‘Bellaboo come on, it’s low tide, let’s hike to the tidal pools.’
‘I don’t know Emmett, I fell in last time.’
Emmett laughed. ‘I’ll hold your hand, you won’t fall, promise.’
He held my hand, and I didn’t fall. ‘Well, Belly, you made it a whole year in Arizona. Now you‘re going into the third grade, and you’ve made friends, sounds like you’re doing okay.’
‘Yeah, but Mommy sometimes says she wants to move to Florida or California. I don’t want to move unless we move back home.’ I said sadly, as I watched the crabs dig into the wet sand.
‘Sorry Belly, I don’t think that’s going to happen.’ Emmett looked sad too.
‘But Dad and I will still see you all the time, just like we did this year.’
‘I just miss home.’ I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. ‘Emmett, when I grow up, I’m never leaving Forks. I’m staying with you and Daddy forever.’
I started to cry as I hugged him.
Emmett smiled. ’Belly, someday you might get married, or get a job far away. We probably won’t live here forever, well, Dad will,’ he chuckled, ’But, even if we don’t live near each other, we’ll still visit all the time.’
I thought about this. When you’re a grown up it’s easy to get on a plane any time you want. ’I’m still coming back here to live.’ I muttered stubbornly.
Emmett laughed. ’If you do, then I’ll stay in Washington too.’
I looked at him through my tears ’Pinkie swear?’ I asked.
‘Pinkie swear.’ He said with a big smile as he hooked my pinkie in his.
‘But right now, we’d better head back, Dad will start to worry.’ Emmett said, and then took my hand in his.
I gave him a hug. ’I love you brother bear.’ I said as I sniffled into his shirt.
He sighed. ’I love you too Bellaboo.’
I could feel myself starting to wake up, but I could still hear the ocean. “Bella.“ A familiar voice said softly. I slowly blinked open my eyes. The space around me was unfamiliar.
Think Bella.
Oh yes, Edward. I’m at the beach with Edward.
The same Edward who was lying beside me, watching me as I woke up.
“Bella you were crying.“ He looked at me with concern as he wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“It was my dream. I’m okay.” I said as I snuggled close to him.
Edward laid back so I could rest my head on his chest. One of his hands drew lazy circles on my back. He sighed. “What were you dreaming about?”
I thought about that. “It wasn’t a dream really, it was a memory from when I was a child.”
“You said Emmett’s name and then a few minutes later, you started to cry.” He whispered.
“I’m sorry. I was remembering how sad I was as a child every time I had to leave Dad and Emmett. I promised myself that when I grew up, I’d never be far away from the people I love.” I said quietly.
Edward sighed and wrapped both arms around me. “I wish I could make that promise.” He muttered sadly.
“Edward, we’ve talked about this. I don’t know why this trip is making you so anxious. We’ll be together again before you know it.” I smiled up at him.
He was quiet for a minute. “You’re right as usual Miss Swan. Come on, let’s enjoy today, I’ll leave my worrying for another time.” He sat up, and started tugging my hand.
“What have you got planned?” I asked nervously.
“Well, I thought we’d start with a drive up the coast, that is unless you wanted to surf or play golf?” He responded with a smirk.
“You know me, golf it is.” I said sarcastically.
Alice had packed a pretty grey sundress. The almost April temperatures in southern California would be just warm enough for me to wear it. When I came out of the bathroom, Edward was ready to go. He looked like a tourist in his khakis pants and white button down shirt.
A gorgeous male model tourist Bella.
After a light breakfast in the hotel restaurant, we stepped outside. The valet was just bringing the Vanquish up. Edward set his ipod in the dock, selected a play list, and we were off.
“What’s with the old music?” I asked as Edward drove the Vanquish along the Pacific Coast highway.
I’d noticed, for the few minutes that I was actually awake during the drive yesterday, that Edward had played a lot of music from the 1940’s. Today, it was more of the same.
“When I’m filming, I try to immerse myself in as many things that are pertinent to my character as possible. One way is through the music he would listen to.”
“Oh” I nodded understandingly. “World War II movie, 1940’s music. Makes sense.”
He nodded. “My parents’ musical taste is very eclectic, therefore I listened to a lot of different types of music. Being a musician, I appreciate just about every kind of music there is. There isn’t much that I dislike.” He said smiling.
I could tell this was a subject close to his heart.
“I hope you’re never trapped in a car with Emmett. His music choices drive me crazy. Too much Rap.” I muttered.
“I don’t dislike Rap, Bella.” He said grinning. “In fact, I think a lot of it is fascinating.”
“I kind of like this music.” I said as I nodded toward the ipod. “I don’t know, there’s something about it, I guess it’s kind of soothing.”
“I’ve listened to little else except World War II era music while filming.” He was silent for a moment, thinking, then he cut his eyes at me before speaking. “Speaking of filming, I need to tell you something about this movie Miss Swan, something unpleasant.”
I didn’t know what to think.
Is he going to be gone longer than planned? No, he would’ve told me that.
“What is it Edward?” I asked, a little apprehensive of his answer.
He clasped my hand, still shooting glances at me. “Well, I need to let you know that my character dies. I think it’s better that you know ahead of time, so you don’t have the same reaction you did when you watched Time Stands Still.” He said with a smug smile. He was teasing me.
“Edward, I’m glad my suffering amused you.” He immediately lost his smile. “I’d like to see your reaction if you had to watch me die.”
Edward blanched, and I immediately felt bad for my snippy remark. “I’m sorry Edward, I know it’s not the same. I don’t know why I said that.” I patted his hand. “So, tell me more about this movie.” I said, trying to change the subject.
I watched him blink a few times before his expression softened, as he thought about his current film. A smile pulled at his lips. Edward really enjoyed his craft. “You already know part of it. Three boyhood friends, they lose touch after the stock market crashes and my character’s family loses everything.” He glanced at me “His father commits suicide, and the mother and children have to move away to live with relatives.”
This movie sounds depressing.
“Still with me?” He asked grinning.
“Yes Edward, the carcolepsy hasn’t kicked in yet.” I smiled back.
He barked out a laugh. “Okay, so all three friends meet up again in England, on the eve of the D-day invasion. Long story short, my character dies saving one of the other two.”
Yep, depressing.
“I don’t quite understand the title though, The Harvest of Avarice?”
“Well the title translates literally to mean the harvest of greed. The easy interpretation would be, through the father’s greed, the family loses everything. They were brought lower than most, especially with his selfish act of suicide. I go a little further with my interpretation though. If my character hadn’t gone through this horrific chain of events, he would have stayed the pompous rich little asshole he was as a child. Because he lost everything, he learned what was really important, the ensuing fifteen years literally remade him into a man who would die to save another. Therefore, his sacrifice is the true harvest of his father‘s selfishness. It’s very powerful.” Edward was lost in his thoughts.
Could I love this man any more than I do? He’s perfect.
I looked at him as I considered. “It will be difficult, but I guess I’ll watch it.” I whispered.
He smiled at me, squeezed my hand and said “I love you Bella.”
“Love you too.”
We continued holding hands as we rode along listening to Glenn Miller and his orchestra. After a few minutes, Edward turned the car around, and we headed back down the coast the way we’d come.
Eventually, we passed the hotel and continued on. I started to feel sleepy.
“Oh no you don’t Miss Swan.” He said, startling me out of my almost nap. He laughed. “We’re almost there, don’t pass out on me now.”
He let go of my hand to change the song on his ipod. “I even found the perfect song.” He grinned as ‘When The Swallows Come Back To Capistrano’ played through the speakers.
About a minute later, we passed the sign ‘Welcome to Capistrano, Home of the swallows’.
I turned to Edward with a smile. “You’re kind of sappy Mr. Movie Star.”
“Guilty.” He answered, returning my smile, just as the song ended.
As Edward parked the car, I noticed a few stares from passersby. There was no question that the Vanquish was a head-turner. As soon as Edward exited and walked around to my side and people started to realize who he was, I saw more than one jaw drop.
Yep, who cares about the car when they can look at Edward.
I chuckled.
He took my hand and looked at me slyly “What are you thinking Miss Swan?” He grinned.
I smiled back. “Oh, just how jealous everyone is of me because I have such a hot boyfriend.” I blurted the truth.
“Hm. I think more people are looking at my gorgeous girlfriend.” He said as he stopped walking and pulled me into his arms. I couldn’t help myself, I put my arms around Edward’s neck as he leaned down to kiss me. The sweet simple kiss turned passionate almost immediately, with me running my hands through his hair, and Edward’s hands on my lower back pulling my body flush against his. The fog lifted from my brain just long enough to remember that we were standing in the middle of a sidewalk on a very public street.
I reluctantly pulled away and looked around.
As I could have guessed, quite a few people were staring. I could feel my blush starting, especially when I realized we were standing in front of the Basilica.
Bella, you are such a shameless hussy.
We behaved ourselves after that, walking hand in hand as we toured a couple of places, starting with the Old Mission. It was preserved in its damaged state for tourists to enjoy. After that, we walked back over to the Basilica. I, of course, had to go inside. It wouldn’t do for me to walk by without going in to say a prayer and light a candle. Maybe it would make up for my tawdry behavior earlier. I am so going to be struck by lightning one of these days.
I wouldn’t be surprised. You were practically having sex on the doorstep you trollop.
Again, we were greeted with more than a few stares, puzzled looks, and some smiles.
It was such a relaxing morning. I enjoyed the feel of the warm sun as we walked, knowing that back home it was probably only in the fifties and, most likely, raining. As nice as it was, I was still a little chilly. I’d stubbornly left my sweater back at the hotel. Edward noticed.
Of course Bella, he notices everything about you.
Before I knew it, he’d dragged me into a little shop that sold knit wraps, stoles and scarves and insisted I choose one. By the look on his face, I could tell there was no point arguing. I chose a simple red wrap, he paid before I had a chance to see the price tag of almost four hundred dollars!
Holy crap.
He heard me gasp, and narrowed his eyes at me after he took in my expression.
I kept my mouth shut, and put on the wrap.
After we’d spent a couple of hours touring historic sites and visiting the shops, Edward took me to lunch. We ate at a quaint little restaurant overlooking the Mission. It was warm enough to sit outside on their garden patio, so that’s what we did.
“Oh Edward, they have an extensive list of California wines, we should try one.”
Edward made a face like he’d just tasted something sour. “Um, Bella, I’m afraid that after yesterday, alcohol is not an option for us.”
Why? What is he talking about?
“Why would you say that?” I was puzzled.
“Bella, don’t you remember the moratorium?”
Moratorium? I really don’t understand. What happened yesterday?
I took a moment to try and think. Then it hit me. My memory of yesterday’s events came washing over me like a tidal wave. I started to panic, and covered my face with my hands.
“Oh Edward, please tell me I didn’t make a complete fool of myself in front of Johnny. What must he think of me?”
I wanted to cry. Before the tears welling up in my eyes had a chance to overflow onto my cheeks, Edward was out of his chair and crouched down beside me.
“Bella, don’t cry. There is no reason for that. Johnny’s a friend, I’ve known him for two years. Believe me when I say that he likes you.”
I looked at him from behind my hands, tears flowing. “Really?”
“Of course, when you were eating do you know what he told me?”
“That I’m insane and should be committed?” I asked.
Edward chuckled. “No, he whispered that I’d be a fool to ever let you get away from me. I had to agree.”
Edward always knew the perfect thing to say.
“I feel responsible for yesterday, I should never have let you drink without eating first.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand while looking regretful.
Now it was my turn to comfort him.
“Edward, no guilt trips. I’m a grown woman, although sometimes I don’t act like one. I do have to tell you something though.“
“Yes?“
“You know when I went to the ladies room before we left, our waitress was in there.“ His eyes widened in surprise. “And, she didn’t wash her hands!“ We both started laughing, then I stopped, thinking.
“What?“ He asked, noting my change of expression.
“Well, I don’t worry about me, I actually had a hepatitis shot last year before I did my student teaching.“
Edward patted my hand, “Bella, I know what you’re thinking. My dad’s a doctor remember. Because of my travel schedule, he makes sure that I get every possible immunization. No worries.“ He grinned. “I just can’t believe you turned out to be right about the waitress, that is just nuts.”
“Thank heavens I don’t drink too often, although I should report her. Yuck. Anyway, at least it takes alcohol to make me act like a fool, my brother doesn’t have that excuse.”
We both laughed. Thinking about Emmett, especially after my dream this morning, I suddenly missed the big goofball. We ordered our food, and while Edward visited the rest room, I decided to phone my brother.
“Joe’s morgue, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em” Emmett’s voice boomed over my cell phone.
“Hi Brother Bear” I said quietly.
Emmett, immediately in tune with my mood said, “What’s wrong sissy?” reverting back to one of his childhood terms of endearment.
“Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Missing the Emster are we?” He said with a certain amount of smugness.
“I guess.” I said grinning. “I had a dream, and you were in it.”
“Oh yeah?” He asked, intrigued. “Was I in my underwear?” He guffawed loudly.
“Emmett! You are so friggin weird.”
“Hey, just remember when my ads come out, you promised not to freak.”
“Oh geesh. Emmett, I don’t give a shit if I see you in your underwear!” I said in a raised voice. I looked around and noticed more than one person give me a dirty look. I mouthed ‘sorry’, and continued. “Anyway, the dream was actually a memory from the summer before third grade. We hiked to the tidal pools.”
He was quiet for a minute. “I remember that. You really wanted to come home to stay.”
Just then, Edward arrived back at the table.
“Yeah, it was hard being so far away.” I said quietly.
“I know, it was hard for Dad and me, we just tried to hide it. We missed you and Mom every day.“ His voice hitched a little. He cleared his throat.
“Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.” He thought for a moment. “I kind of want to talk to you about something anyway.”
Emmett actually sounds serious. Hmm this is perplexing.
“I have a few minutes if you want to talk now.” I answered.
“Nah, it’s not something I can go into over the phone. I’ll talk to you this weekend.”
“Okay, Bye Brother Bear.”
“Bye Bellaboo.”
Our food arrived, we’d both opted for seafood dishes, mine the seafood linguini, and Edward got the crab and chopped scallop cakes. We made sure to have a bite of each others, before polishing off our own. Everything was delicious.
After lunch, we headed back to the hotel. It was our last night there, and we wanted to spend more time on the beach.
--V&V--
“Edward, I think this may be the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen.” I smiled over at him.
We’d just finished our walk on the beach, and were sitting on the balcony of our suite, drinking soda. Edward refused to let me put a little rum in mine, informing me that my liver would thank him later.
Party pooper.
After we’d watched the sunset, and cuddled a little, I coaxed Edward into going out to a burger joint for dinner. I’d grown a little tired of the stiffness and formality of dining out. I wanted simple and casual.
As we sat enjoying our burgers and fries, I noticed that the eyes of every single person in the place were on us.
I noticed a couple of shy girls watching us intently, and as soon as Edward had taken his last bite of burger they timidly walked over.
At least they were polite enough to wait until we’d eaten.
“Um hi.” One of the girls said, flustered. “I was just wondering, I mean would it be okay, oh gosh, can I get a photo with you Mr. Masen?”
Edward gave her his most dazzling smile as he stood. “Of course. It’s Edward by the way. What’s your name?” He asked as he reached to shake her hand.
“I’m Claire, and this is my friend Robyn, we’re really big fans.” Claire squeaked out.
“Nice to meet you girls.” Edward answered smoothly.
Mr. Movie Star was in the house.
I was sure those girls felt the same way that I did when I first met Edward, and he inflicted that panty-dropping smile on me. I laughed to myself.
Edward looked over at me and winked.
To my surprise, the girls asked me to be in the photo. Before long, there were several others gathered around, also asking for photos. I watched Edward, who seemed to have a bottomless well of patience when talking to his fans. He was relaxed and happy, and really seemed interested in their lives.
Gah, Bella. I know, I know, lucky bitch.
As we drove back to the hotel, I watched Edward with a smile on my face. He glanced over.
“What?” He asked.
“Nothing.” I flushed.
“Definitely something.” He questioned.
“Okay, I don’t think you realize how nice that was, the way you treated your fans.”
“Oh” He shrugged it off. “It’s simple really, without my fans, I wouldn’t have a career. Sometimes, I get to show them how much I appreciate them. It makes us both happy.”
--V&V--
I sat on the edge of the bed biting my fingernail.
Bella, I thought you gave up that habit years ago.
I thought I did too. That was before my epiphany. This would be the first night I‘d spend with Edward, since my epiphany, in which I was stone, cold, sober. My head was swimming when Edward emerged from the bathroom looking seven different kinds of gorgeous in his sleeveless t-shirt and sleep pants. Looking at him, it was easy to think about tossing my inhibitions out the window, or in this case right out the French doors and off of the balcony.
“Hi” He said as he walked over and sat beside me.
“Hi” I answered. “and thank you” I continued.
“For what?”
“For today, believe me when I say that it was one of the best days of my life. The more time I spend with you, the more normal I feel.” I said sincerely.
“I’m glad you enjoyed today Bella. The time we spend together means the world to me.” Edward reached over and took my hand, holding it between both of his. “So” he started “Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”
How does he know?
I cleared my throat. “Bothering me?”
Edward reached for my chin, tilting my head up so he could look into my eyes. “Yes Bella, something’s been bothering you for a couple of days now. Please tell me before I lose my mind.” He pleaded with me.
Of course Edward would know. He constantly watches you. He’s become very astute at reading your reactions.
I sighed. “It’s just that, Monday night we got really close. I mean, we went a little farther then I intended.” I eyed him nervously. His calm expression didn’t change much, but his eyes began to look sorrowful. “Before you take the blame, I want you to stop right there. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. I know it’s just part of the natural course. We’re in love and it’s normal to want to show one another physically how much we mean to each other.”
I fidgeted with the hem of my nightgown as he nodded.
“I have several reasons why I don’t want to go any further physically, yet.”
“Which are?” Edward asked.
“Well, don’t be upset okay? But it’s only been a few days since you left me. I want to make sure that you won’t do that again.” Edward started to speak, but I silenced him with my finger on his lips. “No, Edward, I don’t think you’ll leave again, but time is the best way to prove that to me.”
He nodded.
“Next, we haven’t given the Tanya revelation enough time to resonate with the public. At the moment, all our feedback is positive. I believe that will fluctuate. I want to make sure our relationship is strong enough to weather anything. I know I'm not going anywhere, but you will have to learn to deal with negative things that are said about me. Again, time is the only way to gauge it.”
Edward looked at me, narrowing his eyes. “There’s something more Bella. What aren’t you telling me?”
He’s good. I don’t think I’ll ever lie to him and get away with it.
I took a deep breath. “Okay. It’s really hard to be apart from you. I think about you all the time, I mope around and drive everyone crazy.”
He smiled.
“I’m just afraid that if we take that next step, I know it will be even harder to be apart.” I knew I wouldn’t be able to explain this properly.
“Bella, I’ve been thinking about this also. Sometimes it scare me how much our minds are in tune with each other. I think it would be a good idea to wait a while for that next step.” He began to rub soothing circles on the back of my hand. “You mean so much to me. I don’t want to make love to you, and then travel halfway around the world. I’d rather we have some kind of permanent commitment.” He looked into my eyes as he said this. He actually seemed afraid that I would reject him.
Silly boy.
“Oh Edward, I agree” He seemed to relax in relief. “I was worried that when you would leave me, I’d feel so lost. I want to feel that I truly belong to you. Don’t get me wrong, I know you love me and would come back to me.” I was stumbling again. “It’s such a huge step for me. I guess I found out that I‘m old fashioned.” I laughed. “Old fashioned but with the mouth of a sailor. Please tell me you‘re not disappointed.”
He laughed and shook his head. “I‘d have asked you to marry me weeks ago, if I‘d thought you‘d say yes.”
What the..? I definitely heard the words marry me come out of Edward’s mouth.
“What?”
“It’s just that as soon as I got to know you, I was sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you Bella. Now you’re telling me that you feel the same way, I’m definitely not mad, I’m actually floored at the moment.”
He pulled me to him. “I want us to get married. When I have to travel, I want you with me. I want to have a family with you. I don’t want us to be apart if we can avoid it.”
Edward really wants to marry me.
“Edward, don’t ask me yet.” I blurted.
He looked taken aback by my statement. “Edward, I want all of that too, but just wait a while. Charlie would flip his shit if you proposed this soon.”
He relaxed as he thought about that. “Okay, but now that I know this can really happen, don’t expect me to wait too long Miss Swan. I want the Mike Newton’s of the world to know that you’re off the market.” He smiled and winked.
“Oh, is that the only reason Edward?” I grinned. “Just deflating Mike’s hopes?”
He growled. “Well, there’s also the fact that I never have to let you go, you’ll be mine forever. I get to keep you, and take care of you.”
He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips against mine. “Could you handle forever with me Bella?” He brushed his lips against mine again, and then his lips met mine firmly.
I couldn’t answer him, I just moaned as my lips slid open. I let his tongue explore my mouth, then I did the same as Edward’s hand cupped the back of my neck, keeping me close. “Was that a yes Miss Swan?” He breathed into my mouth.
“Yes” I breathed back.
No interrupting the kissing Mister!
As our kiss grew in intensity, our bodies pushed closer together. I began to lean back, and pull Edward with me, until I was fully lying on the bed, with his body pressed on top of mine, never releasing each other from the kiss.
When my foggy brain registered that I could feel the evidence of my affect on him, as his body pressed against me, I decided we needed to slow things down. If we didn’t, my little confession of fifteen minutes ago would mean absolutely nothing.
I slowed the tempo of our kisses and try to force a little space between our bodies. Edward sensed what I wanted and began to pull away.
“No, don’t pull away. I want to feel you close.” I whispered, as I held close against him.
He sighed and I immediately felt horrible. “Edward, I’m sorry. This is probably so unpleasant for you, I feel so mean and selfish.”
“Bella, you are the most pleasant form of torture I could think of. Don’t feel bad baby. Remember, I’ve waited a lot of years for you, without even knowing why I waited. I can be patient.” With that, he kissed me again.
“But Bella” He breathed against my lips. “Everyone’s opinion be damned, I will be asking soon.”
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