From a distance I watched as my father and what looked to be about half of the police force of Forks, stood in front of the group of paps that had followed us from the restaurant.
"Sorry folks, unless you have permission to be on school property, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Charlie announced.
I heard a collective groan go up from the camera-wielding pains in the ass.
Charlie and the other cops stood firm as the paps slowly retreated to their vehicles and pulled out of the parking lot. I wasn't naïve enough to believe that they wouldn't be waiting for us just off of school grounds when we left later.
I continued to watch as my Dad posted a couple of officers near the entrances, before turning to walk over to us.
Charlie had dressed for the occasion. The only other times I'd had the pleasure of seeing him in his 'dress' uniform were when he'd attended funerals in an official capacity, or when he'd received citations for his 'exemplary performance' on the job.
Everyone except Edward and I had drifted toward the school entrance. "Aren't you kids going inside?" Charlie asked with a big smile.
"Yeah, in a minute" I answered as I returned his smile. "Thanks for helping with this Dad."
"That Chris is quite a character. I don't think I really had a choice." He chuckled. His eyes traveled between Edward and me, before clearing his throat. "Um, well, I'll see you both inside."
I looked at him questioningly.
"I volunteered to be a chaperone." He shrugged before disappearing into the building.
This prom will have more chaperones than students tonight.
After my Dad was gone, Edward held out his arm for me to take. "Shall we?" He smiled down at me.
I took his arm happily, but I needed to speak with him before we entered the gym. As we passed a long row of lockers just inside the school doors, I slowed down, and looked up at his face.
"Edward, is this really okay with you?" I asked quietly, knowing that the only prom night he'd experienced before tonight had left permanent scars.
He smiled genuinely. "Bella, I'll admit that I wasn't sure about this when Alice phoned to ask the other day. She was worried then for the same reasons you are now." He stopped walking and took both my hands in his after turning to face me.
"I am so much in love with you Bella, that what happened on prom night all those years ago has become nothing more than a bad memory. I can say without a doubt that the shitstorm I suffered through no longer determines the way I live my life." He smiled again. "I live my life for you now." He said before kissing my hand.
I was speechless. I reached up and placed the palm of my hand on his cheek before leaning up to kiss his lips. "You make me so happy Edward." I admitted.
He smiled.
"So, how about you?" He questioned. "How do you feel about being back in your old alma mater?"
I drew in a deep breath. "It's a little strange, but not upsetting." I answered as I looked around. "I haven't set foot in here for so long that it now feels almost unfamiliar. It's hard to believe I spent four years of my life in this building."
Edward grinned at me before winking and offering his arm again. "Let's make some new memories Miss Swan."
-V&V—
The gymnasium that I remembered from high school was unrecognizable. The prom committee had done a wonderful job transforming the space into 'Alice's Wonderland'. Sheer, flowing material had been draped across the ceiling and walls, hundreds of fairy lights had been strung on the fake trees, they'd even taken the time to place mirrored panels along one wall. The most impressive display had to be that each table was set to resemble the Mad Hatter's tea party.
It was magical.
Chris's words came back to me then, something about Edward and I deserving a little 'magic'.
I took in the scene for a moment, before Edward led me over to a table where the rest of our group was already seated. I noticed more than a few pairs of eyes following us, or should I say, following Edward, as we took our seats.
I'd barely had time to utter two words to anyone before Alice and Rose were pulling me onto the dance floor. Edward balked because he wanted to have the first dance with me, but somehow I couldn't see dancing to 'Single Ladies' with my fuckhot boyfriend.
Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Less than a minute into the song, Rose, in her blood red, skintight dress with a sexy slit up the side, had become the center of attention. She did her best 'Beyonce', while Alice and I danced on her flanks.
I need no permission, did I mention
Don't pay him any attention
Cause you had your turn and now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me
By this time almost every girl in attendance had crowded onto the dance floor. The few boys who attempted to stay eventually gave up, not wanting to look completely foolish.
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies
Now put your hands up, oh, oh, oh
I happened to glance toward our table to see Jasper and Edward standing and clapping with the music, very amused smiles on their faces, while Emmett and Chris were doing their own 'Beyonce' impression off to the side.
Although their moves look a lot more like Justin Timberlake's and Andy Samberg's.
After an eyeful of that, Rose, Alice and I couldn't hold it together any longer and ambled off the dance floor, laughing hysterically.
Vowing that I wouldn't dance again until it was with Edward. I sat the next few out, being content to watch my brother and Rose dancing inappropriately to 'Good Girls Go Bad'. Edward sat close beside me, his arm around my waist, pulling me against his body. We both broke down in hysterical laughter when old Mrs. Withers, the science teacher who'd been teaching at the school for years, went up to Rose and Emmett, scolding them for their dance moves.
Emmett's response was to give her a big smile and wiggle his eyebrows while gently tugging on both her hands in an effort to coax her into dancing inappropriately with him. Mrs. Withers blushed and giggled. She shook her head, and proceeded to place one hand in his and the other on his shoulder.
We continued to laugh as we watched Emmett and Mrs. Withers slow dance to 'Low' by Flo Rida.
Too freakin' funny.
.
Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans (Jeans)
Boots with the fur (With the fur)
the whole club was lookin at her
She hit the floor (She hit the floor)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low low low low low low low low
.
As we sat there, one of my former teachers stopped by. "Hello Bella."
I turned to face the bright smile that went with the soft voice.
"Hi Miss North, it's so good to see you." I said sincerely. "Let me introduce you to my fiancé" I said as I turned toward Edward. "Edward, this is Miss North, my eleventh grade English teacher. She's the reason I love to write."
Edward smiled and nodded in her direction.
Miss North wasn't much older than I was. I guessed her to probably be in her early thirties by now. She was beautiful and kind, and the time I'd spent with her had been some of the happier moments of my high school career.
"I merely helped you realize what was already there." Miss North smiled. "It's very nice to meet you Edward. I find that I don't really need to ask how you are Bella, because the news media seems to think it their mission to give us daily updates." She remarked with a laugh.
I rolled my eyes before laughing with her. "Promise me that you won't believe everything they say Miss North."
"Don't worry." She smiled and glanced around. "Well, I'll let you get back to your evening."
I smiled.
Miss North hesitated before walking away, and then suddenly leaned in close so only I could hear, while covering my hand with hers. "You know, I've kept tabs on you through your Dad over the last four years." She looked a little sheepish to be admitting it. "Bella, I can't tell you how much it means to me to finally see you happy." He voice cracked during the last few words.
I thought about how much she'd done for me in high school. Bella Swan, poor traumatized little girl, afraid of her own shadow. Miss North cared enough to see more than what was visible to others. Who knows how many times she'd wrung her hands or lost sleep worrying about me? I'd given her enough reason to, that's for sure. I thought back to the one of many times she'd helped me...
*
'Today we've been discussing the works of Poe, but do any of you know about his tragic life?' Miss North asked.
Not getting a response, she continued. 'Poe was abandoned by his father, left orphaned by his mother's death, taken in by a family who never formally adopted him. He failed at virtually every occupation he attempted, other than writing. He lost his wife to tuberculosis. He gambled, suffered from alcoholism..'
'Sounds like he should have 'offed' himself.' Tim Carver said with a snicker. The only person to find his remark humorous was his evil girlfriend Michelle.
'Well, for your information Tim, he was found dead. Although the true cause has remained a mystery, it is believed that his alcoholism was a major contributing factor.'
'It's a shame more freaks aren't found dead like that, huh Little Swan?' Tim and Michelle continued to snicker. 'Maybe some losers should have just done the world a favor and died along with their whore of a mother.'
I hung my head lower than usual at his comments. How much does everyone know about my mother's death? My hands began to shake and I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I heard a strange noise, and then realized that it was me, I was sobbing.
Before I knew what was happening, Miss North was there, crouching down beside me. She turned to shout at Tim and Michelle. 'You two, go to the office, NOW!'
I heard shuffling feet, then the classroom door opened and closed again. I became aware that Miss North was speaking to me. 'Bella, honey, take deep breaths. Oh you poor thing, you're trembling. Please don't think about what they said. They are heartless and cruel. I've been looking for a reason to have them removed from my class all year.'
As the sobbing finally slowed, I kept my eyes fixed on my desk, and wrapped my arms around myself, so ashamed of my behavior. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Maybe the Tim's of the world would be happy then. Miss North continued trying to soothe, but I didn't respond. I needed to disappear. Finally, she tentatively reached out and patted my hand. 'Come with me Bella, I think we should call your father.'
It wasn't the first or the last time that Charlie was called to pick me up from school.
*
The wave of emotion that came over me at the memory of Miss North's kindness, so many times when I'd needed it most, prompted me to my feet. I reached to pull her close, and threw my arms around her, giving her a fierce hug. "Thank you so much Miss North. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for everything."
I pulled back to look at her face, we both had tears in our eyes.
"Don't thank me Bella, just have a happy life." She said with a small smile, before giving me one last quick hug, "and please, you're an adult now, call me Suzanne", she smiled again before walking back to sit with the other teachers.
When I sat down again, Edward pulled me back against his side. I felt his warm breath on my temple as he kissed me there sweetly. We sat at our table continuing to watch everyone else dance as we waited for the first slow song to play. Edward was such a romantic; I knew he wanted to hold me close during our first dance.
I watched as Emmett, Rose and Mrs. Withers exited the dance floor, stopping to talk to a few people. Alice and Chris had disappeared, leaving Edward, Jasper and me alone at the table. Edward, ever the gentleman, decided that I needed a drink and headed in the direction of the refreshment table.
As I sat there waiting, I got caught up watching the students of Forks dancing to 'Yeah' by Usher.
Damn, some of these kids can dance.
Surprised that Emmett wasn't out there showing off again, I looked around and spotted him across the room entertaining a group of high school jocks with his antics.
Probably the entire Forks High football team.
Not far from Emmett, I noticed that Rose too was surrounded by her own group of admirers.
No doubt her loyal viewers have heard about her show going nationwide soon.
Before long, Jasper moved around the table and slipped quietly into the chair beside mine. "I think you and I are the only ones without a fan club Bella." He stated with a chuckle.
I smiled before looking further around the large room. Chris and Alice, newly revealed to the public as 'Brandon Miles' fashions, were surrounded by a small group of young girls and a couple guys, snapping photos and getting their autographs.
"I also think our boy's not going to make it back here with that drink any time soon." He added nodding his head toward the refreshment table, an expression of amusement on his face.
I looked in that direction and saw my poor fiancé surrounded, but it wasn't by high school girls. He was standing there, my drink in his hand, being admired and chatted up by almost every female teacher from Forks High School.
I was secretly thankful that Suzanne North was not among them.
"Normally, Alice would be the one to rescue him from this type of situation, but I think the job now officially falls to you Miss Bella." He said in his southern drawl as he grinned.
I sat and deliberated for a minute or two on how to successfully extract Edward unscathed from his current predicament.
My answer came in the form of a song. As soon as I heard the opening strains of 'Hallelujah' by Jeff Buckley begin to play, I jumped from my seat and made a bee-line for Edward. When his eyes locked with mine, a blinding smile spread across his face.
.
Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
.
I watched as he set down my drink and excused himself from the group of admirers. The next thing I knew, I was in his arms on the dance floor.
.
Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
.
"Sorry my love." He whispered as he pulled me close and we swayed to the music.
I smiled up at him. "It's alright Edward. I usually don't mind your adoring fans, but tonight I'll admit to being a little selfish."
.
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
.
"I like selfish Bella." He admitted with a wolfish grin. "The look on your face as you charged across the room to find me was very sexy." He said as he brushed his lips along the shell of my ear, "very sexy indeed."
No Sexward. Please not here in front of …everyone…
I drew in a surprised breath when he bit down gently on my ear lobe.
My girly bits, which I thought I'd successfully beaten into submission, were suddenly on fire.
Please Bella, let us do naughty things. We want to play with Sexward's manly bits.
I couldn't stop myself, I whimpered out loud.
My gorgeous fiancé chuckled at my reaction, knowing full well the affect he had on me.
Assward.
.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
.
He held me tighter. "You're so beautiful Bella." He whispered. "For the rest of the night, I'm not letting you out of my sight."
I could live with that.
"Edward, no one is going to bother me, it's you who's in serious danger of being molested. And the fact that the molester may be one of my former teachers is seriously creeping me out."
He blurted out a laugh.
.
Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you?
And remember when I moved in you?
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah
.
"You're so wrong Bella." He said.
I looked at him questioningly.
"Every guy in here can't keep his eyes off of you. I've had to glare down several already."
He's got to be joking.
He looked at me and shook his head. "My beautiful, clueless girl."
I glanced around and noticed that the dance floor had gotten very full. People were staring, but I didn't care. For the moment, I was content to close my eyes and lay my head against Edward's chest.
I'm pretty sure that there's not a soul on earth as happy as I am tonight…
"What are you thinking about?" Edward murmured low in my ear.
I smiled up at him. "About how happy I am right now."
"Me too."
.
Well maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who'd out drew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen in the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
.
Edward bent his head down a little lower until our lips were almost touching. "Do you think we'll get thrown out if I kiss you?" He teased.
"Chief Swan may be tempted, but I think he'll behave." I grinned. "It's definitely worth the risk."
That was all it took for him to lean down just a bit more until his lips were on mine, and the rest of the world melted away.
We continued to kiss as the song played on. When it finally ended so did the kiss and we slowly walked back to our table.
Rose and Alice coaxed me back out during 'Bad Romance' and 'Pokerface', much to Edward's delight, and I was in his arms once more during 'Love Story'.
As Taylor sang her heart out, I glance around again and was surprised to see Charlie dancing with Miss, I mean Suzanne, North.
I wonder what that means.
After Forks High had crowned the prom king and queen, the DJ began a musical tribute to Michael Jackson. Edward and I danced to a couple of the songs before retreating to our table for a break. While snapping photos with our friends, I heard the opening strains of my very favorite Michael Jackson song, 'Thriller'.
I let out a little squeal of excitement because this was a dance I knew better than even Rosalie. She excitedly grabbed my arm before pushing me toward the dance floor. I was so nervous that I almost chickened out. That was until I felt a warm hand grab mine and tug. I let Edward lead me to the floor, where we both started to 'zombie dance'.
Turns out he was also a closet 'Thriller' fan just like me, and had expertly memorized the dance moves. I grinned at him as we, along with about twenty other zombies took over the dance floor.
Rose laughed and shouted. "You two dorks so deserve each other."
Edward and I just laughed in response.
Before the night was over, we were able to get Alice and Chris alone again. "I can't thank you enough for this." I said with a motion toward the dance floor.
"Did it make you happy Bella?" Alice asked with a smile.
"So very happy Alice." I answered.
Chris beamed. "Edward?" He questioned.
"It has been a wonderful night Chris; I can't begin to think of how to repay you for this." Edward said in response.
Alice and Chris were both beaming then. "Edward, you and Bella are family. No thanks or repayment will ever be necessary." Chris told us sincerely.
Edward and I hugged them both.
-V&V—
"So, we're all meeting for breakfast after Mass tomorrow at the diner." Rose announced as we exited the gym. I was surprised to find both Sidney and Lou waiting for us outside.
Edward must have phoned them.
"Which one of you gentlemen gets the keys to my baby?" Edward asked them.
Sidney answered by pointing to Lou. "Give them to him. I lost the bet."
Lou looked very pleased as he drove away behind the wheel of the Vanquish, Sidney watched after him with a scowl.
Edward's hope was that the paps would think that it was him driving the Vanquish, and would follow Lou all the way back to Seattle.
The plan seemed to work because there was no sign of a single pap when Sidney drove us to Charlie's, Rose and Emmett following in their vehicle.
Because Charlie's house was limited on space, Chris, Alice, Jasper and Sidney had rooms booked at a Bed and Breakfast on the outskirts of town.
I tried to abide by my Dad's wishes, and stay in my own room all night, but sometime around three a.m., I woke and couldn't go back to sleep. I slipped downstairs to get a drink and to, if I were being honest, check on Edward who was sleeping on the living room sofa for the second night in a row.
As I entered the darkened room, I heard him say my name.
Was he awake?
"Bella….Bella no.." He moaned and then mumbled something unintelligible after that. I rushed over to the sofa, and as soon as I could see his face, the look of distress I found there brought me to tears.
I squeezed in beside him on the sofa. I was pretty sure he was still asleep when he wound his arms tightly around me, making it difficult to breathe. I looked at his face and gently called his name. "Edward, please wake up."
"Bella…." He moaned, and I noticed that his face was covered in perspiration, his hair soaked with it.
"Edward, please you're scaring me." I whispered as I rubbed the side of his face with my hand. His eyes started to flutter open. When they finally opened all the way, his gaze focused on me.
"Bella" He rasped out. "Are you really here?"
"Yes Edward, you were having a nightmare." I soothed.
"I couldn't find you. I tried, but you slipped right through my fingers. I ran for hours through the woods. I couldn't find you." He scrubbed his face with his hand before pulling me close to him again.
"It was just a dream Edward. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. Please try to forget it."
"I would if this were the first time." He mumbled.
"This is a recurring dream?" I asked.
He nodded sheepishly. "They started while I was still in England. I've had the same dream a couple times since I've gotten back."
"Edward, you were exhausted. You were working fourteen hour days just before you came home, and we really haven't had a lot of 'down time' since your return."
He calmed down and took a deep breath. "You're right."
My curiosity got the better of me then. "What happened in the dream?"
He hesitated. "It was nothing. One minute you were there, and then you disappeared. I ran through the woods, but couldn't find you. Just a silly dream."
As usual, he didn't want me to worry, so he played it off as nothing. "Edward, I know it was more than that. Look at you, you're still pretty shaken."
He grimaced and shook his head. "All this over a dream" He muttered. "I'm such a pussy." He remarked with a chuckle.
I smiled, glad that he seemed to be returning to normal. "I don't think so. Even in your dreams, you're trying to save me." I fluttered my eyelashes at him, trying to lighten the mood. "My hero."
He laughed then and pulled me closer. "Stay here?" He whispered.
"Always." I answered.
I lay awake for a while, until I heard Edward's breathing turn slow and rhythmic, and then I followed him into a deep, dreamless sleep.
-V&V—
"Pardon the vulgarity ladies, but you, Emmett Swan, are one sick sumbitch." Jasper glared at Emmett from his side of the booth. We were all at the Forks diner having breakfast the day after prom. I wasn't certain what Emmett had done to deserve Jasper's wrath, but it must have been pretty bad to rattle the normally passive Mr. Whitlock.
What was my brother's response to Jasper's anger? He was laughing his ass off, of course.
Edward, Chris, Charlie and I all asked with one voice, "What's going on?"
By the looks of things, Rose and Alice already knew, because they were both trying desperately to suppress their giggles.
Jasper, still looking pissed turned toward the rest of us to explain. "A few days ago, Emmett informed me that, because he was getting married in a Catholic church, everyone in the wedding party had to go to confession beforehand, whether they were Catholic or not." He explained in an angry tone.
"Emmett Swan, you big liar." I said to my brother. Emmett grinned and shrugged.
"I have been agonizing over this for days." Jasper muttered while shaking his head. "I mean, literally waking up in the middle of the night, and freaking out about it. I had no idea how to make a confession."
"This morning, I finally decided to ask my sister if there was any way I could still be in the wedding without going through that, only to find out that whistledick here had been playing me for a fool."
We all cracked up at Jasper's story and his indignant tone. Charlie was laughing so hard that his face turned blood red, and I started to fear he was having a heart attack.
Jasper just continued to glare at my brother.
After everyone calmed down and were busily eating, Emmett had the nerve to speak to Jasper again. "So Franny, I'm a little curious."
Jasper looked up from his food and frowned at Emmett.
"What sins have you committed that made you so terrified of the confessional?" He asked with a smirk.
Jasper narrowed his eyes as he sat back against his seat. He casually lifted the napkin from his lap and dabbed at his mouth before answering, his eyes never leaving Emmett's face. "There's only one sin that troubles me, and it's one that I haven't committed, yet, but am sorely tempted to do so."
Emmett quirked an eyebrow in question.
Jasper smirked. "You see, I have the strong desire to commit a murder. I don't really fear the wrath of God, because I believe that even He'd be on my side in this particular instance. I do, however love my sister very much, and I know she'd miss your sorry ass were I to follow through." He smirked at Emmett and winked at Rose.
Rose looked at Emmett with a smug expression, "I told you not to mess with Jasper. You are playing with fire." She said before pecking his lips.
Emmett was unimpressed. "Stop talking shit Francesca, I know deep down that you really like me." He grinned as he took a bite of waffle.
We all laughed. I was pretty sure that Jasper had been joking, at least I hoped he had been. But I had also taken note of how much he favored his father in both his speech and his mannerisms.
And Colonel Whitlock is one scary motherfucker.
-V&V—
Edward and I were exhausted when we arrived back in Seattle. As tired as I was, I needed to do some homework, so I insisted he take a nap while I worked quietly on my laptop.
After finishing the school assignments, I printed off three short stories I'd written, trying to decide which one to send to the publisher. Unable to decide on my own, I asked Edward's opinion when he woke up.
While he read the stories, I worked on my list for Dr. Miller. I had an appointment the next day, and made an honest attempt at finding more things I liked about myself.
I could almost hear Edward's voice in my ear as concentrated. I looked at what I'd already written, and decided I could do better.
I immediately added my writing talent to the list. I then thought about the answers that Edward, Rose and Emmett had provided for the assignment, and realized that quite a few of the things mentioned were also things I liked about myself. Before long, I had my list of ten. Although, in the beginning, it had been a hard-fought battle to even come up with three, now being able to complete the list, made me feel almost giddy inside. I found that I was actually proud of myself.
I looked up and saw Edward watching me.
How long had I been sitting here, lost in my own thoughts?
He smiled. "I've read them all Bella." He took a breath. "They're very good. I'm not surprised that someone is interested in publishing your work." He continued to study me.
"What?" I asked, beginning to feel self-conscious.
He shook his head, still smiling. "Nothing, I just.." He took another breath. "I had no idea that you had such a vivid imagination. I'm quite impressed."
I knew I was blushing then. "You've read my work before."
"Yes, but those were all writing assignments for school, with strict parameters. I've never read something that sprang one hundred percent from that amazing brain of yours until now."
I swallowed, suddenly nervous. "So you think the publisher will like my work?"
"God yes" He rushed out. "Although I don't have any experience with publishing, I'm an avid reader. I know what I like and I don't think I'm that different from the vast majority of people."
"Which story should I submit?" I bit my lip while awaiting his answer.
"That's the most difficult part." He paused as he thought. "I'll have to admit that I'm partial to the story of the little boy and the swallow, but I'm sure that's because of our trip to Capistrano." He answered with a wink.
I smiled. "Our trip was my inspiration for the story." I gave him a quick peck on the lips. "That's the one I'll submit then."
-V&V—
"Nervous?" Edward asked as we sat in the waiting room of Dr. Miller's, Kim's, office.
I shrugged. "A little, I suppose." I admitted.
"Bella, you can go back now." Dr. Miller's receptionist informed.
I gave Edward a small smile before entering Kim's office.
"Hello again Bella" She greeted cheerily.
"Hi Kim." I answered, although it felt awkward to use her first name. I sat in the same chair I'd sat in before, directly in front of the doctor's desk.
"Before we start, is there anything troubling you that we should discuss first?"
"I can't think of anything, other than the fact that my wedding preparations have the potential to overwhelm me." I gave her a small smile.
She tilted her head slightly as she thought about that. "You know Bella, even during the short time I've known you, I can tell that you are one of those people who will put others' wishes ahead of your own. You're not doing yourself or anyone else any favors if, in your efforts to please them, your wedding day turns out to be miserable for you and Edward."
I nodded as I considered her words.
"My advice to you would be to take a deep breath and step back for a moment. Think about exactly what you want, and then have an honest conversation with those family and friends involved."
Admittedly, I hadn't been honest with Esme, or even with Edward for that matter.
"Helpful advice?" She asked.
I smiled and nodded. "Very."
"How did you progress with your assignment?" She asked.
"I didn't have a problem compiling a list of what others thought of me, but I had some difficulty with the one I had to compile for myself." I admitted.
"I'm not surprised. If it had been the other way round, you'd be an egomaniac, and we all know that's not true." She announced with a chuckle.
"The purpose of the exercise was to open your eyes to what others thought of you, and possibly make you realize that you like those same qualities in yourself."
"I'd have to say the exercise was successful then doctor. It took me a while, but when I finally stopped being stubborn and committed some thought to it, I finished the list."
"Good." She smiled.
We spoke a while longer about the marriage classes Edward and I were taking at church, and what I expected to get out of them. I told her how school was going, and about the possibility of being published.
She was thrilled for me.
We then got into a discussion about how dreary my life had been before Edward and I had found each other. She listened quietly as I expressed my thoughts.
"Bella, I know that you believe Edward saved you, and in many respects that is true. There is no doubt that your love for each other has changed your life, but I'd like you to also consider the possibility that you weren't as far gone as you believe. Just the fact that you were open to those feelings of romantic love proves that you had never truly given up on yourself or your future."
It was funny. I'd always imagined Edward as having been the one riding in on the white horse, saving me from my dreary existence. Dr. Miller seemed to believe that I did at least some of the work myself.
Okay, so maybe I hopped on the horse, but Edward was still my knight. He saved me, and continues to do so, on a daily basis. I will never fall back into depression as long as I have him by my side.
"Now, I don't see a need to schedule the next appointment any sooner than a month from now. That is unless something arises, and you feel the need to see me before then." She said with a smile. "I would, however, like to see both you and Edward together at least once before your wedding. Do you think that would be possible?"
"I'm sure it would be. He actually came with me today. I think he was hoping to meet you."
"Is that so?" She grinned. "Well then, let's go get him. We'll see how your intended handles spontaneity." She said with a mischievous grin.
Oh my.
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