Chapter 37 - Lap Dances & Abstinence

Edward turned the engine off and unfastened his seatbelt. Evidently, this was going to take a while. I followed suit and unfastened mine.

He cleared his throat before beginning. He also scrubbed his face with his hands, tugged at his hair, pinched the bridge of his nose, and bit at a fingernail alternately. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see him curl up into the fetal position.

Why is he so freaked out about this?

Chapter 38 - Pool Tables & Revelations

The sound of the smack Rosalie applied to Emmett’s head was music to my ears.

“Emmett, what did you expect Father Pat to say?” Rose asked. “Sure Emmett, continue living in sin with your fiancée, because I know you’re a twenty-eight year old horndog and can’t help yourself ?” Rose said in her best Father Pat voice.

Emmett looked at her incredulously “While the word horndog never entered into my mind, yes I thought he would see reason. I even offered him money.”

Chapter 39 - Creme Eggs & Welcome Distractions

A lot of good it did me to go to Church today, I was pissed off during most of the Mass. I tried to calm down and relax, but every time I caught a glimpse of Emmett’s face, and he smiled, I got pissed all over again.

I could not believe that he as good as told Charlie that Edward was inexperienced.

No way in hell was I going to say the ‘V’ word just now.

Chapter 40 - Some Justice & Escargot

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“Let all of the poisons that lurk in the mud, hatch out.”
                                                   -Robert Graves, Claudius The God
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Geri Chance is, quite possibly, the most evil woman I’ve ever known. I say ‘woman’, because my mother’s murderer will always remain the most evil person I’ve ever known.

Emmett and I were sequestered in a waiting room with several ‘guests’ appearing on today’s show.

As I was to find out later, these ‘guests’ were all victims of or witnesses to, the evil deeds committed by Ms. Geri Chance.

Chapter 41 - Pink Chiffon & Man Skirts

“This is going to be harder than I thought Edward. By the time I get home today, it will be after midnight where you are.” I sighed in frustration.

I was on the phone with Edward during my lunch break at WIRI. We were trying to coordinate times to speak and maybe skype with each other.

“My schedule this week is a little flexible because we don’t start filming until next week. Hopefully we’ll find time to skype. For instance, today was spent with wardrobe and makeup, I was free for the day by two o‘clock. Tomorrow will be more of the same with some rehearsals, I’ll probably be finished by four o’clock at the latest. On Friday, I’m supposed to be getting my military haircut once again.” He sighed.

Chapter 42 - Panty Droppers & Belly Dances

“Panty-droppers all around girls.” Rose said in a raised drunken voice.

It was Saturday night, and we were officially celebrating our ‘girls night out’, club-hopping in downtown Seattle. Aside from Tara and Joanna, Rose had invited a couple of her sorority sisters and soon-to-be bridesmaids, Caitie and Tami.

Lou was also with us, at Edward’s insistence. If he was bothered by having to baby-sit six drunken females, he never showed it.

“I like panty-droppers” I replied, for some reason my words sounded slurred. “Edward’s a panty-dropper” I noticed a couple of the girls choke on their drinks “Well, at least his smile is” I continued.

Chapter 43 - Yellow Carnations & First Class

The next week flew by. Thankfully, my classes were not difficult. Unlike a lot of students, I had taken courses every summer. Most of what I was taking now were electives that I needed to take in order to complete the required credits for graduation.

It gave me a secret satisfaction that my nerdy, bookish ways turned out to be good for something. Now, they enabled me to plan a trip to England without feeling guilty about missing a day of class.

Chapter 44 - Genuflections & Surprises

Several hours into my flight, I could see dawn beginning to peek across a horizon of clouds from my airplane window. We were still hours from landing, so after watching the sun, I forced myself to lie down again and try to sleep.

My nervousness, which I’d tried to stifle for days leading up to the trip, was now in complete control of my mind and body. In all of Alice’s great plans for my surprise visit, and forcing me to go First class in order to be ‘well rested’ when I surprised Edward, she’d never taken into consideration that my nerves would make that impossible.

About three hours before we were due to land, I finally abandoned all thoughts of sleep, and surrendered to the fact that I would be a walking, talking zombie during my first day in London.

Chapter 45 - Bubble Baths & Hell's Kitchen

Edward, sensing that I was in no shape to go out for dinner, ordered it to be delivered to the room. I took a long hot bath while we waited.

I was angry with myself for not being able to sleep on the airplane, because the jet lag was kicking my ass. As I relaxed in the tub full of bubbles, I thought about what I’d like to do in London.

Chapter 46 - Chip Shops & Fairy Lights

And there it was. I should have known this would happen. Emmett practically warned me.

Directly in front of me was a double decker bus, stopped at the traffic light, but that wasn’t what had Crystal so animated. It so happened that on the side of this particular bus was a very large, very prominent Calvin Klein underwear ad. And who should be starring in this ad? None other than my beloved brother and perpetual source of embarrassment, Emmett Swan.

Yes, there he was wearing a pair of white boxers, a transparent red ’X’ superimposed over his chest.