He pulled me down to sit on the picnic blanket which was spread in front of the fire once again, the containers filled with our dinner resting in the center.
"I still feel exceptionally guilty for last night," he began, causing me to roll my eyes. He chuckled and shook his head. "You'd gone to so much trouble sweetheart, that I didn't want your plans to go to waste."
I wrapped my arms around him and smiled. "Thank you Edward," I breathed. "Sometimes you are too good to be true."
Edward laughed lightly. "You're silly," he said before pressing his lips to mine. "Bella, as I've told you before, you are the most important thing in my world and, even though I know I'm not perfect, when I screw up I will always try my best to make amends."
I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Edward, you never screw up."
He eyed me skeptically.
"Don't say it," I warned. "If you apologize once more I'll scream."
He looked amused. "Really Bella?"
"Yes," I tried to hide my smile. "I may even throw a fit."
"A fit?" He grinned.
"Yes, you needn't look so smug. I am female; I can throw a fit with the best of them."
He laughed then. "Bella, I would be willing to bet that the last time that happened you were still in diapers."
I rolled my eyes. "You're probably right," I muttered.
He hugged me then. "Well, since you won't let me apologize again, let's eat because I've got plans for you later Mrs. Cullen," he gave me a meaningful look.
The promise behind that look caused my girly bits to come to life immediately. I sat back on my heels and pressed my thighs together, willing my traitorous body to behave.
I wasn't sure why I bothered. Nothing I did would alter the fact that I was defenseless against the powers of Sexward.
"In lieu of wine, I thought iced tea the best option," he said as he poured us each a glass.
After we'd eaten and cleared away the dishes, Edward gathered the cushions from our new sofa and spread them on the blanket, and we lay back snuggling against each other before the roaring fire.
"This is so comfortable, and romantic," I whispered to him.
He nuzzled his face into my hair and breathed deeply. "I can't tell you how happy it makes me to be in this house with you again, sweetheart."
"Had enough apartment sex?" I teased.
He chuckled and nodded. "I think I'm good."
"You certainly are…" I began in a suggestive tone, causing him to chuckle again.
Suddenly Edward rolled me onto my back until he was hovering over me. "Well, you know what they say Mrs. Cullen, practice does make perfect."
"If my opinion counts for anything Mr. Cullen, you've always been pretty damned perfect." I leaned up to kiss his lips.
"Mmm," he hummed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around me. "I wish that were true."
"Okay, let's just say that you're perfect for me," I breathed the words.
"Likewise my love," he murmured. The fire was warm against our bodies, but Edward's lips were warmer as they engulfed mine in a passionate, loving kiss.
I will never tire of his kisses, his soft words, his beautiful body…
Unexpectedly, Edward pulled away then and stood. "I'll be right back." I watched as he stepped over to the book shelf which was along the same wall as the fireplace, and pushed a button on the iHome. He turned and sauntered back toward me, pulling his shirt off as he did so; the low sultry strains of Dire Straits beginning to filtering through the room.
It was as if he knew what that music did to me….
High and dry in the long hot day
Lost and lonely in every way
Got the flats all around me sky up above
I need a little water of love
Edward knelt down in front of me and pulled me up to my knees as well. He kissed me again, slowly and deeply as his hands untied the robe and gently slipped it from my shoulders. As soon as it was clear of my arms I, feeling bolder than usual, reached for the button of his jeans.
He continued to kiss me as he let me work, until the button and zipper were undone. He stood, pulling me with him and yanked my nightie over my head before ridding himself of both his jeans and boxer briefs.
There we stood, both naked, Edward's arms around me in the warm glow of the fire. "I love you so much baby," he breathed before kissing me again.
Water of love deep in the ground
No water here to be found
Some day baby when the river runs free
It'll carry that water of love to me
Edward's fingertips traced along my back as we kissed while my hands were splayed across his chest.
I slowly pulled my lips from his and looked into his eyes, trying to express without words how much he meant to me. Would he reject my attempts once again?
Please Edward, let me...
Keeping my hands on his chest, I dropped slowly to my knees. I slid my hands down his body, first over his sculpted chest and then his toned abdomen, until I rested my left hand on his hip and grasped his erection gently with the other.
I looked up to find his blazing green eyes boring into mine as I tentatively began to stroke him. I tightened my grip a bit and increased the tempo of my strokes while Edward's fingertips began to trail back and forth along my upper arms.
Now was the moment of truth.
Will he push me away?
Again.
I kept eye contact as I swiped my tongue along his erection from base to tip, stopping there to swirl it around the head, once, twice…
Edward licked his lips and inhaled a ragged breath, his eyes never leaving mine.
I decided to go for the gusto, and wrapped my lips around him, bracing myself for possible rejection. Edward's hands moved up to my shoulders, but instead of pushing me away, he gripped them firmly. "Oh God…" he murmured before throwing his head back so that I could no longer see his face.
I brought him further into my mouth and then moved back until I'd pulled him almost all the way out while keeping my mouth closed tightly around him. "Bella, fuck," he grunted, his voice strained.
Did he want me to stop? Am I doing this wrong?
I pushed him deeper into my mouth, and this time when I eased him out, I made sure to swirl my tongue around the tip again. The first indication I had that the noises Edward was making were pleasurable ones, was when he flexed his hips, pushing in and out of my mouth in synchronization with my slow rhythm.
"Oh baby, that feels amazing," his voice husky.
The feeling of having him in my mouth was different; I couldn't say that I disliked it, but Edward's response to what I was doing… that I loved. It made me feel powerful and sexy.
Eventually, he did pull me up to stand and kissed my lips, hard. "Fuck, I don't want to come in your mouth baby, but I'm going to return the favor. Come on, lie down for me."
Edward helped me to lie back on the cushions and positioned his body between my parted legs. He then proceeded to kiss and lick his way from my neck to navel. "Bend your legs," he whispered as he grasped them. I did as he asked so that he could spread them wide.
As he'd done many times before, he then used his fingers and tongue to make me squirm. At least this time I didn't feel that twinge of guilt, because this time, I'd been able to reciprocate.
When he sensed I couldn't take any more, he rose up and moved back up my body until his lips were hovering over mine. I braced myself when I felt the tip of his erection poised at my entrance.
Edward traced my lips with his tongue and then kissed them tenderly as he slowly eased inside me.
"You're always so wet and warm… oh Bella…" he breathed as he pushed all the way inside. "I love you so much baby."
"Mmm Edward.." I moaned.
"What baby? Tell me what you want." He asked as he moved.
Oh….
"Harder," I panted out.
As soon as the word passed my lips, his thrusts became more forceful, the rhythm faster, as I raised my hips to meet his.
He changed the angle of his movements, causing each thrust to hit a spot deep inside, and suddenly I was there… right on the edge…
I moaned again, lost in a haze of sensation as my body began to tense.
Too much….
"Come for me Bella," Edward whispered before taking my ear lobe gently between his teeth and moving his hand down so that he could tease my bundle of nerves, gently massaging and circling with his fingers and thumb.
"Ungh.." I cried out as I began to clench hard around him, my body exploding in an orgasm that shook me from head to toe.
Edward thrust again, and once more, before his body went rigid. "Bella," he moaned, sending a shiver through me as he thrust hard one last time and then stilled before collapsing on top of me.
Once our breathing calmed somewhat, I laced my fingers into his hair and left a gentle kiss on his cheek.
-V&V—
"Why did we decide to do this again?" I asked Edward as we were riding to Forks with Emmett and Rose.
Edward smirked. "Don't look at me Isabella. You were the one that wanted to ride with your brother."
It was true. In a moment of sheer and utter stupidity, I'd thought that riding with Emmett and Rose to Forks was a good idea. We'd planned this weekend for a while, knowing it would be the only one this season where Emmett wouldn't have a game.
The paps wouldn't think to follow us from Rose and Emmett's house, especially since we were riding in their Hummer, and the three hour drive would give me a chance to have a nice long talk with Rose; something I hadn't had in quite a while.
I'd failed to take into account the fact that my brother could be a pain in the ass, but even his goofy antics were minor compared to what else we had to endure during this particular ride.
The moment we piled into the Hummer, Rose explained the presence of the unexpected passenger seated between me and Edward.
"During our parenting class two nights ago, each couple was handed a baby doll to keep until next class. The doll has a computer chip in it which records how well we care for it," She said with a weary voice. "It's supposed to simulate taking care of a real infant, but if that's true, I'll never make it as a mother," she added, almost in tears.
Emmett patted her hand soothingly as he drove. "Babe, you're going to be a great mother, and our son is going to be a great kid. He's not going to act anything like Gollum back there."
My ears perked up at that, "Gollum?"
Emmett nodded. "Just look at him," he directed. "He looks like Gollum, and he acts like an asshole."
Edward and I laughed. "Emmett, how can a doll act like an asshole?" I looked at the plastic infant strapped in the car seat beside me.
He does resemble Gollum…
"Trust me Bells, he's an asshole. When they cry, it's supposed to be like a real baby. They either want a bottle, a diaper change, or to sleep. Rosie and I were up half the night. There was no pleasing that little fucker."
Edward and I laughed again. Our laughs were cut short by the sudden screams which began to emanate from baby Gollum.
"Shit," Rose muttered. "Here we go again."
Edward and I tried to quiet the little thing by sticking its fake bottle in its mouth; I even changed its fake diaper. Emmett was right, it wouldn't shut up. The horrid screeching continued off and on during the entire ride to Forks.
"Can't you strap it to the roof?" Edward asked in exasperation.
"Tempting," Emmett admitted. "Unfortunately that computer chip is very sensitive. It can pick up if the doll is dropped or even moved too suddenly. I'd be afraid of strapping it up there."
"Jesus," Edward muttered as he shook his head.
"What does it matter Emmett?" Rose began, "We're going to flunk the class anyway," she stuttered through her tears.
"Babe, don't cry," Emmett said as he held her hand.
I glared at the demon spawn, still screeching at my side. Then I remembered what Emmett and Rose had planned for tonight. "Are you two taking Gollum with you to dinner?" Since he'd missed his class reunion while he and Rose were in Europe, Emmett had planned to have dinner with a bunch of his old classmates.
Rose wiped her eyes and turned in order to face me fully. "I, uh, was hoping that you and Edward would watch it for us."
I grimaced. "Oh, Rose…"
"That's fucking unlikely," Edward blurted before I could answer.
Rose started to sniffle again.
"Rose, I'm sorry…" his tone more conciliatory. "I mean, maybe if we hadn't seen and heard the little freak in action.. What I mean to say is that we will be more than happy to babysit for your son when he arrives, but if Bella and I have to watch that thing," he gestured toward Gollum, "I'm afraid I'll throw it out the window."
I nodded in agreement.
"But, we can't take it with us," her voice rose in alarm.
"Calm down babe. Somehow I knew Edward would be a pussy about this, and my sister's getting just like him."
"Hey," I defended.
"I'm just kidding," Emmett said with a snicker. "I already spoke with Pops. He said he'd be glad to babysit; says he needs the practice."
"I bet you didn't tell Dad everything," I challenged.
"Hell no I didn't," he boomed. "And if you don't want to get stuck dealing with Chucky, you'd better keep your mouth shut."
I hated keeping things from my Dad, but on the other hand the demon spawn made me want to jump from a moving vehicle.
I made the spur of the moment decision that Edward and I would borrow Charlie's truck and go out… somewhere…. anywhere… as long as it wasn't within hearing distance of the banshee.
-V&V—
I couldn't concentrate on my game. Neither could Edward for that matter. And by the looks of everyone else in the bowling alley, neither could they; although their reasons were vastly different from ours.
The good citizens of Forks weren't concerned that they'd left Chief Swan to unknowingly babysit the spawn of Satan. They didn't feel tremendously guilty for not even having left a single word of warning. No. The patrons of the Sunset Lanes were more intent on staring at the Chief's former basket case of a daughter and her fuckhot movie star husband.
Whatever
"Edward, are you ready to leave?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I think it's probably time we bailed out your Dad."
I sighed. "Poor Charlie, I hope he survived."
When we reached the house and opened the front door, we were greeted with an eerie silence.
"Dad?" I called as I walked further inside.
"In here Bells," his voice sounded from the dining room.
Edward and I stepped around the corner to find him cleaning his shotgun. Gollum was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey Dad, how was your evening?"
"Good," he said in his usual monotone. "Suzanne came by. Made me dinner."
"That was nice," I said as my eyes darted everywhere. "Um, where's Gol.., er, where's the doll?"
Charlie set down his gun and folded his arms, resting them on the table in front of him. He then proceeded to not answer the question. "Funny thing about that doll; Suzanne said they have those things at the high school. Supposed to discourage teen pregnancy." He shrugged.
I grimaced. "Not just teens," I muttered as I seriously pondered whether or not I ever wanted children if that's how they behaved as infants.
Charlie narrowed his eyes. "That's the other thing," he said, "that doll, although I'm sure it would scare the hell out of some hormone- driven teenagers, and maybe that's a good thing," he shrugged again. "But, there's no way that thing accurately simulates the behavior of a real baby."
He had my full attention now. "Really?" Edward asked as we slid into chairs across the table from Charlie.
He nodded. "I'm not sure why Rose and Emmett are taking a parenting class. I can see taking a class on childbirth so you know what to expect at the hospital," he paused and I watched as his face paled a little. "Wish your mother and I had; I've never been more frightened than when I was in that delivery room, not even when someone was holding a gun on me," he said in barely a whisper.
Wow, not sure if this is convincing me to want a baby…
He looked into my eyes, "But it was worth it," he said with a smile. "And if Emmett and Rose need advice on taking care of the baby, they can always come to me. I've changed my fair share of diapers and you kids made it to adulthood without ever drinking the Clorox," he grinned, "although I'm not a hundred percent sure that your mom didn't drop Emmett on his head once or twice."
We laughed.
"Point is they don't need that class. I'm sure all it's done is make them dread parenthood and pushed their anxiety level through the roof," he pursed his lips as he thought. "When they get home I'm going to tell them as much, and explain why I yanked the computer chip out of the little bastard."
My mouth fell open in shock, before I laughed. "You shut it off?"
"Yep, and stuck it in the basement," he smiled, pleased with himself. "Suzanne called one of her teacher friends and they told us how to do it. It's a good thing, because my next option was to use it for target practice," he grinned cheekily, showing his dimples.
Both Edward and I threw our heads back and laughed loudly.
"Dad, you're a nut," was all I could say.
He put his hands up defensively. "Hey, that doll's either defective or it was programmed by some jackass who knows nothing about infants. Either way, no one in this house will suffer sleep deprivation tonight."
As I'd promised Edward, we spent the next hour or so watching home movies from when Emmett and I were children. At first it was difficult seeing and hearing my mother, but after a while I began to derive some comfort from it. I relaxed into Edward's side as he rubbed my shoulder soothingly, while Dad made comments here and there about what we were seeing.
Emmett and Rose arrived just as we were watching video of Emmett's seventh birthday party in which he insisted that I get the first piece of cake. There I sat in my high chair at fourteen months old, my big brown eyes peering out from behind a mask of blue and white icing. It not only covered my face, but my hands and arms almost to the elbows. Emmett, both the one in the video and the one sitting beside us, howled with laughter every time I shoved another handful of cake into my mouth.
"Good times Sissy," he said before leaning over and kissing the top of my head.
Later that night, after we'd crawled into my old bed, Edward wrapped his arms around me. "You okay?" he asked.
I nodded. "Yes. I'm glad we watched them even though it made me miss her more. Overall, it made me happy to see her again." I sighed and snuggled closer to him.
"I was glad to see them too Bella. It's strange, in a way it almost feels like I've been able to meet your mother now."
The thought made me happy.
After a few minutes of silence, Edward leaned down and kissed me. Then he kissed me again. Then he pushed his hand under my t-shirt until it rested on the bare skin of my back. "Is the door locked?"
"No," I whispered.
Edward slid out of bed and walked around it on his way to the door. I heard the click of the lock in the darkened room. Before he climbed back in bed, I watched his silhouette as he pulled off his t-shirt and threw it on the floor.
I tensed when he pulled me against him. "Edward, this bed creaks a lot."
"Ah huh," he murmured as I felt his warm lips kiss below my ear and then down my neck.
"I mean it's really noisy," I continued breathlessly. "My Dad can hear everything."
Edward stopped kissing me in order to reach over and press along the top of the old clock radio, hitting all the buttons until soft music began to play. "There, no excuses Mrs. Cullen. It will probably be a while before we visit Forks again, and I don't want to waste the opportunity to ravage you in your old bedroom."
"Perv," I giggled.
"Guilty," I could just make out his smile in the darkness.
And ravage me he did. As always happened when we made love, the world around us fell away, leaving me aware of nothing but Edward and I. In the end, I had no idea if I'd managed to remain quiet or not. I silently prayed that I wouldn't be embarrassed in the morning.
-V&V—
It was nice to see Father Pat again and to visit the church where Edward and I were married two months before. In some ways, it felt as if a lifetime had passed since that day. Every time I chanced a glance at my husband during Mass, he would give me a tender look and I wondered if he was thinking about our wedding day as well.
"Don't let him intimidate you," I whispered to Edward before I left the house with Rose. We were going to meet Suzanne for lunch, while Dad and Emmett took Edward out to the shooting range for a little target practice.
Edward grimaced. "I think he'd be tempted to shoot your brother before he would want to shoot me."
I laughed. "You're probably right."
Suzanne was waiting for us when we arrived at the diner.
As we ate, we shared light conversation about our weddings, Rose told us about Paris, and I talked about Barbados and London. Suzanne chatted about the current school year, and the goings on at Forks High.
After that, our conversation took on a more serious tone.
"I'm so glad we could have lunch today girls. I really want to get to know Charlie's family better."
"He's pretty important to you isn't he Suzanne?" Rose asked.
Suzanne wrapped her hands around her teacup and nodded. "He is," she said softly. Her words were simple enough, but I could sense the weight of the feeling behind them.
I began to feel uneasy. A knot was forming in my stomach, and I fought the urge to rise from my seat and flee the diner.
Why does this make me so uncomfortable?
Rose quirked an eyebrow at me; she knew me too well. Fortunately Suzanne never noticed my momentary panic.
She drew in a deep breath. "He makes me happy."
Rose nodded and smiled.
Suzanne eyed us nervously for a minute before continuing, "I was married once."
Rose and I sat there, quietly stunned by her revelation.
Suzanne looked at us again, "I'm surprised Charlie didn't say anything to you, but on the other hand, that's Charlie."
It was true; Charlie would never share personal information about anyone, even with his family. I'm sure he felt that Suzanne's past was her story to tell.
My Dad's such a good guy…
"Paul was in the army, we married soon after I graduated from college." She cleared her throat and began to play with a paper napkin that was lying on the table. "He was killed in a routine training exercise seven years later."
I noticed that Suzanne's hands were shaking as she told us of her pain. My apprehension at hearing how much Charlie meant to her was forgotten as I reached over and covered her hands with one of mine, offering what comfort I could.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered.
Rose nodded as well. "Oh Suzanne, I had no idea."
Suzanne offered a small smile. "It was a long time ago now. But sometimes, it feels like it happened yesterday…"
I knew the feeling.
"I don't have a lot of family, and Paul and I weren't able to have children, so when I finished out the school year, I decided to leave Colorado. I needed to escape the memories, so I sent my resume out to several schools on the west coast. Forks didn't pay as much as some of the others, but I couldn't resist the pull of the small town when they offered me a position." She smiled. "I love it here."
She may be perfect for Charlie after all.
"I'd been friendly with Charlie ever since you were my student Bella, but I was glad he never asked me out back then. I wasn't ready." She smiled softly, "Your Dad told me that, in his case, it wasn't ever an option while one of his children was hurting. So you see, his happiness has always been contingent upon yours and Emmett's."
I knew this of course, but somehow hearing it from a third party, brought it home.
"He's a great Dad," was all I was able to choke out as my eyes filled with tears.
"He's a wonderful man. I try not to compare him with Paul, but they are similar in many ways." Suzanne said wistfully. "Quiet, strong, stubborn," she chuckled. "But in one way, Charlie is very different. Paul had wanderlust, being in the military was a good fit for him. He didn't like staying in one place for very long." She took a sip of her tea. "But Charlie has no desire to ever move away from Forks and that suits me just fine." She said with a smile.
They sound really serious…
Suzanne followed us back to Charlie's house where we continued to chat until the men arrived.
As soon as he saw me, Edward pulled me into his arms, and kissed me soundly.
We said our goodbyes to Charlie and Suzanne, and headed back to Seattle.
"So how was your lunch?" Edward asked as we rode along.
"As much as it surprises me to admit this; I hope Charlie proposes soon. Suzanne is perfect for him."
"Whoa Bells," Emmett exclaimed. "What the hell?"
"I know, I know," I said with a laugh. "That doesn't sound like me, but" I turned to face Edward, placing my hand in his as I looked into his eyes, "I'm starting to become a firm believer in instant gratification. Besides, they've known each other for years, what's the point in waiting? Dad's not getting any younger." I grinned.
There was stunned silence for a moment before Edward, Rose and Emmett all laughed at my response.
"Out of anyone, I thought you'd be the one most opposed to Pops remarrying Bells." Emmett was still shocked.
"I want Dad to be happy. He's been alone too long."
"Amen," Rose answered with a smile.
-V&V—
"Hey chicka," Chris chirped happily over the phone line. "Just in case you didn't know it already, we're flying up in two weeks for Mama E and Daddy C's costume party."
I smiled, well aware that Carlisle and Esme were having a costume party the week before Halloween. They'd decided to hold it early because of the fact that Edward and I would be flying to New Orleans on Halloween for the next phase of filming for Enemy Combatant.
"Yes Chris. I know all about it."
"Well Bella Mia, what you probably don't know is that Alice and I are doing yours and Edward's costumes; and you're not going to find out what they are until the day of."
"But…" I cringed, fearful of what Chris and Alice could come up with when they put their heads together.
"No buts!"
"But…"
"Isabella!"
I sighed loudly. "Okay! Let me just say that I refuse to wear anything too risqué."
Chris chuckled. "Now seriously, would we do that to you Princess?"
I hesitated for a long moment. "I'm not sure."
Chris laughed. "Wow, I'm gratified to know how much confidence you have in us. By the way, we're doing Emmett's and Rose's along with Daddy C's and Mama E's."
This caught my interest. "And no one will know what they're wearing beforehand?"
"Uh-uh. It's going to be so much fun!" He practically shouted. "Well Bella, I'd better get back to work. See you soon girlfriend. Ciao."
"Ciao, I mean goodbye."
I knew for a fact that no matter what they dressed Edward in; he'd still be sex on legs. I only hoped that whatever I wore could compare, and Edward wouldn't look like he was 'slumming it' by standing next to me.
-V&V—
'The gossip sites seem to have run amuck with photos and speculation about Mrs. Edward Masen and the unknown man she was spotted with, sharing coffee and conversation. I have it on good authority that the 'mystery man' is none other than Shane Benedict, author of Enemy Combatant.'
'Bella and Shane met on the set of the movie bearing the same name while Bella was there visiting her husband. Evidently Shane and Bella immediately hit it off, but sources in the know tell us they are 'merely friends'.'
'Never fear Bellward fans, although the honeymoon may technically be over, Edward and Bella still can't seem to get enough of each other. Despite Bella's new friend, she and her husband were recently spotted back in Bella's hometown, attending services in the Church where they were married. Eyewitnesses said it was obvious that they were deeply in love; evident by the fact that they were holding hands and smiling at one another most of the time.'
I was so bored that I'd taken to reading the online gossip about Edward and myself. The insinuation that there was something other than friendship between Shane and I managed to piss me off somewhat, but I kept reminding myself that as long as Edward wasn't upset, then I would do my best to ignore the nonsense.
I only went to visit Edward once during the next week, because filming had been moved to the set they'd constructed outside of Olympia. Edward and I managed to have an 'extended' lunch hour in his trailer that day, which more than made the two hour drive worthwhile.
He wasn't arriving home until after nine each evening, which made my days rather long and lonely. I tried my best to keep busy; doing a bit more furniture shopping, meeting for lunch with Rose one day, and with Esme another, writing, cleaning and cooking, but I missed Edward terribly.
When Friday dawned, grey and rainy, it only added to my feelings of loneliness. Edward said that he'd be extra late because of doing a night shoot, but the good news was that he would have off all weekend.
I was in the midst of planning a special dinner that we could have on Saturday evening when my phone rang.
Shane
We'd exchanged numbers the last time we'd seen each other. Obviously, I'd made sure that it was okay with Edward before doing so.
"Hi Shane, how's it going?"
"I have the day off, can you believe it?"
"That's great, what will you do with all your free time?" I asked with a smile.
"Well…there's a John Huston movie marathon at the Uptown Theatre, and I was calling to see if you wanted to go?" He asked in a happy tone. "That is, if you're not busy."
I thought about it. Edward was working really late, and I was bored out of my mind sitting at home.
This seemed like the perfect distraction.
Then I thought about the paps. They'd already made too much of my friendship with Shane.
Although, if I drive myself to the theater, there's a good chance the paps will assume I'm running errands, and won't follow.
"When does it start?"
"In a little over an hour." Shane didn't even attempt to mask the excitement in his voice. "You can come?"
"Why not?" I agreed. "It sounds like fun. Besides, Edward won't be home until really late, it gets lonely around here. It would be nice to get out for the afternoon."
"That's great Bella."
"Shane, because of the paps, I'll meet you inside the theater okay?"
He chuckled. "Sounds good Bella. Text me when you arrive."
I sent a quick text to Edward, telling him that I was going out for the afternoon, and that I missed him. I knew he wouldn't see it until he had a break from filming, but I wanted him to know that I was thinking about him.
On my way to my car, Rose called.
"Hey Bells, I've got a doctor's appointment this afternoon so I should be home early. How about you come over and have dinner with us before Emmett flies to Chicago?"
"Gosh Rose, I'd love to but I'm going to a movie marathon with Shane, and I don't think it's over until about seven. I think I'll just go home and crawl into bed at that point."
"Oh." Rose was quiet for a minute.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Well.. Don't take this the wrong way Bells, but I just wondered if Edward is okay with the idea of you going out alone with Shane. I mean, I know you Bells, and I know you only have eyes for your husband, but the paps and the gossip sites have been pretty harsh lately."
I bit my lip. "I've discussed this with Edward. He's perfectly fine with me having a male friend."
"Are you sure?" She asked. "Bells, Edward's a sweetheart, but he's still a guy. There's no way he's not jealous, even only a little."
"I don't..."
"Listen, it's not for me to tell you what to do. I have male friends. I don't go out with them one on one though, we always go out as a group with their wives or girlfriends. From what you've told me, this Shane is unattached. I just want you to keep your guard up. He may be looking for more than friendship from you."
"Oh Rose." I suddenly felt nervous as I backed the car out of the garage, then I sighed, feeling a little defeated. I thought back over every conversation I'd had with Shane. "I don't get that vibe from him Rose. I think he's just lonely. He's here in Seattle without any friends or family."
"Honey, I didn't mean to cause you stress. If you think this guy's okay, then by all means go out and have a good time."
"Well, I've left a message with Edward, but he's working really late. It's not like he'll even miss me. As for the paps, I'm meeting Shane there, if anyone follows, I'll probably turn around and go home."
"It would be for the best I think Bells." Rose said in a quiet tone. "I love you sweetie. Maybe we can do dinner next week."
"Sounds good. Love you too."
-V&V-
"I can't believe you've never seen The Maltese Falcon Bella." Shane stated incredulously.
I shrugged. "It never caught my interest. I'm glad to say we've amended that today. Edward will be pleased." I smiled.
Shane smiled and nodded.
After Rosalie's warning earlier, I'd paid close attention to Shane's demeanor, but I could detect no flirtatious or suggestive behavior whatsoever during our afternoon and evening together.
The experience wasn't any different than if I'd gone to the movies with one of my friends from college.
I smiled to myself and grabbed a handful of popcorn as the next film began.
Four hours later, my stomach full of pizza, nachos and popcorn, I said goodbye to Shane and walked from the almost empty theater to my car.
I was halfway home before I remembered to turn my phone back on.
There were four voicemails, all from Edward. I got an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach as I listened to them one by one.
Edward's voice began, as soft and smooth as velvet:
'Baby, where are you? I know you said you'd be out, but I need to speak with you. Call me back when you get this.'
In the next one, he sounded a little nervous, but not terribly worried yet:
'Sweetheart, I am a little concerned that you haven't called me back. I may as well tell you that I'm on my way to the house. Clint doesn't need me back on set until tonight, so I thought I'd surprise you. Come home as soon as you can, or I can meet you somewhere. Love you.'
In the next message, his worry was evident:
'Bella, I just spoke with Lou. I can't believe you went out alone, and aren't answering your phone. Where are you? I'm getting anxious sweetheart. Please call me.'
By the last one, he was in a full-fledged panic:
'Bella, I'm freaking out here. If you get this, call me right away. Otherwise, I'm phoning every member of our family hoping you're with one of them. I'm losing my mind baby. I love you. Please call.'
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I'd never intended to worry him. In retrospect, my message had been very vague. I should have told him exactly what I was doing, so he'd have understood why my phone was shut off.
But deep inside, I knew that I'd purposely withheld the fact that I was spending the better part of the day with Shane. I could lie to myself all I wanted, but at the time it seemed easier to explain what I'd done after the fact, than to pique his jealousy unnecessarily while he was working.
Yes, I was aware that he was a little jealous of Shane. I also knew that he had no reason to be.
I dialed his number without hesitation.
He answered just as quickly. "Where are you?" His clipped tone sounded from the phone, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. Gone was the panic, and in its place was a cold, detached, and very businesslike Edward.
My heart sank as I gathered my wits to respond. "I'm on my way home. Listen Edward, I've been in a movie theater for hours, that's why my phone wasn't on. I'm so sorry..."
He cut me off. "I'm well aware of where you've been Bella, and with whom you chose to spend your day. Rose told me. I wish you had been the one to relay that information, but no matter." His tone changed from cold to angry then. "Do you have any fucking idea how worried I was? Call me crazy Bella, but it wasn't that long ago that you were kidnapped by a lunatic asshole that planned to kill you. I tend to lose my mind when I can't get in touch with you."
My stomach dropped to my feet at his words. I couldn't recall a time when Edward had been truly angry with me.
"I'm sorry," I said in a small voice.
"Are you? Because from where I sit it doesn't seem that way. I can't imagine treating someone I loved in such a callous manner. And then to find out that you were with Shane. I honestly don't know what the hell to think anymore." He barked the words, sounding nothing like the man I married.
"Edward, what are you saying?" I was beginning to find my voice.
I heard him draw in a deep breath. "I'm just angry Bella. We probably shouldn't be having this conversation until I've had a chance to cool down. Do me a favor and as soon as you get home, lock yourself in the damned house." He growled, and I imagined him raking his hand through his hair. "I never thought I'd miss the day when you were afraid of your own shadow. At least you wouldn't be spending hours in a darkened movie theater with a virtual fucking stranger."
His words hit me like a chill wind. At first my mind refused to process the idea that Edward preferred the damaged girl I used to be to the more confident woman I was becoming.
No, he's just upset…
Regardless, I couldn't drive another mile. His angry words affected me so much that my hands were shaking and my eyes began to fill with tears, making driving next to impossible. I pulled the Mustang into a convenience store parking lot and listened to Edward in complete silence.
I didn't even breathe.
"Listen," his tone slightly softer now, "I've got to go; we just arrived back at the set. I'll see you in a few hours."
I reached over and disconnected the call without giving him a chance to say goodbye.
I was hurt.
I was also angry, but the anger I felt was directed toward myself every bit as much as it was directed toward Edward.
I didn't know what to do, and before I could even think, I was dialing Rose's number.
"Is he very angry?" She asked worriedly as soon as she answered.
"Yes," I managed to choke out as the tears finally began to fall.
"Oh Bells, I thought you'd told him you were with Shane. I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. I'm so sorry."
"S'okay," I said with a sniffle. "That's not the part that hurts Rose."
"What is it sweetie?"
"He said he missed the person I used to be; the one who was afraid of her own shadow and wouldn't have spent the afternoon with a virtual stranger."
I heard Rose draw in a sharp breath. "What a douchebag," she muttered angrily.
"No Rose, I should have told him exactly what I was doing. I just didn't want to upset him and now it's all blown up in my face."
"Bella, be that as it may, he still didn't have a right to say something like that. Edward is talking out of his ass. If he could have seen the way you were five years ago, hell even three years ago…." She huffed. "I want to smack him."
I giggled through my tears. "Please don't. The bottom line is that this is my fault. Yeah, I'm hurt by what he said. Very hurt…."
"Bells, he had no right to say that, but I can't believe Edward really means what he said, he was probably just angry and venting. I know he was beside himself with worry when he called."
I sniffled.
"Sweetie, are you at home?"
"No."
"Where are you, do you need me to come get you?"
"No Rose. I'm in the Mustang in a convenience store parking lot. I needed to calm down before driving the rest of the way home. Once I get there, I'm going to bed."
Rose sighed. "I'm sorry you're hurting."
"Me too."
-V&V—
Soon after I arrived home, my phone rang with a call from Edward. I ignored it; not quite ready to speak with him again. He didn't leave a voicemail.
In order to avoid a repeat of his panic attack from earlier in the evening, I sent him a quick text.
I'm home. Going to sleep now.
I hoped he understood my meaning, and wouldn't phone again.
I tried falling asleep in our bed, but Edward's scent was all around me, causing fresh tears to fall. In the end, I wandered downstairs into my little study in the front of the house and curled up on the divan across from my desk.
I tucked the fleece throw around my body and was soon lost in a fitful slumber. Around midnight I awoke shivering from the cold. Edward hadn't arrived home yet, so I started a fire and poured myself a glass of wine. I carried it with me back to the study and thought about what I would say to him.
I knew I wanted to apologize for making him worry, and also make it clear that he had no reason whatsoever to be jealous of Shane. My friendship with Shane had obviously bothered Edward a lot more than he'd admitted. I'd been blind to that fact, but on the other hand, he should have been honest with me.
After another sip of wine, I thought back to what he'd said.
Does Edward really wish I was still the broken, dependent girl I was before?
I felt myself tearing up again as I considered that. His words hurt and I intended to tell him that tomorrow.
After finishing the wine, I snuggled down into the divan again, and drifted off to sleep. My dreams were soon invaded by images of the park ranger's leering smile and Edward's harsh words. I screamed so loudly that I woke myself up. As I fought to catch my breath, I blinked, searching the blackness around me, unsure of where I was.
A pair of strong arms surrounded me then, pulling me against a hard chest. Instead of feeling comforted, I was startled and screamed again while trying to escape the embrace. The arms tightened their hold. "Baby, it's me. You were having a nightmare." Edward soothed in my ear.
I stopped fighting and relaxed into his warmth for a moment until the memory of his voice from the night before returned.
'I never thought I'd miss the day when you were afraid of your own shadow.'
Was this what Edward wanted? A girl whose dreams were plagued with visions of a monster intent on taking her life?
Fuck that.
I was never going to be that girl again, no matter what. My body went rigid and I backed out of his arms, pushing against his chest with my hands.
"Don't. Just don't."
*******A/N****
A/N Aww….their first fight. Well, it had to happen at some point.
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