of people have lost their jobs. Some of these here today had a mortgage and two cars in their driveway this time last year. Now they don’t know where their next meal is coming from.” She replied with a quivering lip. “We do what we can.”
I was involved with several charities. Granted, most of them wanted big name celebrities to be involved because they drew other big name celebrities and their money. Wanting to do more, I’d visited Aids patients in Africa and India, helped build houses in Louisiana, and done my part to bring attention to the plight of landmine survivors in Eastern Europe.
But seeing this much need in my own hometown was intensely personal. I noticed my father across the hall and signaled to him. He walked over, a stack of empty trays in his hands. “When we get back to the house, I’m writing a check.” I told him in a quiet voice.
--V&V--
The work at the soup kitchen had been exhausting, but rewarding. A few people thought they recognized me, but I just played it off.
Hours later, back at my parent’s house, I was showered and wearing the pajamas Alice had chosen for me. Flannel sleep pants and a solid green thermal shirt. She did this every Christmas Eve that we were together, so I acquiesced without too much argument.
“Alice, these pants are covered with photos of the Grinch, are you trying to tell me something?” I asked her playfully.
“Well, it does seem to fit your personality most of the time.” She laughed.
I felt lucky compared to Jasper, she make that poor guy wear Winnie the Pooh Christmas pajamas, while she wore a matching set of Piglet duds.
How did she find Pooh bear in Jasper’s size?
I must have looked amused because Jasper glared at me and mouthed ‘Don’t say one fucking thing‘.
Which, of course made me laugh harder.
We were gathered in the family room per Alice’s orders, to watch Christmas DVDs. The only ones missing were Mom and Dad. At that moment they walked in wearing matching Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer and Clarice pjs.
Yeah, Dad looks like a dork.
He glared at Alice and said. “At what point did you actually think that this” He gestured to his shirt and pants, “ was a good idea Alice?”
“Whatever Dad. I think you look very festive.” She said as Jasper and I laughed our asses off. “Besides, it’s Christmas. You have to indulge me one day out of the year.”
He sighed and took a seat next to my mother on the sofa. “What are we watching first dear?” Mom asked Alice.
“The Nutcracker Prince of course.” Alice answered.
Of course.
After the movie, we opened our Christmas gifts.
Because we were all ridiculously wealthy, we’d decided years ago that we would put a fifty dollar limit on any gifts we purchased for each other. It actually made the gift-giving season a lot of fun.
Jasper and I always gave each other ‘gag’ gifts. This year, he gave me a bobble-head doll of myself. I gave him a big mouth singing bass wall plaque that I found on eBay.
Alice’s face was priceless. She looked at the fish as if I’d just given Jasper a box full of elephant dung. “Jasper Whitlock, no where in our house will you ever find a place to display that. Do you understand me?”
Jasper looked disappointed.
I thought the fish was a joke, but maybe Jasper likes it a little too much.
Alice received the newest ‘Holiday Barbie’ to add to her collection. For Mom and Dad, I’d gotten them both books by their favorite authors. Hopefully to enjoy during their hard-earned, but rare, moments of leisure.
After our gift exchange, we drank hot cocoa, and everyone headed up to bed.
It was after one a.m. before I finally started to drift off to sleep. I thought about Isabella, silently wondering how she’d spent her Christmas Eve, and also wondering if I’d crossed her mind at all.
Why was it that I missed someone that I’d only met two days ago?
************************************************************************************************
“How many guests will there be this year Mother?” I asked my Mom as I drank my coffee.
Mom was out of breath, no doubt because she’d been running from room to room preparing for this afternoon’s dinner guests. “Well there’s Dorothy, the Weiss family, and the Maxwells. That makes eight plus the five of us, so a total of thirteen for dinner.”
“I’ll be happy to see Dorothy again.” I smiled thinking about Dorothy Ward. My mother had met her while doing some design work on her home years ago. Dorothy was like a breath of fresh air. There was not a pretentious bone in her body, and she always spoke her mind. “She must be over seventy by now Mom. How’s her health?” I asked.
Mom stopped her busy-work to answer. “She had a mild stroke last year, but seems to have recovered beautifully. She’s forced to use a cane now, so she doesn’t risk the chance of falling, but you know Dorothy, she’s very theatrical about it.” Mom laughed. “You’ll see what I mean, be careful that she doesn’t poke you with it.”
Mom met Dorothy the year after my grandmother died. Mom was grieving, and Dorothy became sort of a surrogate mother. She was like my grandmother in many ways, in that they shared a similar view of the world, and were fiercely devoted to their families. The differences between them though were pretty profound, stemming from the fact that Dorothy had a love of cigars and alcohol, and she cursed like a sailor.
I laughed thinking about her.
I knew who I’d be spending my time with today.
Then I thought about the other guests. Byron and Lydia Weiss were nice. They had a son who must be in college by now. The other family, the Maxwell’s stood out in my memory for all the wrong reasons. Simon and Trudy were nice enough as was their younger daughter, but the oldest daughter, Simone, was a total bitch. There was no other way to put it.
I decided to leave my Mother to her madness, and went in search of my father. I found him in his study. It was really a home office, but he hated that term. “Hello there son. Did you get any breakfast?” He asked with a smile.
“Yeah Dad, I ate a while ago. How long have you been hiding up here anyway?” I smiled thinking about how my Dad always made himself scarce when we were expecting guests.
He grinned. “So you found me out? I’ve been here for over an hour. I learned years ago Edward that when your Mom is preparing for company, I need to stay out of the way.”
It was true. If Dad showed his face, Mom would become frustrated because he wasn’t helping. When, in truth, there was nothing to do. The house was immaculate, and the dinner was being catered.
A few minutes later, Jasper appeared. “Is this a private club, or can anyone join?” He asked as he stuck his head in the door.
Dad laughed. “Come on in son. Trying to escape the women?”
Jasper looked a little shook up. “Alice is helping Esme. I was just sitting on the sofa, minding my own business, thought I might watch a little television, when Alice started yelling at me.”
“I still don’t know what I did wrong. She grabbed the remote, shut off the TV, and told me I was making a mess.” Jasper looked bewildered.
Dad and I laughed at him. “Jasper my boy, you’re lucky that I’m here to impart these words of wisdom to you during your first year of marriage.” Dad said sincerely. “Unlike me, you won’t have to waste years figuring this out for yourself. When they get like this, the best thing you can do is hide.”
Jasper eyed him suspiciously. “That’s it?”
Dad nodded. “That’s the easiest solution. I spent years trying to be helpful. Only to get shot down every time. Believe me, Esme likes me better when I stay out of the way.”
We all laughed.
It was quite enjoyable hanging out with Jasper and Dad. We decided to watch football to pass the time.
I bet Bella’s family is watching football right now.
My mind drifted off until I was thinking about the brown-eyed beauty that I wouldn’t see until Monday.
Monday. Can I survive until Monday?
Just then, the door to Dad’s study flew open.
“Well if it isn’t the three stooges.” My sister was only half-joking. “I’ll have you know that you successfully avoided all the work.” She said with her arms crossed over her chest.
Jasper looked scared. Dad and I just laughed. Alice rolled her eyes. “Anyway, Mom wanted me to tell you all that the guests will start to arrive in less than an hour. You need to get ready!”
At her words, we dispersed to our rooms and dressed in the clothing she’d chosen for us. Thankfully, there were no cartoon characters to be seen. Although the ties she’d picked were quite colorful.
Wanting to keep busy until I had to force myself to be cordial, I went to the music room and sat down at the piano. Knowing that it would make my mother and sister happy, I reached back into my memory and started to play ‘Cantique de Noel’.
Maybe next Christmas I’ll be able to play for Bella.
“Edward, that was lovely.” My mother said quietly when the song ended. “I missed that last Christmas, your playing.” She continued.
“I know Mom, sorry.” I said sheepishly.
“There’s someone here who wants to say hello, she arrived a little early.” Mom whispered.
I walked into the living room and found Dorothy sitting there, happily chatting with Alice and Jasper. She turned and spotted me standing in the doorway. “Edward, if you want me to kiss you, just say so, there’s no need to loiter under the mistletoe.” Dorothy said with a smile.
I looked up, and sure enough, dangling above my head was a sprig of mistletoe. I went over to Dorothy and gave her a hug. She kissed me on one cheek and patted the other. “Oh for heaven’s sake, now I’ve left a big red smudge on your cheek.” She laughed as she wiped at it. “I apologize, but I do have a weakness for whorehouse-red lip paint.”
The entire family burst into laughter as Dorothy continued. “Sorry I’m here a little early, I wanted to arrive before the stiffs did.”
Another round of laughter. Dorothy tolerated Trudy and Simone Maxwell only for the sake of my mother.
Before long, all the guests had arrived. I decided to forgo the cocktails for an iced tea. I noticed that Dorothy was drinking the same.
By three o’clock we were seated at the dining room table eating a delicious turkey dinner. Dorothy kept me occupied in conversation about my next movie and life in L.A.
After a while, the conversation turned to her health when I inquired about her stroke.
“This has been one big pain in my ass. I have now become one of those old ladies that has a ’pill container’ laid out on the dresser with a compartment for each day of the week.” She shook her head in disgust.
“I had to give up my cigars and my liquor. I’m not sure life is worth living any more.” She said with a smirk, before she laughed. “Just kidding about the ’ending it’ shit. Truth is that I’m on so much medication, that alcohol is a big no-no. And the cigars, what can I say? They probably helped bring on the stroke, so they’re gone.”
Simone tried several times to engage me in conversation. Unfortunately for her, I was an expert at avoiding the advances of grasping women. Years of experience were on my side.
I couldn’t stay focused on anything though. Instead, I found myself thinking about what Isabella might be doing.
She likes to cook, I bet she’s cooking a Christmas feast for her family.
Dorothy kept having to call my attention back to our conversation.
While speaking with her, she told me in a whisper that she was going to fake exhaustion soon after dessert, so that I could offer to drive her home. That way I could escape without upsetting my parents, and she could get away from the Maxwells.
It all played out beautifully. However, just as I went to grab the keys to the Vanquish, Alice stopped me. “You should drive Dad’s Mercedes. The Vanquish sits a little low, it’s difficult for Dorothy to get into. Also, the Mercedes is less conspicuous.”
Why would that matter?
“I’ll let Dad know you’re taking it. Also, Edward, you’re going to want to change into comfortable clothes.” For once I didn’t argue with Alice. I couldn’t believe she was actually suggesting I wear my jeans and hoodie.
I hope she’s not coming down with something.
After I changed clothes, I headed toward the garage. Once again Alice was waiting. “Here.” She said as she handed me a folded piece of paper. “Read this after you drop Dorothy off.” She looked into my eyes, a serious expression on her face. “It’s important. Don’t come home before you’ve read it.”
Alice is acting very strangely. Even more so than usual.
Once in the car, Dorothy started to grill me. “So what’s going on Edward?” She asked. “You haven’t been yourself all afternoon. Even if you didn’t enjoy my company, being as good an actor as you are, you could have at least faked it.“ She grinned.
“I’m so sorry Dorothy. I admit it, I’ve been very distracted, I’m having a hard time focusing.“ I told her.
“You’ve obviously got something or someone on your mind. I’ve never seen you like this.”
I sighed in defeat. “Yeah, I met someone. I’m pretty sure that she thinks I’m a bastard though.” I said despondently.
Dorothy laughed. “Most of the world thinks you’re a bastard Edward. Of course those of us who know the real you don’t. I guess your job is to change her opinion.”
“That’s what everyone tells me.” I sighed. “I think I’m losing my mind. We truly only met like three days ago, and I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“And you wish you could see her right now don’t you?” She asked.
“Nothing would make me happier.” I admitted.
“Where is she?”
“About three hours away, she went to her Dad’s for Christmas.” I replied sadly.
“Edward, I’ve been around a long time and been through a lot. What you’re talking about is ‘love at first sight’. It does exist. And that’s coming from the most cynical bitch you’re probably ever going to meet.” She laughed.
“My first husband was a no good, rotten, son of a bitch. He was cruel to me in every way you can imagine. But, he gave me a beautiful daughter, and because of that, I can forgive him.”
She paused, thinking. “At one time, I actually thought I loved him. Years later, after we divorced, I met Roy. My heart knew immediately that he was the one for me. It took my brain a little while to catch up.” She laughed again. “If I had given up on love because of my first marriage, I’d have missed a hell of a lot. He could never give me more children, but it didn’t matter. He was enough.”
“So, if you know where she is, go see her.” She said matter-of-factly.
I was stunned. Go see her?
“Look it’s up to you, but if it makes you feel better, I’d do it. You don’t even have to let her know you’re there, if you’re just doing surveillance.” She grinned conspiratorially. “Just don’t be a peeping tom, and don’t get arrested.” She laughed.
We had arrived at Dorothy’s house and I exited the car to help her get out. Just then Suzanne, Dorothy’s housekeeper came out to greet us.
“Suzanne, you’re supposed to be having dinner with your kids.” Dorothy snapped.
“I already did you bossy thing. I had a feeling you’d come home early, so I came back. Besides, I’ve got lots of time to spend with my children once your sorry behind leaves tomorrow.” She answered.
I laughed. They were always like this.
Dorothy turned to me. “That reminds me. I’m sorry to say that I won’t see you any more during your visit Edward. I’m flying to Florida tomorrow, spending the winter with my daughter and her family. I’m curious to see how all this turns out with you.”
Me too Dorothy.
“That’s okay, I’ll keep in touch with your Mom.“ She patted my arm and hugged me. “I’m not kissing you this time stud. It wouldn’t do if your girlfriend were to see you, and you had another woman’s lip prints on your cheek.” She winked.
I laughed again and got back in the car. I just sat there, not knowing what to do next.
My girlfriend. My God I liked the sound of that.
My phone buzzed with an incoming text.
The paper I gave you has the Swan’s address on it. Use the GPS and be careful.
-A
Alice knew I would be thinking about driving to Forks? She knew I was going to spy on Bella?
Although, if I went it wouldn’t be to spy necessarily. I just need to see her again. Monday is too long to wait.
I programmed the address into the GPS.
If I do this would I go up to the door and knock? Or would I just watch her from a distance?
What the hell am I thinking? If I do this thing I would be a stalker, and I would be certifiably insane.
I started driving toward Forks.
My phone buzzed again.
Don’t get arrested.
-A
Why does everyone think I’m going to get arrested?
During the entire drive, I argued with myself about the completely insane thing that I was doing. When my rational, logical side would start to win, I could feel the car begin to slow as I searched for a good spot to turn around.
Every time I did this though, an image of Bella’s face would flash unbidden before my eyes, and I would immediately step on the gas and roar down the highway continuing on my path of insanity.
Once I was more than halfway to Forks, the mental interruptions became fewer, and by the time I reached ‘The City of Forks Welcomes You’ sign, my rational side gave up the fight altogether.
I was in Forks. I was in Bella’s hometown. I had officially taken leave of my senses.
Not ready to face her house just yet, I decided to drive around the town. Because it was Christmas Day, well actually Christmas night now, all the stores were closed. I saw a coffee shop, closed. I saw a shopping center which housed the Olympic Outfitters and the Thriftway, closed.
I started driving down the side streets, all the while the GPS was barking at me to turn right or left, trying to force me toward the Swan house. I ignored it.
I drove past the police station and chuckled to myself.
I guess that’s where they’ll take me when I get arrested.
I drove past Forks High School.
That’s where Bella went to school.
I drove past a motel called the ‘Pacific Inn’.
Good to know for later, in case I’m too tired to make it home.
My stalking knew no bounds.
I turned the Mercedes around and started to drive down another side street when I suddenly saw flashing lights in the rear-view mirror. A police car was behind me, and signaling that I should pull over.
Shit! I’m going to be arrested!
No way. I didn’t do anything illegal. Did I? Honestly, I’d been so engrossed in my thoughts of Bella and the town she called home that I could have been driving on the wrong side of the street for all I knew.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ….and Fuck.
“License and registration please.” The deputy said in a monotone voice.
I handed them over. “Mr. Cullen is it? I see that your name is Edward, is this Carlisle a relative?”
“Yes sir, that’s my Dad.”
Oh fuck why am I so nervous? My hands are shaking. Get a grip Edward.
“I’ll be right back.” He said as he took my license and the registration back to the squad car.
He returned a few minutes later, obviously aware of my impeccably clean driving record. The deputy studied me for a couple of minutes. “Mr. Cullen do you know why I stopped you?”
I have no fucking clue. Unless you can read my mind and know that I’m a stalker.
“No sir, I don’t.” I answered politely. My voice cracked like a thirteen year old boy’s.
“I stopped you because you seemed to be driving erratically. I’ve been following you for a couple of miles.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit….and Shit.
“Oh, I apologize. I was just looking around the town.” I whimpered out. “My girlfriend lives here?” I said it as a question.
Because she’s not my fucking girlfriend.
I am such a tool. Bella would be within her rights to file charges against me.
The deputy gave me a strange look. “Mr. Cullen, I need to ask if you’ve ingested any illegal substances today?”
I was horrified. “No, of course not.” I replied sincerely.
He eyed me closely. “Have you by any chance been drinking?”
“No, definitely not.” I replied adamantly.
“Are you sure? It is a holiday after all. Sometimes these things happen.” He was trying to get a confession out of me.
He’s probably pissed because he had to work the holiday.
“No sir, I would never get behind the wheel of a car after drinking.” I tried to be forceful with my answer, but failed miserably.
“Uhuh.” He muttered, not believing me for a minute. “How about medications? Are you taking any medications?”
What the fuck? Is this guy going to give me an anal probe while we’re at it?
I gritted my teeth. “No sir. Nothing of the kind. I was just driving around. I guess I wasn’t paying close enough attention to what I was doing.”
The deputy pursed his lips. “Okay, I’m going to let you go Mr. Cullen.” He cleared his throat. “I noticed that the address on your license says California.” He looked a little nervous now. “Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like that actor, Edward Masen?”
Oh for the love of …..he’s a fan. I can’t be honest with him, not this time, this incident can never get back to Bella.
“Yeah, I get that sometimes.” I stated coolly.
“Well, I’ll let you be on your way, have a good rest of your holiday Mr. Cullen.”
I’m kind of thinking he didn’t believe me, but I’m thankful he didn’t arrest me.
I finally swallowed down the last of my nerves and pulled out onto the street. This time I obeyed the GPS, and drove to the Swan residence.
By this time, it was after nine. I drove down the little street where Bella lived as a child, stopping in front of a small house. I think it was white, but it was difficult to tell in the darkness.
I parked across the street, and turned off the lights. Knowing that I’d never have the nerve to approach the front door, I discovered that I was satisfied just to watch.
I saw several people standing in what must be the living room. A couple of them were putting on their coats.
Then I saw her. She was even more beautiful than I remembered from two days ago. It looked like she was saying goodbye to some guests.
Suddenly, as I sat there, the front door opened. Several people filed out of the house. I felt pretty sure that no one could see me in the darkness of my parking spot, but I huddled down in the seat just to be sure.
A middle-aged couple were being walked to their truck by a man who looked to be in his forties with brown hair.
That must be Bella’s father.
A big, young, good-looking guy with dark hair came out of the house then.
Who the hell is that guy?
I had a sudden fear that Bella possibly did have a boyfriend. My heart started to sink into my stomach. I was such a fool.
Emmett walked the young guy to the truck, and said goodbye. I could see that Bella was still in the house. She never came to the door or outside.
So the man and woman were obviously the guy’s parents. They’re probably family friends. Just like the ones at my parents’ house today. That makes sense.
I watched Bella as she happily chatted with an elderly gentleman. He was wearing a collar so he was either a priest or minister. He stayed for quite a while. I continued to catch glimpses of Bella through the window as she laughed now and then.
I can’t hear her laughter, but her smile is breathtaking.
A little while later the minister or priest left. This time Bella did come out on the porch to wave.
He obviously means more to her than the young guy does.
This made me feel more at ease. I continued to catch glimpses of her as she went through the rooms downstairs, straightening up. I could also see Rose and Emmett helping. I cringed thinking about what Bella’s entire family would do to me if they knew I was sitting out here.
I really need to go back to Dr. Gould’s.
A few minutes later, all the downstairs lights were turned off, and I knew Bella was preparing for bed.
I wonder which window upstairs is hers?
Since I pussied out of speaking to her in person, I decided that I couldn’t leave without talking to her somehow. I wrote her a text.
B-
Here’s hoping all of your Christmas wishes came true. Sweet dreams, beautiful Bella.
-E
O shit. I hope she doesn’t think it’s creepy that I know she’s getting ready for bed right now.
When my phone buzzed with an incoming text a moment later, I was shocked.
E-
Thank you Edward. I hope that you got everything you wanted for Christmas as well.
I’m looking forward to seeing you again, I enjoy your company very much.
-B
The warmth of feeling that washed over me was incredible. Little did she know that what I really wanted was her.
B-
When I see you again, I hope to show how much I value your company.
As for getting what I wanted, there are officially ‘twelve’ days of Christmas, and I hope to get what I really want before that time is up.
I miss your beautiful smile.
-E
I started the car and drove away into the darkness.
Realizing that I was too tired to make the more than three hour trek back to Mom and Dad’s, I decided to stay at the motel I’d seen when I’d arrived in Forks.
I heard my phone buzz with a text.
See? The Vanquish would have drawn too much attention. There’s a packed bag behind your seat. I’ll explain to Mom and Dad. Get some rest. Love you.
-A
As Alice promised, I found a bag behind my seat containing toiletries and a change of clothing. I really must do something special for my sister after all of this.
Because of the late hour, the hotel manager was half asleep when I rang the bell to check-in. Thankfully this worked to my benefit when she didn’t recognize me.
I couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction I felt knowing that all of my out of character behavior today had been worth it.
As I felt sleep overtake me, I thought about what a complete disaster this day could have been.
Bella can never find out what a freak I’ve been today. Well, maybe I’ll tell her years from now…..
My mind was filled with images of Bella from tonight, her radiant beauty, her shy smile. I was grateful to know that less than two miles away she slept in the quiet comfort and safety of her childhood home.
***************************************************************************
Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn…..and Damn it.
I was sitting in a booth in the Forks coffee shop, cursing every stupid decision that led me to this town. Alice was getting a piece of my mind later today.
If I’m not in jail. Or shot.
Sure, when I went to bed everything seemed wonderful. I’d gotten to spy on, er I mean admire Isabella from a distance. I should have known that last night was too good to be true.
I got up early and checked out of the motel. I had on my beanie, hoodie and dark glasses, so I was pretty sure that the manager remained oblivious to my identity.
In serious need of coffee, I pulled into the coffee shop a block away from the motel with the intention of grabbing a quick breakfast, and hitting the road.
The waitress was an elderly woman who hesitated when first looking at me, probably wondering where she’d seen me before as she took my order. Before she had a chance to figure it out though, the door chimed with the arrival of more customers and her attention was drawn away.
A couple minutes later, I heard a distinctive voice coming from a booth near the front windows.
Emmett Swan.
Luckily, I was seated behind a divider and a pillar on which rested an enormous elk head. These, thankfully, obscured me from the view of the Swan family.
At least for now.
I peered over at them and got a better look at the man I’d seen last night. Bella’s father. He was obviously going to work after breakfast because he was in his uniform. His police uniform. Bella’s father was a cop.
I am a fucking dead man.
What kind of deal could I make with God to get me out of this clusterfuck? If that deputy from last night mentions me to Bella’s father, and her Dad finds out that she knows me, I’m sure he’ll put two and two together and realize that I was stalking his daughter.
I wouldn’t blame him for shooting me.
He’d probably let Emmett beat the living shit out of me first, and then shoot me.
I was trapped. I didn’t dare leave the diner, because I’d have to go past them to reach the door. I couldn’t go to the rest room, on the off chance that one of them would see me. So I just sat. Waiting. Drinking coffee.
Every now and then I would peer over the divider. I almost forgot about my shitty situation as I gazed at Isabella. She was dressed casually, no makeup, and still took my breath away.
I noticed several local residents asking Emmett to pose in photos with them. This gave me a measure of satisfaction, because his celebrity helped keep all eyes on him, helping me to remain incognito.
As much as I loved to be near Isabella though, I’d never been happier than when I heard the Swans getting ready to leave. Too much coffee had made a visit to the rest room my top priority, and I’d almost decided to make a dash for it whether or not that exposed me to her grizzly bear of a brother, and gun-toting father.
After they finally left, and my bladder issue was resolved, I threw a hundred dollar bill on the counter and made a bee-line for the Mercedes. After that, Forks didn’t see me for dust.
--V&V--
Once I passed the Forks City limits, I slowed down and took my time. There was no way I wanted to catch up with Emmett’s hummer out on the road.
I decided to pass the time by listening to music. I made a mental note to update some of the music on my ipod later.
Maybe I can come up with a ‘Bella’ playlist.
After stopping outside of Port Angeles for gas, I decided I‘d put enough distance between myself and the hummer, and drove the speed limit back to Seattle.
When I finally pulled into my parents’ garage, I breathed a huge sigh of relief that I’d made it back without incident. A few near misses, but no damage done.
I just need to make sure that I don’t meet Bella’s Dad face to face for a long time.
When I went inside, Alice met me near the door. She had her arms crossed over her chest, as she glared at me.
“I’ll have you know Edward Cullen, that I gave up shopping today, not just shopping, but the day after Christmas bargains, just to find out about your trip.” She kept staring at me until I finally broke down and smiled.
As I thought about seeing Bella last night and today, I couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. As soon as I did, Alice smiled knowingly and she grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the kitchen.
We sat at the barstools, eating leftovers and drinking Dad’s eggnog, as I relayed the entire trip to her. Jasper joined us just about the time I was telling about the deputy pulling me over.
By the time I got to part about the coffee shop this morning and having to hide behind the stuffed elk head, they were both doubled over in laughter.
“I don’t know whether to say your luck is exceptionally good, or terribly bad Edward.” Jasper laughed. “And I hate to tell you, but the one you needed to worry about was Rose. She attacks first and asks questions later. You’re a damn lucky soul that she didn’t see you.”
We all laughed again. “Anything exciting happen here after I left?” I asked.
“Oh my gosh!” Alice said as her hands flew up. “Wait until I tell you.”
Then Alice launched into the story of the events of yesterday evening. “After you left, I let everyone believe that you’d be right back after dropping Dorothy. Even though I knew there was more than a fifty percent chance that you’d be taking a drive to Forks.” She said as she winked at me.
I smiled and shook my head. “Some of us went into the music room, and the Weiss’s son Colin treated us to a few Christmas carols on the piano. He was pretty good, but no one compares to you brother dear.” She said as she patted my hand.
“I’d say, after about thirty minutes, I noticed that Simone had disappeared. I don’t like her, and I don’t trust her, so I decided to find her. I figured I’d catch her snooping through our personal belongings, but I was wrong.”
I was intrigued, but puzzled. “Well, where’d you find her?”
Alice made a sour face. “I found her in your room Edward.”
“What?” I asked incredulously. “What the hell was she…”
“Oh just let me finish, because I know exactly why she was in there.” She said with a mischievous grin. “I found her waiting for you, in your bed, wearing nothing but her underwear.”
I was horrified. What a nasty piece of work she grew up to be. She’d fit right in with some of the women I’d met in Hollywood. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time that a woman showed up, uninvited, in my bed.
I never thought I’d have to put up with this is my own parents’ house though.
“That settles it, I can’t sleep in that bed. I’m going back to the hotel.” I said acidly, still not believing the nerve of that witch.
Alice laughed. “Don’t worry Edward, I washed all the bedding today, knowing you‘re as big a germaphobe as I am.”
“What did she have to say for herself?” I asked, still pissed off.
“She tried to claim that you’d told her to wait for you there. The lying little hussy. I then informed her that I knew she was lying, because you didn’t plan to return, and that she needed to leave our parents’ house.”
“Things got a little ugly between her parents and Mother and Dad when they found out what happened. I doubt they’ll be over again.” Alice grinned.
“Oh that’s too bad.” I answered sarcastically.
--V&V--
When my parents arrived home that evening, there was hell to pay for not returning the night before.. Alice hadn’t told them where or why I’d gone, not knowing how much I’d want to share with them.
Mother seemed so hurt that I hadn’t come back, that I found myself once again relaying the entire story of my adventure. My parents didn’t laugh, they just stared at me in stunned silence until I finished.
I began to worry that they’d ban me from their company because of my stalker tendencies, when my mother suddenly smiled brilliantly as her eyes filled with tears. At the same moment, I saw my father drop his head and rub the back of his neck with his hand as he sighed.
Mom was the first to speak. “Oh Edward. You’re in love.”
I opened my mouth to protest. “No Edward, don’t argue with me. You show all the signs honey. You can’t fight it, and you can‘t deny it.”
My father nodded and agreed. “Son, no one does the things you have done unless they’ve got it bad. You don’t recognize it because you’ve never been in love before, but that’s what it is.”
I couldn’t even process what they were saying. My feelings were all over the place. They could be right, but the skeptic in me wasn’t ready to commit to this line of thought yet. We were still in the information gathering phase.
My mother grabbed my face between her hands. “Oh honey if I died tonight, I’d die a happy woman knowing that my son finally has a chance at happiness.”
“Good God Mom, that was dramatic. I thought I was the actor in the family.” I gave her a goofy grin.
She and Dad started laughing. “I know, I’m being silly. I’m a woman, I’m allowed to get emotional. Suffice it to say I’m very happy, and I want to meet her soon.”
“I think it’s probably a good idea for me to get to know her first okay Mom?”
“Of course dear. Maybe you can bring her to dinner on Tuesday night?” My Mother insisted, completely disregarding what I‘d just said.
“On that note, I’m going to bed. See you both in the morning.” They smiled as I left the room.
After I showered, I went to get in bed. I had a difficult time settling down every time I remembered that Simone had been doing God knows what in my bed. I decided to text Bella in an effort to calm my mind.
B-
How was your day? I still miss your smile.
-E
About a minute later I got a reply.
E-
It was kind of long, mostly boring. Emmett flew to Wisconsin for his game tomorrow. How was your day?
-B
Ah yes, the season was winding down for the Seahawks.
B-
I’ll be sure to watch that game. My day was long also. The morning was interesting, definitely not boring.
-E
Seeing you in the coffee shop, and wondering if I would escape with my life.
E-
Oh, that’s nice. I envy you the excitement.
-B
Exciting, yes. But is that always a good thing? I needed to change the subject.
B-
Sometimes excitement isn’t always welcome. What are you doing tomorrow?
-E
I’m back in stalker mode.
E-
Church, and then probably the grocery store. Very exciting. ; )
-B
I think Bella just virtually winked at me.
B-
I can assure you that it’s better than what I’ll be doing.
-E
I’ll probably spend the day thinking and worrying about you. I refrained from asking what church and what grocery store she went to, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stay away.
E-
Well, I’d better go. It was nice to talk to you again Edward. See you Monday.
-B
I wish I had the balls to phone her instead of just texting.
B-
Pleasant dreams, Beautiful Bella.
-E
--V&V--
The next day I actually stayed around Mom and Dad’s longer than I’d planned. I watched the football game with the family. The Seahawks lost miserably. After that, I stayed for dinner, before phoning Sidney to drive me back to my hotel.
Because it was Sunday afternoon, the fitness room was deserted when I went for my workout. I wasn’t accosted by any fans to or from my suite either. Normally I would crave that kind of solitude. Today, I just felt lonely.
Back in my suite, I decided to start a ‘Bella’ playlist for my ipod. The first song I added represented the first thing that I noticed about her, the first thing that drew me to her. ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ by Van Morrison would always make me think of Bella’s beautiful eyes.
Standin' in the sunlight laughin',
Hidin' behind a rainbow's wall,
Slippin' and a-slidin',
All along the waterfall,
With you, my brown eyed girl,
You my brown eyed girl
I couldn’t help but hope that someday she’d be my brown eyed girl. Just before turning in for the night, I sent a text to Isabella, letting her know what time Sidney would be picking her up in the morning.
She responded with a short note, and I was able to settle down and sleep peacefully, knowing that I’d see her in a few short hours.
--V&V--
By 9am, I was pacing a hole in the carpet of my suite. I was so anxious to see her again.
I wonder if she‘s anxious to see me?
When I heard her timid knock at the door, I rushed to open it, half expecting her to disappear. For a moment, I’d worried that my mind had possibly conjured her up and that none of this was real.
Her voice startled me out of my fog as I stared at her.
“Um, hi Edward, are you going to let me in?”
I smiled, relieved that maybe I wasn’t losing my mind after all.
We proceeded to go over my schedule for the week.
I knew that we had about an hour and a half to spend alone until the camera crew came to set up for my interview.
Such a short span of time in which to know Bella better, but I have to use whatever I’ve got.
“Well, Bella. Here we are again.” I smiled at her.
I then began to question her about her chosen career path. So many things about her intrigued me, but the fact that she wanted to become a writer, told me much about the Bella I have yet to know.
I teased her, telling her that I expected her favorite authors to be feminine ones. Of course I knew better. Isabella had a keen mind, and I could never see her filling her leisure hours with just romance stories. She would want the romance yes, but she’d also be a fan of action and mystery as well.
I wasn’t surprised that most of her favorites could be numbered among my own. I taunted her a little about the series of ‘vampire books’ that were all the rage.
Little did she know that I’d already been approached by the movie studio to see if I’d be interested in the lead role. The film adaptation of the first book was in the very early stages when I spoke with them about it. I‘d left most of the negotiations in the capable hands of Jane and Jasper, although everyone involved knew that my participation would hinge on whether or not I liked the script. I assumed that sometime in the next month, said script would be delivered to me.
Bella did surprise me when she named Tolkien as her favorite author. I loved his stories. Her reasons though, troubled me. When she spoke of leaving all pain and sorrow behind, I remembered Rose referring to her as ’fragile’, and I began to worry about what could have happened to her.
She explained that she would tell me everything soon, but that she wasn’t ready yet. I reassured her, telling her to wait until she was ready.
It was painful to learn that my suspicions had been correct. She was damaged yes, but I hoped not broken.
I could have literally killed whoever was responsible.
There was an awkward silence.
Feeling the need to change the subject, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
“Tell me about your father. What does he do?” I asked, knowing exactly what she was going to say.
“Charlie is the Chief of Police in Forks.” She stated.
“No kidding?” I asked, faking amusement.
He’s the CHIEF. I can NEVER show my stupid face in Forks again.
I continued questioning Bella with a smile on my face, inside I was dying a slow death. “Was it hard being the Chief of Police’s daughter?”
“No. Everyone pretty much left me alone.”
Did I catch a twinge of sadness in that answer? What happened to her to make her so sad when talking about her past?
Even though it was unintentional, I got the feeling that I’d stumbled into another area that Bella felt uncomfortable discussing.
I knew this was the case when she changed the subject, inquiring instead about her duties as my personal assistant.
I had a decision to make. If I wanted Bella to feel comfortable around me, comfortable enough to tell me about her past, then I needed to be honest.
I proceeded to confess that there wasn’t much in the way of ‘work’ for her to do this week, and that I just wanted, no needed to spend time with her. I even explained that I’d originally thought that spending time together would ‘put the need to rest’, but that the feelings I had for her seemed to be growing instead of diminishing.
I watched her closely to gauge her reaction to my words.
And then I said the words that would force a reaction from her. “I don’t know if I can stay away from you anymore.”
I braced myself for the response that would either save or break me.
“Then don’t” She answered.
I was shocked.
Could I even dare to hope that she felt even a small portion of what I did? Possibly.
After that, we were able to relax and spend the rest of our time getting to know each other. We fired questions back and forth. Some were funny, some were juvenile, others quite telling.
I made a mental note of Bella’s dream car, knowing I would want that information later.
The story about Rose at the car show had me in hysterics.
Bella would be a great writer. She’s already a wonderful storyteller.
I felt strange relaying the fact that I owned two of my dream car. I knew that her brother was wealthy now, but Bella’s family had not been well off before, and her Dad had probably struggled to provide for them.
Being wealthy wouldn’t be something she’d be comfortable with. At least not yet.
When I asked her favorite color and she answered ‘green’ while looking into my eyes, I felt my heart rate spike, and had to admit my favorite to be ’chocolate brown’.
I touched her cheek, causing her to blush.
God how I loved that blush.
“You fascinate me Bella. I didn’t know that I could be this attracted to anyone. Tell me you feel it too.” I had to know how she felt.
“Yes, I feel it.” She responded.
This is more than I could have hoped for.
We continued to talk, and when she spoke about the vacation she and her family planned for this summer, I couldn’t help but wish that I could go with them.
I’ll have a break from filming at that time. Who knows what the future will bring? There were a lot of things to be resolved between now and then though.
My disappointment was palpable when the camera crew arrived, disturbing our time together. I decided we could continue our talk over lunch. I was a little bothered that Bella had to witness the over-zealous attention of a few of my fans, but tried to be nonchalant about it.
A while later, I would have preferred a hundred fans over the one strange woman that approached our table. When I realized she was the make-up artist sent for the interview, I knew I was in for trouble.
She was pretty nasty, and things only got worse back up in the suite. I had to admire the way that Isabella handled her though. After she took her into the hall for what I assumed was a ‘dressing down’, the woman appeared a bit cowed, and behaved for the rest of the time she was there.
The first part of the interview went well. Rose was very professional, I would have never guessed that she still probably wanted to physically damage me over the whole ‘personal assistant’ issue. I made sure to thank her, trying to make amends for anything I’d done to offend her.
When I heard her mention to Isabella that she’d see her later, my heart sank. I became painfully aware that my time with Bella, at least for today, was almost at an end.
I had to find a way to see her tonight. Maybe dinner?
Knowing that she probably needed a little distance from me after spending all day together, I fully expected her to turn me down.
At first, I thought that was exactly what she was doing, but imagine my delight when she not only agreed, but offered to cook for me.
I have done nothing to deserve this beautiful girl.
I wasn’t even paying attention when she asked my food preference. I was distracted, gazing into her beautiful eyes.
Six o’clock couldn’t get her soon enough.
******************************************************************************************************
Chapter 6 - A Glimpse of the Past For The HopefulIsabella likes green, I thought as I put my green sweater over my button down shirt. Jeans and a sweater would send a message that this is a casual dinner, not work-related.
Perfect.
It had been so long since I’d been on a date, I wasn’t sure how to act.
This isn’t a date. No, not yet. But it sure feels like one.
Should I bring something? Wine? Flowers? Jewelry?
Jewelry? I’m a fucking idiot.
That is the Isabella Swan effect. Since the day I met her, almost a week ago, I’ve had a difficult time focusing on anything else. And, as evidenced by my stalking excursion to Forks, common sense has eluded me.
My phone rang just as I tried to clear the fog in my brain with thoughts of something, anything, other than Bella. It was a lost cause.
“Hi Dad.”
“Hello Son.” My father said and then cleared his throat. “Um I’m supposed to remind you about dinner tomorrow night.” He said very formally.
I laughed. “She doesn’t give up does she?” I asked him.
Dad laughed too. “No, your mother is quite tenacious.” He paused for a moment. “Anything new happening with you?” He asked hesitantly.
I knew what he wanted to hear. In many ways, Dad was just as bad as Mom when it came to worrying about me. I learned a long time ago that my parents’ happiness depended a great deal upon their children’s happiness. Over the years, I’d become an expert in deception, in order to hide from them how truly miserable I was.
Ever since they’d learned of my interest in Isabella, they’d been pinning all their hopes on some kind of relationship developing there.
I had to admit that they weren’t alone.
“I’m having dinner at Isabella’s apartment tonight.” I knew I was smiling like an idiot at the thought, and was thankful my father couldn‘t see my face.
“Is that right?” I could tell he was pleased. “So you two are seeing each other now?”
“We just want to get to know each other Dad. I can’t push Isabella into anything with me. There are issues in California that need to be resolved first.” I sighed.
“Son, don’t beat yourself up about all that. You did what you thought was right at the time. We all make errors in judgment. They are called ‘learning experiences’. The key is to not make the same mistakes again. Learn from them and move on.”
This is why I loved speaking with my Dad. He was so logical, his emotions didn’t get in the way of his clear thinking. It was the doctor in him that made him that way. He could always keep a cool head in the midst of a crisis.
“Thanks Dad.” I took a deep breath and glanced at the time. “As for tomorrow night, tell Mom that I’m not sure yet. I probably won’t know until sometime tomorrow. I’ll call her when I do.”
That was the best I could offer right now. I didn’t want to scare Isabella away.
I said goodbye to Dad, and proceeded to pace my hotel suite until it was time to leave for dinner.
Sidney parked the car, and I waited until five minutes before six to enter Bella’s building. I reached her door precisely on time.
We both found it amusing that we were dressed similarly. Well, she found it amusing, I just enjoyed watching her smile. I loved that she opted for casual instead of trying to ’impress’ me.
Her apartment was exactly as I had expected. Feminine, but not frilly. Clean, but a little cluttered with tokens of her many interests. Her love of reading was evident in the display of books and bookshelves in her living room.
In her little dining area, the tulips I sent were positioned beneath a beautiful oil painting of, what I assumed to be, her parents’ wedding day.
As we sat close together on Isabella’s sofa after eating the delicious dinner she’d prepared, I couldn’t help but be amazed that she seemed to enjoy our time together as much as I did.
Just like this morning, our conversation flowed as if we’d known each other for years instead of only a week. We talked about our extended families for a bit, before the conversation turned back to Bella‘s life before her mother‘s death.
She attempted to apologize for the melancholy shift in our talk from earlier today, but I wouldn’t hear of it.
“Bella please don’t worry about that. I want to know everything about you. I know it probably sounds crazy, and I’ve only known you a few days, but you’ve been on my mind a lot. I find myself worrying about you when we’re not together.”
Damn it, why when I’m in her presence do I revert to being an infatuated fourteen year old boy with a talent for putting my foot in my mouth?
“I’m sorry, I know I must sound like a freak.” I chuckled to hide my nervousness.
Isabella is probably used to guys trying to sweep her off her feet with grand gestures. I must be quite a disappointment.
“I understand Edward. I thought it was just me, but you’ve been on my mind a lot also. I think I’d like to become friends, if that’s okay with you? I don‘t have many friends.”
Instead of tossing me from her apartment, as I deserved after practically admitting my obsession, she confessed to thinking about me too, and offered friendship.
“I’d love to be your friend Bella.” I wanted to choke on those words. They were difficult to say because I knew friendship would never be enough.
Jasper’s words came back to me then, and his sincere suggestion that I take the three days to get to know Isabella and decide if I wanted something more than friendship.
I laughed inwardly realizing that it had taken exactly one day.
One day.
The more time we spent together, the more I never wanted to be apart from her. Now, sitting close to her in her little apartment, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her. I knew if I did that, I’d want nothing more than to kiss her. I had been compiling a list in my head of all the other things I wanted to do with her.
But, we were friends.
“Also, I think I’d like to try to share some of the things that happened to me, who knows, maybe it will help.” She said quietly.
As my friend, Bella then proceeded to tell me some of the details of being the collateral damage of her mother’s fucked up decisions.
She sat there with her arms wrapped around herself, prompting me to try to comfort her in some way.
She became visibly upset when she began to speak of her mother’s relationship with a man named Jeff. By her description, it became clear that their move back to Arizona from Florida was made in an effort to distance themselves from this Jeff.
“She dated him for about a year, then she left him and moved us back to Phoenix, where we’d lived the first year after she divorced Charlie.”
“She never told me why she left Jeff. Within six months, she met Phil. He thought the world of her, and was very good to both of us. I believe they would have married if…”
I held her hand in both of mine in a comforting gesture, enjoying the same familiar electric spark from before, as she told me about Jeff finding them, and her mother dying.
I held her close to me when she broke down in sobs. “Oh Bella, I wish I could make it go away. I would do anything to be able to do that for you.” I felt useless.
From the things she told me, I had to assume Jeff , that piece of shit who needs to drown in a pool of his own vomit, killed her mother.
“Edward, if you didn’t already figure it out, I’ll just tell you. I’m broken. I don’t know if I’ll ever work right. I witnessed things that nobody, much less a fifteen year old child, should ever see or hear.” She whispered.
When she listed her many injuries and showed me the scars on her wrists, I almost crumbled under that weight of my sorrow for the young girl who had lost so much.
“After that night, I can’t stand to have anything around my wrists. I don’t wear a watch or bracelets.” She continued in a whisper.
“My God Bella, what did he do to you?” I couldn’t hide my alarm. The question kept playing over and over in my mind, like a broken record. I honestly don’t know what I thought had happened in Bella’s past, but I didn’t expect this.
“My mother saved me before he could physically damage me too much. But that doesn’t mean I’m not ruined. I fear I’ll never be normal. Some days that thought kills me Edward, it literally sucks me down into the blackness and my will alone isn’t enough to pull me out.”
Somehow her mother had saved her life. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of what she must have gone through, and even sicker with the realization that she might have been killed that day.
I knew for a fact that I would be haunted by the thought of what she may have suffered until she could tell me the rest of her story.
Bella’s depression in the years following her mother’s death was something I could relate to. I had been in that grey and barren place before myself. Our experiences were different, yes, but the ways we coped, or didn’t cope, were similar.
“If I hadn’t had my family, I would not have made it. I think now you can understand my closeness to Rose and Emmett, and why they are a bit overprotective.” Her sad smile broke my heart.
I tightened my hold on her “I do understand completely Bella. Please don’t feel that you have to explain all this to me right now. I don’t want to add to your pain.”
“I feel compelled to tell you this Edward.”
I was floored when she told me that I was the only man, outside of family and close friends, that had been able to touch her without a negative response.
“Edward, I don’t know why, but I feel safe with you.”
She felt safe with me. With those simple words, Isabella had succeeded in melting what was left of my frozen heart. I wanted to be the one to protect her. I wanted to be the one she confided in.
I didn’t know if there would be any coming back from this for me. The cold bastard that used to be Edward Masen, appeared to have checked out, possibly never to return.
I stared at the marks on her wrists.
I wonder when I will have the courage to show her my scars?
Wanting to comfort and reassure her, I kissed the scars on both wrists, “I promise to never hurt you Bella.” I whispered into her ear.
She and her family had been to hell and back. They were each others’ support. I was beginning to understand their relationship. It all started to make perfect sense to me now. Even her parish priest back in Forks, part of Bella’s ’inner circle’, had played a vital role in her recovery.
“I had moved back to Forks in May of my freshman year of high school. Charlie made arrangements with the school to allow me to do my lessons at home for the remainder of that school year. I’m a very dedicated student, so I kept up with the classes easily.”
Another parallel in out lives. I finished that school year from home also, before escaping to my new life in California.
“By September, my emotional state had improved enough to attend school. After I graduated, I moved here for college, and you already know the rest.”
I thought about everything she had just told me.
“Bella, I don’t know what to say” I admitted.
“Edward, why don’t we talk about you for a while?” I could tell that she was tired.
“No, this is your day. We can talk about me another day.” I used every bit of my skill as an actor to pull off a smile.
My basic insecurity, which flared up only when I was around Bella, reared its ugly head and forced me to ask the stupidest question of the day.
“I know what you just said about men, but you had to have had a boyfriend in high school or college, Bella. You‘re so beautiful, I can‘t imagine that no nice guys pursued you” My statement was true, but as soon as the words left my mouth, I felt like an asshole that just wanted the details of her romantic past.
Congratulations dickhead. What a way to show your sensitivity, after Bella just shared so many agonizing details of her past with you.
She shook her head, “No Edward. I couldn’t stand it if any boys got too close to me. I would have flashbacks to that terrible day. Dating for me, was never an option.”
Being angry with myself didn’t change the fact that I was desperately happy inside when she admitted to never having had a boyfriend.
I’m a fucking Neanderthal. I could never deserve her.
“Some guys in high school tried to ask me out. I never said yes, so after a while, and with the help of my very public meltdowns, they stopped asking.”
“Eventually, even the girls stopped talking to me. I never even told my family about that.“
“It’s been better in college, but I also became an expert at keeping my shield in place. I don’t put myself in a position to be asked out. It’s quite easy if you apply yourself.” She smiled.
I had to chuckle. “Oh Bella, I definitely know something about that.”
It was true, I’d become an expert at avoiding sexual advances. But there was no way for Bella to know this.
“Bella, you say it’s different with me?”
“Yes, with you I haven‘t had any of my usual reactions. It‘s almost like I‘m normal when I’m with you.”
This lit a flame of hope in my heart that maybe, just maybe, she’d be willing to try a relationship with me.
“Do you think you could date me?” I held my breath as I waited for her answer.
““That depends Edward.”
“On what?”
“You would have to understand that I wouldn’t share.”
She wouldn’t share.
If she only knew. She’d never have to share not now, not ever.
I smiled genuinely this time. “Oh Bella, I wouldn’t expect you to want anything less.”
I had to fight back the urge to kiss her. The desire had been there from the first day, but it had never been this strong. Instead, I kept my outward cool as I reassured her.
“Bella, I can’t explain everything to you now, but I promise I will soon. For now, I need you to believe me when I say that I’m not dating anyone. I have no girlfriend.“ This was the most I could tell her right now.
I knew that I needed to see Tanya face-to-face in order to explain things to her. This wasn’t a conversation to be had over the phone. There were several reasons for this, first of all it was too impersonal. Tanya needed to see that I was sincere. My second reason was that phone calls are intercepted all the time, and I didn’t want to run the risk of the details of this particular conversation being leaked to the press prematurely. The third issue had to do with Felix. For at least a year, he’s wanted to quit working for me, but Tanya was the hold-up. The façade we’d created was always the number one priority with Tanya.
Bella‘s voice pulled me from my thoughts “I can’t wait to have that talk Edward.”
This evening had been a turning point in my relationship with Bella and, after tonight there would be no going back.
--V&V--
Back at my hotel suite, I tried to relax before going to bed, but my mind wouldn’t stop replaying the evening over in my head.
There was a song stuck in my head, and I needed to add it to my ‘Bella’ play list. Knowing that my presence helped ease her pain, I was filled with a resolve to do everything I could to help her heal completely. I needed to do that for her, and for me.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want, but not what you need,
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep,
Stuck in reverse.
And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you can't replace,
When you love someone, but it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you.
Tears stream down on your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace,
Tears stream down on your face,
And on your face I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Hopefully someday she’d be able to think of her mother without reliving the pain and sorrow of that horrible day.
Isabella had confided so much in me tonight, not only her past, but she also hinted at her feelings for me. I knew that sometime soon I would need to be just as honest with her about my past.
Soon, but when exactly?
That remained to be seen. I was certain that I would know when the time was right.
I may not have known when I would tell Bella my story, but there was one thing I was sure of. After a week of mental confusion resulting in many incidents of out-of-character behavior for me. One word summed up the feelings that I had for Bella.
Love
I was in love with Isabella Swan.
--V&V--
The next morning, I had just slipped on my boxers after taking a shower, when I heard a knock at my door.
Knowing it was too early for Isabella to be here yet, I looked through the peephole. The concierge was waiting in the hall.
I covered my state of partial undress with a bathrobe, and answered the door.
“Yes?” was my curt but polite address.
I watched as the concierge blatantly checked me out without even attempting to answer my question. She smirked and played with the button on her blouse while taking a seductive stance.
Here we go.
“Is there something you need?” I was a little hostile this time.
She must not have even noticed the tone of my voice, because she gave me a sultry smile before reaching out to place her hand on my chest. I took a step back before she made contact.
“Let me help you gather your thoughts, Julia. You must have important business to discuss with me if you are knocking on my door at eight in the morning. Either get to your business, or be on your way, because I can assure you that if you attempt to touch me again or attempt any other type of behavior that I deem as anything other than professional, I will phone the owner of this hotel and inform them. I’m fairly certain that things would end badly for you.”
Thank God I didn’t lost the ‘asshole persona’ completely. Maybe it only disappears around Isabella.
As for the concierge, while I spoke her face reddened, before losing color altogether. She blurted out a stilted apology, and handed me a stack of correspondence that she’d been holding.
“Um, Mr. Masen, here this was delivered for you.”
I leafed through the stack. It was the mail that had been forwarded to the hotel from my home.
“Julia, there’s a week’s worth of mail here, why wasn’t it delivered sooner.”
She flushed, and then smiled. “You were gone for a few days, and I wanted to make sure that you received it.”
“I still don’t see why it couldn’t have been left in the room, but be that as it may, I’ve got it now. I ask that in future, whether I’m here or not, the mail needs to be left on the desk in my suite.” I ordered.
“Now if that’s all, I’d like to get ready for my day.”
I saw her eyes glimmer once more as she glanced down at my robe-clad body and licked her lips.
I raised an eyebrow and scowled in warning.
Her posture changed abruptly then, and any thoughts she may have had of resuming her inappropriate behavior seemed to vanish.
Finally.
After finding out that Bella was on vacation from work and school until the fourth of January, I decided to change my return flight to Los Angeles until then in order to, hopefully, spend more time with her.
I set Isabella to work changing my flight arrangements, and rescheduling the meetings I would miss by going home later.
I sat in the living room, attempting to read a script that Jasper thought I’d be interested in. He had read the book and really liked it, and after reading the script, he assured me that the scriptwriter had remained true to the story. That was all well and good, but meant nothing to me at this point, because I couldn’t comprehend two words of what I was reading. I was too busy surreptitiously watching Bella, hoping she wouldn’t catch me.
I could watch her all day.
I gave up trying to read the script altogether, opting to just fake it instead. She was opening the mail and biting her lower lip while concentrating on what she was reading. I was still mesmerized by her lips when she began to twist a piece of hair around her fingers.
Please don’t play with your hair.
Isabella was so sexy without even realizing it. Maybe it was just me that she affected this way. I didn’t care, I only knew that she was the first woman I’ve wanted to drag into the bedroom and…..
Fuck, I have to stop thinking about that. I need to get my dick under control. I’m beginning to forget what a hot shower feels like as it is.
Suddenly, Bella’s eyes widened in surprise as she read.
“Is everything alright Isabella?” I tried to hide my amusement at the expression on her face.
“Well, yeah, but you’ve got a wedding invite here for Sylvia McGuire and Mark Sargent. I’m amazed that they’ve been able to keep their relationship secret.”
Oh Isabella, if you only knew the truth about Hollywood, you’d be shocked. She’s as naïve as I was when I first arrived there.
She seemed intrigued as I explained how Sylvia and Mark had made a deal with People magazine to cover their wedding. Everything was being done on their terms.
If Isabella and I were to marry, I’d like to manage the media the same way.
Whoa. Marriage? I really need to get a grip.
She looked apprehensive when she asked if I’d be attending the wedding. I couldn’t understand why that would make her worry.
I wonder if she would consider attending with me? That would be a nice thing for friends to do wouldn’t it?
When I told her I was thinking of asking someone to go with me, I guessed at the source of her worry.
Is it even possible that Isabella is afraid I will take someone else? God I hope so.
“Bella, would you consider going with me?” I asked her.
Why would I expect her to agree to that? It’s too soon Edward.
“Um, Edward, I don’t know how to answer that.”
Maybe by the time it gets here, she’ll want to go with me.
“Put me down with a plus one anyway. Maybe I’ll be able to talk you into it by then.” Deciding to remain hopeful, I winked at her.
By then, she will know everything. Which may be a bad thing.
Hopeful Edward. Hopeful.
-------V&V----------
A little while later, Christopher arrived for my fitting. He kept Bella entertained for the better part of two hours with tales of he and Alice in college.
I really enjoyed spending time with Chris. Especially when he was annoying Jasper. If Jasper only knew that I was partially responsible for that, he’d have my ass.
It all started a couple of years ago. Jasper has always tried to convey the image of being a dignified, unaffected, serious type of guy. Alice, Chris and I believed that Jasper needed to loosen up because he took himself way too seriously.
Chris has never hidden the fact that he has a big crush on Jazz. As soon as Alice and I realized that Chris’s simple compliments and little remarks could rattle Jazz, we encouraged Chris to take every opportunity to annoy and embarrass the shit out of him, while we sat back and laughed our asses off.
I never wanted Jasper to know about my involvement in any of it. He was a cold, calculating motherfucker, just like his Father, and I was certain he’d find a way to exact revenge and make it look like an accident.
When Bella excused herself to the bathroom, I pulled out my cell and made a quick call to Alice.
“Hello brother dear” She answered.
“Hey, I need a favor.” I spoke in almost a whisper
As usual, Alice knew what I needed before I asked.
“You want me to convince Bella to go with you to the wedding in Aspen.” She answered. “Piece of cake Edward.” She chirped.
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks Alice.”
“Jasper and I are on our way to take you guys to lunch. We’ll be there soon. I’ll bring it up then.”
Hands down, the best sister on earth.
“You are the best Ali.” I smiled.
“Yeah? You’re not so bad either.” She answered. “Most of the time.” She added with a chuckle.
Before Bella came out of the bathroom, Chris quietly told me that I’d be a fool if I ever let her get away.
I had to agree.
Soon after Chris was finished with the fitting, Alice and Jasper arrived.
We chatted with them and Chris for a few minutes, and Bella was made aware of my sister’s psychic abilities.
I was relieved when she didn’t seem bothered by it.
Chris started saying his goodbyes, and I waited to see what he would do to Jazz. Chris didn’t disappoint.
“I see you’re still wearing those cowboy boots Jazz. Just remember that my offer still stands.” And then he winked at Jasper.
I wonder what that means?
Jasper reacted the way he always did, gasping for air and scoping out a way to escape. Alice grinned at Chris, who chuckled in answer.
Chris then said goodbye to Bella and I, “Edward, always a pleasure to see you. You’re drool worthy on screen, and even more so in person.”
I laughed and shook his hand while patting his shoulder.
“And Bella” he said as he took her hand. “You are truly a gem, I am so glad to have met you, sweetheart.” He then placed a light kiss on my beautiful Bella’s hand.
I loved seeing Bella interact with my friends and family.
I noticed that she didn’t pull away from Chris.
“Well folks, I must dash. Being in a room with this many gorgeous people is starting to make me hyperventilate.” Chris said as he headed out the door.
I asked about the ‘boots’ reference Chris made, and laughed again when Alice explained it. “A couple of months ago, Chris told Jazz, and I quote: ‘Jasper, you can park your boots under my bed any time.’.” And then she exploded into laughter soon joined by Bella and myself.
Jasper just looked uncomfortable.
----------V&V---------
Later, as we ate lunch at a little bistro around the corner from my hotel, I was, once again extremely thankful for my sister.
“So, you got your invitation to Mark and Sylvia’s wedding?” It was more of a statement rather than a question from Alice.
“Bella, I hope you’ll decide to go with us.” She stated to a flustered Bella.
“So, you and Jasper are attending?” She asked.
“I wouldn’t miss it, Sylvia and Mark are two of my best clients, and I designed the wedding gown.” Alice smiled.
“We are all going, Edward will rent a suite for everyone, so you’ll have your own room. There’s no need to feel awkward about it.”
Yes! Once again my sister proves her brilliance.
“Well, I guess if Edward really wants me to, I can come.”
I am a lucky man.
“Really?!” Alice squealed.
I’m also going to be a deaf man if Alice doesn’t tone it down.
“Sugar, I’d suggest you bring your enthusiasm down just a notch. I’m afraid Edward may have all kinds of unwanted attention as it is already.” Jasper smiled at my sister.
I looked around and noticed about three tables of customers looking our way, a far smaller number than I was used to.
This Aspen trip is a dream come true. I’ll be able to get to know Bella better before her visit to California.
The next part of my interview with Rosalie was to take place at the Washington Park Arboretum. It had been years since I’d been there, and I barely remembered it.
Upon our arrival, I immediately went to the makeup chair. The crazy makeup artist was back, dressed for Halloween or a hooker’s convention, take your pick.
Bella left to get coffee and, presumably, that was all it took for Camille to lose all pretense of professionalism. As she started on my makeup she proceeded to tell me all about her plastic surgery.
I tuned her out as I thought about how to ask Bella to come to my parents’ house for dinner tonight. Suddenly, I realized that the crazy chick was pulling my hand toward her half unbuttoned shirt.
Was she trying to make me touch her tits? What. The. Fuck. ?
I wrenched my hand away from hers, and rocketed out of the chair. I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of Isabella, but I was mad as Hell.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I yelled.
The crazy chick just smirked and moved closer. “Eddie, you know you want it. We could have a very good time together. After your interview, ditch the little whiny bitch, and we can get out of here together. I know Swan can’t be satisfying your needs. Why waste your time with that when you can have this.“
Then she started to unbutton her blouse more.
My life is so fucked-up. Every woman I meet believes me to be a man-whore, and I have no one to blame but myself.
“Stop right there.” I was so angry. “First of all, don’t you ever speak of Isabella that way again. She’s ten times the woman you are, and you’re a complete fucking idiot if you think I’d ever choose someone like you over her.” I fumed.
She started walking closer as I crossed my arms across my chest, daring her to touch me.
Just then, Bella reappeared and immediately caught on that something wasn’t right.
Camille stopped when she spied Bella approaching.
“What’s going on?” Bella asked me.
“Bella, I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable with her touching me.” I was done with this shit. I could do the interview without makeup.
“She decided she couldn’t live without my opinion of her breast augmentation surgery! She told me as much, and before I realized what was happening, she was unbuttoning her shirt and pulling my hand towards her…ugh, I can’t even say anymore.” I didn’t want Bella’s innocent ears to be exposed to what just happened.
“Camille, I need you to come with me.” Bella was pissed. It was such a turn-on.
I watched as she walked Camille over to where Rose was speaking with her producer.
I caught a few words of Bella’s explanation, “several remarks….sexual nature….inappropriate behavior…..she be replaced…… Stifler’s mom here…
That part made me laugh out loud.
“…tried to flash Edward……her diseased tits.”
She’s like an angry little kitten.
From where I stood, I was able to hear every word of Rose’s response.
“I can’t deal with you as I would like right now because that would be illegal.” she seethed. “You need to pack up your shit, right now, and go. I’ll leave it up to Wally here and the station manager to decide if you have a job at all after today, but you will never work on any of my segments again you classless bitch.”
The crazy chick ran away, as did the producer, just before I saw Rose and Bella begin to laugh hysterically.
I smirked and shook my head while watching the two of them. Bella’s laughter was the most beautiful sound in my world.
She owns me. I’ve known her a week, and she owns me.
**************************************************************************************************
The second part of the interview for Rose’s show had gone very well. I was grateful that, despite our familial connections, she’d respected my boundaries.
I didn’t enjoy talking about my involvement in charity work, it always felt like bragging. A lot of the work I’ve done, I’ll never speak of in an interview. It means more to me if I can do it without any sort of fanfare.
Every now and then during the interview I would glance at Bella. Each time, she seemed to be hanging on my every word. She seemed most interested when I spoke of the upcoming movie in which part of the filming would be done here in Seattle.
I hope that means what I think it does.
I stood by as Rosalie said goodbye to Bella, promising to see her later tonight. I agonized all the way to the hotel about asking her to my parents’ for dinner.
Why is this so difficult?
Back in my suite, Bella was rattling off my schedule for tomorrow. “Okay, so you’ve got a photo shoot with Seattle About Town magazine in the morning, it’s supposed to last from 10am to noon. Then the last part of Rose’s interview takes place in the television studio from about two-thirty to four-thirty.”
I just stared at her, trying to work up the courage to ask her already.
“Edward, are you okay?” She looked apprehensive.
“God, Bella” I felt like a freak. “You’re going to think I’m some kind of psycho stalker.”
I paced the room as I thought of all the out of character things I’d done since meeting her.
If Bella only knew, she’d never speak to me again.
“Just say it Edward.” She still looked apprehensive.
No wonder, she’s probably figured out that she’s in the same room with a crazy man. Better get this over with.
“It’s just, I know I need to slow down where you are concerned, but I don’t seem to be able to.”
“I just want to spend more time with you. I may be developing an unhealthy obsession, there‘s a distinct possibility that I‘m coming unhinged.” I chuckled like an insane person. “The bottom line is that when I heard Rose say she’d see you later tonight, I realized I probably wouldn’t, and that bothered me.”
More than it should.
“Edward, I’m confused. What are you saying exactly?” She sounded concerned.
“Okay, well, here’s the thing. Bella would you go with me to my parents’ for dinner tonight?”
She’s frowning. No doubt she’s calculating how quickly she can sprint to the door, and get the hell away from me.
“Okay” She whispered.
“Really?“ Did I hear her correctly?
“Of course Edward.“
It was such a relief to know she’d actually give me a chance. I was so happy that I forgot myself and pulled her into a tight hug, not realizing my mistake until I felt her stiffen in my arms.
“Bella, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Edward” She said as she took my hands in hers, moving closer. “I said things were different with you, and I meant it. You just surprised me that’s all. I thought you had come to your senses, and were going to tell me you were no longer interested in seeing me. I realize that the only thing about this” gesturing between the two of us, “that could truly hurt me, would be if you walked away.”
Breathe Edward, just breathe.
I was stunned, she feared that I would leave?
“That will never happen Bella, I’m in this for the long haul.”
She hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her, wanting to keep her there forever.
----------V&V----------
I called Mother as soon as Bella left.
“Hi Mom. Would it be okay if Bella and I arrive around six-thirty?“
She squealed in my ear.
Now I know exactly where Alice gets it.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry, but I am so excited.” She continued. “Alice and I have been planning this dinner all day. She knew that Bella would be coming of course.”
“I wish I could be as certain as Alice always is.” I muttered.
“Edward, when will you learn to always listen to your sister.” I could hear the smile in my mother’s voice.
“Yes Mother.” I answered playfully. “There’s just one thing Mom.”
“What honey?” She asked.
“Well, um, this is hard to explain but could you just let Dad and Jasper know that they probably shouldn’t hug Bella.”
My family members were huggers.
“Why ever not dear?” Mom asked.
“I can’t really say Mom, but She went through some traumatic things, and she can’t handle a lot of physical contact, especially from men she doesn’t know.”
Hopefully that explained without betraying Bella’s confidence.
My mother was quiet for a moment. “Of course dear. I’ll let them know. Edward, I don’t know what to say.”
“Mom, I don’t know all the details yet myself, I just want Bella to feel comfortable.” I explained.
Mother seemed to brighten then. “Good, yes, we will do everything we can to make her comfortable Edward. Don’t worry honey. Well, I must go now. Make sure you dress nicely, we don’t want Bella thinking that you’re a scruffy bum.”
That was unusual coming from my Mother, most of the time she left the wardrobe comments to Alice.
“Alright Mother, I’ll see what I can do.” I smiled.
“Okay, bye dear, and Edward?”
“Yes..”
“You’ve made me very happy.” She said just before hanging up the phone.
I’ve made myself pretty damn happy too. I thought with a smile.
It wasn’t something I was used to.
----------V&V----------
At precisely six o’clock I stood at Bella’s door with a goofy grin on my face.
Bella opened the door, smiling brightly. Once again our color choices matched.
I suppose Alice will be pleased.
My eyes raked over her body. Drop-dead gorgeous. I was surprised to hear my own voice, because my brain had stopped working.
“You are so beautiful Bella.” I murmured. “Are you ready to go?”
“As I’ll ever be.” She said with a soft smile.
“Don’t worry Bella, my family will love you, Alice already does.” I took her hand and led her down to the waiting car.
I kept her talking on the ride to the house, hoping to calm her nerves. As expected, Bella had quite an animated reaction to my parents’ house.
I heard her mutter “fuck”, and couldn’t help chuckling. She looked slightly embarrassed.
“It’s just a house Bella. If it affects you this much, you may need a valium before you see my place in L.A.” I teased.
I can’t wait for her trip to L.A.
“Excuse me for being a little stunned Mister movie star, who’s used to this kind of thing.” She pretended to be offended by my amusement. “Remember I’m from a small town. Hello… my Dad’s a cop, and my Mom was a sometime kindergarten teacher, so I can be impressed by this.”
“And since you think I’m so amusing, I’ll just say that your parents have one fuckawesome house! So there.” She stuck her tongue out at me like a five year old.
Adorable.
Unfortunately, she hadn’t noticed my parents approach, and they were now standing directly behind her.
“I hope that’s a good thing.” My mother said.
There’s that blush I adore.
I continued to laugh as Bella smiled and turned to face my parents, who were smiling brightly in return.
My parents are going to love her.
“If our son would compose himself, he could introduce us. I’m assuming you’re Bella?” My mother asked as she shot me a glare.
I did not care. This shit was funny. When Bella turned to glare at me, I laughed harder.
“Thanks Edward, you’re a lot of help.” She said through gritted teeth.
“Yes, I’m Bella.” She said, turning back to my parents.
“We’re Edwards’ parents, obviously. I’m Esme.” Mom said as she grasped Bella’s hand in both of hers.
“And this is Carlisle.” Mom continued.
My Dad smiled and said “It’s a pleasure to meet you Bella.”
“Thank you Doctor and Mrs. Cullen for inviting me to dinner. I apologize for the um, you know, what you heard me say a minute ago. I’m really trying to curb my potty mouth. Obviously not trying hard enough…I‘m seriously considering checking to see if there‘s some sort of 12-step program…”
She is one of a kind.
“Don’t worry about it Bella. I’ve been know to ‘let fly’ with a few inappropriate words myself.” Mom was trying to make her feel better. It was actually rare for her to use bad language.
We went inside where Alice and Jasper were waiting. Bella seemed to be mesmerized by the beauty of the house. We’d always lived in similarly opulent surroundings, so it was something that I never really thought about.
“Hi again Bella” Alice said as she hugged Bella. I hope Bella didn’t notice that Jasper and Dad kept their distance.
We went to sit in the family room in the rear of the main floor. Next to the music room, my parents were aware that this room was my favorite. The outside lights were on, so we could see the dock and the boat. The view was nice, but not as beautiful as the sunset would have been across the water.
Bella and my parents seemed to hit it off. Alice kept grinning at me, with an ‘I told you so’ expression on her face. They talked about Mom and Dad’s careers, Alice and my childhoods, and their charitable work.
I was afraid that Bella would get bored, but I could tell that was not the case.
At one point, I assumed that everything had just been too much for her. Especially after the frank conversation we’d had yesterday. She seemed to get a little lightheaded.
“Oh Bella dear, are you alright? You look flushed, can I get you something to drink?” Mom was concerned.
“I’ll be fine Esme, it’s just been a busy day.” I felt like a jerk dragging her out when she was probably tired after the day we’d had. I took a glass of water to her, that seemed to help.
After dinner, I took Bella on a tour of the house. I couldn’t resist the urge to take her hand in mine. It just felt right. “Is this okay?” I asked, gesturing to our clasped hands.
“Definitely okay, Edward.” she smiled.
I tried to see things through her eyes, and realized the house was probably a bit overwhelming. The last room we visited was my old bedroom.
Bella started giggling inexplicably upon entering my room.
I wanted, no I needed to know why. “Bella, why are you laughing?”
At first, she wouldn’t say. I kept asking until she finally relented. Hearing the story of her brother’s fantasy of having sex in his childhood bedroom, and then fulfilling said fantasy Christmas night was amusing.
Then I realized that was the night I stalked her. The night I spied on her from my Dad’s car.
I am such an asshole. She would freak out if she knew I did that.
I looked around my room, trying to distract myself.
I would love to fulfill that particular fantasy, but only with Bella.
I felt like shit for having those thoughts after everything she’d told me, but I couldn’t help myself. Bella must have noticed that I was uncomfortable.
“Um, Edward, I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward, I was just laughing at the ridiculousness that is Emmett. This being your ‘childhood bedroom’ just triggered the memory.”
“It’s fine Bella. It’s just that it’s been a long time since I’ve had any kind of fantasy like that.” I sighed.
I suppose I must have had that fantasy about Meghan at one time. But everything that happened afterward has erased those memories from my brain.
I pulled her down to sit beside me. I looked into her face, and found the understanding and hopefulness I had been looking for.
“If I were to tell you that you were making me feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time, what would you say?” I asked nervously.
“What things do I make you feel Edward?”
She was going to make me spell this out.
“If I were to tell you that I want to be with you all the time Bella, that I never want you to go home. If I were to admit that I hate saying goodbye to you.”
I watched her face and saw nothing to deter me from continuing. “If I were to be completely honest, and tell you that I want the same thing Emmett wanted, but with you. Only with you, no one else, no one else ever.”
Bella gasped and then grew silent as she pondered what I had said. Eventually, she turned to face me and clasped my other hand. “Edward, if you were to tell me those things, I would have to tell you that ever since we met, you’re the first thing I think of when I wake up. You’re the last thing I think of before I go to sleep. You’re in my thoughts every moment that we’re not together.”
This is my life she is describing. How could fate be this kind to me?
I didn’t even try to hide my happiness at her words.
“I would say that my logic tells me that it’s impossible for someone like you to want someone like me, but my heart wants it to be true more than anything.” She whispered.
No, no, no. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve her. She’s kind and beautiful and sweet and true. And entirely too good for me.
I shook my head. “Isabella, I told you before that you don’t see yourself clearly.”
I ran my hand through my hair while never releasing her other hand. “I always thought I was content, even happy within myself. I have my family, my career, my charitable work, and I always felt those were enough to sustain me.“ I said in answer.
“The moment I met you, everything instantly changed. I walked out of that television studio like a man who had been struck by lightning. I actually couldn’t decide if my feelings for you were a good thing or a bad thing. It was so strange, so foreign.“
It was all coming out now. My truth was being revealed.
“For the past several years, I have perfected my public image and demeanor into this calm, unaffected, arrogant, well let’s be honest, everyone thinks I’m sort of an asshole. When I’m with you, all of that falls away and I sometimes feel like an insecure seventeen year old again. It’s unnerving, exhilarating, but also calming all at the same time.”
“I’m quickly learning that you’re everything I never knew was missing in my life. Everything I never knew I needed and wanted.”
Please Bella, don’t overthink this, just hear it.
“Isabella” I looked at her and moved closer, the urge to kiss her had never been stronger “Bella” I clasped her shoulders, pulling her closer. “Keep very still, I just want to try something.” I brought my lips closer, they were almost touching hers.
My door suddenly flew open.
Alice. Why? Why? Why?
“Okay Edward, you’ve monopolized Bella long enough.“ She sang as she pulled Bella from the room. “Mom and I want to have some ‘girl time’ with Bella, go find something to do with Dad and Jasper.“
“But” I knew I’d never win against Alice.
“No buts, just go.” My sister could be the most frustrating individual.
What could I do? I went in search Jasper and my Dad. As soon as I walked away, my arms felt empty.
***V&V**
I found Dad and Jasper downstairs in the game room playing pool. They smiled at me knowingly. I grabbed a beer and joined them. “I knew it was just a matter of time before Alice stole Bella away from you.” Jasper laughed.
I just shrugged dejectedly. “You know I love Alice very much, but sometimes it’s hard to like her.”
Dad and Jazz just laughed at me.
So much for ‘comrades in arms’ or some such shit.
“Bella’s a nice girl Edward.” Dad remarked.
And that was it. No probing questions. No heart to heart. Not the interrogation that I would have received at the hands of Mom and Alice. It was nice hanging out with the guys. We just played pool and talked about sports.
After my second beer, I went in search of Bella. I found the women in the sunroom drinking cocktails.
“Let’s go for a walk.“ I said quietly to Bella as I took her hand. After we put our coats on, I led her outside to the boat.
“Edward are we going somewhere?” She asked.
“No, I just wanted to sit outside to talk, and this boat has really comfortable seating.” I smiled. We needed to be away from inquisitive ears.
And hopefully Alice wouldn’t think of looking for us here.
Once we were settled on the bench, I held her hand again. I was loathe to lose physical contact with her.
“I wanted to ask you a little more about your plans for the future Bella.” This was important, because I knew I had no future without Bella in it.
“Oh no Edward. I decided that since we’re on your home turf, tonight should be a night I can find out about you.”
“You decided this hm?”
“It’s only fair Edward. I’ve bared my soul to you, I think I’m entitled.”
I felt like a jerk once again. She has been so forthcoming while I sat back and allowed her to dredge up a number of painful memories. I kissed her nose before I spoke “I agree, I haven’t been very fair. Ask away Miss Swan.”
“Okay. Well, I hope it’s okay to ask this, here goes. Have you ever had your heart broken?”
Wow, the first question was going to force me to talk about the one subject I wanted to avoid. Well one of two subjects. Meghan. I didn’t even want to think of her while in the presence of my beautiful Bella.
“I thought I was in love once, and she did break my heart. Although, now that I’ve met you, I realize the feelings I had for Meghan couldn’t have been love. Those feeling were nowhere near as intense as those I have for you. It’s the difference between night and day. Therefore, I suppose we’ll have to categorize what I felt for Meghan as a crush.” I smiled, realizing the truth of my own words.
“Meghan?” She was curious.
“Yes, Meghan Walters.” I guess I needed to get through as much of this as possible. I owed it to Bella. “We had been dating since we were both fifteen, in the spring during 9th grade. We broke up two years later, in May of our junior year, not long before I moved to Hollywood.”
“Physically, we never did anything more than kiss. I was willing, even anxious. I was a normal teenage male after all. But she didn’t want to, and I didn‘t push her. I assumed she needed more time.“
What a naïve fool I was.
“For the night of Junior Prom, Meghan had agreed to stay over at a hotel with me. My parents were surprisingly forward-thinking, and allowed me to plan the weekend. I booked a beautiful suite and went there beforehand to fill the bedroom with flowers and candles. I was pulling out all the stops. I knew in my heart we loved each other, and that this would be the night we would both lose our virginity. We were almost eighteen and I couldn‘t see any reason to wait a moment longer. It just seemed like the right time.“
I told her that although Meghan and I never had sex, unbeknownst to me, she’d been cheating on me with a guy that was in his twenties.
Before relaying all the gory details of that night and the days following, I looked into her eyes to make sure it was the right thing to do. I didn’t care about what it would do to me, but I didn’t want to upset her unduly.
If she only knew that being with her was the best therapy I’d found in seven years.
“After what you told me, I owe this to you. Bella, I’m about to tell you things I haven’t spoken of with anyone outside of my therapist for years. But, you deserve to hear my truth.”
Then I proceeded to spill my guts to Bella. I wasn’t sure where this was coming from. Sure, I’d contemplated telling her, especially since she’d confided some of her past with me, but I didn’t intend for it to be today.
By the time I’d gotten to the part about going back to my hotel room, getting trashed and passing out, my insides were in knots. If I hadn’t been holding Bella, I couldn’t have gotten through the rest.
“This next part of the story is very difficult for me Bella.” I choked out. My own personal angel wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek.
“Edward, it’s just me here. There’s no one else around that can harm you in any way.”
God I love her.
I pulled her closer and laid my head on hers.
“I was woken some time the next day by a roomful of police officers screaming at me as they tossed me around, trying to wake me up. I was aware that I was in nothing but my boxers, and the hotel suite was destroyed. Because of all the liquor from the night before, my stomach immediately lurched, and I vomited on the officer closest to me.”
“I remember him throwing me back with evident disgust, and another officer reading me my rights, while placing handcuffs on my wrists. I was still so drunk that I couldn’t understand anything they were asking me. I remember telling them that I had been with Meghan the night before and that she was a frigid bitch. I even signed papers without even reading them, I was so out of it.”
“Finally, I sobered up enough to shut up and ask for a lawyer. After that, they were forbidden from asking any more questions. My father arrived with our lawyer and they informed me that I was being charged with rape, assault, and other unspeakable things. Meghan had given a sworn statement against me, and in my state of drunkenness and/or hangover, I had even signed a confession.”
The emotions associated with those memories finally overwhelmed me, and I dropped my head into my hands. “I couldn’t remember anything, I didn’t know if I was guilty or not. Understand Bella, that at that point, I didn’t know about the scumbag she’d been seeing behind everyone’s back.”
“The judge at my arraignment was a friend of Meghan’s father, and he denied my bail. I was held in jail for several days, and as each day passed, because I couldn’t remember what happened, I became more convinced that I was guilty. I imagined that I had found Meghan in my drunken state, and done those things to her. I was the lowest, most vile creature alive because I had hurt the thing I most cared about.”
“My parents aged ten years that week. I felt so guilty for causing my family this stress and heartache. I hated myself. I wanted to die, and by the end of that week, I even went as far as to attempt suicide.“ I showed her my wrists.
“Oh Edward no.“ She was crying, and I felt horrible for causing her a moment’s pain. I rubbed soothing circles on her back until she calmed.
“After my suicide attempt, I was kept under observation in the psychiatric ward of Seattle General, while under police guard. A couple of days into my stay, all charges against me were dropped.”
“At first the only thing anyone would tell me was that Meghan’s real attackers had been taken into custody. I was not a suspect, and had in no way been involved in the assault.”
“I almost went out of my mind thinking about someone hurting her, even though I was relieved that it wasn’t me. I still thought I loved her, and couldn’t bear the thought of the horrible things she’d gone through. I also felt responsible for ‘driving her away’ to be hurt by some random guys.“
“Since I was no longer in ‘police custody’, my parents were able to spend more time with me. I was still under ‘suicide watch’, but because of his position in the hospital, Dad was able to influence my doctors to speed up the process to release me.“
“My Dad realized that the catalyst to the suicide attempt was that I believed myself guilty of harming Meghan. He also realized I needed the entire story so I wouldn’t harbor any guilt about what happened to her.”
“After Meghan had left me at Prom, she had the cab drop her off at Jimmy‘s apartment, Jimmy being her scumbag twenty-four year old boyfriend. She arrived unannounced and found Jimmy and his friend Dave snorting coke and having sex with a couple of girls.”
“Meghan went off on them and starting hitting Jimmy. He sent the girls away, and was able to calm Meghan down. Once she was calm, he proceeded to beat her severely for embarrassing him.”
I whispered the next part “He and his friend Dave raped Meghan and did unspeakable things to her until they eventually passed out.”
“At some point, she was able to make her escape. A good Samaritan found her staggering alongside the road, and took her to the closest hospital. The emergency room staff called the police and her parents.”
“Her Mother and Father immediately assumed that I was the one who had hurt her. The police arrested me, and Meghan was too afraid to tell the truth, and have to admit all the things she’d been doing for the last two years.“
“Somehow she heard about my suicide attempt and what little compassion and decency she had left forced her to finally admit the truth to her parents and the police. Meghan went into rehab, Jimmy and his friend were arrested, and I was freed.”
“After hearing the whole story from my Dad, I broke down. I was relieved that I hadn’t hurt anyone, but I descended into a deep depression which left permanent scars on my mental well-being. I refused to let anyone get close to me with the exception of my family. When you told me about yourself Bella, the pain I saw on your face mirrored my own in so many ways. Although my physical pain was self-inflicted, the mental anguish I suffered was excruciating. I knew you were someone who could understand that, as I understand yours.”
“I couldn’t bring myself to return to school for the last month of my junior year. My parents made arrangements so that I could complete the work at home. I was just so afraid that everyone would know that I‘d been arrested. And you know as well as I that even if the charges were dropped, there would still be those people that believe the accusation alone is proof of guilt.”
I then explained to her the lengths my parents and their lawyers had gone to in order to purge my name of even a hint of scandal. Thankfully the many screw-ups of the Seattle police helped them with that particular goal.
Judging by the fact that no tabloid journalist had even brought up the story, I had to assume that their efforts had been successful.
Now that I’d confided in Bella, I started to relax. I was much calmer as I spoke about the legal foundation started by my parents, and how they made sure to be ’connected’ with many persons of influence in order to be able to protect their friends and family.
“As for myself, the entire clusterfuck left me an emotional wreck. When I got the call to move to Hollywood just after my birthday, it was a Godsend. I was able to escape from Seattle, and anyone who knew about my ordeal. I was able to lose myself in my new life.”
“Just after I moved to California, my parents let me know about all their efforts and assured me that everything had been taken care of, and that my public image and career would never be tainted by what happened.”
“When you told me how you felt about your family Bella, I completely understood. I owe everything to my parents, Alice, and even Jasper.“
“Alice was enrolled to attend college on the east coast. Everything was set, she even had an apartment.” I went on to explain that Alice changed all her plans because she knew I would need her. She even gave up attending a school near Jasper’s college in order to be closer to me.
“I can’t even describe to you the intense guilt I felt for taking her from the school she’d had her heart set on, not to mention taking her away from Jasper. We had horrible arguments because I didn’t want her to do that for me, but she wouldn’t listen, and wouldn’t change her mind.“
“I’m so grateful she was so stubborn because there were many times over the next few years that I wouldn’t have made it without her. When I was working, things were easier, because I would completely focus on the job at hand. It was the time between projects that was dangerous for me. My depression was all-consuming at times. My guilt was eased slightly when Jasper transferred to California for his last two years of school.”
I then explained that my use of the family name of Masen, hadn‘t been solely for anonymity, I‘d also hoped that my relationship with Meghan, and any associated scandal would not be brought to light.
We sat for a long time in quiet reflection.
Bella was the first one to break the silence “Edward, thank you for telling me what happened to you. It means more than I can say. What I mean to say is, you mean more to me than I can say.”
“We certainly are a ‘fucked-up pair’. Maybe we can help each other and go forward together. Now that I know you, I can’t bear the thought of being without you.” She added.
This was more than I could have hoped for. I looked at her as I smiled, brushing a stray hair behind her ear. I knew what I needed to say next, “Beautiful Bella, I can’t face a single tomorrow without you. I love you.”
There, I’ve said it. I’ve said what I needed to. I know it’s too soon for her to reciprocate. That’s okay. That’s really okay.
I tried to convince myself.
“I love you too Edward, so much.” She whispered.
Did that really just happen? Did Bella just profess to love me too? Maybe I’m asleep?
The elation I felt spilled over into a broad smile. I cupped her face in my hands.
It certainly seems like I’m really awake. Oh who knows and who cares? I only wished I’d thought to bribe Jasper to keep Alice the hell away. If she intrudes again when I’m trying to kiss Bella, I’m burning her fucking wardrobe.
I brought my lips to hers. The first kiss I was to share with the woman I loved. The electric spark was there, increasing as the kiss intensified. I wanted this kiss to last forever. More than that, I desperately wanted to make love to her. I could feel my heart racing as visions of Bella wrapped around me filled my mind. I wanted more. I wanted her heart and her body. The thought was all-consuming.
Pull yourself together before you take Bella’s virginity on the floor of Mom and Dad’s boat.
I’m an asshole.
We broke apart in order to catch our breath. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a week.” Edward breathed. “How are you? I was afraid it would upset you.”
“I’m fine, no, let me rephrase, I’m spectacular.” She smiled.
I laughed, but then I thought how ‘not fine‘ Bella would be if she’d known the lascivious turn my mind had taken.
At least she still believes me to be a gentleman where she’s concerned.
“That was just, wow” she said brightly.
I couldn’t help but to agree with her, “Wow is a bit understated, but it will do.”
“Bella, do you remember the text on Christmas about what I wished for?” I asked.
She nodded.
“That was what I wished for.” It felt so good finally being able to admit my feelings.
After a little while, and more kissing, Bella mentioned the time.
She‘s probably exhausted. Damn it, I need to pay more attention to her needs.
Actually, I was exhausted too.
We said goodbye to my family, and headed back to Bella’s apartment. “The next time we come out here, I’ll take you for a drive in the Vanquish.”
“And when will that be Edward?”
Knowing Bella returned my feelings, I finally felt confident enough to admit wanting to spend all my free time with her.
“What are you doing this weekend?” I asked as I pulled her closer.
“I think I’m going for a ride in a fuckawesome car.” She grinned and winked at me.
We laughed.
All too soon, I was saying goodnight at her door. “Goodnight Edward, sweet dreams, I love you.” I would never grow tired of hearing it.
“Goodnight Beautiful Bella, I love you too. You are my whole world now.” The truth was getting easier to admit each time. Who would have thought that the day in which I shared so much of my fucked-up past with Bella would turn out to be the best day of my life.
So far.
Because I knew that now that I had her, each day I spent with her, would be better than the one before.
I thought back to that moment earlier this evening. The moment in which Bella said she loved me. The moment in which Edward Masen, cynical jaded asshole, became Edward Cullen, hopeful lovestruck optimist.
*******************************************************************************
I could hear music.
I can taste more than feel, This burning inside is so real
I can almost lay my hands upon, The warm glow that lingers on
Moved, lifted higher
Moved, my soul's on fire
Moved, by a higher love.
I could feel Bella’s tiny, warm body lying flush against mine. But how was she here? I knew I’d left her last night at her apartment. Not caring how or why, I wrapped my arms around her, my lips against her neck, breathing her in. Her scent was an intoxicating mixture of honey and lilac with a hint of something else. Strawberries maybe? Or maybe just Bella’s own unique fragrance. Nothing else in this world could compare to that scent.
I surrender all control,
To the desire that consumes me whole
And leads me by the hand to infinity,
That lies in wait at the heart of me
Moved, lifted higher
Moved, my soul's on fire
Moved, by a higher love
I trailed warm kisses down her neck and across her bare shoulder, but I needed to reach her lips. Pulling back slightly I lifted her chin. She smiled lazily at me.
Bare shoulder? I pulled the sheet up enough to peer underneath and realized we were both naked. Fuck. If this is a dream, I didn’t want to wake up.
Heaven bound on the wings of love,
There's so much that you can rise above
Moved, lifted higher
Moved, moved, by a higher love
By a higher love
I moved until Bella was lying beneath me, propping myself up on both forearms in order not to crush her with my body weight as I we kissed. I began to kiss down her neck and chest, my goal, Bella‘s perfect breasts.
I surrender heart and soul,
Sacrificed to a higher goal
Moved, moved by a higher love
By a higher love
I watched, mesmerized by her beauty, as her chest rose and fell with her labored breaths. We were both panting for more…
I gotcha, uh-huh, huh
You thought I didn't see ya now, didn’t ya, uh-huh, huh
You tried to sneak by me now, didn't ya, uh-huh, huh
Now gimme what you promised me, give it here, come on
WHAT THE FUCK! I was startled awake so thoroughly that I jumped up, and promptly fell out of the bed, right onto my ass.
Hey, Good God, Hey, Hey,
You promised me the day that you quit your boyfriend
I'd be the next one to ease on in
You promised me it would be just us two, yeah
And I'd be the only man kissin' on you, yeah
Fuck you Joe Tex.
I pulled my ipod from the dock and tossed it across the room.
**Note to self, NEVER put the ipod on shuffle when setting the alarm on the dock.
I rubbed my face with both hands and glanced down. My dick was straining to escape my boxers, standing at attention as if it was in a fucking military parade.
Erect, even after landing on my ass.
I had to admit I was impressed.
There was nothing for it but a cold shower. Another cold shower. I whipped my boxers off, heading for the bathroom.
The cold water worked its magic, and I was enjoying the feel of warm water running down my back, relaxing my muscles, as I thought back to my evening with Bella. It wasn’t surprising that she’d hit it off with my family, but I was pleased just the same. Leaving her last night in order to return to the hotel had been harder than ever before.
Just before bed, I’d sent her a text. Hopefully by now she’d read it.
The memory of my dream returned, and I realized that the song playing on the ipod must have influenced my subconscious, at least partially.
I may have to add that Depeche Mode song to Beautiful Bella’s playlist.
But then I can never fucking play it when I’m around her, because I’ll think about my dream, and get a hard-on.
Maybe I’ll just save the song for our first time. Our first time. The first time Bella and I make love…oh to have her writhing beneath me like in the dream...
Oh fuck me, I need the cold water again.
--V&V--
When I finally emerged from my arctic shower, there was a text message on my phone.
I grew concerned when I realized it was from Rose.
Edward,
Bella took a pretty bad spill this morning, so Emmett and I have taken her to the emergency room of Seattle General.
-Rose
She didn’t say if she was conscious. She didn’t say if she had any broken bones! She didn’t say if she was bleeding!!
“WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF MESSAGE WAS THAT?” I shouted at my phone.
My brain and my body immediately went into panic mode.
What do I do?
My hands were shaking as I tried to pull it together. First thing, call Sidney.
While throwing my clothes on, I spoke into the phone. “Hey Sidney, I don’t have time to explain. Please come pick me up, I need to get to Seattle General as soon as possible.”
I disconnected the call and finished dressing at top speed. I raced to the lobby to meet Sidney.
The paps chose a bad morning to try to speak with me.
“Edward, who’s the knockout brunette we’ve seen you with?”
“It’s not usually your style to have a hometown cutie on the side. You usually hook-up with Hollywood hotties.”
I’d had it. I was already stressed out and this pushed me past my limit.
“Why don’t you go fuck yourselves.” I said as I pushed through them just as Sidney pulled up to the curb.
I phoned my Dad from the car.
“Hello Son”
“Dad are you at work?”
“Just taking a break between surgeries.” He answered.
“Good, they just brought Bella into the emergency room. Will you meet me at the entrance?”
“Certainly Edward. What happened?” His voice full of concern.
“Rose sent a text saying something about Bella falling down.” My voice rising in panic at the end.
“Edward, it will be okay. Calm down.”
“I’ll try Dad. See you in a few minutes.”
--V&V--
Dad was waiting when we pulled up. “Edward, Son” He tried to slow me down. “I checked with the desk. Bella fell and hit her head.”
“Oh my God.” I muttered.
“That’s all I know, I didn’t get a chance to speak with her doctor yet.” He answered my unspoken worries.
Did she have a concussion? Was she even conscious? Oh Christ, what will I do if she’s not okay?
All these worries raced through my mind as I rushed through the hospital doors.
“This way son” Dad directed me toward one of the patient rooms in the emergency care wing.
Room 4
The woman I loved was behind that door. I didn’t even stop to knock, I just burst right through it.
My heart almost stopped at the sight of Bella in a hospital bed hooked up to various monitors. Thankfully, she was conscious and sitting upright, although she was deathly pale. I rushed over to her.
“Oh thank God. Bella are you alright?” I croaked out.
“My head’s killing me, but I’ve had worse.” My mind immediately went back to the list of injuries she’d received the day her mother died.
I heard my father say hello to Emmett and Rose. I couldn’t be bothered by any of that.
“What happened?” I grabbed Bella’s hand as if it were a lifeline, and sat beside her.
She is my lifeline.
Bella agreed to let Dad look at her chart. That made me feel better. I mean how could I be sure the doctor assigned to her case wasn’t a quack?
Bella proceeded to tell us about falling in the laundry room of her apartment building.
Emmett then explained how he found her. “So we get a text message promising us breakfast. Then you didn’t answer your door Bells. I had to resort to using my key.” He said.
“When I entered the apartment, I started to freak when I couldn’t find you anywhere. As soon as I saw the bottle of detergent sitting by your clothes basket, I figured you were doing laundry.”
“I left Rose to make coffee, and went to find you.” Emmett was holding Bella’s other hand and began rubbing it comfortingly. I felt sorry for him, he loved her so much. Hell, I felt sorry for myself.
“I found you on the floor. I was so scared.” Emmett was about to crumble. Rose tried to comfort him.
Well I guess that ice queen does have a heart. I should try to like her, Bella loves her after all.
“It’s okay Em, it was just a stupid accident. I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful.” Bella tried to comfort Emmett. “Thank you for finding me.” She said.
Typical Bella, she is the one that’s hurt, but she’s worried about everyone else.
I was wracking my brain, trying to figure out how I could have stopped this from happening.
I will be afraid to leave her on her own ever again.
I felt myself on the verge of a panic attack, and followed the advice given me my Dr. Gould. Slow, even breaths.
Bella, noticing my rather obvious anxiety, patted my hand. “I’m alright Edward. These kinds of things just seem to happen to me. I land in the emergency room quite often.”
Dad nodded his head in agreement as he studied Bella’s chart.
What the hell does that mean?
“I’m glad you’re here.” She said with a smile. “Even if I am dressed like a slob in my pjs and hoodie. I’d understand if you didn’t want to date me now Mr. Masen.”
And just like that, my anxiety disappeared.
“You are more beautiful every time I see you, even dressed like this with no makeup. You take my breath away Miss Swan.” I told her honestly.
I drew in a deep breath, “I came as quickly as I could after receiving Rosalie’s text message. I phoned my father on the way, and he met me at the door. Bella, I’ve never been so worried.” I sighed and dropped my head down in relief. When I felt Bella’s hand gently cup the side of my face, I leaned into it and closed my eyes, relieved that she seemed to be okay.
I heard her brother clear his throat, but I didn’t look at him.
“It’s okay Em.” I heard her softly reassure him.
I looked up then and saw that Rosalie and Emmett both wore looks of shock on their faces.
Then it dawned on me that it was our behavior that was shocking them.
Suddenly Bella blurted out “Edward, don’t you need to go to the photoshoot?”
Fuck it.
“That is the least of my worries Bella. I’ll call and tell them we need to reschedule.” I really didn’t give a shit, but I figured I’d be professional and call them.
Just then a doctor walked in. He recognized Dad of course, and they shook hands as Dad handed him Bella’s file.
I hope this fucker knows what he’s doing.
I stepped back a couple of feet to let him approach.
“Hello Isabella, I’m Doctor Legg.”
Wish I could tell what Dad thinks of this guy.
“So um, Doc?” Emmett asked.
The doctor turned toward him. “Yes?”
“Your first name’s really Seymour?” He started snickering. “As in Seymour Legg?” Emmett was chuckling. I guess I was in a fog, because I just wasn‘t getting it.
“Yes, unfortunately my parents had a strange sense of humor.” Dr. Legg answered Emmett.
“Don’t sweat it Doc, at least your last name’s not Butts.” Emmett said with another chuckle.
Seymour Butts. Wait a minute…now that’s funny.
“As if I’ve never heard that one before.” Dr. Legg grunted out.
Emmett’s a character. I could learn to like him.
“Please excuse my brother Dr. Legg, he never grew up.” Bella was not amused.
“Anyway, Isabella, as you probably know you’ve suffered a mild concussion. We’d like to keep you here under observation for a little while longer, but I don’t see any reason for you to be here overnight, as long as someone can stay with you for the next 24 hours.”
“Not a problem Doctor.” Rose stated. “Bella’s got a great support system.”
You’d better believe it, I won’t let her out of my sight.
“I’ll send a nurse in with an ice pack and some pain meds for your head.” The doctor announced. He glanced around the room and looked at me for a long moment.
I hope he doesn’t recognize me. Not in the mood to be personable with fans.
He looked away and left the room. I thought about what Emmett had said and chuckled again.
“Don’t encourage Emmett.” Bella scolded me. I smiled at her in response.
“Well, Bella, you’re in quite capable hands here. I’m going to head back upstairs to prep for my next surgery.” Dad said. “Please have someone call me if you need anything.” He patted her hand, then my shoulder.
“Goodbye everyone.”
“Bye Dr. Cullen.” Emmett and Rose said together.
I followed my Dad out, phone in hand.
“Dad” I said. My father stopped and looked at me questioningly.
“This Doctor Legg, he’s good?” I asked.
Dad smiled. “Yes Edward. He’s very good, and thorough. If he says Bella’s okay to go home, you don’t need to worry.”
I sighed. “Thanks Dad. This was quite a scare for me.”
Dad smiled. “Son, if you choose to share your life with someone, you have to accept the good times as well as the bad. Thankfully, everything turned out fine.” He patted my shoulder before walking away. “I’ll see you later”
“Bye Dad.” I muttered.
As I watched him leave, I noticed Sidney standing awkwardly against the far wall near the exit door. He was watching me expectantly.
I walked over to him. He spoke before I had a chance to. “How is Miss Swan, sir?” He asked with a worried look on his face.
Wow, this was unexpected. The Bella Swan effect again.
“She’ll be okay Sidney, just a mile concussion. It was quite a scare, but she’s fine.”
I watched as Sidney breathed a sigh of relief. “Glad to hear that Mr. Masen.” He replied.
“I don’t know when they will release her, but it shouldn’t be too much longer. Would you mind sticking around?”
I knew I was paying him for the entire day, but still felt the need to be polite.
“I’m at your service sir. I’ll be waiting in the vehicle. Just phone or text when you’re ready.” He replied, all business once again, and then exited through the doors to the parking lot.
I phoned the magazine, informing them that I’d had an emergency, and wouldn’t be available until later in the week.
They were very accommodating, and rescheduled everything for Saturday morning. I thanked them politely, and headed back to Isabella’s room.
I heard Bella speaking as I opened the door. “Even I, the born skeptic, now have to admit that ‘love at first sight’ is possible.”
I felt my heart warm at those words. She was telling them that we loved each other.
Taking her hand in mine again, I added “I know this seems strange to you both, but I have never felt this way about anyone before. Today proved to me that Bella is all I’ll ever want, and I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost her.”
Emmett and Rose seemed satisfied at that statement.
Before long, the nurse arrived with Bella’s icepack and medications.
Bella was stubborn. She insisted that the third part of my interview take place as scheduled. She wouldn‘t hear of us changing it, despite the protests of Rose and myself. We finally agreed once we realized we were getting nowhere arguing with her. We did insist that she attend only as an observer. She was not allowed to work.
I was less than happy with her insistence that Rose and Emmett take her home, and that I go to the hotel to prepare for the interview.
Damn it didn’t I just promise myself to NOT leave her alone?
When I argued about this, she cradled her head in her hands.
I am causing her pain. Once again I’m an asshole.
I clutched her hand once again. “I’m so sorry Bella, of course I’ll do as you ask. But, can I please come by to pick you up and take you to the station?”
“That would be fine Edward, and thank you.”
We walked out to the exit together. Emmett and Rose went to bring their car up. I was able to give Bella a quick goodbye kiss before she left.
--V&V--
While riding in the car back to my hotel, Alice phoned.
“Hi Edward. Dad called. I’m sitting here with Mom and Jasper. How’s Bella?“ She asked.
“She has a minor concussion but she’s on her way home now. I’m going to the hotel to dress for the interview, then I’m going to Bella’s.“ I answered.
Alice relayed this information to Mom and Jasper.
Suddenly, my mother was on the phone. “Oh Edward, you keep an eye on her. Concussions are funny things. If something doesn’t seem right, don’t hesitate to take her back to the hospital.“ Mom was worried too.
I think the events of the morning finally caught up with me because I could feel myself choking up at her words. My family barely knew Bella, and they already loved her. “Thanks Mom, for worrying.“ I said as my voice broke a little.
“Honey, I’m a mother, it’s what we do.“ She replied in a comforting tone.
Emmett and Rose left as soon as I arrived at Bella’s. She tried to argue with me about staying still and on the sofa, but I put my foot down. I was taking no chances with her recovery.
If she needed anything, I was more than happy to bring it to her. The damned laundry that started all this mess, was sitting in a large basket in her bedroom.
Wanting to feel useful, I started to fold it.
“Edward” I looked up to see Bella standing in the doorway of her bedroom with a horrified look on her face. “What do you think you’re doing?”
I was confused. “I’m folding your laundry?” I answered as I grabbed a green towel from the basket.
“No, no, and no.” She lunged toward me, grabbing the towel and shoving it back in the basket. “Um, Edward, you can’t touch that stuff.”
What?
“Bella, I need to fold that laundry so you won’t do it. You’re supposed to be resting.” I tried to use a stern voice but it was impossible.
“Forget it.” She blushed. “Okay. It’s like this, I wouldn’t feel comfortable if you fold my underwear.” She whispered the last word.
She is so shy and sweet.
There’s no way I’m not sneaking a peek at that underwear before I leave.
She did allow me to put clean sheets on her bed, but I was forbidden from touching the laundry basket. After making her bed, I coaxed her back to the sofa.
As soon as she got up for a ‘bathroom break’, I ran to her room and practically dove into the basket.
Whoa. Who would have known that sweet innocent Bella was really a little vixen?
There were satin thongs in every color, lacey boy shorts, some sheer, some with flowers or hearts or even polka dots on them. All sexy as hell. Then I saw them, the holy grail of panties.
Bella owned a pair of cotton Little Mermaid underpants. I couldn’t believe they made those for grown women.
They are sure as hell going home with me.
I am a pervert. A demented pervert. A demented stalking pervert asshole.
I shoved the panties in my pocket.
Luckily, I made it back to Bella’s sofa just as she was emerging from the bathroom, dressed to go to the studio.
We sat on the sofa a while longer, talking about the New Year’s Eve party Emmett was throwing, when the doorbell rang.
“Bella, don’t move, I’ll get that.” I said as I jumped up to answer it.
“Yes sir” she answered, quite sarcastically I noticed.
My heart sank to my feet when I opened that door to find Chief Charlie Swan on the other side. He looked surprised for a split second, and then angry. “What are you doing answering my daughter’s door? And where is Bella?”
Of all the people that could have been on the other side of that door, it had to be Bella’s father. He was pissed, and he was armed.
If he had even an indication that I’d been stalking his daughter, I had no doubt that there would be a bullet in that gun with my name on it. Make that two bullets if he finds out I’ve got Bella’s underpants in my pocket.
“Dad, I’m right here.” Bella called from the sofa. Chief Swan walked swiftly over to her and sat down.
In my seat.
“How are you doing baby, Rose called and told me what happened, so I drove right out here.”
“I’m fine. Edward was keeping me company before we have to leave for the TV station.” I could tell she was trying to smooth things over with her dad.
Chief Swan narrowed his eyes at me.
Please. Don’t. Shoot. Me.
“Dad, you didn’t need to come all this way, I just had a slight concussion.”
“Bells, I was coming tomorrow anyway. I just had Mark take over things a day early.” He was still glaring at me.
“Dad, I’d like you to meet Edward Masen. Edward this is my father Charlie Swan.”
Time to pull out the Edward Masen charm.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you sir, Bella’s told me a lot about you.”
He shook my hand, but didn’t change his facial expression. “Well that makes one of us.”
Bella glared at him. “Come on Dad, we have to leave for the station. We’ll have a talk about this later.”
Sidney was waiting downstairs. He drove all three of us to the TV station. Emmett and Rose went in their own vehicle, because they were picking up Rose’s parents from the airport later.
I wonder how long Bella’s Dad is going to be in town? He creeps me out more than Colonel Whitlock.
--V&V--
The last part of the interview with Rosalie went amazingly well.
Rose is very good at her job. I think I’ll mention her name to a couple of television producers I know. They’re always looking for new talent.
When Rose asked about my ‘future’, my gaze wandered to where Isabella was seated beside her father and brother.
There’s my future, right over there.
The minute the interview was over, I walked over to Bella.
“We’ll see you later, we’ve got to get to the airport.“ Rose said before she left.
“See you tomorrow Bella and Dad. Later, Edward.“ Emmett gave us all a smile and a wink before leaving with Rose.
“Dad, can you wait here for one moment, I’ll be right back.” Bella said quietly to her father.
“Edward, can you come with me?“ She took my hand, leading me toward her desk.
“Edward, can you wait to come over until about seven?”
“Of course Bella. I’m assuming you need a little time to speak with your father?”
“Exactly.” She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
I gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll see you then. Goodbye beautiful.”
Bella giggled and gave me a hug before I walked away.
I had mixed feelings about leaving without her. I so desperately wanted to be with Bella, but her father’s constant glare was wearing on my nerves.
--V&V--
Back at the suite, I had showered and changed into my jeans as I waited for six-thirty to get there.
Hell if I was really waiting until seven.
At six-twenty my phone rang.
Alice
“Hello.”
“Hi Edward. How are you doing?” She asked, concerned.
“I’ve been better. Chief Swan probably hates me.”
She chuckled at that. “I don’t think he hates you Edward, he doesn’t even know you. Look, Emmett and I have been talking about this. He wants to speak with you.”
“Okay.”
“Hey Eddie.” Emmett boomed in my ear.
Geeze he’s loud.
“Hi Emmett. Are you guys still in the airport?”
“No, we’re just waiting for the Whitlocks to get their shit together so we can go to the restaurant. I’m fucking starving.”
“Oh I see.” Was my brilliant reply.
“Anyway, I saw you struggling earlier with the Chief.” He continued. “I like you Eddie, more importantly Bella likes you, so I’m going to give you a little advice.”
Honestly, I was glad to hear it. I needed all the help I could get at this point.
“Pops is struggling partly because Bella’s never had a boyfriend, and this was a shock to his system. The other part is that he’s terrified you’re going to hurt her. He’s not stupid, he knows your reputation. I don’t think Pops could handle it if Bella falls back into a depression.”
“I would never hurt her Emmett.” I defended.
“Hey, I have faith in you Eddie. I think you love her. Also, I think you know that I’d fuck you up if you did hurt her.” He laughed.
Somehow I couldn’t bring myself to be amused.
“Anyway, my advice is just to ‘ride it out’ with Pops. If you try too hard, he’ll eat you alive. Just be yourself. Eventually he’ll come around. Especially after he has to put up with you and Bella making goo goo eyes at each other. He’ll get that you two are in love. It’ll just take a while.”
“Okay, well thanks Emmett.” I meant it. I’d been giving myself a pep talk, trying to think of ways to impress the Chief, but according to Emmett that was the wrong thing to do.
We said our goodbyes, and I headed over to Bella’s apartment.
The evening was a nightmare. Nothing I did seemed to please the Chief, from my choice of adult beverage to my chosen profession.
Bella almost got my ass killed when she told me the story of her dad and brother’s camping trip. I could feel the Chief’s glare on me as I escaped to the bathroom in order to laugh my ass off in private.
I felt a glimmer of hope when he mentioned how enamored of Clint Eastwood he was.
“What a coincidence. Clint asked me to be in a film with him, we start work in September. Parts of it will be filmed right here in Seattle. If you were interested in meeting him I could set it up.”
Would that be considered ‘sucking up’?
The Chief sat there with a stunned look on his face. He didn’t move for one solid minute. I was just going to ask Bella if he’d ever exhibited this sort of behavior before when his eyes darted to mine.
His face took on an awed expression as he spoke. “Well now, um, well, that sounds good. Yeah, you set that up Edward. Anytime. You name the time and place and I’ll be there. Just let me know. Do you need my cell number? How about the house phone number? Oh Hell, just give me your cell I’ll program them all into it, including the police station. They can usually get in touch with me 24/7.”
What the hell just happened? Was Clint Eastwood the key to a successful relationship with Chief Swan? Hell, I’d make a movie with Chuck Norris if it made him like me.
Chief Swan changed his entire demeanor. I was stunned, and really couldn’t speak for a while. I didn’t need to, because Chief Swan seemed content to listen to the sound of his own voice.
I chanced a glance at Bella and saw that she was sitting there with her mouth hanging open, looking as stunned as I felt.
After a while, I had relaxed enough to join in the conversation. I found out that ’Charlie’, that was the name he insisted I use, was a big fan of my action film The Last Straw.
Good to know.
I really don’t know how long we sat there, but I knew it was getting late. Suddenly, I noticed that Bella was gone. She must have slipped away to bed.
Damn it, I wanted to say goodnight to her.
Soon after that, Charlie got quiet as he studied me. “Edward, I’m going to ask you some questions. I want the truth. Remember I have a lot of years in as a cop, and I can read faces. I’ll know if you’re lying.”
Oh hell.
“One of my deputies told me a curious story of pulling someone over on Christmas night. Evidently, he was bored and pulled the car for reasons I never would have.”
I think I may possibly be on the verge of shitting myself. It’s never happened before, but there’s a first time for everything.
“Like I sad, Mark was bored. He told me that the guy claimed to be visiting Forks because his girlfriend lived there. Then he told me the guy looked just like the actor Edward Masen, but the name on his license was Cullen. I had a hard time believing him because Mark‘s got quite an imagination. You‘d have to go fishing with him to understand. But now, I‘m not so sure he was imagining things.”
Charlie’s eyes bored into my soul as he spoke.
I. Am. A. Dead. Man.
“First question. Were you in Forks on Christmas night?”
Oh fuck, how do I answer that?
I don’t have any option other than the truth. I hope my funeral is nice.
I hung my head in shame. “Yes sir.”
“Uh hum. Second question. What is the name on your driving permit?”
Would it be too much to have one of those New Orleans style funerals? Horse-draw hearse and all that shit.
“Edward Cullen sir.” I couldn’t look at him.
“I see. Third question. Did Bella know you were there?”
Flowers, lots of flowers. Especially lilacs, Bella smells like lilacs. Can they get lilacs this time of year, and are they an appropriate flower for funerals?
“No sir, she did not. She still doesn‘t.” I answered while staring down at the coffee table.
“Hmm. Eyes up here boy, you won’t find the answers down there. Last question. At that time, was Bella really your girlfriend, or were you just stalking her?”
I bet Alice will design a really classy suit to have me buried in. I hope it’s not black, that would be so boring.
I looked into his eyes. “I’m in love with your daughter, she wasn’t my girlfriend at that time. I’m sad to admit that, yes, I stalked her.”
Charlie cocked his head to the side and pursed his lips as he studied my face.
“Alright then. We never had this conversation.” He stated simply, and then continued talking about sports and movies, just as before. He even invited me to go fishing with him the first time Bella takes me to Forks.
I couldn’t believe it. He didn’t shoot me.
Well, fuck me.
It was getting pretty late and I knew I’d have to leave soon. I just couldn’t bring myself to go before seeing Bella one more time. When Chief Swan went to the bathroom, I quietly snuck into Bella’s bedroom.
I could see her sound asleep, the Seattle lights shining dimly through her window. She looked like an angel. I bent down and softly kissed her cheek. She breathed deeply and whispered “Edward” I froze “love you.” My heart skipped a beat as I realized she was talking in her sleep.
“I love you too Beautiful Bella” I breathed.
When the Chief returned to the living room, I told him goodbye. He allowed me to say goodnight to Bella through her bedroom door. I smiled wryly to myself.
Little does he know that I already said goodnight, and stole a kiss as well.
Before I left, the Chief had a few parting words. “Edward, I like you kid. I won’t lie, I was ready to kick your ass earlier. But I figured, if Clint likes you, then I’m willing to give you a chance.”
“See you tomorrow son.”
I walked to the elevator in a daze.
Son. He called me son.
**************************************************************************
Chapter 9 - Resolutions For The New Year I woke with a start the next morning. No sexy dreams filled my night this time. No dreams of Isabella lying beneath me as I kissed her soft pale skin. Instead, I had been plagued all night long with nightmares. These weren’t my usual nightmares though, the ones where I was locked up in a cell, with nothing but my self-loathing to keep me company. These nightmares involved Isabella.
In every one, I could see her, but couldn’t seem to reach her. There were too many people blocking my path. I literally had to wade through a sea of human bodies to get to her, and every time I got close, she slipped through my fingers. When I stopped to look at the people impeding my progress I saw paparazzi with their cameras in hand, I saw studio executives, I even saw Meghan standing in the crowd attempting to stop me from reaching the woman I loved. Just before I reached Isabella the last time, I heard Tanya’s voice ’Edward, stop. The life you built, the one you worked so hard for, is in California, not with her.’
Those words are what catapulted me into wakefulness. I’d never considered Tanya to be an obstacle to my future happiness, but my subconscious obviously felt otherwise. Fear started to eat away at the edge of my reason as I considered that Tanya may not be agreeable to ending our ’relationship’. After all, she’d been the one that enjoyed, almost reveled it seemed, in the attention it generated.
I decided that I needed to phone her before I left for home on Monday.
Okay, seeing that it’s only eight a.m., I’ll be sure to phone her later.
Instead of dwelling on the dream, I decided to go work out in the fitness room. On my way downstairs, I received a text from Alice.
Brother dear-
We’re having brunch at the Fairmont at 11am, with the Whitlocks. Bella will be there. Do you want us to pick you up?
-Ali
I sent a quick response.
Ali-
Thanks, that would be great. See you at 10:30?
-E
She immediately responded.
Edward-
10:30 is good. See you then.
-Ali
After my workout, I decided to phone Isabella. To my surprise, her Dad answered.
“Hi Edward, how are you this morning?” Charlie said. There was no hint of anger or even annoyance in his voice as he spoke to his daughter’s admitted stalker.
“I’m good Charlie. Is Bella around?” I asked politely.
“She’s in the shower. Been in there a while, I’m pretty sure she’ll be out soon.”
Oh shit, don’t envision Bella in the shower. Stop. Don’t picture her lathered up, with water cascading over her shoulders, running in rivulets down over her perfect brea…
“You still there Edward?” Charlie’s voice pulled me immediately from my inappropriate mental images of his daughter.
“Oh yeah, I guess I can call her later. I just worked out so a shower sounds like a good idea.”
A very cold shower. Happy fucking New Year to me.
“Oh, here she comes now Edward.” Charlie said suddenly.
My mind, which had been racing since I’d awoken from that disturbing dream, immediately calmed when I heard Isabella’s soft voice come on the line.
“Hello Edward.” She said sweetly.
It had only been a few hours since I’d seen her sleeping, but I missed her terribly already. I also felt guilty that I’d spent so much time with her Dad, I hope she knew that I’d rather have spent the time with her.
“Hello Bella. I just wanted to apologize for last night. I didn’t mean to ignore you. It’s just that I really wanted your Dad to like me. I’m glad he seems to.” I tried to explain my behavior.
“That’s an understatement Edward. I think he’s ready to either adopt you or become your blood brother. And I’m not upset, it’s just kind of surreal.”
I laughed. “You’re telling me, one minute I was sure he hated my guts, and the next he was inviting me fishing whenever you and I go to Forks.”
Even after he found out about my stalking tendencies.
I glanced at the time, and realized I still needed that shower. “I guess I’d better let you get ready.” I sighed, not wanting to end the call. “I’ll see you soon. I love you Bella.”
“I love you too.”
--V&V--
We arrived at the Fairmont a few minutes before eleven. Mrs. Whitlock was trying to manage the seating at the table like a fucking drill sergeant.
She tried to place me next to her husband, but after some quick maneuvering on my part, I ended up seated with Alice to my left, and an empty seat, Isabella’s, to my right.
A moment later the Swans arrived, although I only had eyes for one member of their party. Isabella looked happy and carefree as she walked toward me, her face glowing.
Before I realized what had happened, the Chief charged past Bella and dropped down into the vacant chair beside me. I was flabbergasted, and very annoyed. I had so looked forward to sitting beside Bella, I yearned to be close to her again. On the other hand, I still needed her father to like me, so this would have to be a ‘working lunch’.
I heard Emmett guffaw loudly, does he do anything quietly?, as he pulled Isabella to a seat beside him, directly across from me.
I mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ to Bella, what else could I say?
The chief turned out to be quite talkative, and as much as I wished to have Bella beside me, I was at least grateful that Charlie’s conversation gave me the opportunity to tune out Jasper’s mother. That woman never shut up.
I had only met her a couple of times before, the most recent being at Alice and Jasper’s wedding. I came away from that event positive that this woman didn’t like anyone. She never said anything nice about a single soul.
I wasn’t sure how Jasper, Rose, or even Alice were able to stand her. She was the polar opposite of my own mother, who always tried to find the good in people.
“So, when are you heading back to California Edward?” Charlie asked.
“I need to fly back Monday, I have some meetings to attend.”
“I see. About your next film?” He asked.
“Yes, I start filming soon.” I said as I glanced toward Isabella, she was listening intently to Mrs. Whitlock prattle on.
“That’s not the movie with Clint?” Charlie asked with a furrowed brow.
“No, we don’t start filming that until September.” I answered as I watched Isabella distractedly.
Charlie cleared his throat and then said quietly. “You know Edward, my Bella’s a beautiful girl.”
I nodded, unable to take my eyes off of her. “Yes she is.”
“She is the light of my life. Well, both my children make me proud, but Bella will always be my little girl.” I finally turned my head toward the Chief. He was looking at me with one eyebrow raised.
“I would do anything to protect her.”
Oh shit, I think that was a warning. “I understand sir.”
Charlie narrowed his eyes. “Do you?”
I nodded energetically.
“I know I said I’d give you a chance, and I’m not going back on my word. Just know this.” He said as he lowered his voice almost to a whisper. “If you harm her, I will find you, and I always keep my gun loaded.”
Fuckity fuck fuuuck. He scares me.
“You have my word Charlie. I will never intentionally hurt Bella. She means the world to me.”
His frown softened as he nodded his head thoughtfully. “Just so we’re clear.”
We both turned our attention back toward the conversation at the table.
“Jasper and Rose, I spoke with Nana Whitlock on the phone this morning. I believe she’s starting to lose it.” Mrs. Whitlock was blathering on again.
Does this woman even stop to eat? You couldn’t prove it by me, I haven’t seen her take one bite. Although, my attention was somewhat drawn away when Chief Swan talked about shooting my ass.
“She actually asked me how Francis was doing. At first I thought she was referring to your father, since his name is Frank. Although no one would call him Francis unless they had a death wish.” Colonel Whitlock was another scary fucker.
“Then I realized that she was asking about you Jasper.” Jasper groaned. I laughed to myself as I remembered how Jasper hated his first name.
Mrs. Whitlock turned toward Bella to explain. “You see Bella, Jasper’s name is actually Francis Jasper. Like a lot of Southern families we call our son by his middle name.”
Emmett turned out to be just as effective as Christopher in the ‘making Jasper feel uncomfortable’ department. He tortured Jasper for the rest of the meal.
Alice and I were cracking up. Jasper just looked constipated.
I went back to talking with Charlie about the World War II movie I was about to start filming. I glanced over at Bella to find her watching us. I couldn’t help but smile at her. She studied me with the strangest look on her beautiful face.
“Bella, what are you thinking about?” I asked.
The blush I loved so much suddenly appeared. “I was just thinking about Rear Ends, ugh, um, I mean September Ends.”
What? No way was Bella thinking about my ass. Wishful thinking on my part.
It would only be fair to return the favor and think about hers.
Immediately my body started responding to that possibility.
Shit. Not with The Chief sitting right next to me. He’d probably have no qualms about cutting off any dick pointing in the direction of his daughter.
Thankfully Emmett distracted me. “Oh, I saw that movie. Kind of a little different than your usual Edward.”
“Yes, I really wanted to work with that director, so I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.” I said as I willed my semi-erection into submission, and took a sip of my coffee.
“It was a good flick. And from one guy to another, but in a non-homosexual kind of way, you got a nice ass.”
I spit coffee all over myself to avoid choking on it. I could hear Alice and Jasper chuckling beside me.
I heard Bella giving her brother shit. “Stop it Emmett.”
“What? It was a compliment. I’d even consider doing a movie if I could have my stellar ass shown to people all around the world.” Emmett grinned.
“Is that the goal you’re working toward Emmett? Because as it is now, you ‘show your ass’ in public daily.” We all joined Bella as she laughed.
--V&V--
I reluctantly left Bella and returned to my hotel to get ready for the evening. Before they dropped me off, Alice made sure to remind me to wear my black suit.
“I know for a fact that Bella is going to be drop dead gorgeous tonight Edward, so you need to look spectacular.” Alice teased.
“She always looks gorgeous Alice.” I replied, which caused my sister and her husband to grin from ear to ear.
“I like this look on you Edward.” Alice said as she tilted her head to one side, studying me.
“What do you mean Alice? I’m not even dressed yet.”
She giggled. “Not your clothes silly.” Then she patted my cheek. “Love”. She laughed again. “See you this evening.”
I smiled as they drove away.
Bella had told me all about how Emmett planned to propose to Rosalie. It was going to be an extravagant affair. Evidently that was exactly what Rose liked.
I got the impression from Bella that her tastes ran in a much simpler vein.
Supposedly, Rose knew nothing about it. Emmett was planning on surprising her. Knowing Rose for the short time I did, I was extremely skeptical that Emmett would be able to pull this off. On the other hand, he’d known her a long time, and if anyone could do it, it would be him.
All of that mattered very little to me. I only cared that I got to spend time with my Beautiful Bella, hopefully without her father’s interference this time.
I was dressed and ready to go an entire hour before I needed to leave for Bella’s. As much as I would have liked to get there early, it would not do for Rose to accidentally glimpse me in my suit going into Bella’s apartment.
As far as she was concerned, Bella and I were spending a quiet New Years Eve with the Chief.
I had an hour to kill before I needed to dress for this evening. I tried to call Tanya, but was greeted by her voicemail.
“Hey Tanya, it’s Edward. I was hoping to speak with you, but, no matter. It’s really important that we talk when I get back to L.A. on Monday. I’ll try to reach you later to set up a time. Thanks.”
After grabbing a beer from the fridge, I settled on the sofa with my guitar and played, all my thoughts preoccupied with Bella as I sang.
.
A long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving, Now the days go by so fast
.
It dawned on me that for the first time in my adult life, I did have a reason to be optimistic. Bella. This new year would be better than the last because I’d found Bella.
.
And it's one more day up in the canyons, And it's one more night in Hollywood.
If you think that I could be forgiven, I wish you would.
.
The thought of going back to my home without her was starting to gnaw at my insides.
.
The smell of hospitals in winter, And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls.
All at once you look across a crowded room to see the way that light attaches to a girl.
And it's one more day up in the canyons, And it's one more night in Hollywood.
If you think you might come to California...I think you should
.
On the one hand I dreaded leaving her, but on the other I was anxious to resolve my ‘Tanya’ issue, get through my meetings, and come back here. After I confessed everything to Bella, we’d be able to begin a relationship in earnest.
.
Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m., And talked a little while about the year.
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her.
And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last….
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself to hold on to these moments as they pass.
And it's one more day up in the canyon, And it's one more night in Hollywood.
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean...I guess I should.
.
My single New Year’s resolution would be to make myself worthy of Bella’s love.
--V&V--
Soon after I knocked on Bella’s door, it flew open. She was a vision in her little black dress. She immediately said hello by throwing her arms around my neck.
“Wow, if I leave and come back can I get the same greeting again?” I teased.
“You’re not going anywhere Mister.” I’d never seen her this happy.
We took a moment to admire one another. “You look so lovely Bella.”
Emmett had spared no expense. The ballroom was magnificent. I had just enough time to get drinks for Isabella and I before we were signaled that the happy couple was arriving.
It was quite a show. Rose and Emmett both seemed to love the spotlight, they were well suited for each other. I felt my mind start to wander as to what kind of proposal Isabella would like.
Really? We’ve know each other less than two weeks.
It didn’t matter, I knew where my feelings for her would eventually lead. It was inevitable.
Jasper had proposed to Alice at the Eiffel Tower. Paris is, of course, Alice’s favorite city, so Jasper, knowing her well, had planned the perfect proposal. She gushed about it for weeks afterward.
For the rest of the evening, I couldn’t take my eyes off of Isabella. I also felt the need to keep my arms around her as much as possible. It didn’t matter that I was certain several of the people attending the party would be taking photos that would end up in the gossip rags within a few days. All that mattered was that I got to hold her in my arms.
Mom and Dad were there, but I didn’t see much of them. Every time I glanced in their direction, they were either deep in conversation with Chief Swan, or dodging Mrs. Whitlock’s attempts to monopolize them.
My mother really couldn’t stand Mrs. W.
At one point, Rosalie dragged Bella off for some private conversation. I stood there alone, just wishing she’d hurry back to me.
I felt an arm drape around my shoulders, and turned to see a very tipsy Jasper grinning at me. “Quite a night huh?“
Returning his smile I said “Yes, the most unusual proposal I’ve probably ever heard of.” I chuckled.
“But it was so Rose. I’m beginning to believe that Emmett knows her better than anyone. Even better than Rose knows herself. I’m really happy for them.” He looked at me. “I’m happy for you too Edward. You deserve to finally have found someone.” He paused as he looked around the room. “Hell, I’m happy for myself. Your sister is the best thing in my life. Sometimes Edward, I can’t believe she loves me as much as she does, that she actually agreed to marry me. You know, I’m still stunned that she agreed to our first date all those years ago.” He laughed.
Suddenly he was distracted by something across the room. I followed his line of vision to see Alice had been cornered by Mrs. Whitlock. “Well, I’d better go rescue my wife from my mother. Wish me luck.” He grinned and walked away.
Aside from the times she danced with Charlie and Emmett, Isabella and I danced the rest of the evening away. I felt the need to keep my arms around her. Truth be told, I was dreadfully afraid that if I let go, I would miss my chance to have her in my arms at midnight.
During our last dance of the old year, I held her close. “Isabella, would you see the new year in with me?”
“I don’t know Mr. Masen, that guy over there was giving me the eye, don’t you think he’s kind of hot?” She said as she pointed at some middle-aged bald guy with a paunch.
She never ceases to amuse me.
I laughed out loud. “Isabella, you are the most interesting person I’ve ever met. So unpredictable.”
Just then the countdown began…10.…9.…..8.….7.….6
“I love you Bella.”
5.……4.…..3.….
“I love you Edward.”
2.….1.…..
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!”
“Happy New Year my love.” And then I pulled her into a searing kiss. The electricity always present during our kisses was more intense than ever before. Knowing we loved each other made this New Years kiss even more meaningful.
I knew we were being watched, but as we kissed the rest of the world fell away, and there was only Isabella. And she was mine.
We finally broke apart when I sensed someone standing close beside us.
Emmett.
“Sorry Ed, gotta give my little sis a New Year’s kiss.” I wanted to growl at him, but he was Bella’s brother. He kissed her on the cheek, and wished us both a Happy New Year, followed soon after by Chief Swan and Rose.
I sought out my family and wished them all a Happy New Year and a goodnight.
This had been a memorable evening after a very long day. I could sense Isabella’s exhaustion, and we soon left in order to take her and Charlie home.
I said goodbye at her apartment door. “Will I see you tomorrow Bella?”
“Aren’t you tired of me yet Mr. Masen?” She can’t really believe that.
“Not by a long shot. I want to spend all my time with you.” I answered sincerely.
“Come over tomorrow afternoon, I’m cooking dinner for New Year’s. Although we’ll probably eat in Emmett and Rose’s dining room because it’s a lot bigger than mine.”
“I have to go to Church in the morning. It’s a Holy Day.” She added.
“Oh?” I couldn’t seem to keep up with the Catholic calendar. “What Holy Day?”
Bella chuckled. “It’s Emmett’s favorite, the Feast of the Circumcision.”
What? But I guess it makes sense, seeing that Jesus was born into the Jewish faith.
Isabella must have noticed my puzzled expression. “Yeah, I know, if you’re not a Catholic, it’s hard to understand. Just be glad you’re not going to Church with us, Emmett is sure to be on his worst behavior.”
I laughed when I thought about how much fun Emmett probably had with this particular Holy Day. Then I thought about what she said.
I’d love to go to church with her.
“I’d go to Church with you Bella, like I said I want to spend every day with you.”
“Maybe another time Edward. Trust me you don’t want it splattered all over the tabloids that Edward Masen is turning Catholic. I think we need to go on that date first.” She winked.
She really didn’t understand that I didn’t give a shit what the tabloids wrote about me.
“I can’t wait Miss Swan.” I smiled and kissed her goodbye.
“I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow.” I told her.
“I love you too, goodbye Edward.”
The perfect words to end a perfect evening.
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So....I LOVED hearing what Edward was thinking. I think you should post this on TWCS as an outtake. I think you may get more traffic and reaction!!
ReplyDeleteGreat job....I do feel sorry for the "nice" ones in hollywood. I wonder how much is really the truth or just a personality hollywood puts on them; even when they pretend to be not hollywood.
I think I'll tweak it a little and then probably post it on fanfic and TWCS. I've already got chapter 2 almost ready to go.
ReplyDelete