Directly in front of me was a double decker bus, stopped at the traffic light, but that wasn’t what had Crystal so animated. It so happened that on the side of this particular bus was a very large, very prominent Calvin Klein underwear ad. And who should be starring in this ad? None other than my beloved brother and perpetual source of embarrassment, Emmett Swan.
Yes, there he was wearing a pair of white boxers, a transparent red ’X’ superimposed over his chest.
X marked the spot indeed.
Crystal was practically drooling. “He is fine. If I wasn’t a happily engaged woman, I’d be tempted to find out where Mr. Sexy lives and become his personal stalker.” Crystal giggled.
I sighed. “Oh I know exactly where he lives.” I stated flatly.
“You do? Bella, you know that guy?” She asked, surprised.
“He lives across the hall from me.” I answered simply.
“That guy is your neighbor?” She squealed. “You lucky girl. Tell me, have you ever gotten to see him in his underwear?” Crystal was enjoying this way too much.
“Unfortunately, too many times.” I answered as I shook my head in disgust.
“Bella, that dude is sex on legs, how could seeing him in his underwear be unfortunate?” She was amused by my reaction.
“Ew, just ew Crystal. That guy is my brother.” I answered.
Crystal stared at me with her mouth hanging open, then we both burst into laughter.
At that precise moment, my phone rang.
I’m bringing sexy back
Them other boys don’t know how to act
I think you're special, what's behind your back?
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack.
“Hello Emmett.” I said happily. He was crazy and annoying, but I still missed him.
“Hey Bellaboo. How’s England?” He boomed.
“It’s good. The time is going by too quickly though.” I admitted sadly.
Emmett was quiet for a minute. “Edward will be back in the states before you know it Sissy, then there’s graduation, and don’t forget my wedding. Lots of stuff to look forward to.”
“That’s true Emmett.” My outlook brightened considerably when I thought about what my brother had said.
“So, anyway, there’s a reason I called.”
“And what would that be Emmett?” I asked with a smile.
“I found out that the ads are coming out today worldwide.” He announced happily.
“Oh I’m well aware of that fact Emmett.” I chuckled.
“Bells! Did you see one?” He asked excitedly. “What was it a billboard?”
“Yes I did see one, but it wasn’t a billboard.” I laughed. “It was on the side of a double decker bus.”
“Fucking awesome!” He boomed. “Bells, you’ve got to take a picture of that shit and send it to me.”
“The bus is gone now Emmett, but if I see another one I promise I’ll try.”
“Outstanding!” He laughed. “Okay Sissy, I’ll let you go. I’m leaving for my retreat this afternoon so I guess I’ll talk to you later. Have fun.”
“Thanks brother dear. I’ll see you on Monday. Love you Emmett.”
“Love you too Bells.”
Crystal was laughing and shaking her head.
I looked at her incredulously “Crystal, your fiancé is gorgeous. Stop lusting after my brother.”
We both laughed again.
Yves would be done filming at any moment so we headed over to the studio in order for Crystal to meet up with him. Edward wouldn’t be finished for hours, so I planned to wait around.
“Let me drop these shopping bags in Yves’ trailer, then we’ll drop yours at Edwards’.” Crystal chirped as she ran up the steps to the trailer. The next thing I knew, Crystal was screaming. She suddenly appeared in the doorway dragging a half-naked woman out, by her hair.
What the hell?
She pulled the woman down the steps and let go of her, while pushing her away.
“I don’t know what the hell you thought you were doing in there, but Yves’ trailer is off-limits to you.” Crystal shouted.
“I think we should let Yves decide that.” Half-naked chick responded.
“What’s going on Crystal?” I put my hand on her arm, trying to calm her down.
“That” she said while pointing at the chick wearing only her bra and panties “is Nicole, the nasty whore I told you about. Evidently she thought it would be a good idea to hide in Yves’ trailer in hopes of seducing him.”
Nicole, the same witch that went after Tony and Edward?
I looked at Nicole, and saw her smirk. “Maybe you should spend a little less time shopping ladies, and a little more time seeing after your men.”
Crystal narrowed her eyes. “Maybe you should spend a little less time whoring. You’ve now tried to ‘get busy’ with all three of the male stars. Get it through your head Nicole, they don’t want you.”
Nicole abruptly looked angry, and before I knew what had happened, she’d slapped Crystal across the cheek, hard.
That set Crystal off. I watched as she balled up her fist and let it fly, punching Nicole square in the face while knocking her on her ass.
I wanted to hug Crystal, and so I did. “That was fuckawesome Crystal!”
Crystal smiled and then winced at the pain in her hand, while Nicole struggled to her feet and ran away. Yves appeared about a minute later. When Crystal told him what had happened, he was livid. They decided to complain to the director about Nicole’s behavior. I hugged Crystal goodbye, promising to see her before I left Monday, and headed over to Edward’s trailer.
I turned the doorknob only to find it locked.
“Damn it.” I then remembered Edward saying something about keeping the door locked.
No doubt in order to keep out the skanks like Nicole. My Edward is so smart.
I decided that I needed to find Alec so he could let me in. On my way toward the set, I passed Tony. “Hi Bella, how are you today?”
“I’m good, I’m actually looking for Edward or his assistant Alec.”
“Oh. I haven’t seen Edward all day. Yves and I were with the second film crew, working on scenes that didn’t include Edward. I think he’s over in studio B.” He said as he pointed toward a building on his right.
“Thanks Tony, and if I don’t see you again good luck with the rest of the film.”
“Thanks Bella.”
I walked over to studio B, my shopping bag still in hand. The assistant manning the door recognized me immediately. “Hello Miss Swan. Did you want to sit in on the filming this evening?”
“I guess so.” was my lame answer. I really just wanted to find Alec and the key to the trailer. The assistant led me to the door and allowed me inside. I noticed a placard as I passed with today’s date and the words ‘closed set’ written on it.
I wonder what that means?
A couple of minutes later, I found Alec leaning against a wall looking bored. When he turned and saw me, he looked surprised. “Hi Bella” he whispered.
I smiled in answer.
Alec glanced back to where he had been looking when I walked in. “I have to say that you’re pretty cool Bella.”
“Thanks?” I was confused.
“I mean, a lot of people wouldn’t be able to watch their boyfriend or girlfriend film this type of scene without being upset by it.” He grinned.
What is he talking about?
I then glanced over to whatever it was that was holding his attention.
There, across the vast studio floor, a scene was playing out on a set that had been made to look like a 1940’s bedroom. It appeared that the man and woman in the scene were about to consummate their relationship.
As I glanced at them, the man was just peeling the woman’s wedding gown off of her body. Then he removed his shirt. I took a closer look at the man who had his back to me.
I’d know that head of bronze hair anywhere. Edward.
Just as I thought this, Edward removed his trousers, to reveal the boxers underneath. After some words from the director, the couple proceeded to kiss and kiss and kiss again.
It’s a wonder he even wants to kiss me at the end of the day. Must seem an awful lot like work.
My stomach began to hurt a little, and I fought the urge to pout like a child.
Grow the hell up Bella.
The director yelled ‘cut’, and Alec proceeded to carry a robe and a bottle of water over to Edward.
Well, if that’s all that happens in Edward’s ’sex scene’ then it wasn’t so bad.
Unfortunately as I was to find out a few minutes later, there was more to the scene. A lot more.
I watched from across the room as Edward disappeared behind a curtain. Rachel was nowhere to be seen. When Edward reappeared, he was wearing the robe. He walked over to the set, and stood talking with the director in hushed tones. Rachel soon joined them, also wearing a robe similar to Edward’s.
I watched in horror as they both approached the bed and removed the robes, handing them to their assistants before crawling under the sheets together. Naked.
Not really naked Bella. Edward has his flap of material taped in place.
Rachel, well, she had an identical piece of material taped over her hoo ha, but she was naked everywhere else.
If I thought I’d felt sick before, it was nothing compared to what I was feeling now. Knowing that I needed to get out of there, I grabbed Alec’s arm and demanded the trailer key. He handed it to me quietly.
Taking one last glance over my shoulder, my heart clenched as I watched Edward and Rachel kissing while he was lying on top of her. Even the fact that I got to see his naked tush in person did nothing to lift my spirits as I felt myself wanting to cry.
Once inside the trailer, I cried myself to sleep.
--V&V--
I was awoken by the feeling of soft warm kisses on my neck and shoulder as Edward softly called my name. “Bella”
Something was troubling me, but I couldn’t quite remember what it was. I only knew I didn’t want to wake up.
“Come on beautiful girl, let’s go back to the hotel.“ Edward breathed in my ear.
I shook my head, still not opening my eyes. “Bella, I’m done filming, and I have the next two days off. Let’s not waste the time here.”
Filming? Oh right, Edward was filming a movie.
The memory from earlier returned to my mind with a vengeance and I felt myself pull away from him as I sat up. He reached for me again, but instead of allowing him to hold my hand, I trapped both of my hands beneath my thighs.
Edward looked puzzled and a little hurt. I immediately felt bad for the way I had reacted, and grabbed his hand, allowing him to silently lead me to the car.
Alec was there waiting for us. “Hey Bella.”
I forced a smile in response.
I was quiet all the way back to the hotel, and I could tell that Edward was genuinely concerned about me. Alec evidently grew tired of the silence and tried to get me to talk.
“I was surprised that you didn’t stay longer on set today Bella.” He remarked casually.
I felt Edward tense beside me.
“I had to hand it to Sean, he made it to the bitter end.” Alec laughed.
I looked at him questioningly.
“Sean is Rachel’s husband.” He explained.
Wow, Rachel’s husband was able to watch that scene being filmed?
I was now completely ashamed of my behavior. I looked at Edward and smiled tentatively.
He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes.
Back in the suite I changed into jeans and a t-shirt. “Did you want to have dinner here?” Edward asked. He had followed my lead and was also clothed in jeans and a t-shirt.
I was starving, but I wanted to explore a little. “I think I’d rather go out. We can just pick something up.”
As soon as we were a couple of blocks from the hotel, I knew exactly what I wanted. “Edward, let’s get our food here.” I said as I pointed to a chip shop.
He grinned. “Really?”
“Absolutely, this is my first trip to England. I think I should learn to live a little.” I chuckled.
A short time later Edward was eating the traditional fish and chips while I was quite happy with my chips, peas and gravy, thank you very much.
We ate as we walked back in the direction of the hotel. It made sense to go back, Edward’s filming had gone well into the evening, and it was now getting late.
Back in the suite, Edward decided to address the elephant which had taken up residence in the room. “Bella, I had no idea you would show up on the set during that scene. I’m really sorry if it bothered you baby.” He rubbed my arm as he spoke.
I thought about it.
Did it bother me?
“I guess the fact that you were filming an intimate scene wasn’t the thing that really bothered me Edward.”
“What bothered you then?” He asked.
I let out a breath. “My basic insecurities run amok, as usual.” I laughed without humor. “Seeing Rachel like that. Wondering if you thought she was sexy. You having to put your hands on her, and kiss her…” I trailed off, realizing how stupid I sounded.
Edward smiled reassuringly. “I wish you had stuck around Bella. Filming an intimate scene is the most un-sexy thing in the world.” He grinned more now. “To begin with, the director stops every ten seconds to place hands in certain positions, to angle the bodies in different directions, to tilt your head a little more to the left or right. And, after all that, the actors are expected to pull off a beautiful realistic love scene. It’s a wonder any of those scenes ever come across as believable in the final cut.”
“As for Rachel being almost naked.. Even if I had never found you, I would never be attracted to Rachel in that way. She’s a nice person, but that’s it. You’re the only woman I find sexy Bella.”
“You’ve said that before, but it’s always nice to hear.” I said with a smile. “Just tell me one thing.”
“What’s that sweetheart?” He asked as he pulled me into his arms.
“Tell me that little piece of material you were wearing stayed in place during filming.”
Edward barked out a laugh. “Have no fear Miss Swan. There was no slippage. And for your information, that material was not ‘little‘ because what it had to cover isn‘t ‘little‘.” He said with a smirk.
Oh my God.
“Good to know.” I squeaked out.
“Hey Edward” I whispered.
“Yes?” He said looking down at my face as he held me.
“Remember my bubble bath the other night?” I questioned.
A low growl emitted from Edward’s throat. “How could I forget?”
“Well..” I smirked. “I think we’re even now because I totally saw your bare butt today.”
Edward started laughing loudly again while I giggled. “Bella, don’t ever change.” He smiled and then kissed me sweetly.
--V&V--
Edward said we should sleep in on Saturday because he had a late night planned for us. Unfortunately, when I woke up it was only seven o’clock, and I was alone in the bed.
“So much for sleeping in.” I muttered. I sat up in bed and listened. No sounds from the bathroom. There were no sounds from the sitting room either. I padded over to the door, opened it and peeked out. Edward was nowhere to be found.
Instead of panicking, I decided to use this opportunity to phone Rose. I realized that it was after eleven at night back home, but I really wanted to talk to her. I snuck into the bathroom and shut the door just in case Edward returned.
“Hey Bells.” Rose sounded wide awake.
“Hi Rose. Did Emmett leave for his retreat?”
“Yeah, he left this afternoon. Is everything okay?” She asked.
Always worrying about me.
“Everything is great.” I replied happily. “There is something I wanted to talk to you about though, and I’m glad Emmett’s not around to hear.”
“Hmm, this sounds like it’s going to be good.” Rose said as she chuckled.
“Don’t get too excited.” I giggled. “It’s just that. What does it mean if , um” I took a breath. “if a guy steals your underwear?” I whispered.
Rose laughed. “First of all Bella, I hope you’re talking about Edward, and not some random dude with a fetish for your panties.” She laughed at her own joke.
“Of course it’s Edward.” I hissed. “I found them in his suitcase, so he’s had them for some time.”
“Which pair was it? Oh, don’t tell me. I bet it was the lavender thong from La Perla. Those are hot.”
“That’s not important. I just want to know what I’m supposed to think about it.”
“What do you mean it’s not important? Of course it’s important.” She argued. “And as for what to think, the better question is how to feel about it.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Bella, you should feel flattered. Now what the hell pair was it?” She snarked.
“Flattered?”
“That, and know that he’s got it bad.” she barked. “What pair?”
“I am so not telling you.”
“Oh yes you are.”
“No I’m not.”
“Bella, do I need to remind you that I have the key to your apartment?” She said in a low and menacing voice. “Maybe I should do some Spring cleaning while you’re gone.”
Crap. I know what that means. Rose will throw away every piece of comfortable clothing I own.
I sighed in defeat. “Okay. I was thelittlemermaidunderwear.” I mumbled.
There was dead silence for a full minute until Rose barked out a laugh. “You two fucking deserve each other.” She said through her guffaws. “I mean that is so perfect.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Oh Bella.” She sighed, still laughing a little. “That boy must adore you. For him to choose that pair to steal… it’s just. It’s.. so fucking sweet.” She said quietly.
“It was sweet wasn’t it?” I said as I smiled.
“It most certainly was. Can you imagine how he probably argued with himself before he took them? But he just couldn’t help himself.” She chuckled. “And now that he has them, he probably feels guilty because, let’s face it Edward is very uptight. He obviously has the hots for you, but at the same time he didn’t take the designer panties. Edward wanted something that was more representative of the real you. He’s one of a kind Bella.”
“I couldn’t agree more Rose.” I smiled.
“So, what are you going to do about it?” Rose asked.
“What do you mean?” I was confused.
“I take it that he doesn’t know you found them?” She continued.
“No”
“So, if you wanted to torture him, I could help you with that.” She giggled.
I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my mouth when she said that. “What did you have in mind?” I asked.
“Well….” Rose began
--V&V--
Edward still hadn’t returned to the suite when I ended my phone call, so I decided to take a shower. As I toweled off, I heard movement in the bedroom. “Sweetie, would you tell me what we’re doing today so I know how to dress.” I called out to him.
There was a muffled answer. I thought I could make out “Stratford upon Avon”.
I threw my robe on excitedly and walked out of the bath. He was sorting clothing, and placing his newly laundered items in the dresser. I bounded over to him and threw my arms around his neck. “Stratford upon Avon? Really?” I asked excitedly.
“Now Bella, give me some credit. How could I let you go home without seeing Shakespeare‘s birthplace?” He said as he wrapped his arms around me. “There are so many places I want to take you. I wish we had more time.”
“After graduation, I’ll go anywhere you lead Mr. Movie Star.” I said as I winked.
He smiled broadly. “Come on, let’s go. We have over an hours’ ride ahead of us.”
Our first stop was Shakespeare’s birthplace. We toured the house, and then moved on to New Place, which was Shakespeare’s last residence, living there for almost twenty years, until his death.
The house was no longer standing, so Edward and I explored the gardens. As we walked along, Edward‘s arm around my shoulders and my arm around his waist, he would quote random passages from Shakespeare’s plays to me.
“I didn’t realize how big a fan you were Edward.”
He has no idea how sexy he sounds while quoting Romeo.
“The result of having a lot of time on my hands my love.” He smiled as we walked along. “At least I used to have a lot of time on my hands. Before I was gobsmacked by a certain brunette beauty. I can understand exactly how Romeo felt the first time he saw Juliet.”
‘O she doth teach the torches to burn bright
It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night.
Like a rich jewel in an Ethiope’s ear;
Beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear‘
GAH….
I think Edward just melted my brain, along with my panties.
My mind could form no verbal response so, instead, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down into a chaste kiss.
We ate at one of the pubs in town, and I got to meet several of Edward’s British fans. All the people that approached us were extremely polite when asking for a photo. My boyfriend was generous with his time, as always. If he ever got tired of the fans, he never let on.
After lunch, we ambled along the river Avon for a while. Again, we walked, each with an arm around the other, as I leaned into Edward’s side. We both felt the need to be close, and holding hands wasn’t enough today. We chatted about our favorite Shakespeare plays as we walked.
Eventually the conversation turned to other authors whose works we enjoyed. After our walk, we visited the last stop of our tour, Anne Hathaway’s cottage. As soon as I saw the garden, I knew I’d never want to leave. It was the epitome of the perfect English garden, and I realized how fortunate I was to have visited during the springtime.
I bet it’s even more beautiful in summer.
Edward literally had to coax me to leave with promises of a surprise he had planned for later. My curiosity won out and I willingly took his hand and let him lead me to the car.
When we got back to the suite, I discovered that a dress and shoes from a London designer had been delivered, along with a suit of clothes for Edward. I was certain that Alice was behind it.
Maybe it was because we had spent the day in the land of Shakespeare, but for some reason, I got the impression that Edward was taking me out to see a stage show, or an opera tonight. Every time I asked, he wouldn’t give me so much as a hint, so after a while I stopped asking.
For the second time this week, I was able to wear the necklace and earrings that Edward had given me. The champagne dress was strapless, and when I put it on I felt a bit like a character from a romantic novel.
When I stepped into the sitting room and saw Edward in his suit, I almost suggested we stay in. He greeted me with a crooked smile and a kiss.
He is gorgeous, sexy, sweet, and all mine. Luckeee bitch.
I was surprised when Sidney drove us out of the city. “Edward, can you at least tell me how far away we’re going?”
He grinned. “It will be about an hour until we reach our first stop.”
As soon as I stepped from the car I clapped my hands excitedly. We were in Oxford, and were standing in front of The Eagle And Child pub.
“Oh Edward.” I was so touched. This man knew me so well. He knew that spending time in the pub where Tolkien met often with colleagues, including one C. S. Lewis, would mean more to me than an opera or a stage show.
I wrinkled my nose as I looked down at my dress. “We may be just a tad overdressed though.” I whispered.
He smiled. “We’re still having dinner later Bella. I thought it would be nice to spend some time here, and maybe have a pint.” He said as he winked.
I knew without a doubt that if, some day, Edward and I visited the Holy Land, and I got a chance to walk in the footsteps of Jesus and the Apostles, it would be one of those moments that would stay with me forever.
But, right here, right now, getting to see and spend time in the place where these literary giants met and conversed about God, the universe, and man’s place in it, the place where they discussed all the great literary works of history and their own unfinished manuscripts, this was truly a religious experience for me.
Getting to share that experience with the man I loved, made it all the more meaningful.
This man that sat before me drinking his ale never ceased to amaze and delight me with his thoughtfulness. I found it humorous the way he always expressed his belief that he didn’t deserve me, when exactly the opposite was true.
I didn’t deserve him. I was childish, immature, and sometimes just plain stupid. My lack of relationship experience wreaked havoc on my already low self-esteem, but Edward endured my silliness with the patience of a Saint.
I looked across the table at the man I adored and reached for his hand, covering it with my own. “Thank you.” I whispered. “I love you Edward.”
“I love you too beautiful.” He said with a smile as he squeezed my hand. “Are you ready to leave?” He asked.
I nodded. I wanted so badly to kiss the hell out of him, right there in the Bird And Baby, but I wasn’t sure how the British felt about public displays of affection, and I had no desire to be thrown out on my ass in my fabulous dress.
“We have one more stop, before we eat.” He said as Sidney pulled up to the curb.
The next stop was a beautiful old home on a quiet street. It seemed vaguely familiar, as if I’d seen a photo of it before, but I couldn‘t quite place it.
“Does someone you know live here Edward?”
“No one I know Bella. Actually the house is vacant. The new owner hasn‘t moved in yet.”
Huh?
Then I saw it. A small blue sign hanging on the front of the house. It was almost too dark to make it out, but with the help of the streetlamp, I could read: ‘JRR Tolkien author of The Lord of the Rings lived here 1930-1947’. I gasped in amazement as I covered my mouth with my hand.
I looked at Edward who was smiling from ear to ear. “The owner has given permission for a tour.” He said as he unlocked the door and led me inside.
The house was empty, but Edward seemed to know his way around. He led me through room after room before stopping in front of a closed door. “I have a feeling that this room will be your favorite my love.” He smiled as he turned the knob.
I took a step into the room as my mouth fell open in amazement. It was as if I’d been transported to Middle Earth. “This was Tolkien’s study.” Edward murmured quietly.
Oh my. This was the room in which Tolkien had written The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings.
I couldn’t speak.
Edward, I assumed with help, had been able to transform this room from a simple study, to a chamber worthy of Elrond’s home in Rivendell. It was so lovely, filled with old tapestries, and flowers. Like the rest of the house, it was empty of furniture, aside from the bookcases built into the walls.
The most spectacular element of the room had to be the bare trees lined in fairy lights which had been brought in to complete the magical feel. “The set decorator for the movie created this. Being herself a Tolkien fan, when I told her what I wanted, she was thrilled to help me out.”
“Oh Edward, it’s stunning. I can’t believe you did this for me.” I could feel my throat starting to close as I resisted the urge to cry.
“I wanted to do something special..” He said quietly.
I was suddenly drawn to the window. This window evidently looked out over a garden, which would have been impossible to see in the dark, except for the fact that every tree in the garden had also been lined in fairy lights.
It looked like Christmas. Christmas in Middle Earth.
I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep the tears at bay for long, and I knew I needed to kiss Edward right the hell now. I turned around in order to do just that. He was standing directly behind me, and as soon as I turned to face him, he dropped to one knee.
Suddenly, I was aware that he was holding a small velvet box in one hand as he reached for my hand with the other.
“Isabella…”
Oh my…..
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