“What happened? I didn’t think you’d be done for a couple more days.”
“I finished my scenes late last night. I’ve had my bag packed for two days hoping this would happen. I hired a private plane to fly me up here early this morning.”
He looked exhausted.
Emmett walked over and shook Edward’s hand. “Hey Andy, how’s it going?” Edward looked at him with a puzzled expression.
“I’m very happy to see you Edward“, I said as I glared at my brother, “but you look exhausted. You need to get some sleep.” I grabbed his hand and led him out of the gym.
I left Edward sleeping in my room, and headed to class, hoping he’d forget about Emmett’s stupid ‘sex dream’ question.
Who the hell am I kidding? I would never be that lucky.
Coincidentally, at that exact moment I received a text message from Rose.
B-
Emmett is an ass, but he says he’s sorry. Promises not to ever mention ‘it’ again. Although he won’t tell me what ‘it’ is.
He made me send this because he thought you’d ignore his messages. Love you sweetie.
-R
Well that’s a first. Emmett is actually sorry for embarrassing me, and didn’t blab my business to Rose. This may be a sign of the coming Apocalypse.
That made me feel a little better, although I’d still have to explain to Edward, if he asks.
Edward was waiting in the hall outside my last class of the day. I couldn’t believe the marked difference from the last time he was here. The hateful glares from women and men had multiplied.
I am actually a little afraid for Edward’s safety.
“Edward, this was a bad idea, you shouldn’t have come here.” I whispered as we made our way quickly to my car. “This is going to cause you problems.”
“I don’t give a shit what they do to me Bella, but I don’t want anyone to mess with you. I wasn’t even thinking. These people view me as Tanya’s baby daddy, and now I’m here with you….good God the hostility is rolling off of them in waves.”
By this time we were leaving the parking lot. A small crowd had gathered around to watch us go.
“That was scary. I don’t want you going anywhere else without a bodyguard.” I demanded.
“Okay, but I need to make sure you’re safe too. Has anyone bothered you since the pregnancy story broke?”
“No, Edward. It’s been fine.” I lied.
He’s so overprotective. It’s not like those women grabbed me or anything.
“Tanya finally returned my calls.” He said.
Wow, that’s good news. I think.
“What did she say?” I was anxious to hear.
“She said that’s she’s working on her statement. Her lawyer is advising her. She asked that I give her another week.”
“What did you say?” I asked.
“I got pissed, she started crying. I apologized, then she apologized too, saying she understood my anger, but she needed to protect herself and her baby.”
“The pregnancy wasn’t supposed to be made public until later, she‘s an emotional mess. She’s bracing herself for the fallout from her fans over all the lies.”
“Do you think it will be bad?” I wondered.
“I really don’t know. Fans are so fickle. They can love you one moment, hate you the next, but also be very forgiving. It’s a weird dynamic.”
“I told her I’d give her the week. If she doesn’t do anything by then Bella, Jasper’s going to tip off the reporters about her and Felix’s marriage. It would be easy for them to get a copy of the marriage certificate.”
“I think she’ll do the right thing, she’s now aware that I’m not backing down.” He added.
“Edward, it will be okay. Always remember that we’ve both lived through worse.” Truer words were never spoken.
--V&V--
That night, as I lay in Edward’s arms, I pondered the reasons that I was having a difficult time moving toward any kind of ‘physical’ relationship with him.
I knew that my heart and every other part of me completely belonged to Edward, there would never be anyone else. But as long as the Tanya situation remained unresolved, I would never feel that Edward truly belonged to me.
It was silly. Hadn’t he told me countless time how much he loved me? Hadn’t he proven it again and again through his words and his actions?
In my dreams, I was obviously ready for a sexual relationship with Edward. But in the stark glare of my waking hours, I was a nervous wreck. Couple that with Catholic guilt over going too far way too fast and voila, you have insecure little Bella Swan.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“Bella you have nothing to apologize for.” He tried to soothe.
I felt terrible because I’d just put the kibosh on getting a little too physical.
We had been in the midst of a hot and heavy make out session with Edward’s hand traveling under my shirt northward. When he grazed my bare breast, I gasped and placed my hand over his, effectively stopping it’s movement.
“Bella, forgive me, I got carried away.”
“No Edward, I like it when you get carried away. I’m just….argh. I don‘t know.”
After that we settled comfortably into each other’s arms.
Suddenly, I remembered my dream, and realized we’d been very close to acting it out. Not thinking, I chuckled.
He looked at me questioningly. “What?”
I cleared my throat, glad that it was too dark for him to see the blush on my face. “Nothing, just thinking about how goofy my brother is.”
Edward thought for a minute. “Yeah, speaking of Emmett, and knowing that I’ll probably regret asking but, why exactly does your brother keep calling me Andy?”
I sighed. “It’s because of Andy Stitzer.”
“Who?” Edward had no clue.
“Edward, Andy Stitzer is the name of Steve Carell’s character in the for-”
“The 40 year old Virgin.” Edward groaned out. “I should have seen that one coming.”
“Sorry, Emmett lives to embarrass himself and others.” I grinned.
“By the way.” Edward was smirking now. “What was that Emmett mentioned about a sex dream?”
Crap, crap, crap! How can I talk my way out of this one. I fail at life.
“Wipe that smirk off your face right now Edward Cullen. Emmett was just teasing me about my sleep-talking.” That was all he was going to get out of me.
“Well, maybe I’ll be lucky enough to get a ‘repeat performance’.” He grinned wickedly as he pulled me close and spooned against me.
--V&V--
Sometime overnight, I’m assuming the photos of us together again, hit the internet.
I was persona non grata at school. Even a couple of my professors were rude to me.
Good grief, how can Edward and Tanya’s nonexistent relationship mean so much to people. They must spend their lives living vicariously through celebrities. How sad.
I went to the Hub to get lunch. Since it was cold and rainy, I decided not to eat in my car. I almost changed my mind however, when I felt the hostile glares on me once again as I searched for an empty table.
Luckily two girls that I’d been friendly with last semester had pity on me. They’d been in a couple classes with me, and we’d even partnered on some class projects together. I hadn’t seen them since Christmas.
“Come sit with us Bella. There are too many jerks butting into your business.” Tara said with a comforting smile as she led me to the table where Joanna was already sitting.
I thanked them both. “Not a problem Bella.” Joanna said. “Listen, Tara and I have been talking about this. We like you Bella, and we don’t believe the garbage that’s being said. I’ve stopped reading anything about it.”
“Me too. We were your friends before all this, so don’t worry, we’ve got your back.” Tara added.
I was overwhelmed with emotion. I had tried to remain stoic about the public reaction to my relationship with Edward for so long, that I didn’t realize how much it really did hurt my feelings. No one enjoys being hated. I could feel my eyes filling up with tears. These girls didn’t know me well, but were willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.
“Thank you both …so much. It means a lot that you wouldn’t judge me by those lies.” I said as the tears escaped down my cheeks.
“Hey now, Bella, it’s okay.” Joanna patted my hand. “Even though we don’t have class together this semester, we’d still like to hang out with you. You don’t need to be dealing with all this alone.”
Joanna and Tara walked me to my next class, and we all agreed to meet after my last class of the day. They lived in the dorms, but wanted to see me safely to my car. I was filled with gratitude for my new friends.
The best part was that they never once asked about Edward, leaving it up to me to decide when and what to tell them.
By the time my classes were over, my good mood of last week had returned. Remembering that Edward would be waiting for me at home didn’t hurt either. We chatted happily on the way to parking lot until I saw a sight that froze me in my tracks.
Someone had slashed my tires and keyed the paint on my door, spelling out the word ’SLUT’ in large letters. My car wasn’t worth a lot, but it was mine. I had worked summers and after school back in Forks until I finally had enough to buy it, used. I’d had it for over three years, it had gotten me to and from class and, when necessary, home to Forks.
It made me sad that someone would hate me enough to do something like that. It hurt, but I forced my emotions to remain in check.
Mechanically, I pulled my cell phone from my backpack, but realized that my hands were shaking too badly to call anyone.
Tara took the phone “Who do you want me to call Bella?” she asked.
I can’t let Edward know about this over the phone.
“I .. I guess my brother, Emmett.” Tara found Emmett’s number and pressed send.
“Yeah, hello, Emmett? Hi, I’m a friend of Bella’s from school. Um, she needs to speak with you.” Tara handed the phone to me.
“Em, can you come get me from school?” I asked.
“What’s going on Bells? Are you having car trouble?” Emmett asked.
“My car got vandalized. Um, I can’t drive it, a couple of the tires were slashed.”
“Son of a bitch! Do you have any idea who would do that?”
“No Em, just come here and we’ll talk about it then. I guess I have to call the police too.” I answered softly.
“I’m on my way Bells.”
“Oh Emmett, don’t tell Edward, okay?”
“Okay. Can your friend stay with you until I get there?” He asked, worried.
“I think so. See you soon.”
“Bye Bells.”
While I waited, I noticed that a small crowd had formed nearby. Most of the people looked as if they felt sorry for me. But there were a couple of girls that smirked, laughed and made comments just loud enough that I could hear.
Joanna saw me eyeing them. “Don’t worry about them Bella. Tara and I have know two of them for years.” She said smiling.
“Hey Pauline and Amanda, yeah I’m talking to you, whores, move along there’s nothing to see here.” Tara yelled over to two girls that had been rude to me for weeks.
“Yeah, I don’t think you hookers will find any customers here.” Joanna said with a wicked grin.
The girls glared at us before they left.
After I’d dealt with the police and having my car towed, I was finally able to leave. Joanna and Tara had stayed with me the whole time. Joanna grabbed my phone and put their numbers in it for me.
“We’ll see you tomorrow Bella.” They said as they hugged me goodbye.
Now I have to face Edward.
As expected, Edward flipped his shit. He’d already been in touch with Sidney’s company to hire protection for his visits to Seattle, so as of tomorrow, Lou, the guy he hired would be escorting me everywhere.
I attempted to protest, but when Emmett and Chief Swan agreed with him, I surrendered. As of tomorrow, I’d have a bodyguard with me at all times. I did get Edward to agree, reluctantly, that Lou would not follow me to my classrooms.
That evening, Edward and I sat in my living room, each of us working on our laptops. I had a little bit of homework to finish before leaving for L.A. Friday night.
Edward’s mood had become sullen after the car incident. I knew he was brooding. I tried to make light of it. “Edward, it’s only a car. I’ll survive.”
His eyes flashed with anger. “Bella, it could very well have been you that they attacked, can’t you see that? You can’t keep hiding your head in the sand. You need to take this seriously. I didn’t want to show you this, but look.”
He keyed a few things into his laptop and turned the screen toward me.
There, displayed across it, was a blog in which people, a lot of people, were saying how much they hated me, and how the world would be better off without me in it. I wasn’t able to see much beyond that, because my eyes welled up with tears. When Edward noticed the expression on my face, he abruptly closed his laptop.
“Oh God Bella. I’m so, so, sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He moaned as he pulled me to him. “I’ve been so worried, and then when this happened today, I just lost it. Please, please forgive me.” He said as he held me and pressed his face into my neck.
“Edward there’s nothing to forgive, you didn’t write those hurtful words.” I said, pulling myself together. I was determined not to become an emotional wreck. It would just upset Edward more.
The rest of the evening was fairly quiet, and Edward’s sullen mood only improved marginally.
The next day, I met my driver/bodyguard. After talking with Lou on the way to school, I decided I really liked him. He was a very positive, upbeat person. He reminded me a lot of Emmett, minus the farting.
After class, I went to work for a couple of hours to help Rose since I’d be leaving the next day for a week.
Mike Newton steered clear of me, although I wish I could say the same for Camille. When I walked into the break room for coffee, she was sitting there, watching a talk show.
She’s probably supposed to be working, and is in here goofing off. Stupid hag.
“Why hello Bella. I had a feeling you’d be here this afternoon. I recorded something that you’ve just got to see.”
“Camille, I can say with absolute certainty that I’m not interested in anything you’d want to show me.” I said as I grabbed the coffee and started to walk out the door.
I didn’t make it to the hallway before I heard his voice. I wheeled around, completely confused. Then it made sense. Jeff’s voice was coming from the television, it was a clip of an old interview done from his prison a couple years ago.
I can handle this. Camille thinks this will bother me, but I will show her the truth. I can walk away.
Maybe it was morbid curiosity that kept me from leaving, but I found I couldn’t move. The host of the talk show then began to speak:
Good afternoon everyone. The video you just saw was of Jeffrey Dryden. Mr. Dryden is currently serving a life sentence in a prison in Arizona for the rape and murder almost seven years ago of Renee Swan. Renee, if you aren’t aware, was the mother of Isabella Swan, the on again, off again love interest of Edward Masen.
Our reporters have been investigating this story for some time now and hope to shed some light on exactly who Isabella Swan is.
We have discovered that Isabella, who was present during the rape and murder of her mother, and witnessed everything, was herself, injured in the ordeal.
I was horrified. Why was this considered newsworthy?
We have with us today the sister and brother of Jeffrey Dryden. Michelle Thomas and Jason Dryden. Michelle and Jason have agreed to come on the program to give us information about Ms. Swan that, up until now, the general public has not been made aware of.
Before we begin, I must stress that our program and our sponsors are in no way responsible for and do not necessarily agree with, the opinions of our guests, even though some of our viewers may.
Let’s start with you Michelle. We know that your brother and Renee Swan dated when she and Isabella live in Florida. I’m aware that you knew them both at that time. What can you tell us about the Isabella you knew?
Michelle began to speak.
Well, I always felt that that little missy led my brother on, she wanted him. Poor Jeff is sick, he’s not right mentally. Isabella was like that Lolita girl. She made him do crazy things. I don’t think he wanted to kill her mother. She probably wanted her Mother dead, less competition for the men. She’s now got her hooks in Edward Masen and is making him do crazy things like abandoning his baby, she‘s trouble.
I couldn’t listen anymore. I covered my ears with my hands. My peripheral vision disappeared, and all I could see was Jeff’s family before my eyes, their lips spewing lies and venom about me.
I loved my Mother, I didn’t want her dead. Why is this happening to me. I can’t breathe.
I became vaguely aware of Rose screaming at Camille, as she pulled me toward her office. I collapsed in Rose’s arms on her sofa and cried my heart out.
“Honey shhh, we all know you love your Mom.” Rose soothed. “Renee knows you love her. Those lies don’t matter Bella. It’s just a passing thing, it will be forgotten in a few days. Shhh.”
I cried for myself. I cried for my Mom. I cried for the fucked up situation I found myself in. I cried for everything I’d lost. My youth, the chance to have friends in high school, a normal life, being able to share things with my mother, I cried for it all. I cried because people I didn’t even know hated me and wished me harm. I cried at the unfairness of it all.
I don’t know how long we sat there as Rose rocked me, finally calming me. I pulled away from her a little after finally silencing my sobs. I caught movement in the doorway from the corner of my bleary eye. I turned to look and saw Edward standing there with a look of pure agony on his face.
“How long have you been there?” I asked him with a hoarse voice.
“A while.” He answered sadly.
I pulled myself up from the sofa and stood on stiff legs.
Rose then stood and placed her hands on either side of my face. “Bella, listen to me. Nothing anyone says can hurt you. You went through Hell already honey and you survived. You have to live your life, Renee would want nothing less.”
“Look, Edward is going to take you home now. I’ll check on you later okay.” Rose kissed my cheek.
“Thanks Rose.”
Edward walked over and held me for a few minutes, then silently led me to the car. We were quiet on the way home, even Lou didn’t speak. When I had somewhat recovered, I was kicking myself for letting Edward see me fall apart.
Although I didn’t precisely know he was going to show up at the station.
Emmett was waiting in my living room when I got there, immediately pulling me into his warm protective embrace. After I assured him that I was okay, he retreated to his and Rose’s apartment.
Edward and I had a quiet dinner. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep on the sofa shortly after, vaguely aware when Edward carried me to my bed.
My nightmares returned full force that night, and Edward had to calm me more than once.
When I woke up I could barely look him in the eye.
Just great, Edward witnessed my meltdown and my nightmares all within a 12 hour period. I wouldn’t blame him if he ran screaming back to L.A.
I was sitting in the kitchen drinking tea when he came in carrying his suitcase.
I looked at him, puzzled.
In a flat voice, he said “Bella, we need to talk.”
I didn’t like the look on his face. I was only joking when I thought he’d run back to L.A.
What is he thinking?
“Bella, I think it best if I leave early today. It will just make things worse if we fly together tonight.”
He may be right, the paps and the public have been kind of brutal when they’ve seen us together.
“Okay, um, I’d rather fly with you, but I guess if you’re waiting for me when I land, that would be alright.”
“Bella, I’ve decided to go ahead and fly to London as soon as I can. I’m going home to pack my things and head straight out.” He said the words robotically, with no emotion reflected in his voice.
I couldn’t understand why he was saying this.
Yes you do understand Bella. He’s feeling guilty. You have to fix this!
“Edward. Don’t you dare blame yourself for what happened today. Camille is a bitch. She planned that entire incident, and got the reaction she wanted.”
“Bella don’t you realize that if I weren’t in your life, none of this would be happening. The press wouldn’t be hounding you. The park ranger wouldn’t have tried to molest you. Your tires wouldn’t be slashed. Those evil people on the television program would never have gotten their fifteen minutes of fame today! It’s because of me that this is happening. I can’t, I won’t let it continue.”
I began to panic, Edward was going to leave me. “Edward, as soon as Tanya makes her statement everything will be fine, you’ll see. If you want to separate until then, I won’t like it, but I’ll understand. But please, please don’t leave me like this.”
“There will always be something for them to hound you about Bella. They will always bring up your past to hurt you. I can’t risk hurting you any more. If I’m not in your life, they will leave you alone.”
“Edward, you will be the one hurting me if you leave, not them.”
“When I’m gone, you’ll be able to go back to a normal life Bella, that’s all I want for you.“ He stood still as stone. “You should still go to Alice’s, she’s looking forward to it.” He took in a shaky breath. “Lou is taking me to the airport, and he’ll be back to take you to school right after.”
“Edward, the only time I’ve had a normal life is with you. Please stay.” I whispered. I could hear the desperation in my own voice as I clutched onto his arms.
He gently pried my hands loose. “I’m sorry Bella.” he whispered. “I love you.” He kissed my forehead and was gone.
I looked around my kitchen. I then pinched my arm hard to make sure I wasn’t still asleep.
What the fuck just happened? He said he loved me, and then left?
I sat there in a daze for a few moments.
Bella, you knew you’d never be enough for him. Maybe this was just Edward bowing out gracefully. He doesn’t want you any more.
I was just insecure enough to believe that. Almost.
No. No no no. Edward loves me. If I know anything, I know that.
Edward may love me, but he left me anyway. At this thought, I finally gave into the tears, and allowed myself a good cry. After yesterday, I was shocked that I had any tears left to shed.
After crying, I tried to clear my head so that I could think. I had to decide what to do.
Just then my phone beeped with an incoming text.
I am going to kick his stupid ass.
-Alice
The psychic pixie knows.
Rose came to check on me before school. This was unusual. I had a feeling someone tipped her off.
As it turned out, she was unaware of the circumstances of Edward’s departure, all she knew was that he needed to get back to L.A. before tonight. After I relayed the conversation Edward and I had before he left, she was quiet for a while before commenting.
“This might make you angry Bells, but I think Edward may be right.” She must have caught my pissed off look, because she continued quickly. “Not about leaving for good, just about separating for a while. Emmett and I are worried about you too, not to mention Charlie. I think it’s safer for you not to see him until after the Tanya mess is put to rest.”
“I won’t have a choice now Rose, because he’s going straight to London after he gets home today.” I said sadly
I can’t chase him all over the world. Will I ever see him again?
That was the moment that my depression started to take hold. I was faced with the realization that Edward was rich enough to elude me forever. I would never have the financial resources to follow.
If he really didn’t want me in his life, there was nothing I could do about it.
--V&V--
I dragged my sorry butt to class, simply because I couldn’t stand the thought of hanging around my apartment all day.
Tara and Joanna were supportive, but I knew they wondered what was bothering me. They never pressed for an explanation, probably assuming it was still the attack on my car.
That evening, I cried until my eyes were sore from wiping them, as I watched the clock pass the exact hour that I would have been arriving in L.A.
Arriving with Edward.
I slept on the pillow that Edward had used, but even his scent didn’t make me feel better. My nightmares were vivid and exhausting.
I woke up Saturday feeling sorry for myself, and never changing out of my t-shirt and sweats.
My personal pity party that I had scheduled for 1 o’clock that afternoon was interrupted by the ringing of my phone.
Now who the hell is calling?
“Hello.” I answered.
“Bella.. Bella it’s Alice” Her voice breaking with emotion. “I need you to come to L.A. as soon as possible.”
I waited.
“Please Bella you have to come right away, Edward’s been arrested.”
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