My nervousness, which I’d tried to stifle for days leading up to the trip, was now in complete control of my mind and body. In all of Alice’s great plans for my surprise visit, and forcing me to go First class in order to be ‘well rested’ when I surprised Edward, she’d never taken into consideration that my nerves would make that impossible.
About three hours before we were due to land, I finally abandoned all thoughts of sleep, and surrendered to the fact that I would be a walking, talking zombie during my first day in London.
Stupid Bella.
To aid and abet my temporary insanity, I had the flight attendant keep the coffee, tea and colas coming.
The caffeine can only help right?
The downside to my genius plan was that after about an hour, I realized that if I didn’t go to the bathroom, I was in serious danger of my bladder exploding.
I wonder if when a bladder explodes, it sounds like a bomb?
Shut the hell up Bella…don’t even think the word ‘bomb’ on an airplane. With your luck, you’ll be tackled by an Air Marshall and end up peeing all over him.
No matter how much I had to pee, I couldn’t bring myself to use the airplane bathroom. After what my brother and Rose did on the way back from California, I wouldn’t even consider it.
It was only when my bladder actually started to hurt, that I finally gave in and used the lavatory.
Before shutting the door, I gazed suspiciously at all the couples seated in the vicinity of the bathroom. Satisfied that none of them seemed as if they’d spent any time in the mile high club on this trip, I closed and latched the door.
--V&V--
During the last hour of the flight, I couldn’t wipe the silly grin from my face.
I was really doing this. I would see my Edward today. Tonight I would fall asleep in his arms.
My heart began to pound rapidly in my chest. The rush of adrenaline just from thinking about surprising him was amazing. Between that and the shit ton of caffeine I’d been drinking all morning, Bella was a fidgeting, jumpy, talkative mess by the time we landed.
“Is this your first visit to the United Kingdom?” The border agent asked, looking less than thrilled to be there.
Wow this guy looks a lot like Charlie. Even has the mustache.
That probably explains why I instantly felt at ease bending the guys ear when all I had to do was answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
“Yes! I’m so excited to be here. I mean, it’s not like I’ve never left the United States. But I don’t really count the time that Rose made me go to Mexico with her. I mean really, she expected shy little Bella Swan to step out in public in that tiny bikini she packed for me.” I snorted out a laugh.
The agent watched me in stunned silence as I continued.
“As a matter of fact, she packed nothing but skimpy clothing for me, guaranteeing that I’d never leave the room. I got to know the housekeeping staff really well. They were nice ladies, although I found out that the tourists treated them pretty badly. You know the stereotype of the loud pushy American?”
The agent nodded, his mouth hanging slightly open.
“Well, I was really sad to find out from those ladies that it was true. People treated them as if they were stupid simply because English wasn’t their first language.” I sighed in disgust.
The agent nodded sympathetically and cleared his throat. “Do you have anything to declare?”
Hmm..
“Well, just that I’ve wanted to visit England since I was a small child. Aside from the fact that I get to see my totally hot movie star boyfriend, who I’m madly in love with, I also get to visit the land of Chaucer and Shakespeare, not to mention my personal favorite Tolkien. It’s a dream come true! I probably should declare that I may never want to leave!” I laughed out loud at that, and the agent chuckled with me.
“Enjoy your stay Miss Swan” he said as he stamped my passport.
I got a United Kingdom stamp in my friggin’ passport!
I stared at the stamp for a moment, and then did what came naturally. I kissed it.
--V&V--
The cab pulled up in front of the very posh Connaught Hotel. Still affected by the caffeine, I whistled out loud. The driver turned and looked at me with an arched eyebrow.
I was so excited that I jumped out of the cab before the doorman had a chance to open the door for me. I stepped out too quickly as I looked up at the hotel and, of course, in typical Bella Swan fashion, landed knees first in the gutter. There was a flurry of activity as more than one hand grabbed my arms to help me up.
I didn’t even flinch at their touch.
Trying to laugh off my obvious embarrassment I spoke. “I guess I should wait until I’m in church to genuflect, I mean I’m pretty certain Jesus never stayed in this hotel, so there’s no reason to pray in front of it.”
The doorman gave me a confused look. “I should say not Miss.”
I am such a dumb ass.
The cab driver got my luggage. I tipped him well and thanked him profusely before he left. I tried to tip the doorman, but he looked offended so I just shut the hell up and went inside followed by some young dude carting my bags.
Once we reached the elevator, I told him I’d take it from here, not wanting him to witness my surprise reunion with Edward. All I had was a large rolling suitcase and my carry-on, which was no trouble for me to handle alone. I tipped him just to get him to leave.
On my way up in the elevator it dawned on me that since it was the middle of the day, Edward probably wouldn’t even be here. I would have to postpone the surprise until tonight when he returned from filming.
You probably should have thought that part through beforehand Bella.
I refused to let this get me down. I was in England for heaven’s sake! My excitement knew no bounds.
After exiting the elevator, I turned down the hallway that led in the direction of Edward’s suite. I noticed a young woman several yards ahead of me knocking on a door. The door opened, but from where I was, I couldn’t see whoever it was that answered the door.
I saw the woman hand off a bucket of ice and bottle of some kind of liquor to the person inside. She obviously didn’t notice me moving slowly up the hall towards her, because the next thing I knew she removed her coat, revealing the lace bra and panty set she had on underneath. My jaw hit the floor as I stood frozen in my tracks.
“Are you going to invite me in?” She breathed in a sultry voice.
I watched as a man’s hand reached out and pulled her inside, leaving nothing behind but her hysterical giggles.
Seriously? It’s like the middle of the day people.
Oh shut up Bella. If you ever actually have sex with Edward, you’ll be ready, willing and able to do it any time of the day or night.
I really couldn’t argue with that statement.
I continued to move down the hallway, scanning the room numbers as I went, until I found Edward’s. My happiness was cut off abruptly when I realized that Edward’s room was the same one I’d seen Miss Skimpy Drawers walk in not two minutes before.
Not walk Bella, she was pulled into that room by a man.
I suddenly felt a little sick to my stomach.
My mind which had been so full of …everything, just a moment before, went completely blank. I literally could not process what I’d just seen.
I stood staring at the door in utter shock and disbelief.
Why is this so hard to believe Bella? You know you’ve never been enough to hold Edward.
I thought about that. It was true. Logically, I should not be enough to hold Edward. He was gorgeous and talented and sexy. I couldn’t see any of those things in myself.
But, the fact was that, Edward did. He constantly went on about my ‘beauty’ and ‘wit’ and in his eyes, I was also ‘sexy’.
So, yeah, whatever that was I just witnessed, I call Bullshit, because Edward Cullen loved me, and would never, ever cheat.
Maybe she gave him ruffies! Oh shit.
I decided I was going in that room and getting to the bottom of things.
I unlocked the door and cautiously pushed it open. Thankfully, no one was in the sitting room.
Fuck! That means she’s got him in the bedroom.
I closed the door quietly and wheeled my suitcase into the corner. I spied the door to the bedroom on the wall to the left. I started to walk toward it when it suddenly opened with a bang. Not ready to be confronted yet, I dropped to my hands and knees in an attempt to hide.
I’ve been on my knees more than a five dollar hooker today.
A man and woman were giggling as they moved closer to where I was. I couldn’t see them, but I could hear them. Realizing that they were headed for the sofa, I quietly crawled until I was hidden behind it.
“Sweetie, you know I need a drink first.” The chick whined.
“I’m on it.” A male, very un-Edward voice replied.
I knew my boyfriend wouldn’t cheat.
I gave my subconscious a one-finger salute.
The voice wasn’t Edward’s, but I’d definitely heard it before.
“Alec, fix mine without ice darling.” Skimpy whined.
Alec? As in Edward’s P.A. Shame on him.
I bet Edward doesn’t know about this.
The couple continued to giggle and I heard glasses clink together as they drank. I also heard them moving around on the sofa.
“Babe, you’ve got entirely too many clothes on.” Alec told Skimpy.
“Alec, I’m only wearing six items if you count the stockings and shoes” she giggled.
Ugh. Why am I here? I could be touring the Tower of London right now.
“As I said, entirely too many clothes.” I could hear them kissing and realized I had nothing to stop my ears with but my fingers.
No Bella, you have to be able to hear in order to make a quick get-away.
I listened a little more intently, *thump* first shoe drop, *thump* second shoe drop.
Looks like Skimpy only has four items left.
I heard some fumbling with material, and then nothing.
Maybe they changed their minds and my ears won’t be assaulted by their sex noises.
I peeked up at the top of the sofa just in time for a pair of black lace panties to fly over it and land on my face.
Every dog within a twenty mile radius of London heard the silent scream which emanated from my horrified mouth.
Oh my God. There’s no telling what diseases my face was just exposed to.
I. Want. To. Die.
The whores on the sofa were obviously still unaware of my presence because the giggles were fast changing into moans.
I scooted quietly to the other end of the sofa in order to be out of target range, just in case something nastier than Skimpy’s underwear took flight. And, because I tend to have days that suck from beginning to end, the next time I looked up Alec’s boxer briefs landed squarely on my head.
I couldn’t keep my silence any more. I stood and screamed. Not the ’I need you to come kill a spider in the bathroom’ kind of scream, but the ’zombies are breaking through the windows en route to eat my brain’ kind of scream.
Skimpy screamed too and attempted to cover up. Alec stood and cupped his junk, for which I was grateful, having no desire to see his diseased peen.
“That’s it!” I shouted, when I was once again able to form words. “I can’t take it any more. Would you two horny bastards find somewhere to ‘get it on’ other than Edward’s room.” Then I narrowed my eyes at Alec “I am so telling Edward about this.”
Alec looked more surprised than anything else at the sight of me. “Bella Swan?” He stuttered out.
“Yes that’s me, and I refuse to have this conversation while you’re naked.” I started to stomp off toward the bedroom when Alec’s voice stopped me.
“That’s my room Bella. Edward’s is over there.”
I looked warily in Alec’s direction to see him point back toward the foyer. I walked over to find a closed door, which I hadn’t noticed when I entered, because it was positioned on the wall behind the main door to the room.
“I’ll be in here until you are clothed.” I grabbed my bags and closed myself in the bedroom.
Holy crap can this day get any weirder?
Edward’s bedroom was so beautiful. Skype did not do it justice. I found myself making a beeline for the bed. I lifted the duvet and crawled under it, snuggling into the pillows.
Mmmm. I wish Edward was here to snuggle with me.
My heart clenched as I thought about how much I missed him. Just then there was a soft knock on the door.
“Bella, can I come in?” Alec’s voice sounded from the other side.
Deciding that I didn’t want any of Alec’s man-whoring cooties infesting Edward’s bedroom, I opened the door and led Alec back out to the sitting room.
I eyed the sofa suspiciously and opted to sit in a chair.
Alec looked remorseful. “Bella, I’d like to apologize about what happened. I really don‘t have an excuse for my behavior.”
I cleared my throat. “Let me ask you something Alec.”
“Sure Bella.”
“Does Edward allow you to bring girls into the suite?”
Alec cringed a little, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Absolutely not Bella. He would have my ass if he knew. I’m supposed to be on lunch break right now. I thought I had time for a quick fu.. Um I mean, a quick tryst…ugh that still doesn’t sound right… uh I thought I’d have time before having to get back to the studio.”
My ears perked up at that. Alec was going to the studio.
I looked around, failing to see Skimpy anywhere. “Where’s your date? For lack of a better word.” I asked sarcastically.
Alec laughed nervously. “Um, yeah, she had to leave.”
I continued to glare at him as I pondered what to do. “Alec, I’m at a loss here. I don’t want to get you in trouble with Edward, but I also don’t want to feel uncomfortable while I’m here. I flew over to surprise him, and got a big surprise myself instead.”
Ugh, I still need to disinfect my face.
Alec smiled widely. “He’s going to be so happy Bella. He moped around all last night because he couldn’t speak with you.”
Oh my sweet Edward.
“Look Bella. My room isn’t really part of the suite. It has a door that opens to the hallway. I can close and bolt the door between my room and the sitting room, so you and Edward have complete privacy. I promise I won’t bring any more girls back here during your stay.”
I glared and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Or.. ever.” He added sheepishly.
I nodded at that answer. “Well, I’m not going to keep this from Edward, but I think he’ll go easier on you if I’m not angry about what happened. I would really appreciate it if you’d have housekeeping clean that sofa.” I pointed at the offending piece of furniture.
“Sure Bella, whatever you want.”
I took a deep breath. “There’s one more thing you can do for me Alec.”
His eyebrows raised in question. “What’s that Bella?”
“You can get me into that studio to surprise Edward. Today.”
Alec grinned “You got it Bella.”
--V&V--
Alec informed me that we’d have to head back to the studio in approximately fifteen minutes.
I went to freshen up in Edward’s enormous bathroom. I was fairly sure that half my apartment could fit into that space. I washed my face and applied a little makeup before changing into a cute little sundress, donning a light sweater to go with it.
As I exited the bathroom, I passed Edward’s suitcase lying open in the closet. I couldn’t help myself, I grabbed his t-shirt lying on top and brought it to my face, inhaling the scent of Edward.
Gosh I’d missed that scent.
When I went to place it back in the suitcase, a familiar bit of material inside caught my eye.
No way.
I pulled the material out from under Edward’s clothes and held it up.
My Little Mermaid underwear.
Those panties had gone missing months ago. I assumed that Rose had confiscated and destroyed them like she usually did. Obviously, I was wrong.
Edward had stolen my Little Mermaid underpants.
What does that even mean?
If Rose were here I could ask her, but she wasn’t and I didn’t have time to call her, so I’d have to figure this out for myself.
I shoved the panties back where I found them and left with Alec. We determined that the best thing would be for me to wait in Edward’s trailer and surprise him when he came in there on break.
By the time Alec left me alone in there, I’d burned through every bit of my adrenaline along with all the caffeine I’d pumped into my system. As I settled into Edward overlarge comfy daybed masquerading as a sofa, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I pulled the blankets up over me and felt myself drift off.
I awoke to the sound of my boyfriend’s melodic voice, only he wasn’t singing, he was cursing. Rather loudly.
“Wake up now! I am going to kick Alec’s ass for leaving this fucking door unlocked.” I heard him mutter. I tried to will my eyes to open, but it was difficult.
“Look you, whoever you are, I need you to get the hell out of my trailer. I could have you arrested for trespassing.”
Obviously when I fell asleep in Edward’s trailer, I had been lying down with my back to the door. So…
Edward has no clue that it’s me lying here. He can’t see my face.
That thought woke me up, and I continued to listen to his rant.
“Fuck. This is not working. You! Would you please wake up. If you’re expecting me to touch you to get you to move, that is not going to happen. I‘ll have my bodyguard come and carry you out of here.”
At that exact moment I rolled over and smiled.
“I don’t want Sidney to carry me. I want you to hold me and kiss me hello Edward.” I whispered. “Surprise.” I added with a smile.
As Edward stood there frozen, I took a minute to drink him in. He was in his WWII army uniform, and had both hands firmly entrenched in his hair. I counted to thirty before I saw him blink. “Bella” he croaked out in a whisper.
“Edward, I only intended to surprise you, not put you into a coma.” I giggled as I crossed the floor to him.
His face lit up in the biggest sexiest crooked smile I’d ever seen as he pulled me into his arms. “You’re really here?”
“Nope. I’m still over there.” I said as I pointed to the sofa.
“Oh Bella” Then his lips were on mine, and I felt myself melt into him.
I was home.
After he’d thoroughly kissed my lips, Edward went on to kiss my forehead, each eyelid, my cheeks, my ear lobes, that one eliciting a moan from me, my jawline, my chin, my neck. Between the kisses he muttered ‘Oh Bella’ and ‘You’re really here’ over and over. I think he would have continued his trail of kisses southward if there hadn’t been a knock on the door.
“Five minutes Mr. Masen.” A voice sounded from outside.
Edward sighed. “Oh Bella, I’m afraid if I go, you will have disappeared by the time I get back.”
“I’m not leaving Edward” I answered breathlessly.
Suddenly his eyes lit up with an idea. “Come” He ordered as he grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the door.
“You want me on the set?” I asked, feeling a little self-conscious.
“There’s nothing I want more at this moment.” He grinned. “I want to show my girlfriend off to everyone.”
He had to be the most adorable underwear thief in the history of the world.
--V&V--
Edward held my hand all the way to the set. He introduced me to so many people that I lost track of names to put with the faces. Edward was the most famous of the main stars, but I’d seen Tony and Yves in a few movies during the last couple of years.
Hal the director was really nice. “So we finally meet the lovely Bella.” He smiled as he shook my hand. “This fellow here thinks the world of you my dear.” I could feel myself blush at his statement, and Edward squeezed my hand.
“I’m pretty crazy about him too.” I said as I beamed up at Edward.
Before Edward was called into a scene to be filmed, he deposited me in his on-set chair.
I sat there fascinated with the whole process of making a film, and mesmerized by Edward’s performance. He was so talented. He blew everyone away with each take being better than the last.
And he looks like sex-on-legs in that uniform.
Alec winked as he brought me a soda.
“I thought a little caffeine might help with the jet lag.” He said.
“Thanks” I whispered appreciatively.
After filming several takes, the director finally got the perfect one. Soon after that, they called it a day and we were free to leave.
Sidney was waiting in the lot. When he saw me walk out with Edward, he got the biggest grin on his face. “Good evening Miss Swan.”
“Hello Sidney. Good to see you.”
On the ride back to the hotel Edward started asking questions. “So, aren’t you missing class?”
“The only day that I miss class is on Thursday. All my professors know, and gave me the work to complete ahead of time.” I answered.
He smiled broadly. “So I’ve got you for how long?”
“I have to fly back on Monday.” I answered.
“We’d better make the most of it then.” He smiled wickedly and pulled me into his arms, holding me in a passionate kiss until we reached the hotel.
Five days together. Making the most of those five days just became my new favorite pastime.
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