“Crazy day huh Sissy?” He asked quietly. “At least now I understand why Rose has been so tired for the past week.”
Rose has been tired?
I was hit with another wave of guilt for not spending more time with my best friend, and silently promised myself to amend that situation starting tomorrow.
“I’m really happy for you and Rose.” I told him.
His smile grew wider.
As soon as I arrived home, I headed for my laptop, and connected to skype. It was almost six o’clock in the morning in England, and my fiancé was lying there waiting for me, fast asleep.
I melted at the sight. He needed a shave, and his hair was in mad disarray as usual. His lips were formed into a slight pout as he slept, and I hoped he was dreaming of me.
As I watched, he began to stir. He finally opened his eyes and blinked several times before flashing me his brilliant smile.
“Good morning beautiful, although I guess it’s still Sunday at home.” His smiled faded as he continued. “How was today sweetheart? I wish I could have been there with you.”
Even if I’d never told him how Mother’s Day affected me, I had a feeling that Edward would somehow know. He was that in tune to my moods.
“Oh Edward.” I finally allowed a couple of tears to form. “It turned out to be a wonderful day.” I blinked and the tears ran down my cheeks.
Edward looked a little alarmed. “Bella, if the day was wonderful, then why are you crying?”
“It was just a bit overwhelming.” I said as the tears really started to flow.
Edward started to get distressed, and began to roughly run his hands through his hair. “Bella, please tell me what’s going on before I lose my mind. You have no idea how difficult it is to watch you cry, and know that I can do nothing to help.”
“Edward stop!” I didn’t want him upset. “These are happy tears.”
He immediately stopped tugging at his hair and waited for me to elaborate. “I was prepared for this day to be difficult, but it never happened. Early this morning, Rose found out she’s pregnant.” I said the last word with emphasis, and watched as his eyebrows shot up in surprise.
I then proceeded to tell him about Alice’s early morning visit, and Emmett’s reaction to the news. Before I finished, Edward’s wide smiled matched my own.
“There was only one sour note to the entire day.” I grimaced as I thought about Rose and Jasper’s mother and her harsh words. “Mrs. Whitlock rode in on her broomstick and made Rose cry.” I told him the horrible things she’d said. Edward shook his head in disbelief.
“Your mother got angry and said that a baby was never an embarrassment, and told her she should be ashamed for making her daughter cry.”
Edward gave me a sad smile. “I’m not surprised. My mother considers every child to be a blessing. She would have been quite happy to have had a house full.” He said wistfully. “I know that Mom and Dad wanted another child after I was born, but it never happened. Personally, I’m surprised she wanted any more after having me.“
What a cheeky boy.
“Why Edward? Because they’d already attained perfection?“ I asked with a smirk.
Edward blurted out a laugh. “Yeah, right.“ He laughed again. “No, Bella, I wasn’t being egotistical. Evidently Mom had a horribly long and painful labor with me. I was rather big.“
Edward was ‘rather big‘.
And because I’d had a very emotionally exhausting day, added to the fact that I was related to Emmett, my mind immediately descended into the gutter.
Edward was rather ‘big‘. I would venture a guess that he was still big. Although there’s no way I could know this for sure.
Bella stop thinking about Edward’s peen. You know very well that’s not what he was referring to.
I told my subconscious to shut the fuck up as I sorted this out.
Edward’s peen.
Edward’s peen that I’ve never seen…..
Hey I made a rhyme! I knew that poetry class I took during sophomore year would prove to be worthwhile.
I went back to my musings.
It’s completely my fault that I’ve never seen the peen. If I asked, I bet he’d show it to me. Am I brave enough to ask? Absolutely not.
Oh fuck. Maybe I’m obsessed with Edward’s hiney because I’m secretly afraid of his peen.
Maybe I’m allergic to peen.
Nah, that’s stupid. That’s as silly as saying Edward’s allergic to vagina.
I started chuckling at my silliness, still thinking about Edward’s privates, when his voice startled me out of my internal debate.
“Bella, where did you go just now?” He asked. “You completely zoned out on me.” He narrowed his eyes as he watched my reaction. “I’m dying to know what you were thinking about because your face just turned the loveliest shade of red.” He smirked.
Nope. Not gonna happen Cullen. We will not discuss the peen until you’re back in America, if ever.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Edward.” I said as I smiled innocently.
He narrowed his eyes as he continued to smirk.
--V&V--
The next day being Monday meant that I didn’t have school. After talking to Edward on the phone, I went in search of Emmett. I needed to get back into my exercise routine, I’d been a slacker since my trip to London.
Rose had already left for WIRI, and Emmett was thrilled I wanted to work out.
I was on the treadmill next to his when he stopped to answer his phone. “Hey Pops” He said in his always cheerful tone. “Oh really? Do you know why he was in Seattle?” He listened.
“Yeah, so that would fit the time period for the first one, but what about last week?” He stopped to listen again.
I noticed him eyeing me warily as he spoke. When he abruptly looked away and refused to make further eye contact, I knew that the conversation was about me.
“Maybe he has a friend in town. Well, it’s good to know. Thanks Pops. Yeah we start our pre Cana classes this weekend with Father Pat. Talk to you later.”
Emmett ended the call and switched the treadmill back on without so much as a glance in my direction.
I shut off my treadmill and reached over doing the same to his.
“Hey Bells, why’d you do that?”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I want to know what Charlie told you Emmett. Don’t try to deny it, you’re a terrible liar.“
He looked irritated. “Well, Pops didn’t say that I couldn’t tell you.“ He thought. “Damn it, I wish Rose was here.“
“You can’t hide behind Rose this time. Emmett, just tell me. If you don’t, I’ll probably invent something in my head which is ten times worse than the reality.“ I stated honestly.
He nodded as he bit his lip. “Yeah, that’s true.“ He let out a breath. “Okay, Pops has been doing a little investigating, and found out that Jeff’s brother” He watched me carefully for a reaction as he said the name, “that ass wipe Jason Dryden, flew into Seattle last month.”
I thought about why this would be significant, then it came to me, “The flowers.” I muttered.
“Yeah, that’s what Pops thinks anyway. Dryden was here the week you received flowers the first time.” He stated calmly, still watching for my reaction.
“But he wasn’t here last week?” I continued.
“No, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t get someone else to do it.” He said. “Look Pops is working on it. We just have to wait to see what else he finds out.”
This bit of information actually calmed me. Thinking that the flowers may have just been a way for Jeff’s family to taunt me, rather than being the work of some unknown stalker made me breathe a sigh of relief.
“You okay?” My brother asked.
“Yeah, I’m actually good.” I smiled as I switched my machine back on.
--V&V--
“What are you thinking about?” Edward asked.
“Always so inquisitive.” I smiled.
We were talking on skype again. It was Monday night for me, Tuesday morning for Edward.
“If you must know, I was wishing for the millionth time that I was with you.” I answered honestly. He was leaving for Cannes today, and he had such a full schedule, that we weren’t sure if we’d have a chance to skype while he was there.
“Next year baby.” Then I saw his eyes light up with sudden realization. “We’ll be married by then, and if I have to go to Cannes, you will be with me, as my wife.” He grinned.
I returned his smile. “Speaking of getting married…” I hesitated, thinking that maybe I should wait until he was home to bring this up.
His smile faltered as he tried to read my expression. “Not having second thoughts are you?”
I noticed the absence of his smile. “Of course not Edward. Never.” I stated firmly as I watched the smile return.
“What are your wishes for the wedding? I mean, I should probably start making some plans, instead of waiting until you get home to do everything.”
“Bella, here’s my honest answer.” He sat up straight, looking right into the camera. “None of that matters to me. As soon as I see you in that white dress, your father walking you down the aisle to me, no one and nothing else will matter. I doubt I’ll notice much else for the rest of the day.“
I think I just melted into a pile of goo.
When I was finally able to form a coherent sentence, I began. “That’s sort of the way I feel every time you say something sweet like that. Edward, you were blessed with a silver tongue.”
He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows before giving me a glimpse of that tongue as he slowly licked his lips.
Damn you Sexward.
“Okay, I’m changing the subject now, because you are entirely too distracting.” I blurted.
Edward barked out a laugh.
“How soon until you leave?” I asked.
“I have to start getting reading in fifteen minutes or so.”
“Okay, maybe you have time to help me with my homework.” He looked puzzled, I’d never spoken much about my school work with him.
He shrugged. “Of course Bella. What can I do?”
“Well, it’s not actually for school. Dr. Miller wants me to make a list of things that I like about myself. That part of the assignment is proving difficult.”
I ignored Edward’s frown and continued. “The other part of the assignment is to list ten things that others like about me. Emmett already gave me a couple, I was hoping to get a couple from you.”
Edward sighed. “I’m limited to ten?” He smiled gently.
I nodded. He held up his fingers as he counted.
“You’re breathtakingly beautiful, extremely sexy, the most honest person I know, charming, witty, funny, smart, forgiving, compassionate, and thoughtful. That’s ten, but I feel compelled to add that you’re also a great kisser.” He smirked as he wiggled his eyebrows yet again.
I laughed and then I watched him before asking quietly, “Do you really see me that way Edward?”
He nodded. “Bella, I thought maybe your self-esteem would be improving by now. Sometimes you act as if people want to spend time with you out of pity.” He sighed. “I don’t pity you Bella. I love you. My heart breaks when I think of the things you’ve had to endure, but my main concern is the future, not the past. We’re going to have a wonderful future baby.“ He added gently.
His words rang true. “I’ve wasted a lot time haven’t I?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Thinking myself unworthy of everyone’s love. I’m working on it Edward. Dr. Miller said that I need to learn to love myself and the first step was learning to like myself. That’s why she gave me this exercise.”
“Bella, you honestly can’t come up with ten things you like about yourself?”
Should I be honest?
“I’ve come up with two so far, but I’m still working on it.”
Edward rested his chin on his hand as he thought. “I know this is a private matter, but will you keep me apprised of your progress?” He asked quietly.
“I can do that.” I answered.
--V&V--
Edward called me twice on Tuesday as he dashed from point A to point B, granting interviews.
As I sat with Tara and Joanna having lunch, he sent a text.
B-
Finished my photo shoot earlier today. On my way to a premier now. Knowing how you loved the white dinner jacket, I’m sending you a photo that I had Sidney take just for you.
I love you. I miss you.
-E
I looked at the photo and my heart almost stopped. There was my boyfriend looking ten different kinds of sexy in a white dinner jacket, with the beautiful blue of the Mediterranean behind him. I may have squeaked a little in my excitement.
That immediately got the attention of my friends, and they were out of their seats to look at my phone.
“Whoa” was all Joanna could muster to say, while Tara just shook her head as she sat back down.
Joanna looked at me appraisingly. “Bella, this is a completely inappropriate question, but inquiring minds want to know. Are you still holding that v-card?”
Tara perked up at that as she leaned in closer to hear.
I started to chuckle. “You’re right, it is inappropriate, but definitely something I’m used to.”
Especially with having Rose as a best friend.
I whispered “Yes”.
“My God, even after the trip to London?” She said as her eyes bugged. “Let me see that again.” I handed her the phone so she could look at the photo. She let out a breath. “You’ve got more will-power than I do, that’s for damn sure.” She grinned.
“Bella, what exactly are you waiting for?” Tara asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe til we’re married. Sometimes I want to just give in to my feelings and do it already. But something is holding me back. I don’t know.”
It was an honest answer, my feelings were conflicted about this.
“Hey, as long as he’s okay with that, more power to you.” Tara said as Joanna nodded. “I guess it helps that he’s on a different continent too.” She said as we all laughed.
I looked at the photo again.
New screensaver for Bella.
--V&V--
When I went into work that afternoon, Rosalie called me excitedly into her office. “Alice just sent us preview copies of Vanity Fair.” She announced as she plopped my issue down in front of me.
There on the cover was a photo of Alice, Chris, Rose and I in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle.
“The issue won’t be on the stands for a couple of weeks yet. The article is really good Bella, and the photos are stunning.” She said with a smile.
I opened my copy and began to scan the article. As promised, Alice revealed that she and Chris were the creators of Brandon Miles Designs, and she also revealed her relationship to Edward.
“Hey Bells, this thing is literally hot off the press, because they are referring to you as Edward Masen’s fiancée. How do you like that?” She asked with a grin.
Wow.
My favorite photo was the one in casual clothing on the carousel, but that was simply because I had felt the most comfortable in that clothing.
I looked at the photos again, and had to admit that even with me in them, they were beautiful.
I wouldn’t go as far as to say I was beautiful, but I could certainly pull off pretty. Knowing that Edward would argue the point made me happy inside. I made the decision at that moment to add ‘I like my appearance’ to my list.
Rose was looking through her copy, and glanced up at me. “It was a good day wasn’t it Bells?”
I nodded. “One of my favorites.”
--V&V--
It was Wednesday, which meant lunch with Esme.
As I feared, I hadn’t been able to speak with Edward for more than a few minutes at a time. He was supposed to be back in England late tonight in order to start filming again tomorrow.
“Now dear, I don’t mean to push, but you only have three months until the date you and Edward have chosen for the wedding.” Esme put her hand on her chest as she said the last two words.
I looked at the beautiful face of my future mother-in-law, and saw tears welling up in her eyes.
Immediately moved by compassion, I patted her hand. “Esme, are you alright?”
“Oh Bella. I was so afraid that I would never see the day that Edward would find someone he’d love enough to marry. And to find in you a second daughter” She stopped to take a ragged breath. “I am beyond blessed.” She said as a tear escaped and ran down her cheek.
“Oh Esme, I feel the same way about you and Carlisle.” I said as stepped around the table to give her a little hug.
She smiled. “Anyway, back to what I was saying. You only have three months.”
Crap. Is three months enough time?
“Dear, I didn’t say that to scare you.” Esme’s voice pulled me from my worrying.
“I may be able to help you.” She smiled. “Consider having your wedding and reception at our home. It would be private, and we could keep things as simple as you would like.”
I bit my lip as I thought. The one thing I knew for sure was that I really wanted to be married from my church in Forks.
“Don’t answer me right now. Talk it over with Edward. Just know that the house is available.” She gently patted my hand.
--V&V--
Late that night I did just that. It was Thursday morning in London, and we were finally able to go on skype again.
“I had lunch with your mother today.” I informed him.
“That’s nice.” He smiled. “I had lunch yesterday with Johnny Depp.” He said with a smirk.
“You did!” I still cringed when I thought of our lunch with Johnny over a month ago. “How did that happen?”
Edward chuckled. “We were granting interviews for the same magazine, and he asked if I was busy for lunch. We had a nice time.”
I am so looking for photos of that on the internet.
“What did you talk about?”
Please don’t say me.
“You” Edward breathed.
Shit.
Edward laughed. “My God Bella, you should see your face. You look so guilty.”
“I am guilty.” I muttered. “Guilty of ruining our lunch with Johnny because of my drunken behavior.”
Edward continued to laugh. “You didn’t ruin anything. I told you, Johnny likes you. A lot. He’d heard about the engagement, of course, and wanted to congratulate me.”
I smiled. “That was nice.”
“I told you he’s a good guy. I‘d like to invite him to the wedding if that‘s okay?”
“Absolutely Edward.” I smiled and nodded. “Speaking of the wedding, your Mom mentioned that we could use their house for the wedding and reception.”
“Is that what you want?” Edward asked.
I sighed. “Edward, I really want to be married from my church.” I admitted.
“Then that’s what we’ll do Bella. Stop worrying, you won’t hurt my mother’s feelings.” He was quiet for a moment. “We’ll get married in Forks.“ He said decidedly. “Where would you like to hold the reception?“
This was a problem. “There’s really no where that will work. I don’t think we should have it at the fire hall if you’re inviting Hollywood people.“ I chuckled.
I wracked my brain, trying to think of somewhere in Forks that was elegant and large enough to hold the reception.
We could always have it outside.
But with Washington’s unpredictable weather, that wouldn’t work either.
He smiled. “I have an idea.”
“What?”
“We get married in Forks, but hold the reception at my parent’s home.” Edward suggested quietly.
“But…it’s so far away.” I whispered.
“It would take a little planning, but I don’t think the guest list is going to be massive Bella. After the wedding, we arrange to have all the guests shuttled to my parent’s house.”
Wow, I really like that idea.
“Like, get married in the morning?” I asked.
“It’s just a thought. We can discuss it later if you’d like.”
I smiled brightly. “I would like that very much.”
“Good. I’m glad I could help.” He smiled. “Sweetheart, I have to get going. Call my Mom, she can get the ball rolling with preparations.”
“I can’t wait until you get home Edward.” I said quietly.
“I’ll be back before you know it.” He smiled. “I love you beautiful.”
“I love you too.”
--V&V--
“All I know is that I refuse to go any place where there are male strippers.” I announced.
I was riding in the hummer with Emmett and Rose. It was Ascension Thursday, and we were returning home after Mass at the Cathedral.
“There will be no strippers of any kind at either party.” Rose announced with a pointed look at my brother.
“Maybe you’d better tell Emmett that he’s not allowed to have a stripper jump out of a cake, because he was so trying to get the baker to set him up with that.” I smiled as I ratted on my brother.
“What the hell Bells?!” Emmett exclaimed.
“Emmett Swan don’t you dare even think of doing that.” Rose scolded him.
“Babe, it wasn’t for me. I just didn’t want the other guys thinking I was a pussy.” He muttered with a pout.
“Yeah? Pussy is exactly what you won’t get for the first year of our married life if you pull any of that shit again.” Rose barked.
Emmett deserved it. I knew that he’d force Edward to attend his bachelor party, and there was no way I was letting my sweet Edward within a hundred feet of some nasty skanky stripper.
As we rode up in the elevator, Emmett mouthed the word ‘traitor’ to me. I stuck out my tongue.
True to my promise of helping with their wedding preparations, I spent the evening addressing invitations at Rose and Emmett‘s apartment. Emmett had the television on one of the local channels, but we weren’t really paying attention until a news bulletin came on.
Central Washington is reeling tonight over the death of former prosecutor Geri Chance.
Ms. Chance, as you no doubt remember, became quite a controversial figure last month when she had what can only be described as a meltdown during an interview on a local news and entertainment program.
After that, Ms. Chance was put on unpaid leave while she was the subject of an investigation by the Justice Department. Tonight, while crossing the street in downtown Seattle, Ms. Chance was struck by a city bus. She died at the scene. Witnesses said that Ms. Chance grew impatient while waiting, and crossed against the light.
The report switched to an interview with a witness.
‘A few of us were waiting at the corner for the light to change. The lady got a pissed off look on her face and started to walk into the street. A couple of us yelled at her to wait, because it wasn’t safe. She just told us to shut the hell up. She must have been in a big hurry. She’s dead now.‘
I’d never wanted to laugh inappropriately so much in my life.
I am a terrible person.
The reporter returned to the screen.
As you can see, the police are still on the scene. Over my shoulder is the bus which struck and killed Ms. Chance.
I heard Rose gasp while Emmett’s eyes almost bugged out of his head. Prominently displayed on the side of the city bus was a Calvin Klein underwear ad, starring none other than my brother.
It is doubtful that the driver of the bus will be charged with any wrongful conduct in this case.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
“Holy crap.” I muttered. Not able to actually process what I’d just seen.
“Wow.” Rose shook her head in disbelief.
“Fucking awesome.” muttered Emmett.
“Ladies, this is almost as satisfying as getting to run her over myself. Think of it, through her own stupidity, she gets hit by a bus carrying an ad of my glorious half-naked bod on the side.”
“I think we can carry two things away from what we’ve seen here tonight. One: life doesn’t get much sweeter than this for Emmett Swan, and Two: Karma is a Bitch.”
*************Author's note***********************************
I seriously considered calling this chapter: ’Skypeward & The Peen’, but it sounded too much like a cartoon. You know..like Pinky and The Brain. Hey maybe that would be a good cartoon fanfic: ’Skypeward & The Peen’, conquering the world one vagina at a time. *sigh* I apologize. I am so disturbed.
I finally get to use the photo of Rpatz from Details magazine..white dinner jacket….mmmm
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