He cleared his throat before beginning. He also scrubbed his face with his hands, tugged at his hair, pinched the bridge of his nose, and bit at a fingernail alternately. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see him curl up into the fetal position.
Why is he so freaked out about this?
“Edward, would you relax. It’s just me here. So you’ve been to Forks, so what?”
Then it dawned on me. HE’S BEEN TO FORKS ? More importantly, he’d been there at the same time that I was there.
This was confusing. Why was he in Forks?
He calmed somewhat, let out a big breath, and looked into my eyes as he spoke. “Okay. I can’t hide this from you anymore. Not that I intended to hide this from you this long. It’s just that the days and then weeks got away from me, being really busy, and I completely forgot about it. I meant to tell you, honestly….” He was so flustered that it was comical.
I bit my lip in order not to laugh.
He let out another breath and seemed to calm further. “It all started when I met you. Well, I guess everything started when I met you.” He smiled crookedly at me, and then turned to stare at the instrument panel as he continued.
“I knew I’d miss you when you went home to Forks, I just never realized how much. All Christmas Day as I tried to enjoy myself with friends and family, my thoughts kept returning to you. More and more, you consumed my every waking moment. It got to the point that Dorothy even told me to go see you.”
“Once the thought entered my head, I couldn’t shake it. Alice being well, Alice, she knew I’d be making the trip. She told me to take Dad’s car because it was less conspicuous, she even packed an overnight bag for me, just in case I needed to stay.”
Wow, we’d only known each other a few days then, and Edward had driven all the way to Forks to see me.
He paused there, biting at a fingernail, still looking away from me. “Once I arrived in Forks, things got weird. Not that they weren’t weird before, seeing as I’m a stalker. First, I drove around the town trying to work up the nerve to go to your house. A deputy pulled me over for ‘driving erratically’ and proceeded to fuck with my head.”
My curiosity got the better of me. “Do you know which deputy it was?” I couldn’t help it, I was curious.
“That same dude that pulled up in front of your Dad’s house this afternoon.” He replied weakly.
“Ah, Mark. So that’s why you hid in the bathroom.” This was becoming more amusing by the minute.
“Exactly. Anyway, he let me go with a warning. After that, I drove straight to Charlie’s.” He said as he cut his eyes toward me, still unsure of himself.
“Why didn’t I ever see you Edward? Why didn’t you come to the door?” I asked.
“You had company, I didn’t want to intrude. Also, if I’d gone to that door, I was convinced that your brother and Rose and probably even Charlie would kill me. Therefore, I sat in the car, watching from a distance like the fucking stalker I am.”
I bit down on my tongue hard to stop the laughter that was welling up inside me from escaping.
Edward was looking through the windshield now, “So, I just sat there watching you, falling more in love with you every minute. Of course I didn’t know it was love at the time, but it was.” He finally looked at me.
“Remember the text I sent you that night?”
I nodded.
“I was sitting in front of Charlie’s house when I sent it. After that, I spent the night at The Pacific Inn.” He sighed, defeated.
Edward was actually afraid that his admission would make me angry. I thought about this.
Should I be angry?
It wasn’t possible. The man I adored just confessed to traveling several hours to simply watch me through a window, without hope of anything more. The man that, while I knew he loved me, I had been certain until now, he couldn’t possibly love me as desperately as I loved him.
Here in my hand, I held tangible proof that Edward was just as madly in love with me as I was with him. I was just as much his obsession as he was mine.
I thought my heart would burst with love for him at that moment.
People magazine is sooo right. Edward is the Sexiest Man Alive, but for reasons they will never know.
What I did next surprised even me. I dove across the car and straddled his lap, my knees firmly planted on the edges of the leather seat. I clasped his face between my hands and forced him to look at me. It was not the most comfortable of positions, but it couldn’t be helped, I didn’t want there to be an inch of space between us.
“Edward” I gasped.
“Bella?” He answered, looking at me as if I’d taken leave of my senses.
Maybe I had. But I was sane enough to notice Edward easing the seat back.
Thank heaven, the steering wheel was killing my ass.
“Edward. That is the sweetest and sexiest thing you’ve ever done.” I whispered. “I can’t even tell you how much I love you right now. There. Are. No. Words.” I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. Hard.
His lips parted and I slipped my tongue inside. He tasted like cherry coke and mint and I was soon lost in the feeling of lips and tongues moving together. I pulled back slightly and Edward began kissing down my neck. I wasn’t even aware that my lower body had started grinding against his. I was all feeling and sensation, there was no cognitive thought. I leaned in, my lips close beside his ear, and I whispered “I love you”, I heard his sharp intake of breath when I bit down gently on the lobe.
For a brief second, flashes of my dream returned, and I writhed rhythmically against him.
Edward’s hands which were gripping my legs just above my knees, started to slowly move upwards. I threw my head back slightly to give his lips better access to my neck again as I felt his fingers slip under the hem of my dress. I gasped when they reached the edge of my lacy boy shorts, and my eyes flew open.
As soon as I did this, I became aware of where we were. I stopped my gyrating hips and lowered my head so that our foreheads were touching. We both tried to calm our breathing. “Edward, you have no idea how much I’d love to continue this, but I may die of embarrassment if someone sees me giving you a lap dance in the church parking lot.”
Edward scrunched his eyes shut as he started to laugh. “My God Bella, when I’m with you I lose all awareness of my surroundings.” He raised his head and brushed his lips against mine. “I wish I could say I was sorry for that.” He whispered.
I sighed in contentment, my fingers in his hair. Ours breaths starting to even out. I took a quick glance out of the windows. There was no one around.
Cripes I hope nobody saw me. I am so freaking ashamed of myself. Again.
Reluctantly I slid off of Edward’s lap and back onto my own seat. I could feel his gaze on me, but I couldn’t return it. I just stared out the window.
“What are you thinking Bella?” He whispered, his voice full of concern.
I hesitated. “I just, what you said just now, I know exactly what you mean Edward. Every time you touch me, I lose track of where I am, and how I should behave. I’m trying so hard to be good, but I think it’s killing me.” I sighed.
He smiled gently as he shook his head. “You are good Bella. You’re the best person I know.” He took my left hand in his and watched as his thumb brushed casually back and forth against my ring finger. “Sometimes, we get carried away, but isn’t that what people in love are supposed to do?“
“I sometimes feel like a terrible person Edward. It used to be easy to keep my thoughts kind of, I don’t know, maybe the word pure would be appropriate.“
As pure as they could be around Rose anyway.
He barked out a laugh at that, and I bit my lip. “Okay, so maybe that’s not the right word.”
“Suffice it to say that, in the past at least I tried, but now look at me. I’m grinding on my boyfriend in the church parking lot.” I said in a disgusted tone. “On Good Friday!” I added in alarm. “I feel like Bella the bimbo.”
Edward palmed his face and proceeded to laugh at me for several minutes. After a while I couldn’t help but join in. He finally looked at me, his amusement still apparent on his face “I’m so going to miss you” He said as he leaned over and kissed me quickly on the lips before starting the car.
While on our way to the Thriftway, I thought about Edward’s odd behavior earlier that day. “Edward why were you so weird during lunch today?”
He chuckled. “The day after Christmas, I went to the Forks coffee shop for a quick breakfast. I was sitting on the other side of the partition when you and your family arrived. I hid behind that damned elk head until you left.”
I started laughing at that. “Oh Edward, that is hysterical. Let me guess, Raye was your waitress?” I asked as I continued to laugh.
He nodded, I noticed he had a pained expression on his face. “I was afraid she would recognize me today. Sorry I freaked you out.” Then he started chuckling too.
“You had quite an adventure didn’t you?” I asked with a smile.
He grinned. “I’d do it all again. If you haven’t figured it out by now, you’re my favorite obsession Miss Swan.” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it as he drove.
“As you are mine Mister Movie Star.”
--V&V--
It was so odd getting to show off my boyfriend in my hometown. The stares and smiles affected me differently than in Seattle or even California simply because they came from people I’d known my entire life.
Granted, I didn’t give a crap what a lot of them thought about me, but there were a few that were really nice people, and whose good opinion I valued. Folks that our family considered to be ‘friends’.
I saw my old high school counselor in the Thriftway and made sure to introduce my boyfriend to her. She was a sweet lady, and always very helpful during those difficult years.
By the time we finished grocery shopping, it was almost dinner time. Edward talked me into ordering pizzas instead of having a fish fry.
“Bella, I’d like you to relax tonight. You don’t need to spend the entire evening cooking. I promise that tomorrow I’ll help you fry fish.” He gave me that panty-dropping smile, and I was lost.
A short time later, we were sitting in Pacific Pizza waiting for our order. The door chimed, and I looked up to see a familiar looking face. He turned to look at me and smiled. “Hi Bella.”
I returned the smile “Hi Mitchell, how are you?” I asked.
“I’m good.” He said as he looked at me wistfully. “I graduated last year and am an IT consultant at a firm in Portland. Just home for the weekend visiting my family.”
“That’s great. I can’t wait until I graduate in June. Oh, Mitchell, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend. Mitchell this is Edward.”
Edward shook hands with Mitch. Mitchell then turned back toward me. I felt Edward’s eyes on me as we talked. “I’ve seen you in the news.” He chuckled. “Must be strange for you huh?”
I nodded in agreement.
“You were always so quiet in school, I can only imagine..” His voice trailed off then, he looked uncomfortable. I’m sure he was thinking about my panic attacks and otherwise awkward behavior in high school, probably trying to understand how I could cope with the media spotlight now. I started to feel a little embarrassed by the memories.
At that moment, my name was called, our order was ready. “Well, it was nice seeing you again Bella. Nice to meet you Edward.” Edward nodded toward him.
“Take care Mitch” I called as we headed toward the door, pizzas and salad in hand.
“You too, and Bella..”
I turned to look back at him. “Yeah?”
“I’m really glad to see you happy.”
I smiled “Thank you, I am very happy.”
It was the Gospel truth.
Back in the car, Edward was quiet.
I spoke before he did. “Mitch was in a couple of my classes in high school. He tried to be a friend, even asked me out. I always refused, but he never stopped being kind to me. He graduated the year before I did. This was the first time I’d seen him in over four years.” I said quietly.
“He cares about you.” Edward answered.
“I suppose so, I’ve never really thought about it. Sometimes I feel bad for the way I acted in high school, although some of the students were downright cruel to me about it, others like Mitch never were.” I thought about the handful of people that defended me without knowing the details of my past. “I just realized that there is an upside to all the publicity about the day my mother died.”
Edward looked at me questioningly.
“At least now people like Mitch will understand why I behaved the way I did, and maybe forgive me.” I said as I grabbed onto his hand.
“Bella, sweetheart, there is nothing to forgive. I never want to hear you talk like that again.” He said sincerely as he squeezed my hand. “You know, there are a lot of people that care about both of us. Sometimes I get so caught up in the ’eye of the storm’ as it were, that I forget that.” He answered quietly.
Edward always knows exactly what to say to make my hurt and self-doubt disappear.
--V&V--
Charlie was happy with the cheese pizzas, as long as he had his Vitamin R. In the middle of dinner, Edward’s cell rang. He excused himself from the table to answer the call.
I heard him say “Hello, do you have news for me?” from the living room, but didn‘t hear any more because Charlie distracted me.
“So I was thinking” Charlie said
“Always a dangerous occupation” I said as I smirked.
“You’re getting to be a wise-ass just like your brother” he said as he grinned.
I laughed. “You know I love you Dad.”
“So, I wanted to invite Edward to go fishing with me and Emmett tomorrow morning. But I know he’s leaving Monday, and I didn‘t want to take him away from you.”
“Dad, are you becoming ‘sensitive’ in your middle age?” I giggled.
“Bella cut that out. I’m trying to put my daughter’s feelings first.” He said sincerely.
“That’s really sweet Dad. Look, it’s okay with me. Rose and I have a lot of cooking to do.”
“You girls could come too, but I know you hate it.” He answered.
“No Dad, that’s okay. I’ll leave it up to Edward. He can decide what he wants to do.”
“What are you leaving up to me Bella?” Edward was standing in the doorway smiling.
Charlie cleared his throat. “I was going fishing for a few hours tomorrow morning, wanted to know if you’d like to join me. Emmett’s going too.”
Edward cut his eyes to me and swallowed hard. I could tell he wasn’t sure what was the correct answer. I decided to intervene.
“Edward, I told Dad it was okay with me if you wanted to fish. Rose and I can get all the cooking done while you’re gone.”
Edward sighed and smiled. “In that case, I’d love to go Charlie.”
Charlie beamed. “Alright then, we’ll leave about five am” He said as he left the room.
I watched Edward’s smile drop.
“Just think of it as a ‘bonding experience’ Edward.” I said as I laughed at his expression.
Rose and Emmett arrived later that evening and Emmett had the same old argument with my Dad.
“Pops I can’t understand your reasoning in this. Rose has a ring on her finger this time.” Emmett pleaded.
“I understand that son, but it’s not a wedding ring, not yet.” Charlie was unyielding.
“Pops what if I promised nothing sexual will happen.”
Charlie’s face morphed in disgust. “Emmett please. Not a conversation I want to have thank you.” He said as he tried to walk away.
Emmett’s head dropped. “I’ll just miss her.” he whispered.
Charlie looked at him and arched one eyebrow. “Son, I’d have a little compassion for you if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that you are full of shit.” He grinned.
Emmett looked offended at first, then he blurted out a laugh. “Don’t push me old man” He said with a dimpled smile.
Charlie narrowed his eyes at him “Emmett, you’re damn lucky you’re not sleeping in a tub full of lime jello after that shit you pulled.” He said as he poked my brother’s chest, emphasizing each word.
We all laughed at that. Emmett, once again, trying and failing to win the argument.
I fixed the sleeper sofa in the basement for Edward. He looked dejected as he grabbed the pillow to put on a pillowcase.
“Cheer up Edward” I said with a smile. “At least you have a bathroom down here, and a pool table.” I said jokingly.
He made a face “It smells like moth balls, and cigars.” He stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around me, “and nothing like you.” he ducked his head and kissed my neck.
“I know it’s kind of stuffy, but it’s better than sleeping in the living room. You’d be woken up by every noise, at least down here your sleep will be undisturbed. Five a.m. comes pretty early.”
“Besides, if it makes you feel better, Rose and I never had sex on that sofa.” A voice boomed from across the room.
We looked toward the sound to find my brother standing on the basement stairs smiling from ear to ear.
“Good to know Emmett.” Edward answered while shaking his head.
“Although I should probably tell you that this is the room where I perfected my ‘fart on demand’ technique.” He sighed and stretched “Good times, good times…”
Edward made a disgusted face, probably imagining he was smelling more than moth balls and old cigars.
“Emmett, why are you down here?” I asked.
“Just making sure you’re coming upstairs Bellaboo. Not that I think Andy’s going to do anything out of line, but if I’ve got to be lonely, then he does too.”
I just stuck my tongue out at Emmett, and gave Edward a passionate goodnight kiss, employing use of said tongue in the process, right in front of my brother’s stupid ass.
--V&V--
Dad promised they’d return from fishing by noon, so Rose and I spent the morning cooking. The guys had taken a few snacks with them, but didn’t eat breakfast so we knew they’d be starving when they arrived home.
Rose prepared most of the food, and I complimented her newly acquired cooking skills. “Well, you know Bells, it’s not fair for us to depend on you for most of our meals.” She said with a wink.
“Our lives are changing. Mine and Emmett’s, yours, Edward’s” She was smiling at me. “And I couldn’t be happier for you sweetie” She said as she squeezed my hand.
I smiled back at her. “Hey, you’re the one getting married.” I answered back. “You’ve got to be getting excited.”
“I am. Although my mother is an even bigger pain in the ass than she is normally. Also, I’ll be glad when this meeting with Father Pat is over with. He’s meeting with us both first, and then with Emmett alone. It’s got me a little nervous. Emmett is an idiot after all.” She laughed.
I laughed too. “Relax Rose, that’s something Father Pat is very familiar with.”
The men arrived home shortly after with their catch, and a couple of fishing stories. I silently hoped that Edward really enjoyed himself, and wasn’t just pretending for my benefit.
For our brunch we feasted on Eggs Benedict a la Rosalie.
Emmett and Rose left for their meeting with Father Pat in the mid-afternoon. I made sure Charlie was relaxing in his recliner with a beer before I started cooking again.
As promised, Edward helped me in the kitchen. Our first task was to color Easter eggs.
“Why exactly are we doing this?” He asked.
“I’ll give you three guesses, and the first two don’t count.” As I arched an eyebrow at him.
“Emmett” He muttered.
“Bingo” I smiled.
“Don’t feel bad Bella, Alice colors eggs every Easter” We both laughed.
After the eggs, we started cooking the fish feast. We were in the middle of making hushpuppies when the front door flew open.
“I can’t fucking believe this” My brother shouted.
We rushed from the kitchen just as Charlie jumped up from his recliner to see what the trouble was.
“Emmett, you need to calm down. After all this was your idea. You just need to decide how important it is to you.” Rosalie was trying to soothe him.
Emmett stomped into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. “It’s not just about the wedding, it’s the fact that I want to rejoin the church.” He stormed as he took a big swig. “I thought Father Pat was a friend. This is ridiculous.”
Charlie finally said what we were thinking “What the hell’s going on Emmett?”
Emmett scowled “I had a long discussion with Father Pat about rejoining the Church. He was agreeable and gave me some literature I needed to read. He wants me to think it over and get back to him in a couple of weeks. If everything works out, I’ll be able to start receiving the Sacraments again. He also said that having the wedding in the Cathedral wouldn’t be a problem.”
I was confused. “So what’s the big deal Emmett?”
“He said I was to use the next couple of weeks to reflect and decide if I was really serious. If I truly loved Rose and wanted to rejoin the Church, then the sacrifice asked of me would be secondary to that, in fact it should be easy.”
What is he babbling on about?
“What sacrifice Emmett?” I asked, bewildered.
Emmett looked at me with the expression of a man who had just been handed a death sentence “No sex until the wedding.” He answered mournfully “Ab-sti-nence“ He pronounced each syllable.
He sighed and took another swig of his beer as we all looked on in stunned silence.
“I may just fucking die before the wedding.” He muttered “Because you know what? I sure as hell won’t die fucking.”
Emmett Swan, The Bard of Forks.
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